Women going out on their own
Discussion
I'm not sure if this only applies to women because it there's risks for men too going out on their own but it's awful how fear of being attacked impacts people.
My sister in her late 50s just won't go out after dark now for fear of being assaulted.
She's never experienced being assaulted but hears of the odd occasions when it happens and it focuses her mind.
She's always enjoyed positive male interactions like wolf whistles and cheesy cheeky chat up lines so she's aware men notice her. But it's only recently I've found how much this fear of unwelcome approaches or attacks has impacted her and I feel it's awful for her.
If none of her friends want to go out, she ends up stuck at home with Netflix and a takeaway.
I think, how many others must feel like that when the reality is, being attacked is very unlikely.
My sister in her late 50s just won't go out after dark now for fear of being assaulted.
She's never experienced being assaulted but hears of the odd occasions when it happens and it focuses her mind.
She's always enjoyed positive male interactions like wolf whistles and cheesy cheeky chat up lines so she's aware men notice her. But it's only recently I've found how much this fear of unwelcome approaches or attacks has impacted her and I feel it's awful for her.
If none of her friends want to go out, she ends up stuck at home with Netflix and a takeaway.
I think, how many others must feel like that when the reality is, being attacked is very unlikely.
Very similar post very recently I think
Very sad if that is the case, obviously it depends on where you live but I’d imagine if you live somewhere that feels safe enough to go out after dark then it’s probably poorly lit and not worth going out.
I can’t imagine living somewhere like that tbh and very glad we don’t, warm evening walks at night where the vibe is friendly is one of our loves.
Very sad if that is the case, obviously it depends on where you live but I’d imagine if you live somewhere that feels safe enough to go out after dark then it’s probably poorly lit and not worth going out.
I can’t imagine living somewhere like that tbh and very glad we don’t, warm evening walks at night where the vibe is friendly is one of our loves.
My ex taught me a very important lesson over the years - world women live in, is completely different to ours and we are very oblivious to it.
We rarely get told about things that happen to them on a daily basis. Things that are just quietly accepted because they just really don't know any other way. We never really have to think for example which way to walk home from the station. Whether there are streetlights working, what could we use as a weapon out of the things we have with us.
We always think that sexual harassment happens in movies, or to some random strangers on the internet. Not to our wifes, girlfriends, sisters, daughters. And we always think our male friends would never do anything unpleasant to a woman. So we just live in this bubble of ignorance and not much changes for women.
Speak to your women, ask them to be honest. You'll be shocked.
We rarely get told about things that happen to them on a daily basis. Things that are just quietly accepted because they just really don't know any other way. We never really have to think for example which way to walk home from the station. Whether there are streetlights working, what could we use as a weapon out of the things we have with us.
We always think that sexual harassment happens in movies, or to some random strangers on the internet. Not to our wifes, girlfriends, sisters, daughters. And we always think our male friends would never do anything unpleasant to a woman. So we just live in this bubble of ignorance and not much changes for women.
Speak to your women, ask them to be honest. You'll be shocked.
Edited by mudnomad on Sunday 26th November 07:10
Except, statistically you are far more likely to be attacked as a young man, than an older lady. Perception vs reality. Strange world eh.
ONS said:
The year ending March 2022 Telephone-operated Crime Survey for England and Wales (TCSEW) showed that:
men were more likely to be victims of violent crime than women (2.2% of men compared with 1.6% of women); although this measure likely underestimates the number of female victims (see Section 10)
younger people aged 18 to 24 years (3%) and 25 to 34 years (2.9%) were more likely to be victims of violent crime than older people aged 65 to 74 years (0.6%) and 75 years and over (0.2%)
those living in the most deprived areas of England were more likely to be victims of violence with injury than those living in the least deprived areas (1.2%, compared with 0.5%); they were also more likely to be victims of stranger violence (2.2%, compared with 0.2%) (See our Nature of violent crime appendix tables for more information)
men were more likely to be victims of violent crime than women (2.2% of men compared with 1.6% of women); although this measure likely underestimates the number of female victims (see Section 10)
younger people aged 18 to 24 years (3%) and 25 to 34 years (2.9%) were more likely to be victims of violent crime than older people aged 65 to 74 years (0.6%) and 75 years and over (0.2%)
those living in the most deprived areas of England were more likely to be victims of violence with injury than those living in the least deprived areas (1.2%, compared with 0.5%); they were also more likely to be victims of stranger violence (2.2%, compared with 0.2%) (See our Nature of violent crime appendix tables for more information)
LimaDelta said:
Except, statistically you are far more likely to be attacked as a young man, than an older lady. Perception vs reality. Strange world eh.
Without looking it up, I would assume that women are statistically more likely to be victims of sexual assault? I would think that is more likely to be part of their anxiousness about it, rather than being beaten up. No?ONS said:
The year ending March 2022 Telephone-operated Crime Survey for England and Wales (TCSEW) showed that:
men were more likely to be victims of violent crime than women (2.2% of men compared with 1.6% of women); although this measure likely underestimates the number of female victims (see Section 10)
younger people aged 18 to 24 years (3%) and 25 to 34 years (2.9%) were more likely to be victims of violent crime than older people aged 65 to 74 years (0.6%) and 75 years and over (0.2%)
those living in the most deprived areas of England were more likely to be victims of violence with injury than those living in the least deprived areas (1.2%, compared with 0.5%); they were also more likely to be victims of stranger violence (2.2%, compared with 0.2%) (See our Nature of violent crime appendix tables for more information)
men were more likely to be victims of violent crime than women (2.2% of men compared with 1.6% of women); although this measure likely underestimates the number of female victims (see Section 10)
younger people aged 18 to 24 years (3%) and 25 to 34 years (2.9%) were more likely to be victims of violent crime than older people aged 65 to 74 years (0.6%) and 75 years and over (0.2%)
those living in the most deprived areas of England were more likely to be victims of violence with injury than those living in the least deprived areas (1.2%, compared with 0.5%); they were also more likely to be victims of stranger violence (2.2%, compared with 0.2%) (See our Nature of violent crime appendix tables for more information)
LimaDelta said:
Except, statistically you are far more likely to be attacked as a young man, than an older lady. Perception vs reality. Strange world eh.
I also wonder the impact on statistics from young males having a scuffle after closing time, few punches being thrown after school/college, gangs, general thuggery which women would also generally not be associated with to the same extent. ONS said:
The year ending March 2022 Telephone-operated Crime Survey for England and Wales (TCSEW) showed that:
men were more likely to be victims of violent crime than women (2.2% of men compared with 1.6% of women); although this measure likely underestimates the number of female victims (see Section 10)
younger people aged 18 to 24 years (3%) and 25 to 34 years (2.9%) were more likely to be victims of violent crime than older people aged 65 to 74 years (0.6%) and 75 years and over (0.2%)
those living in the most deprived areas of England were more likely to be victims of violence with injury than those living in the least deprived areas (1.2%, compared with 0.5%); they were also more likely to be victims of stranger violence (2.2%, compared with 0.2%) (See our Nature of violent crime appendix tables for more information)
men were more likely to be victims of violent crime than women (2.2% of men compared with 1.6% of women); although this measure likely underestimates the number of female victims (see Section 10)
younger people aged 18 to 24 years (3%) and 25 to 34 years (2.9%) were more likely to be victims of violent crime than older people aged 65 to 74 years (0.6%) and 75 years and over (0.2%)
those living in the most deprived areas of England were more likely to be victims of violence with injury than those living in the least deprived areas (1.2%, compared with 0.5%); they were also more likely to be victims of stranger violence (2.2%, compared with 0.2%) (See our Nature of violent crime appendix tables for more information)
The Rotrex Kid said:
Without looking it up, I would assume that women are statistically more likely to be victims of sexual assault? I would think that is more likely to be part of their anxiousness about it, rather than being beaten up. No?
Much more likelyONS said:
The Crime Survey for England and Wales (CSEW) provides the best measure of victimisation and estimated that 2.3% of adults (3.3% women and 1.2% men) aged 16 years and over were victims of sexual assault (including attempts) in the year ending March 2022
ONS said:
A total of 193,566 sexual offences were recorded by the police in England and Wales in the year ending March 2022, which is the highest level recorded. This was an increase of 30,322 compared with the year ending March 2020 and an increase of 45,731 from the previous year (Figure 3).
ONS said:
The police recorded 2.1 million instances of violence against the person offences in the year ending March 2022, an increase of 18% from 1.8 million in the year ending March 2021 (Appendix tables, year ending June 2022). Of these:
violence without injury accounted for 39% (811,798 offences)
violence with injury accounted for 27% (566,588 offences)
stalking and harassment accounted for 34% (719,458 offences)
death or serious injury – unlawful driving accounted for 0.04% (737 offences)
homicide accounted for 0.03% (709 offences)
But the offence itself is also a much less common one, and yes, I accept that the relative seriousness of the crimes are not equivalents.violence without injury accounted for 39% (811,798 offences)
violence with injury accounted for 27% (566,588 offences)
stalking and harassment accounted for 34% (719,458 offences)
death or serious injury – unlawful driving accounted for 0.04% (737 offences)
homicide accounted for 0.03% (709 offences)
LimaDelta said:
But the offence itself is also a much less common one, and yes, I accept that the relative seriousness of the crimes are not equivalents.
You're proving yourself wrong aren't you? 3.3% of women have suffered a sexual assault in the last year, 2.2% of men have been physical assaulted. Even in the younger group where physical assault is more likely that's 3%.mudnomad said:
My ex taught me a very important lesson over the years - world women live in, is completely different to ours and we are very oblivious to it.
We rarely get told about things that happen to them on a daily basis. Things that are just quietly accepted because they just really don't know any other way. We never really have to think for example which way to walk home from the station. Whether there are streetlights working, what could we use as a weapon out of the things we have with us.
We always think that sexual harassment happens in movies, or to some random strangers on the internet. Not to our wifes, girlfriends, sisters, daughters. And we always think our male friends would never do anything unpleasant to a woman. So we just live in this bubble of ignorance and not much changes for women.
Speak to your women, ask them to be honest. You'll be shocked.
I remember hearing this a few years ago on the topic of imagining how it feels to be a woman a lot of the time:We rarely get told about things that happen to them on a daily basis. Things that are just quietly accepted because they just really don't know any other way. We never really have to think for example which way to walk home from the station. Whether there are streetlights working, what could we use as a weapon out of the things we have with us.
We always think that sexual harassment happens in movies, or to some random strangers on the internet. Not to our wifes, girlfriends, sisters, daughters. And we always think our male friends would never do anything unpleasant to a woman. So we just live in this bubble of ignorance and not much changes for women.
Speak to your women, ask them to be honest. You'll be shocked.
Edited by mudnomad on Sunday 26th November 07:10
"Imagine you are in a locker room of an American Football Team. Each member of the team is gay and they all want to sleep with you"
Kind of puts things into perspective no?
People should read a few articles about a day in the life of a woman.
Little things men take for granted like not walking around wearing headphones or sitting on the bus or train reading a book we've absolutely no interest in just so we look "busy" in the hope that men won't try to talk to us.
Phoning people whenever we walk anywhere at night just so there's someone around "just in case".
Getting used to hearing "nice tits love" when you're about 13 or 14 etc.
These threads usually go downhill because a lot of men don't or won't get it and it soon turns into a bunch of whiny stuff about men being more likely to be victims of violence and how women should be grateful for the attention etc.
Little things men take for granted like not walking around wearing headphones or sitting on the bus or train reading a book we've absolutely no interest in just so we look "busy" in the hope that men won't try to talk to us.
Phoning people whenever we walk anywhere at night just so there's someone around "just in case".
Getting used to hearing "nice tits love" when you're about 13 or 14 etc.
These threads usually go downhill because a lot of men don't or won't get it and it soon turns into a bunch of whiny stuff about men being more likely to be victims of violence and how women should be grateful for the attention etc.
mudnomad said:
Stolen phone and a bloody nose leaves much less of an impact than a rape...
Pretty stupid comment. Have you ever been assaulted? I am very aware of being out alone as a bloke. I’ve been attacked once but chased a couple of times when I was younger. That was when I was young and working in a restaurant. I really hated having to make my way home late at night. Because I was so aware I am sure I managed to avoid (just) being put in hospital. I was not that far from my house. There were three young guys coming towards me. I instantly felt something was wrong, turned and ran. They chased me, shouting but fortunately I had enough of an advantage, having run early enough, that they couldn’t catch me and they gave up.
I really don’t like my daughter being out by herself at night, even though the city we live in is relatively safe. At least she doesn’t drink and is very aware of her surroundings.
Pistom said:
I'm not sure if this only applies to women because it there's risks for men too going out on their own but it's awful how fear of being attacked impacts people.
My sister in her late 50s just won't go out after dark now for fear of being assaulted.
She's never experienced being assaulted but hears of the odd occasions when it happens and it focuses her mind.
She's always enjoyed positive male interactions like wolf whistles and cheesy cheeky chat up lines so she's aware men notice her. But it's only recently I've found how much this fear of unwelcome approaches or attacks has impacted her and I feel it's awful for her.
If none of her friends want to go out, she ends up stuck at home with Netflix and a takeaway.
I think, how many others must feel like that when the reality is, being attacked is very unlikely.
Some people will tell you to move somewhere nice and safe like the countryside where everyone shares milk and produce.My sister in her late 50s just won't go out after dark now for fear of being assaulted.
She's never experienced being assaulted but hears of the odd occasions when it happens and it focuses her mind.
She's always enjoyed positive male interactions like wolf whistles and cheesy cheeky chat up lines so she's aware men notice her. But it's only recently I've found how much this fear of unwelcome approaches or attacks has impacted her and I feel it's awful for her.
If none of her friends want to go out, she ends up stuck at home with Netflix and a takeaway.
I think, how many others must feel like that when the reality is, being attacked is very unlikely.
Some people will tell you to move to the city where it's lit and policed (sic?).
Some people will tell you it's about clothes, attitude, confidence.
Ultimately, there are sharks in the water, and if you don't want to interact with sharks, you don't go swimming. Which is the awful truth. There are ways to mitigate the risk, it change how one feels about the risk of sharks. But they'll still be there.
The two best ways we've found for walking alone; have some self-defence training. No, it won't stop anything happening, but internal confidence goes a long way to how one feels about situations.
And have a dog.
Not because dogs are a defensive jinn amulet, but again, the belief in the companion goes a long way.
Ultimately, one can only hope to avoid sharks, while not being intimidated by their presence.
A brutal truth, that belies the reality of fearing being a statistic.
Stay safe out there. And lads, be mindful of being a shark.
mudnomad said:
My ex taught me a very important lesson over the years - world women live in, is completely different to ours and we are very oblivious to it.
We rarely get told about things that happen to them on a daily basis. Things that are just quietly accepted because they just really don't know any other way. We never really have to think for example which way to walk home from the station. Whether there are streetlights working, what could we use as a weapon out of the things we have with us.
We always think that sexual harassment happens in movies, or to some random strangers on the internet. Not to our wifes, girlfriends, sisters, daughters. And we always think our male friends would never do anything unpleasant to a woman. So we just live in this bubble of ignorance and not much changes for women.
Speak to your women, ask them to be honest. You'll be shocked.
Yes. When we lived in London my wife was regularly brushed against or just plain outright groped on the tube, sometimes on the way to work as well. We rarely get told about things that happen to them on a daily basis. Things that are just quietly accepted because they just really don't know any other way. We never really have to think for example which way to walk home from the station. Whether there are streetlights working, what could we use as a weapon out of the things we have with us.
We always think that sexual harassment happens in movies, or to some random strangers on the internet. Not to our wifes, girlfriends, sisters, daughters. And we always think our male friends would never do anything unpleasant to a woman. So we just live in this bubble of ignorance and not much changes for women.
Speak to your women, ask them to be honest. You'll be shocked.
Edited by mudnomad on Sunday 26th November 07:10
If her and her friend met up for a quick drink/chat again constant.
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