The yooof of today
Discussion
siandcian said:
Bit of a rant and bit of an observation. I've got two boys from a previous relationship the oldest has just left school and is doing nothing but hanging round his mom's house getting up when he wants and then playing on his playstation. Thinks it's great that until now there 11weeks or so till he starts collage. My partner of 10 years has a daughter of same age and is also in the same mind set. My view is rewind 25years I left school and was in a full time job the following week and earning. My dad wouldn't allow me to hang around the house. I can't really push my son as he lives with his mom and if she allows him to spend all day in bed that's not my battle. Just seems today kids have no drive, no get up and go, no desire to earn money to buy that XR3i I had my mind set on when I turned 17.
Your parents wouldn't allow you to do what you are allowing your kids to do..... Insert slow clap here.Edited by siandcian on Friday 7th July 22:17
cerb4.5lee said:
It is a bit of a nightmare really. Teachers don't have any powers regarding discipline now(plus all they seem to want to do now is strike, so how is that setting an example?), so all the kids just think that they can do exactly what they want, and that just carries on in their home life I reckon.
I would've been booted out on my arse if I didn't get a job by my Dad when I left school. Whereas all we seem to do now is molly coddle kids. Granted we are in different times to when I left school though.
The issue is parents expect teachers to do the parenting for them. That isn’t their job. The examples and discipline should come from home first and foremost. I would've been booted out on my arse if I didn't get a job by my Dad when I left school. Whereas all we seem to do now is molly coddle kids. Granted we are in different times to when I left school though.
Not all kids
I have a 20 year old son, he has around 10 really good mates. Most left school at 16 and got apprenticeships or went to college. The remaining few left at 18 and got jobs
I also have a 17 year old son, again a sample of about 10. A couple left school and got apprenticeships. Most stayed on for A Levels and are looking at degree apprenticeships, a couple might go for Uni
You can file this one in the same place as ‘ kids don’t want learn to drive or buy a car’ that’s rubbish too and goes for both male and female
I have a 20 year old son, he has around 10 really good mates. Most left school at 16 and got apprenticeships or went to college. The remaining few left at 18 and got jobs
I also have a 17 year old son, again a sample of about 10. A couple left school and got apprenticeships. Most stayed on for A Levels and are looking at degree apprenticeships, a couple might go for Uni
You can file this one in the same place as ‘ kids don’t want learn to drive or buy a car’ that’s rubbish too and goes for both male and female
2 of my sons decided that after their As they didn’t want to go to uni, so I told them they had a months grace before they started paying board, so they needed to get a job.
A few years on and one is a procurement manager managing a team of 20 and the other owns his own successful business.
The problem’s not the kids, it’s weak parenting.
2x sons 20-23yrs plus all their close male cohorts; 4 did apprenticeships, 3 straight into basic work, 3 to Uni doing STEM subjects, one has written a book, one is profiting from nepotism. None laying about the house, although 3/4 still live at home, understandably with the price/earning dif nowadays.
My eldest started Uni, thought it was a con, left and did a vocational apprenticeship and now has a good 3 years experience behind him in the domain and is about to lead the team [due to dead mans shoes more than anything, but still], all his ex-cohorts at Uni are just emerging onto the market, indistinguishable one from the other.
My youngest left school early, before his Highers, did a chef's apprenticeship and is now in a really plum job due to hard work and nouse.
We completely supported all these critical point decisions, counterintuitive as they may have been. I've always joked with them that come 18 they'd be kicked out anyway because at that point they become parasitic, and always self-cautioned my advice with Jung's 'the biggest burden a child can bear is the unlived life of the parent' - I didn't care what they did, and really you can do pretty much anything in your early twenties and still recover to a better conventional position later on anyway. But feck off and do something - how can you not be excited by life at that age?
I'd bloody hate it if they were still hanging around like a bad smell though, I'd feel a failure myself and would fret about them too much. Parenting in a nutshell: 'It's your job to spend 18 years preparing them to f
k off.'
My eldest started Uni, thought it was a con, left and did a vocational apprenticeship and now has a good 3 years experience behind him in the domain and is about to lead the team [due to dead mans shoes more than anything, but still], all his ex-cohorts at Uni are just emerging onto the market, indistinguishable one from the other.
My youngest left school early, before his Highers, did a chef's apprenticeship and is now in a really plum job due to hard work and nouse.
We completely supported all these critical point decisions, counterintuitive as they may have been. I've always joked with them that come 18 they'd be kicked out anyway because at that point they become parasitic, and always self-cautioned my advice with Jung's 'the biggest burden a child can bear is the unlived life of the parent' - I didn't care what they did, and really you can do pretty much anything in your early twenties and still recover to a better conventional position later on anyway. But feck off and do something - how can you not be excited by life at that age?
I'd bloody hate it if they were still hanging around like a bad smell though, I'd feel a failure myself and would fret about them too much. Parenting in a nutshell: 'It's your job to spend 18 years preparing them to f
k off.'Mick Dastardly said:
2 of my sons decided that after their As they didn’t want to go to uni, so I told them they had a months grace before they started paying board, so they needed to get a job.
A few years on and one is a procurement manager managing a team of 20 and the other owns his own successful business.
The problem’s not the kids, it’s weak parenting.
99% agreed. A few years on and one is a procurement manager managing a team of 20 and the other owns his own successful business.
The problem’s not the kids, it’s weak parenting.
crankedup5 said:
Mick Dastardly said:
2 of my sons decided that after their As they didn’t want to go to uni, so I told them they had a months grace before they started paying board, so they needed to get a job.
A few years on and one is a procurement manager managing a team of 20 and the other owns his own successful business.
The problem’s not the kids, it’s weak parenting.
99% agreed. A few years on and one is a procurement manager managing a team of 20 and the other owns his own successful business.
The problem’s not the kids, it’s weak parenting.
Both of my daughters, now 24 and 30, were itching to get out to earn their own money as soon as they could, I remember my youngest applying for student jobs a month away from her 16th birthday as she wanted to get earning as soon as she legally could, there was zero push from either myself or the wife, she wanted it as did the eldest, both of them have been in some kind of employment since they have been 16 years old.
Both have been independent from a very young age, streetwise, confident, driven, obviously as their parents we have always been there for them with any support and help needed, but categorically we have never given them an easy ride or molly coddled them.
Parents hardly do any parenting anymore.
Wouldn't be surprised if the young adults of today continue to live at home well into their 30's/ early 40's. I've met quite a few of these people and it is very obvious that they still have their laundry done by their parents.
I also blame parents for the abysmal state of the dating market. Teach them how to take a proper dumping and move on with their lives. I'm still having stalker issues.
Wouldn't be surprised if the young adults of today continue to live at home well into their 30's/ early 40's. I've met quite a few of these people and it is very obvious that they still have their laundry done by their parents.
I also blame parents for the abysmal state of the dating market. Teach them how to take a proper dumping and move on with their lives. I'm still having stalker issues.
HTP99 said:
crankedup5 said:
Mick Dastardly said:
2 of my sons decided that after their As they didn’t want to go to uni, so I told them they had a months grace before they started paying board, so they needed to get a job.
A few years on and one is a procurement manager managing a team of 20 and the other owns his own successful business.
The problem’s not the kids, it’s weak parenting.
99% agreed. A few years on and one is a procurement manager managing a team of 20 and the other owns his own successful business.
The problem’s not the kids, it’s weak parenting.
Both of my daughters, now 24 and 30, were itching to get out to earn their own money as soon as they could, I remember my youngest applying for student jobs a month away from her 16th birthday as she wanted to get earning as soon as she legally could, there was zero push from either myself or the wife, she wanted it as did the eldest, both of them have been in some kind of employment since they have been 16 years old.
Both have been independent from a very young age, streetwise, confident, driven, obviously as their parents we have always been there for them with any support and help needed, but categorically we have never given them an easy ride or molly coddled them.
I've got an old friend who's been in and out of prison, bought his first car by nicking lawn mowers, a career criminal basically. But his parents are good people, not council house idiots, just decent law abiding lovely people.
Some lads I know from fairly rough backgrounds have become skilled tradesmen, with nice houses and good families of their own. Or just generally hard working people, getting by.
Kids have their own mind too, some will get mixed up with the wrong crowd or influences, which is way outside the parents ability to control.
The majority will have kids who have done reasonably well and think it's all down to them being great parents, but most kids will do well enough anyway, that's how our society is setup.
I dont have kids but most of my friends do - they are not teenagers yet but most of them are between say 5 and 10.
They are basically allowed to do what ever they want whenever they want.
They get a talking too every now and then which is like a meeting with HR.
Ok Amilliya-Lillie, let me read back over my notes from last months performance review.... Sooooo, you were deducted 1 star last month because you sh*t on the living room carpet but it was reported to me by your line manager, I mean mother, that earlier today you p*ssed on the dining table whilst dancing to Baby Shark. (kid : no I didnt). Well Amilliya-Lillie, we have video evidence because your line manager, I mean mother, was taking a video of your very pretty and cute dance so she could send it to all her friends and family on WhatsApp. P*ssing on furniture is against house rules, but just in case you were not aware here is a written warning and a copy of the house rules. Oh and ermm... we are... erm going to deduct you a star again... (Kid starts screaming) I mean half a star... yeah half.
I have seen these talks go on for half an hour. Its insane. Give the kid a slap and thats it, 3 seconds and its done. They know what the slap is for, you dont need to explain it with pie charts and venn diagrams. They are 8 years old. Short sharp shock and its over and they wont do it again. I can see these kids pushing the limits over and over and the issue in my eyes is the bad behaviour is becoming normalised and the really bad behaviour is dealt with so softly that it is repeated. The cycle then continues and gets worse and worse.
But, as I say, not my kids not my problem. Society is going to have some serious little 18 yo brats running about in 10 years time!!
They are basically allowed to do what ever they want whenever they want.
They get a talking too every now and then which is like a meeting with HR.
Ok Amilliya-Lillie, let me read back over my notes from last months performance review.... Sooooo, you were deducted 1 star last month because you sh*t on the living room carpet but it was reported to me by your line manager, I mean mother, that earlier today you p*ssed on the dining table whilst dancing to Baby Shark. (kid : no I didnt). Well Amilliya-Lillie, we have video evidence because your line manager, I mean mother, was taking a video of your very pretty and cute dance so she could send it to all her friends and family on WhatsApp. P*ssing on furniture is against house rules, but just in case you were not aware here is a written warning and a copy of the house rules. Oh and ermm... we are... erm going to deduct you a star again... (Kid starts screaming) I mean half a star... yeah half.
I have seen these talks go on for half an hour. Its insane. Give the kid a slap and thats it, 3 seconds and its done. They know what the slap is for, you dont need to explain it with pie charts and venn diagrams. They are 8 years old. Short sharp shock and its over and they wont do it again. I can see these kids pushing the limits over and over and the issue in my eyes is the bad behaviour is becoming normalised and the really bad behaviour is dealt with so softly that it is repeated. The cycle then continues and gets worse and worse.
But, as I say, not my kids not my problem. Society is going to have some serious little 18 yo brats running about in 10 years time!!
GilletteFan said:
Parents hardly do any parenting anymore.
Wouldn't be surprised if the young adults of today continue to live at home well into their 30's/ early 40's. I've met quite a few of these people and it is very obvious that they still have their laundry done by their parents.
I also blame parents for the abysmal state of the dating market. Teach them how to take a proper dumping and move on with their lives. I'm still having stalker issues.
I wonder why the parents of today are so bad at parenting? Perhaps their parents weren’t very good at teaching them. Wouldn't be surprised if the young adults of today continue to live at home well into their 30's/ early 40's. I've met quite a few of these people and it is very obvious that they still have their laundry done by their parents.
I also blame parents for the abysmal state of the dating market. Teach them how to take a proper dumping and move on with their lives. I'm still having stalker issues.
I blame the grandparents.
gotoPzero said:
I dont have kids but most of my friends do - they are not teenagers yet but most of them are between say 5 and 10.
They are basically allowed to do what ever they want whenever they want.
They get a talking too every now and then which is like a meeting with HR.
Ok Amilliya-Lillie, let me read back over my notes from last months performance review.... Sooooo, you were deducted 1 star last month because you sh*t on the living room carpet but it was reported to me by your line manager, I mean mother, that earlier today you p*ssed on the dining table whilst dancing to Baby Shark. (kid : no I didnt). Well Amilliya-Lillie, we have video evidence because your line manager, I mean mother, was taking a video of your very pretty and cute dance so she could send it to all her friends and family on WhatsApp. P*ssing on furniture is against house rules, but just in case you were not aware here is a written warning and a copy of the house rules. Oh and ermm... we are... erm going to deduct you a star again... (Kid starts screaming) I mean half a star... yeah half.
I have seen these talks go on for half an hour. Its insane. Give the kid a slap and thats it, 3 seconds and its done. They know what the slap is for, you dont need to explain it with pie charts and venn diagrams. They are 8 years old. Short sharp shock and its over and they wont do it again. I can see these kids pushing the limits over and over and the issue in my eyes is the bad behaviour is becoming normalised and the really bad behaviour is dealt with so softly that it is repeated. The cycle then continues and gets worse and worse.
But, as I say, not my kids not my problem. Society is going to have some serious little 18 yo brats running about in 10 years time!!
It’s just as well you don’t have kids then They are basically allowed to do what ever they want whenever they want.
They get a talking too every now and then which is like a meeting with HR.
Ok Amilliya-Lillie, let me read back over my notes from last months performance review.... Sooooo, you were deducted 1 star last month because you sh*t on the living room carpet but it was reported to me by your line manager, I mean mother, that earlier today you p*ssed on the dining table whilst dancing to Baby Shark. (kid : no I didnt). Well Amilliya-Lillie, we have video evidence because your line manager, I mean mother, was taking a video of your very pretty and cute dance so she could send it to all her friends and family on WhatsApp. P*ssing on furniture is against house rules, but just in case you were not aware here is a written warning and a copy of the house rules. Oh and ermm... we are... erm going to deduct you a star again... (Kid starts screaming) I mean half a star... yeah half.
I have seen these talks go on for half an hour. Its insane. Give the kid a slap and thats it, 3 seconds and its done. They know what the slap is for, you dont need to explain it with pie charts and venn diagrams. They are 8 years old. Short sharp shock and its over and they wont do it again. I can see these kids pushing the limits over and over and the issue in my eyes is the bad behaviour is becoming normalised and the really bad behaviour is dealt with so softly that it is repeated. The cycle then continues and gets worse and worse.
But, as I say, not my kids not my problem. Society is going to have some serious little 18 yo brats running about in 10 years time!!
Also what’s this obsession on PH with the word ’yoof’? I’ve never heard a person say that word, or ‘yoot’ which pops up on here sometimes.
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