Worst Christmas presents 2022

[defblade]

My mother has out-done herself this year.
This is genuinely what she's bought me (along with a bicycle pizza cutter to add to my collection of bicycle pizza cutters), it came in a neat little folded gold Christmas box.
I have no fking idea what I'm supposed to do with it.



Top that!

[Alorotom]

I can't.

What is it? I shaped nail? How big is it??

[PositronicRay]

Is your mother Uri Geller?

[juice]

Bottle opener I reckon

[Shuff4]

That is…. Unique, for a present.

[tim0409]

I trust my wife to buy all the presents from me to her family…my niece has just opened her present from me, which was a furry kitten (toy). My wife thought as she wasn’t allowed to replace the family cat that died in September, this would somehow be a substitute…it didn’t go down well with my niece!

Nearly as bad as the stocking filler we received from my mum around 10 years ago. A family planning calendar, six months after our last attempt at IVF failed!

[CoolHands]

I think she is saying you are limp

[LeadFarmer]

I think your mum nailed it this year.

[Super Sonic]

Magnet fishing hook (for catching magnets)?

[defblade]

Alorotom said:

I can't.

What is it? I shaped nail? How big is it??

It's about a 6" nail.
If it was a Nine Inch Nail, it wouldn't have been on purpose...

[defblade]

juice said:

Bottle opener I reckon

Thought we had a winner... tried it on a sparkly J2O... if it's an opener, it's rubbish.

[defblade]

LeadFarmer said:

I think your mum nailed it this year.

[Lo-Fi]

Knuckle duster?

[juice]

defblade said:

Thought we had a winner... tried it on a sparkly J2O... if it's an opener, it's rubbish.

Ah well, worth a try !

Just as a thought, did you try hooking the nail head under the bottle ?

[Allegro_Snapon]

It is a "Prostate Pounder".

Your finger goes in the loop to provide retrieval of the device and the flat headed face is paced up ones anus and a gentle (or furious) motion is used twisting ones external finger to prod ones prostate, the increased flattened surface area giving increased pleasure?

[LeadFarmer]

Allegro_Snapon said:

It is a "Prostate Pounder".

Your finger goes in the loop to provide retrieval of the device and the flat headed face is paced up ones anus and a gentle (or furious) motion is used twisting ones external finger to prod ones prostate, the increased flattened surface area giving increased pleasure?

So that's another he can add to his prostate pounder collection. Mums can be so thoughtful.

Edited by LeadFarmer on Sunday 25th December 13:54

[Douglas Quaid]

You’ll have to ask her what the hell it is supposed to be and then update the thread. I can’t see any purpose other than the aforementioned bottle opener and if it doesn’t do that then I am stumped.

I have had a thermal t shirt as my worst present. My wife knows that I recently chucked all my thermal t shirts away as I did it in front of her, so I guess buying me another one for Christmas made a lot of sense.

[baptistsan]

Chest infection!

[Zippee]

Covid

[otolith]

Plantar fasciitis