Things to say to the laptop geek in the coffee shop...
Discussion
So...
Everyone at the office is a bit bored today as its so quiet so we were thinking up hopefully funny things you could say to one of these people who sit in coffee shops with their laptops precociously open pretending to work while supping gingerbread lattes with a lentil quiche on the side.
You would walk up behind them, glance at their screen and say?
"My mum really needs to change her profile picture,"
"You spell jihad with a j,"
"Isn't that to ending to The Sixth Sense?"
"Hugh Jackman? With a melon?"
"That CV looks familiar.... Ah. Still not mentioning she's on a register I see,"
"Jimmy Saville was innocent .com?"
"Good idea but its been done mate, you can get them off eBay. Different colours and everything,"
"Make sure you get the batteries for that or your boyfriend won't be happy,"
"Have they turned the heat off at home?"
Anyone got any others?
Everyone at the office is a bit bored today as its so quiet so we were thinking up hopefully funny things you could say to one of these people who sit in coffee shops with their laptops precociously open pretending to work while supping gingerbread lattes with a lentil quiche on the side.
You would walk up behind them, glance at their screen and say?
"My mum really needs to change her profile picture,"
"You spell jihad with a j,"
"Isn't that to ending to The Sixth Sense?"
"Hugh Jackman? With a melon?"
"That CV looks familiar.... Ah. Still not mentioning she's on a register I see,"
"Jimmy Saville was innocent .com?"
"Good idea but its been done mate, you can get them off eBay. Different colours and everything,"
"Make sure you get the batteries for that or your boyfriend won't be happy,"
"Have they turned the heat off at home?"
Anyone got any others?
t.Not sure I understand this? What makes you think they arent working and what makes them being pretentious?
My colleagues and I regularly work from coffee shops, hotel lounges, etc. and its part of the whole WFA approach to having much better work/life balances. A number of coffee shops, bars, garden centres and pubs near me off 'specials' to people who choose to go and work from there, other than stable wifi that include drinks and food packages, keeping people sustained throughout their working day.
Sounds more like bitterness from people saddled to their offices to me.
My colleagues and I regularly work from coffee shops, hotel lounges, etc. and its part of the whole WFA approach to having much better work/life balances. A number of coffee shops, bars, garden centres and pubs near me off 'specials' to people who choose to go and work from there, other than stable wifi that include drinks and food packages, keeping people sustained throughout their working day.
Sounds more like bitterness from people saddled to their offices to me.
x5tuu said:
Sounds more like bitterness from people saddled to their offices to me.
Working from the empty office is bliss! Quicker internet connection than at home for downloading games/whatever on my PC, plus no one to chime in when the bluetooth speaker gets whacked up to full blast with NWA - "Is that really work appropriate..?" It is now. And the morning constitutional is no longer a case of vying for an empty stall, but taking your pick at leisure. No way i'd work in a bloody cafe or coffee shop with the associated thrum of drinks being made, people gasbagging about inane crap, babies screaming, sounds great fun...
The Hypno-Toad said:
So...
Everyone at the office is a bit bored today as its so quiet so we were thinking up hopefully funny things you could say to one of these people who sit in coffee shops with their laptops precociously open pretending to work while supping gingerbread lattes with a lentil quiche on the side.
You would walk up behind them, glance at their screen and say?
"My mum really needs to change her profile picture,"
"You spell jihad with a j,"
"Isn't that to ending to The Sixth Sense?"
"Hugh Jackman? With a melon?"
"That CV looks familiar.... Ah. Still not mentioning she's on a register I see,"
"Jimmy Saville was innocent .com?"
"Good idea but its been done mate, you can get them off eBay. Different colours and everything,"
"Make sure you get the batteries for that or your boyfriend won't be happy,"
"Have they turned the heat off at home?"
Anyone got any others?
Nowt as queer as folk is there, what odd office you must "work" in. Everyone at the office is a bit bored today as its so quiet so we were thinking up hopefully funny things you could say to one of these people who sit in coffee shops with their laptops precociously open pretending to work while supping gingerbread lattes with a lentil quiche on the side.
You would walk up behind them, glance at their screen and say?
"My mum really needs to change her profile picture,"
"You spell jihad with a j,"
"Isn't that to ending to The Sixth Sense?"
"Hugh Jackman? With a melon?"
"That CV looks familiar.... Ah. Still not mentioning she's on a register I see,"
"Jimmy Saville was innocent .com?"
"Good idea but its been done mate, you can get them off eBay. Different colours and everything,"
"Make sure you get the batteries for that or your boyfriend won't be happy,"
"Have they turned the heat off at home?"
Anyone got any others?
CKY said:
Working from the empty office is bliss! Quicker internet connection than at home for downloading games/whatever on my PC, plus no one to chime in when the bluetooth speaker gets whacked up to full blast with NWA - "Is that really work appropriate..?" It is now. And the morning constitutional is no longer a case of vying for an empty stall, but taking your pick at leisure.
No way i'd work in a bloody cafe or coffee shop with the associated thrum of drinks being made, people gasbagging about inane crap, babies screaming, sounds great fun...
Awesome for you. Personally, I would file yours with the notes on your profile, but to each their own.No way i'd work in a bloody cafe or coffee shop with the associated thrum of drinks being made, people gasbagging about inane crap, babies screaming, sounds great fun...
I meet up with a friend at a half way to us Starbucks, Many times we've arrived at times where its full of students studying/chatting, there has been no where to sit and chat as all the chairs are taken. Plus the majority are drinking just cups of water. Surprised they have not been booted out, only today we witnessed a job interview, it's a strange place to conduct interviews.
gtidriver said:
I meet up with a friend at a half way to us Starbucks…
…today we witnessed a job interview, it's a strange place to conduct interviews.
My boss does this at the preliminary stage.…today we witnessed a job interview, it's a strange place to conduct interviews.
Meets you literally half way.
It is actually not a bad idea because psychologically the candidate feels that it’s a chat rather than a test.
You also can escalate to a second interview if you want more information, sometimes this isn’t required.
It keeps it informal.
gtidriver said:
I meet up with a friend at a half way to us Starbucks, ... today we witnessed a job interview, it's a strange place to conduct interviews.
Was common pre-pandemic - In large secure companies guests have to be pre-booked so if not done a coffee shop interview may result, In smaller companies/co-sharing companies meeting rooms may be few and booked up.Post pandemic should just be a video call.
The Hypno-Toad said:
So...
Everyone at the office is a bit bored today as its so quiet so we were thinking up hopefully funny things you could say to one of these people who sit in coffee shops with their laptops precociously open pretending to work while supping gingerbread lattes with a lentil quiche on the side.
You would walk up behind them, glance at their screen and say?
"My mum really needs to change her profile picture,"
"You spell jihad with a j,"
"Isn't that to ending to The Sixth Sense?"
"Hugh Jackman? With a melon?"
"That CV looks familiar.... Ah. Still not mentioning she's on a register I see,"
"Jimmy Saville was innocent .com?"
"Good idea but its been done mate, you can get them off eBay. Different colours and everything,"
"Make sure you get the batteries for that or your boyfriend won't be happy,"
"Have they turned the heat off at home?"
Anyone got any others?
Everyone at the office is a bit bored today as its so quiet so we were thinking up hopefully funny things you could say to one of these people who sit in coffee shops with their laptops precociously open pretending to work while supping gingerbread lattes with a lentil quiche on the side.
You would walk up behind them, glance at their screen and say?
"My mum really needs to change her profile picture,"
"You spell jihad with a j,"
"Isn't that to ending to The Sixth Sense?"
"Hugh Jackman? With a melon?"
"That CV looks familiar.... Ah. Still not mentioning she's on a register I see,"
"Jimmy Saville was innocent .com?"
"Good idea but its been done mate, you can get them off eBay. Different colours and everything,"
"Make sure you get the batteries for that or your boyfriend won't be happy,"
"Have they turned the heat off at home?"
Anyone got any others?
hammo19 said:
I was in Soho Wednesday sat next to a laptop rider in Starbucks on a Zoom/Teams business call. It gave me a chance to play buzzword bingo and after 5 minutes I got all 4 corners.
Cross pollination
Strategically aligned
On the same page
Let’s wade in
What a corporate tw@t.
Are you the pot or the kettle?Cross pollination
Strategically aligned
On the same page
Let’s wade in
What a corporate tw@t.
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