Instant dislike of someone
Instant dislike of someone
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Discussion

Skeptisk

Original Poster:

8,897 posts

138 months

Friday 29th July 2022
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I wonder if others have had this.

In a previous job I had spoken with my future boss on the telephone but had not met him in person (a bit difficult as he was in NZ and I was still in the U.K.) He seemed okay.

Before I left for NZ he was in London as part of a vacation and we met up. Pretty much as soon as we met and started talking the alarm bells started ringing. I discussed this with my daughter and can’t say what it was but subconsciously I must have been picking up clues from his mannerisms and body language that clearly I hadn’t been able to get from just speaking to him on the telephone. My initial impression was that he was slimy and a bullstter and although verbally charming, not sincere or trustworthy. The stereotypical second hand car salesman or estate agent. Unfortunately my negative gut reaction proved to be 100% correct, if not exceeded. In his honour I decided that a euphemism for s should be his name so with wife and daughter will say eg “he was a right D!”

All in the past now, fortunately. Still it was interesting to have confirmed how much we subconsciously pick up from body language.

loskie

7,084 posts

149 months

Friday 29th July 2022
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Yes. Agree with you on that.

99% of the time your first gut reaction is the right one.

FiF

48,701 posts

280 months

Friday 29th July 2022
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Absolutely, there are people you see in the street and the instant reaction is "they're trouble."

It's an animal thing, dogs same, some small thing we don't understand and the normally calmest dog is up for a scrap.

Can be a similar thing with car "body language", for want of a better description of the manner of someone's driving. You can see a small insignificant thing in the way something is being driven and get the sense to watch out. BMW the other night, just the way it went down this one way and changed lanes, sure enough less than minute later, turned left, no signal, straight through a red, pedestrian lucky they looked before assuming green man meant ok to step out. Cue, they all do that sir.

Red9zero

11,175 posts

86 months

Friday 29th July 2022
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Had an email from someone this week who used their letters after their name in their email address. Instant dislike.

JQ

6,784 posts

208 months

Friday 29th July 2022
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It’s why I dislike the move to Teams or Zoom calls to replace certain business meetings, you can gain so much more information from meeting someone face to face.

hammo19

7,688 posts

225 months

Friday 29th July 2022
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Red9zero said:
Had an email from someone this week who used their letters after their name in their email address. Instant dislike.
Instant switch off when I see the pronouns appearing

loskie

7,084 posts

149 months

Friday 29th July 2022
quotequote all
yes exactly. I work in the civil service and this st is rife. As is a say my name thing.

There's teams of "overworked" people who's job it is to come up with this st!

It's unbelievable

anonymous-user

83 months

Friday 29th July 2022
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In answer to the original post...yes

CoolHands

23,393 posts

224 months

Friday 29th July 2022
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Yes, the lazy slimy cocky work-shy site manager at my place. Appalling employee IMO.

Gary29

5,199 posts

128 months

Friday 29th July 2022
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Yes, had this a few times over the years, and no matter what I could never shake that instant first gut reaction.


Heartworm

1,938 posts

190 months

Friday 29th July 2022
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hammo19 said:
Instant switch off when I see the pronouns appearing
🤣 Instant switch off at anytime who gives a crap about pronouns.

I find them particularly useful for our foreign staff when I have had no contact with them before.

Spare tyre

12,545 posts

159 months

Friday 29th July 2022
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Account managers at my place, 1/3 decent sorts, the rest would sell their granny for a fiver

My gut feeling is usually right with them


AdeTuono

7,626 posts

256 months

Friday 29th July 2022
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Red9zero said:
Had an email from someone this week who used their letters after their name in their email address. Instant dislike.
What do you mean by 'their letters'?

Jasandjules

72,580 posts

258 months

Friday 29th July 2022
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A friend once told me she thinks it is because you knew them in a past life and they did you wrong in some way, so this time around your soul knows not to trust them. Strange idea but still..

Oh and it is also why, she said, it is the opposite for some people you just like/get on with within seconds, as if you have known them for years, because your soul has !

bompey

628 posts

264 months

Friday 29th July 2022
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AdeTuono said:
What do you mean by 'their letters'?
Professional qualifications. I think the same when I see people use them.

Tyre Smoke

23,018 posts

290 months

Friday 29th July 2022
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My sister's boyfriend. Perfectly polite, but within two minutes it was clear he thought he was better than me. And now, every picture I see of him he's got a smarmy smirk on his face.


V1nce Fox

5,508 posts

97 months

Friday 29th July 2022
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I’ve gone too far the other way. I have a default distrust of most new people i meet and it takes quite a while before i can trust them. It maybe an age thing.

ben5575

7,429 posts

250 months

Friday 29th July 2022
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bompey said:
AdeTuono said:
What do you mean by 'their letters'?
Professional qualifications. I think the same when I see people use them.
100%. Has the Whiff of a Walt about it.

The Wookie

14,209 posts

257 months

Friday 29th July 2022
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ben5575 said:
100%. Has the Whiff of a Walt about it.
Someone I deal with goes as far as listing things like his yachting license, Bronze Swimming certificate and his racing license, but glams it up as ‘RACMSA National B’ or somesuch

He is, indeed, a tit

LukeBrown66

4,479 posts

75 months

Friday 29th July 2022
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I think dislike is harsh from just seeing, you have to get to know them a bit really, to form that fully.

I have been wrong about people numerous times after forming an opinion about them and it is not great!

But I have met people in the past that you just know you are never going to get on with after a few hours. It is not easy, especially if they are senior to you in a role or a parent of a girlfriend etc!

You just have to hope that one day you get to tell them!!