Need some advice on tricky life situation
Discussion
I’m in a bit of a tough situation. I’ve worked non stop my whole life, but unfortunately was made redundant from a role I hadn’t been at long, and means I’m back on the job hunt. The fact that is proving difficult is another topic altogether, but I have financial responsibility for my kids as well as a couple loans etc that will start to back up very quickly if I can’t get something soon.
Outside of that my relationship with my gf has reached breaking point. We live together and things have fallen apart completely, and I’d take it on the chin and move out but I don’t have a job now, and most agencies want three months payslips etc, so I feel pretty much stuck.
If I took all of my savings and any other money I could beg, borrow or steal (joke) I could put a years rent together, but as far as I can tell that wouldn’t pass a agency check for renting, so I’m not sure what my options are or what to do.
I have my kids stay with me every other weekend so getting a room share would be a problem (plus I’m at an age where I can’t imagine doing that), and reconciliation with the gf unlikely.
Not sure whether to fight my corner and stay on the sofa here and put up with the inevitable deterioration of relations in the house, or try find someone who might take a years rent, or stop seeing my kids overnight and get a room share and put my furniture etc in storage, or if there’s any options I haven’t thought of.
Outside of that my relationship with my gf has reached breaking point. We live together and things have fallen apart completely, and I’d take it on the chin and move out but I don’t have a job now, and most agencies want three months payslips etc, so I feel pretty much stuck.
If I took all of my savings and any other money I could beg, borrow or steal (joke) I could put a years rent together, but as far as I can tell that wouldn’t pass a agency check for renting, so I’m not sure what my options are or what to do.
I have my kids stay with me every other weekend so getting a room share would be a problem (plus I’m at an age where I can’t imagine doing that), and reconciliation with the gf unlikely.
Not sure whether to fight my corner and stay on the sofa here and put up with the inevitable deterioration of relations in the house, or try find someone who might take a years rent, or stop seeing my kids overnight and get a room share and put my furniture etc in storage, or if there’s any options I haven’t thought of.
Go and have a chat with your local authority.
I have a friend who's 60 years old. For various reasons, all of his own making, he's in a pretty dire situation. Just in the process of divorcing his second wife and until recently has been sharing a room in a mate's house. Very limited income and little to no assets or cash reserves. However, he's just moved into a decent cabin type lodge on a farm (not a static caravan) with the assistance of the Local Authority. I believe they are covering 50% of the rent for six-months.
Good luck.
I have a friend who's 60 years old. For various reasons, all of his own making, he's in a pretty dire situation. Just in the process of divorcing his second wife and until recently has been sharing a room in a mate's house. Very limited income and little to no assets or cash reserves. However, he's just moved into a decent cabin type lodge on a farm (not a static caravan) with the assistance of the Local Authority. I believe they are covering 50% of the rent for six-months.
Good luck.
That's a tough situation indeed.
I'd probably look for a private rental - by pass the agencies - and offer 6 months rent up front.
Your best chance is finding out about it on the grapevine - do any of your family/friends know anyone who rents a property? (and they could put in a word for you).
I'd probably look for a private rental - by pass the agencies - and offer 6 months rent up front.
Your best chance is finding out about it on the grapevine - do any of your family/friends know anyone who rents a property? (and they could put in a word for you).
Misanthroper said:
I’m in a bit of a tough situation. I’ve worked non stop my whole life, but unfortunately was made redundant from a role I hadn’t been at long, and means I’m back on the job hunt. The fact that is proving difficult is another topic altogether, but I have financial responsibility for my kids as well as a couple loans etc that will start to back up very quickly if I can’t get something soon.
Outside of that my relationship with my gf has reached breaking point. We live together and things have fallen apart completely, and I’d take it on the chin and move out but I don’t have a job now, and most agencies want three months payslips etc, so I feel pretty much stuck.
If I took all of my savings and any other money I could beg, borrow or steal (joke) I could put a years rent together, but as far as I can tell that wouldn’t pass a agency check for renting, so I’m not sure what my options are or what to do.
I have my kids stay with me every other weekend so getting a room share would be a problem (plus I’m at an age where I can’t imagine doing that), and reconciliation with the gf unlikely.
Not sure whether to fight my corner and stay on the sofa here and put up with the inevitable deterioration of relations in the house, or try find someone who might take a years rent, or stop seeing my kids overnight and get a room share and put my furniture etc in storage, or if there’s any options I haven’t thought of.
We're missing a rather crucial bit of information. Who's house is it you are living in? If it's hers, fair enough but if it's jointly owned or rented, the easiest thing would be for her to move out surely? You don't mention her being made redundant so presumably no problem with payslips for her? Outside of that my relationship with my gf has reached breaking point. We live together and things have fallen apart completely, and I’d take it on the chin and move out but I don’t have a job now, and most agencies want three months payslips etc, so I feel pretty much stuck.
If I took all of my savings and any other money I could beg, borrow or steal (joke) I could put a years rent together, but as far as I can tell that wouldn’t pass a agency check for renting, so I’m not sure what my options are or what to do.
I have my kids stay with me every other weekend so getting a room share would be a problem (plus I’m at an age where I can’t imagine doing that), and reconciliation with the gf unlikely.
Not sure whether to fight my corner and stay on the sofa here and put up with the inevitable deterioration of relations in the house, or try find someone who might take a years rent, or stop seeing my kids overnight and get a room share and put my furniture etc in storage, or if there’s any options I haven’t thought of.
Ari said:
Misanthroper said:
I’m in a bit of a tough situation. I’ve worked non stop my whole life, but unfortunately was made redundant from a role I hadn’t been at long, and means I’m back on the job hunt. The fact that is proving difficult is another topic altogether, but I have financial responsibility for my kids as well as a couple loans etc that will start to back up very quickly if I can’t get something soon.
Outside of that my relationship with my gf has reached breaking point. We live together and things have fallen apart completely, and I’d take it on the chin and move out but I don’t have a job now, and most agencies want three months payslips etc, so I feel pretty much stuck.
If I took all of my savings and any other money I could beg, borrow or steal (joke) I could put a years rent together, but as far as I can tell that wouldn’t pass a agency check for renting, so I’m not sure what my options are or what to do.
I have my kids stay with me every other weekend so getting a room share would be a problem (plus I’m at an age where I can’t imagine doing that), and reconciliation with the gf unlikely.
Not sure whether to fight my corner and stay on the sofa here and put up with the inevitable deterioration of relations in the house, or try find someone who might take a years rent, or stop seeing my kids overnight and get a room share and put my furniture etc in storage, or if there’s any options I haven’t thought of.
We're missing a rather crucial bit of information. Who's house is it you are living in? If it's hers, fair enough but if it's jointly owned or rented, the easiest thing would be for her to move out surely? You don't mention her being made redundant so presumably no problem with payslips for her? Outside of that my relationship with my gf has reached breaking point. We live together and things have fallen apart completely, and I’d take it on the chin and move out but I don’t have a job now, and most agencies want three months payslips etc, so I feel pretty much stuck.
If I took all of my savings and any other money I could beg, borrow or steal (joke) I could put a years rent together, but as far as I can tell that wouldn’t pass a agency check for renting, so I’m not sure what my options are or what to do.
I have my kids stay with me every other weekend so getting a room share would be a problem (plus I’m at an age where I can’t imagine doing that), and reconciliation with the gf unlikely.
Not sure whether to fight my corner and stay on the sofa here and put up with the inevitable deterioration of relations in the house, or try find someone who might take a years rent, or stop seeing my kids overnight and get a room share and put my furniture etc in storage, or if there’s any options I haven’t thought of.
Other than that, rather than seeing your current situation as a big mess, accept it's really a collection of small ones.
Personally:
Housing, sticking where you are is the lessor evil at the moment. Be honest with your GF, (could she not see it the same way as you) and tell her you're trying as hard as you can to find work, but until then you can't leave.
Debts - speak to StepChange if it's causing worry, but if you don't fancy they, speak to your creditors, tell them the situation. They are legally bound to help you when you face a "unexpected change in circumstances" in Banking Speak, don't burn through your savings paying them if you don't have to. You'll end up with an 'arrangement' marker on your CRA, it's a small blot and considered by many (including this former credit underwriter) almost positively - I'd rather lend to someone who will work with us in a crisis then bury their head until it's too late.
Work, sorry to hear it's tough. I don't have much of a feel for the job market, it seemed only a few months ago we had a massive skills/labour shortage, but I can see how that's changed. What else can anyone say but keep at it and good luck, something will come, it always does.
First - well done for reaching out.
Second - you can only tread water at the deep end for so long, before your legs get tired and you drown!
If it's time to get out, get out.
Third - friends or family an option?
Fourth - have you thought about carer, fella I knew in your position did this and loves it. Crap pay, but really enjoys making a difference!
Sorry a crap post, keep going, keep reaching out, work friends and family, they'll be happy to help!
Second - you can only tread water at the deep end for so long, before your legs get tired and you drown!
If it's time to get out, get out.
Third - friends or family an option?
Fourth - have you thought about carer, fella I knew in your position did this and loves it. Crap pay, but really enjoys making a difference!
Sorry a crap post, keep going, keep reaching out, work friends and family, they'll be happy to help!
Thanks for the response so far, she has her kids living here and it’s her parents house that we pay them rent for, so unfortunately no option of her doing the moving out.
I’ll kick off the conversation with the companies I have debt with, something I’m dreading as I’ve always been self sufficient and never needed that type of help before. It feels a bit like how many things can go wrong at once right now.
I’ll kick off the conversation with the companies I have debt with, something I’m dreading as I’ve always been self sufficient and never needed that type of help before. It feels a bit like how many things can go wrong at once right now.
Misanthroper said:
Thanks for the response so far, she has her kids living here and it’s her parents house that we pay them rent for, so unfortunately no option of her doing the moving out.
I’ll kick off the conversation with the companies I have debt with, something I’m dreading as I’ve always been self sufficient and never needed that type of help before. It feels a bit like how many things can go wrong at once right now.
See if your GF's parents will be guarantors for you. We take on riskier applicants if we know that there is a property owning guarantor behind them.I’ll kick off the conversation with the companies I have debt with, something I’m dreading as I’ve always been self sufficient and never needed that type of help before. It feels a bit like how many things can go wrong at once right now.
My sympathies, for all these difficult situations to come your way at the same must be very difficult, not sure that I could cope.
My only advice would be to divide the problems, sort what you can. If you can improve the situation with GF then do so, perhaps start with good communication in a calm manner.
Then deal with the employment issue, ask friends for help and advice and be prepared to do something different.
Best wishes
My only advice would be to divide the problems, sort what you can. If you can improve the situation with GF then do so, perhaps start with good communication in a calm manner.
Then deal with the employment issue, ask friends for help and advice and be prepared to do something different.
Best wishes
Sorry about your situation. hopefully you will get working again soon - what about Royal Mail/Hermes/Amazon/Evri over Christmas just to keep the £££ coming in? They will all be looking for drivers for the next 10-12 weeks?
Regarding your loans, get yourself onto Consumer Action Group for advice, i believe if you contact the companies you owe money to and explain the situation, they have to agree to whatever payment you can afford and freeze all interest as you are in a position of hardship, review in a year or whenever your circumstances change.
it is also worth sending a Subject Access Request to the companies you owe requesting a copy of the original CCA - if they do not provide you with that, then the loan is in dispute and not enforceable. (But best check/research on CAG beforehand - they were very helpful to me when i was in a pickle financially).
And to echo other posters - can your GF not move out - or can you maybe reach a point where you can live together separately until you get on your feet again?
Hope things improve.
Regarding your loans, get yourself onto Consumer Action Group for advice, i believe if you contact the companies you owe money to and explain the situation, they have to agree to whatever payment you can afford and freeze all interest as you are in a position of hardship, review in a year or whenever your circumstances change.
it is also worth sending a Subject Access Request to the companies you owe requesting a copy of the original CCA - if they do not provide you with that, then the loan is in dispute and not enforceable. (But best check/research on CAG beforehand - they were very helpful to me when i was in a pickle financially).
And to echo other posters - can your GF not move out - or can you maybe reach a point where you can live together separately until you get on your feet again?
Hope things improve.
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