Gifts for the powerfully built Director who has everything
Discussion
I find one of the joys of turning off all but essential cookies is that you get to see some of the weirdest things advertised on the Web, so I thought it might be entertaining to pull some of them together in a thread. 
I've just clicked on a Facebook ad for something called the Ridge Wallet for example.
I figure selling wallets has to be a pretty niche profession these days anyway when you can just bung pretty much any card into your e-wallet on your phone, but hey, if you don't want to spend the bargain basement price of £90+ on something that quite clearly costs at least 50p to make, that's okay, why not get a key ring! Starting at a mere £70, these have rounded edges guaranteed not to damage the cracker they probably come in, and according to the reviews, they make your keys so silent that your dogs won't even bark wildly at you when you come home!
You can even round out your look with a ring, which doesn't seem to actually do anything, but you'll be delighted to hear that each one comes with a silicone band so that "whether you're heading to the gym or just need something casual, it gives you optionality without compromising performance"!!! I just don't know how I've made it through life to this point with such compromised optionality???
It does of course come with the standard, not at all written by a Chinese marketing bod who just discovered ChatGPT customer testimonials which will fit in right at home in the lounge, such as...
So, what other bizarre crap that surely no sane person would ever actually buy have you seen?
I've just clicked on a Facebook ad for something called the Ridge Wallet for example.
I figure selling wallets has to be a pretty niche profession these days anyway when you can just bung pretty much any card into your e-wallet on your phone, but hey, if you don't want to spend the bargain basement price of £90+ on something that quite clearly costs at least 50p to make, that's okay, why not get a key ring! Starting at a mere £70, these have rounded edges guaranteed not to damage the cracker they probably come in, and according to the reviews, they make your keys so silent that your dogs won't even bark wildly at you when you come home!
You can even round out your look with a ring, which doesn't seem to actually do anything, but you'll be delighted to hear that each one comes with a silicone band so that "whether you're heading to the gym or just need something casual, it gives you optionality without compromising performance"!!! I just don't know how I've made it through life to this point with such compromised optionality???
It does of course come with the standard, not at all written by a Chinese marketing bod who just discovered ChatGPT customer testimonials which will fit in right at home in the lounge, such as...
Marco said:
FEELING PREPARED
“I couldn’t be happier with my decision to purchase it. High quality materials, great design and engineering and now I’m feeling prepared for anything that might come my way. Great addition to my daily carry.”
I think the question needs to be asked, people! Are you confident that your "daily carry" leaves you feeling prepared for anything that might come your way???“I couldn’t be happier with my decision to purchase it. High quality materials, great design and engineering and now I’m feeling prepared for anything that might come my way. Great addition to my daily carry.”
So, what other bizarre crap that surely no sane person would ever actually buy have you seen?
I think you’re comments are very childish. The Ridge wallet is a beautiful high grade product and combine it with the keycase and you have the ultimate organisation in your pocket.
I used to keep my cash and cards in my pocket and use an old key ring from Heineken. Now I’m a paragon of excellence.
I feel happier within my self and ladies love when I pull out my Burnt Damascus wallet and buy them a drink. After the wallet has done the talking and the bint is seduced, its time to drive her back to my penultimate penthouse flat in my Amg A Class. When I pull out my bascamp orange keycase and open the door with absolutely no jangling the tart is wetter than an otters pocket and I’m ready to smash another day.
I used to keep my cash and cards in my pocket and use an old key ring from Heineken. Now I’m a paragon of excellence.
I feel happier within my self and ladies love when I pull out my Burnt Damascus wallet and buy them a drink. After the wallet has done the talking and the bint is seduced, its time to drive her back to my penultimate penthouse flat in my Amg A Class. When I pull out my bascamp orange keycase and open the door with absolutely no jangling the tart is wetter than an otters pocket and I’m ready to smash another day.
It's genuinely heartwarming to see that in a world full of advanced technology and countless luxury items, the key to happiness and success still boils down to... a wallet and a key ring? I mean, who would've thought! All these years, I've been heavily investing in personality development, and all I really needed was to splash out on a premium piece of leather and metal to elevate my status. Silly me! I've been missing out on this life hack. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to rethink all my life choices and buy myself some "premium" pocket candy. Maybe then, I'll be on the fast track to enlightenment
Pitre said:
No!That's not even remotely similar!!!
That's just a cheap knock off made from exactly the same materials in exactly the same factory at a tenth of the cost so that I can be smugly condescending about the poor little peasant trying to emulate his betters (aka me) like a chimp trying to imitate its zookeeper, probably before ripping said zookeeper's arm off to bludgeon him to death with it!
Not at ALL the same, see?
This is the sort of nonsense touted as 'Every Day Carry', where people out do each other to carry around gadgets and knick-knacks to cope with situations that will never occur or highly expensive solutions to basic problems (eg. waterproof paper and extra short USB cables).
You can cover 99% of unexpected situations by having a phone, credit card, Poundshop penknife, working pen (or pencil) and a USB cable in your work bag.
You can cover 99% of unexpected situations by having a phone, credit card, Poundshop penknife, working pen (or pencil) and a USB cable in your work bag.
FFS , 99% of situations and no carbon fibre ring ? Have a word with yourself.
https://ridgewallet.co.uk/products/carbon-fiber-3k...
https://ridgewallet.co.uk/products/carbon-fiber-3k...
Shambler said:
I think you’re comments are very childish. The Ridge wallet is a beautiful high grade product and combine it with the keycase and you have the ultimate organisation in your pocket.
I used to keep my cash and cards in my pocket and use an old key ring from Heineken. Now I’m a paragon of excellence.
I feel happier within my self and ladies love when I pull out my Burnt Damascus wallet and buy them a drink. After the wallet has done the talking and the bint is seduced, its time to drive her back to my penultimate penthouse flat in my Amg A Class. When I pull out my bascamp orange keycase and open the door with absolutely no jangling the tart is wetter than an otters pocket and I’m ready to smash another day.
I hope you had a session with the "Manscape" Brushcutter 3.0 to get the vegetation around the rockery neatened up for visitors.I used to keep my cash and cards in my pocket and use an old key ring from Heineken. Now I’m a paragon of excellence.
I feel happier within my self and ladies love when I pull out my Burnt Damascus wallet and buy them a drink. After the wallet has done the talking and the bint is seduced, its time to drive her back to my penultimate penthouse flat in my Amg A Class. When I pull out my bascamp orange keycase and open the door with absolutely no jangling the tart is wetter than an otters pocket and I’m ready to smash another day.
Ridge Wallets are awesome. My EDC loadout™ wouldn't be complete with one.
I pair my Forged Carbon Edition with my G-Shock Mudman, S&W 9mm (with 2 spare mags) in my quick-action waist holster, Leatherman Charge, Maglite ML300, Field Notes A6 notepad, ultralight ballpoint pen and 34 keys on a titanium carabiner every time I pop to the local shop.
With this I am always absolutely ready for any situation that may occur in the biscuit aisle of Tesco.
I pair my Forged Carbon Edition with my G-Shock Mudman, S&W 9mm (with 2 spare mags) in my quick-action waist holster, Leatherman Charge, Maglite ML300, Field Notes A6 notepad, ultralight ballpoint pen and 34 keys on a titanium carabiner every time I pop to the local shop.
With this I am always absolutely ready for any situation that may occur in the biscuit aisle of Tesco.
I do have a ridge wallet! I bouhgt an Amazon one first with the fake carbon fibre effect and it was faine to be honest but I wanted the burnt titanium look.
It's completely unnecessary I agree and in actual fact I rarely carry a wallet at all now, it's usually left in my car and I use my phone for all my payments etc.
I bouhgt it during lock down when I made a number of silly purchases out of boredom and having excess spare cash to spend, the Ridge Wallet was one of the cheaper ones and one of the purchases I still own from that period. I bought a Tag Heuer watch and sold it within 6 months losing around half it's value in the process.
It's completely unnecessary I agree and in actual fact I rarely carry a wallet at all now, it's usually left in my car and I use my phone for all my payments etc.
I bouhgt it during lock down when I made a number of silly purchases out of boredom and having excess spare cash to spend, the Ridge Wallet was one of the cheaper ones and one of the purchases I still own from that period. I bought a Tag Heuer watch and sold it within 6 months losing around half it's value in the process.
I got bought a similar item.
It's ok for cards. But if all I needed to carry was cards I'd just use my phone and dump a wallet sized lump from my pocket.
Pain for putting notes in and then when the notes get broken in to coins nowhere for them except loose in my pocket. So I'd need to buy a wallet for my cash..... Forget about business cards, the piece of paper I carry that my wife wrote me a message on years ago etc.
It's tat for whoppers.
It's ok for cards. But if all I needed to carry was cards I'd just use my phone and dump a wallet sized lump from my pocket.
Pain for putting notes in and then when the notes get broken in to coins nowhere for them except loose in my pocket. So I'd need to buy a wallet for my cash..... Forget about business cards, the piece of paper I carry that my wife wrote me a message on years ago etc.
It's tat for whoppers.
wildoliver said:
I got bought a similar item.
It's ok for cards. But if all I needed to carry was cards I'd just use my phone and dump a wallet sized lump from my pocket.
Pain for putting notes in and then when the notes get broken in to coins nowhere for them except loose in my pocket. So I'd need to buy a wallet for my cash..... Forget about business cards, the piece of paper I carry that my wife wrote me a message on years ago etc.
It's tat for whoppers.
Hahaha at the last line yes agreeIt's ok for cards. But if all I needed to carry was cards I'd just use my phone and dump a wallet sized lump from my pocket.
Pain for putting notes in and then when the notes get broken in to coins nowhere for them except loose in my pocket. So I'd need to buy a wallet for my cash..... Forget about business cards, the piece of paper I carry that my wife wrote me a message on years ago etc.
It's tat for whoppers.
Obviously you need to maintain your powerfully built physique but you're too executive to go to the gym as you have far too many high profile multi-national business developments in your 24/7 always-on VIP lifestyle. All of those business lunches that run on in to business strip club nights do take their toll on the temple though.
Arguably you could use the hotel gym, you could go for a run, but those are peasant activities for the beta sheep. What you need is a particularly thick rubber band with some plastic handles on for $299. Thanks to the advanced F1 inspired composite moulded handle with tactical thumb grip and carbon fibre patterned Extreme Performance band with Turbo Enhance fibre, with just 30 seconds of pushing and pulling a day you'll be the chiselled adonis you already are, but using less of your precious chargeable business time.
This is definitely all you need because it fits in to your hectic schedule, you can take it anywhere and use it anytime to further sculpt that rugged yet hairless physique that will have any species throwing themsleves at you just to be close to such perfection.
Just 30 seconds a day, anywhere, anytime, or, for the true leaders why not invest in the XL version for $349, guaranteed to provide the same benefits but in just 25 seconds a day. That's a return on investment of over $35,000 an hour, every single day.
Arguably you could use the hotel gym, you could go for a run, but those are peasant activities for the beta sheep. What you need is a particularly thick rubber band with some plastic handles on for $299. Thanks to the advanced F1 inspired composite moulded handle with tactical thumb grip and carbon fibre patterned Extreme Performance band with Turbo Enhance fibre, with just 30 seconds of pushing and pulling a day you'll be the chiselled adonis you already are, but using less of your precious chargeable business time.
This is definitely all you need because it fits in to your hectic schedule, you can take it anywhere and use it anytime to further sculpt that rugged yet hairless physique that will have any species throwing themsleves at you just to be close to such perfection.
Just 30 seconds a day, anywhere, anytime, or, for the true leaders why not invest in the XL version for $349, guaranteed to provide the same benefits but in just 25 seconds a day. That's a return on investment of over $35,000 an hour, every single day.
Gassing Station | The Lounge | Top of Page | What's New | My Stuff