Calculate - Post Your Lifetime Stats

[EmailAddress]

The initial message was deleted from this topic on 07 November 2023 at 11:49

[bloomen]

LIfe time consumption of tea - 2 cups. Or a sip of each one.

Coffee - 3 cups. V good for chronic constipation. That's the only use I have for it.

[Doofus]

I've been practicing onanism three times a day for the last nine months and I've got nearly a dustbin full in the wardrobe.

[67Dino]

My son was a fussy eater so had Chicken Nuggets for many of his meals up to the age of about 15.

Given the body’s own muscle is made of amino acids derived from the protein you eat, I idly wondered one day what proportion of him was basically Chicken Nugget. It came out as around 25%, a fact he was unreasonably proud of.

[eltax91]

In my capacity as kids football coach, my ability was recently called into question by (you guessed it a parent). How do you think you know all about football etc

Idly pondering earlier:-

1500 ish hours live watched (50 hrs per season easy x 35 seasons)

Refereed for 10 years. 3 matches per Sunday when I was a teenager and 2 thereafter. Approx 200 hours

Another 75 hours as coach of the kids.

So I’ve spent over 1750 hours of my 40 year existence watching football in some capacity

[skilly1]

10 years in a job commuting 3hrs a day. 5 days week. Don’t even want to work it out.

[skilly1]

EmailAddress said:

Bordering on a year of your life commuting.

Or 1x day / night on Venus.

Probably driven to the Moon and back.

You could have watched the entire nine Season run of Little House on the Prairie nearly 40 times.

What a waste - I love the little house on the Prairie.

[Allegro_Snapon]

Smoked so many fags by 30 that if lain end to end they would stretch from Birmingham up the M6 to Wigan.

Held a Guinness World Record (not saying as it would identify me and it wasn't a proud endurance one - got in 2008 pesky Bratford students in 2009 took my pride aw-way).

Masturbate three to six times a day in the hourly ten minute breaks work allow since we all WFH. Allegedly.

Hold the Cross-country long distance Morris Dancing record from Derbyshire since 1987.

[AndrewCrown]

Ok I'll give this a go, as a kid I used to study the stats of a cruise ship or what an average army required to go into battle.

I guess one should start with cars.

Cars

35 so far including current ownership.

Travel

Stats for the last 18 years from my BA Exec club, I only fly BA.
Prior to these stats one could add 6 more countries.

Fuel

I would estimate for the last 35 years I have been doing 10,000 miles a year...
350,000 miles, probably at 25mpg.
14,000 Gallons of Fuel, 80/20 Petrol/ Diesel

Wine

Averaging it all out... around 1000 cases of wine so far.

Houses

I have lived in 19 houses in my life in 4 countries

Steak

Estimating one 300g steak, once a week for the last 30 years. Gosh that's 468kg of beef so far

Bacon

Love bacon.. 4 rashers every two weeks last 30 years maybe 100kg!

Partners

Proper serious ones lasting years vs days/hours = 6
The current Mrs C -15 years...

[caziques]

Milk for me. Say a litre a day, comes to 24,000 litres - or approximately a milk tanker full.

[colin_p]

Apparently and according to Wikipedia the average human emits between 476–1,491 mL/24 hr

Taking the upper end of that and doubling it, as I am quite prolific, let's say 3,000 mL /24 hr, which is easily possible. On a good day I reckon it could be up to 5 to 6 litres, but for the sake of this calculation, we will go with 3 litres a day.

Therefore,

52 years x 365 days = 18,950 days

At three litres a day, that is 56,940 litres.

That is probably enough to fill up a 1/4 of a double decker bus or a small submarine.

But as many of us know, it can dissipate and dilute quite substantially but remain deadly. In which case, I'd hypothesise that if 56,940 litres were released in one go, it would be enough to clear the millennium dome, or O2 arena as it is known these days, and have the boffins turn up from Porton Down in full biohazard gear, including white wellingtons.

For context, with just one, I can clear a squash court, which I've repeated several times and then there was that time I caused mass panic in the Caves of Drach in Majorca.

[Jaska]

colin_p said:

Apparently and according to Wikipedia the average human emits between 476–1,491?mL/24?hr

Anyone else read this and without the context assume he's got really toxic ejaculate?

If it's actually about farts, then something about the units being in mL makes me think you need to check your underwear pretty often

[vikingaero]

Doofus said:

I've been practicing onanism three times a day for the last nine months and I've got nearly a dustbin full in the wardrobe.

That's an impressive cull of c.810 kittens.

[vikingaero]

AndrewCrown said:

Steak

Estimating one 300g steak, once a week for the last 30 years. Gosh that's 468kg of beef so far

Bacon

Love bacon.. 4 rashers every two weeks last 30 years maybe 100kg!

[

Mr Google says that the weight of the average cow is 700kg and the average pig is 200-300kg. So you might much one of each in your lifetime!

[AndrewCrown]

colin_p said:

For context, with just one, I can clear a squash court, which I've repeated several times and then there was that time I caused mass panic in the Caves of Drach in Majorca.

Colin you are similar to my colleague Mark
His emission took place on a small commuter plane, passengers became physically sick and the pilot , so the story goes,was considering an emergency landing at the nearest airport.

Edited by AndrewCrown on Friday 6th January 09:22

[P-Jay]

In the past 12 months:

1250 litres of Pepsi Max & 2200 litres of Super Unleaded.

I'm worried how close a figure that is, frankly if I still had my old TDI, they've had been way, way too close.

Id worry, but I've also had 10,000mg of Citalopram in 12 months, so who cares?

[Blenkiboy]

Couple of bags of crisps a day for past 22ish years. Bag of crisp a day for previous 10 years. Nearly 20,000 packets of Walkers. Blimey.

[Gixer968CS]

Across my various motorcycles (my first was at 16 and I'm now 56) I'm reckon I've ridden about 150,000 miles (totted up the miles I did on each bike so pretty close I think). At an average of 35mph (probably not so silly as I commute in to London as well as ride for pleasure) that's 4285 hours riding motorbikes in my lifetime. Sadly I don't think I'll double that before I shuffle off this mortal coil but I'll give it a good go!!

[Randy Winkman]

In the last 35 years I've been swimming at a sports centre in Westminster each week (minus work holidays). Sometimes 4 times or sometimes once. In the old days I'd do an average of about 100 lengths in a session but now it might be 50.

So I'm saying it's 35 years, times 46 weeks a year, times 2.5 sessions a week, times 75 lengths a session.

So I'm swum about 301,875 lengths of the same pool. No wonder I'm bored with it. And I'm still no good at swimming.

[bigandclever]

Been biting my nails for 40 years. Nails grow at 3.5mm a month, so 480 months * 10 fingers * 3.5mm = 1,680mm of alpha-keratin I've chomped on.

That's the width of the dorsal vertebra of the Puertasaurus , which is the broadest known vertebra of any sauropod, dontchaknow.