What is correct etiquette?
What is correct etiquette?
Author
Discussion

Pistom

Original Poster:

6,410 posts

188 months

Friday 9th September 2022
quotequote all
Could anyone tell me if there is a correct way to address a couple when sending a card or invite for a social event.

Assuming it's a hetrosexual couple - should it be the ladies name first or does such a rule not exist?

Many etiquet rules are ignored these days and it really doesn't matter but I was wondering if such a rule existed?

NDA

25,587 posts

254 months

Friday 9th September 2022
quotequote all
Pistom said:
Could anyone tell me if there is a correct way to address a couple when sending a card or invite for a social event.

Assuming it's a hetrosexual couple - should it be the ladies name first or does such a rule not exist?

Many etiquet rules are ignored these days and it really doesn't matter but I was wondering if such a rule existed?
If you were being very formal it would be Mr and Mrs Harry Newman (for example). Less formal would be Harry and Susan Newman. Probably putting the man's name first.... bit old fashioned, but you asked. smile

If they are not married, Mr H Newman and Ms S Jackson.

This is on the envelope, inside it would be Dear Harry and Susan.....

Doofus

34,308 posts

202 months

Friday 9th September 2022
quotequote all
Correct etiquet is "etiquette"

wink

The Mad Monk

11,445 posts

146 months

Friday 9th September 2022
quotequote all
Pistom said:
Could anyone tell me if there is a correct way to address a couple when sending a card or invite for a social event.

Assuming it's a hetrosexual couple - should it be the ladies name first or does such a rule not exist?

Many etiquet rules are ignored these days and it really doesn't matter but I was wondering if such a rule existed?
First thing is to spell the word etiquette properly.

Secondly, if to want to do things properly, it's an invitation, not an invite.

LimaDelta

8,415 posts

247 months

Friday 9th September 2022
quotequote all
Pick up a copy of Debrett's.

Silvanus

6,910 posts

52 months

Friday 9th September 2022
quotequote all
NDA said:
Pistom said:
Could anyone tell me if there is a correct way to address a couple when sending a card or invite for a social event.

Assuming it's a hetrosexual couple - should it be the ladies name first or does such a rule not exist?

Many etiquet rules are ignored these days and it really doesn't matter but I was wondering if such a rule existed?
If you were being very formal it would be Mr and Mrs Harry Newman (for example). Less formal would be Harry and Susan Newman. Probably putting the man's name first.... bit old fashioned, but you asked. smile

If they are not married, Mr H Newman and Ms S Jackson.

This is on the envelope, inside it would be Dear Harry and Susan.....
there are a fair few couples that don't share a surname. I think old fashioned formalities are just that, old fashioned. We live in a day when if you use old etiquette you will offend someone and if you don't you will also offend someone. You know the people so make a judgement on how they would like to be addressed. If you don't know them that well don't invite them wink

cobra kid

5,584 posts

269 months

Friday 9th September 2022
quotequote all
LimaDelta said:
Pick up a copy of Debrett's.
Don't. They'll end up sounding like my mother inlaw wants to sound.

MesoForm

9,814 posts

304 months

Friday 9th September 2022
quotequote all
NDA said:
Pistom said:
Could anyone tell me if there is a correct way to address a couple when sending a card or invite for a social event.

Assuming it's a hetrosexual couple - should it be the ladies name first or does such a rule not exist?

Many etiquet rules are ignored these days and it really doesn't matter but I was wondering if such a rule existed?
If you were being very formal it would be Mr and Mrs Harry Newman (for example). Less formal would be Harry and Susan Newman. Probably putting the man's name first.... bit old fashioned, but you asked. smile

If they are not married, Mr H Newman and Ms S Jackson.

This is on the envelope, inside it would be Dear Harry and Susan.....
A friend of my wife was president of the local law society, she was invited to some event as president and her husband was invited too. She was pretty angry when the invitation said 'Mr and Mrs Harry Newman' when 'Harry' was coming along as her husband and her name wasn't included at all.

Pistom

Original Poster:

6,410 posts

188 months

Friday 9th September 2022
quotequote all
The Mad Monk said:
Pistom said:
Could anyone tell me if there is a correct way to address a couple when sending a card or invite for a social event.

Assuming it's a hetrosexual couple - should it be the ladies name first or does such a rule not exist?

Many etiquet rules are ignored these days and it really doesn't matter but I was wondering if such a rule existed?
First thing is to spell the word etiquette properly.

Secondly, if to want to do things properly, it's an invitation, not an invite.
Thankfully, I got it right in the heading, not sure what went wrong in the body but thank you (and Doofus) anyway.

I'm not so concerned about this particular address but I was just curious as I could have sworn that I was tuaght many many years ago to use the female name first. That doesn't seem to be the case.

NDA

25,587 posts

254 months

Friday 9th September 2022
quotequote all
CheesecakeRunner said:
NDA said:
If you were being very formal it would be Mr and Mrs Harry Newman (for example). Less formal would be Harry and Susan Newman. Probably putting the man's name first.... bit old fashioned, but you asked. smile
I believe if one of the couple is a Doctor, they go first irrespective of gender.

So you could have Dr and Mr Newman.
Yes... and one could be an earl living with countess. The possibilities are endless.

Scrump

23,933 posts

187 months

Friday 9th September 2022
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Pistom said:
Thankfully, I got it right in the heading…
No you didn’t!
Etiquette dictates that your mistake was corrected but not highlighted.

Doofus

34,308 posts

202 months

Friday 9th September 2022
quotequote all
Scrump said:
Pistom said:
Thankfully, I got it right in the heading…
No you didn’t!
Etiquette dictates that your mistake was corrected but not highlighted.
Indeed. Poor form, old boy.

Pistom

Original Poster:

6,410 posts

188 months

Friday 9th September 2022
quotequote all
wobble

anonymous-user

83 months

Friday 9th September 2022
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To one plus one,
One is cordially invited.....blah blah

Spare tyre

12,541 posts

159 months

Saturday 10th September 2022
quotequote all
Whoever you know the most first