Splitting living expenses with partner

[RoadToad84]

Wasn't quite sure of the best place to post this. Feel it's more a social/moral question than financial, so dumped it here. Mods, please move if you deem necessary.

Basically I'm in a (presumably) secure long-term relationship with my girlfriend - 6 years and counting. Neither of us have lived with anyone else prior to this (other than parents)

She essentially lives with me already, but is currently still registered at her mum's. We're looking to make it all official this year.

Currently, she pays the energy bill (£78/month, rising to approx £150 next month) and buys the groceries (£200/month). Mortgage, council tax, solid fuel, internet, water and any other expenses are paid for by me (approx £650/month)

Going forward, we're considering how to fairly split things. She's happy to continue paying the energy bill, and will pay the difference in council tax between the single rate and cohabiting. I'd also like a nominal contribution towards the remaining expenses, say £20 a month.

Does this seem fair on both of us? Am I expecting too much? Neither of us have anything else to compare it to, so it's new ground.


For clarity, I earn approximately 20% more than her currently, though she'll likely exceed me in due course. I'm encouraging her to save as much as possible for the future.

Cheers, all thoughts welcome.

[Monkeylegend]

Do you have a joint mortgage?

[RoadToad84]

Monkeylegend said:

Do you have a joint mortgage?

No, I bought the house (first time buy) shortly after we got together. Our finances are completely separate. She transfers me the energy bill money each month.

[Douglas Quaid]

Have a joint bills account. Have everything go out of there. Split the cost.

Problem solved.

[2 sMoKiN bArReLs]

After 25 years me n 'er indoors moved in together.

We opened a joint account & both pay the same amount in when necessary. All the utilities come out of that account (and if we go out to dinner etc).

Works well for us,

[av185]

Touchy subject but be aware you could be giving her a financial interest in the property on a plate should you decide to split up in the future.

Sounds a fairly stable relationship which is great so good luck!

[Al Gorithum]

Douglas Quaid said:

Have a joint bills account. Have everything go out of there. Split the cost.

Problem solved.

Yep.

[Monkeylegend]

RoadToad84 said:

Monkeylegend said:

Do you have a joint mortgage?

No, I bought the house (first time buy) shortly after we got together. Our finances are completely separate. She transfers me the energy bill money each month.

In the worse case scenario of you splitting up how would you want that to be dealt with in terms of a financial agreement?

[RoadToad84]

Monkeylegend said:

In the worse case scenario of you splitting up how would you want that to be dealt with in terms of a financial agreement?

This is my biggest concern. She's a property lawyer as well, so it needs to be iron clad!

I consider the house to be mine. Hence I'm happy to pay the mortgage without any assistance, and a larger share of the household expenses, also part of the reason I encourage her to save as much as possible.

[RoadToad84]

Would prefer to keep finances separate, should the worst happen. Plus I get cashback on my bills from Santander!

[BoRED S2upid]

Douglas Quaid said:

Have a joint bills account. Have everything go out of there. Split the cost.

Problem solved.

This. You need £800 a month to cover everything that’s £400 each. Job done.

[Monkeylegend]

RoadToad84 said:

This is my biggest concern. She's a property lawyer as well, so it needs to be iron clad!

Ah, that makes life a bit more complicated.

Ask her what she would recommend if you were a client asking for her advice in the same circumstances, then do the complete opposite

[Octoposse]

BoRED S2upid said:

Douglas Quaid said:

Have a joint bills account. Have everything go out of there. Split the cost.

Problem solved.

This. You need £800 a month to cover everything that’s £400 each. Job done.

Exactly - but “round up” so that you’ve also got a household emergencies float.

[un1eash]

Douglas Quaid said:

Have a joint bills account. Have everything go out of there. Split the cost.

Problem solved.

This also, I have friends that are married and still use this approach and what's left is thier own.

[Monkeylegend]

un1eash said:

Douglas Quaid said:

Have a joint bills account. Have everything go out of there. Split the cost.

Problem solved.

This also, I have friends that are married and still use this approach and what's left is thier own.

The reality is what hers is hers, and what is left of his is also hers

[The Road Crew]

BoRED S2upid said:

Douglas Quaid said:

Have a joint bills account. Have everything go out of there. Split the cost.

Problem solved.

This. You need £800 a month to cover everything that’s £400 each. Job done.

We split ours on a % basis, I earn twice what the Mrs does so I pay more in each month.
I'm happy to do that because if we went 50/50 she'd be skint at the end of each month and I don't want her to be.

[BoRED S2upid]

Octoposse said:

BoRED S2upid said:

Douglas Quaid said:

Have a joint bills account. Have everything go out of there. Split the cost.

Problem solved.

This. You need £800 a month to cover everything that’s £400 each. Job done.

Exactly - but “round up” so that you’ve also got a household emergencies float.

Indeed make it £500 each to give room for extras.


We do it the other way round keep our own pocket money and everything else goes in the joint account.

[A993LAD]

I've been with my wife nearly 30 years.

We have a joint account and responsibilities are split 50/50.

My role is to pay the money in.

Her role is to spend it.

I thought that's how it works I just copied what my father did.

[BoRED S2upid]

A993LAD said:

I've been with my wife nearly 30 years.

We have a joint account and responsibilities are split 50/50.

My role is to pay the money in.

Her role is to spend it.

I thought that's how it works I just copied what my father did.

That’s how it worked for the Victorian’s. Now the wives want careers and to earn as much as us men! Equal opportunities or something.

[RoadToad84]

Monkeylegend said:

The reality is what hers is hers, and what is left of his is also hers

This is why I'm reluctant to chuck it all in one pot and split it down the middle. I'm not going into it expecting to break up, but I'm aware that it's a possibility and things can get messy, so I'd like to protect my assets as much as possible.