Joint accounts - 50/50 or?
Discussion
Theres a thread in Finance about joint accounts and it got me thinking... what are peoples 'agreement' with their partner regarding bills and contributions?
A good friend of mine earns roughly 3x more than his gf (not married but been together 5+ years), and they both put the same amount into a joint account where all bills come out of. Fair or?
Wondered what the general consensus was? I think it would be interesting to see what people do, I think the younger generation may do a 50/50 split but the 'older' ones, inclined to contribute more than the better half (assuming they earn more).
Personally i am not at that stage yet but would want to do a 50/50 split. I earn more than my partner but she earns does earn an above UK average wage so am confident she wouldn't 'go without'.
A good friend of mine earns roughly 3x more than his gf (not married but been together 5+ years), and they both put the same amount into a joint account where all bills come out of. Fair or?
Wondered what the general consensus was? I think it would be interesting to see what people do, I think the younger generation may do a 50/50 split but the 'older' ones, inclined to contribute more than the better half (assuming they earn more).
Personally i am not at that stage yet but would want to do a 50/50 split. I earn more than my partner but she earns does earn an above UK average wage so am confident she wouldn't 'go without'.
When married I tended to pay the monthly bills, mortgage, cars and she paid for holidays, treats and kids hobbies - seemed to work based on earning % variances.
These days with a partner, everything is 50/50.
I've no interest in understanding her financial situation beyond "10 days skiing costs x therefore y each".
And I've equally no interest in her understanding my financial situation either.
These days with a partner, everything is 50/50.
I've no interest in understanding her financial situation beyond "10 days skiing costs x therefore y each".
And I've equally no interest in her understanding my financial situation either.
Tim330 said:
In our house its % of total take home pay. Eg if I earned £2000 per month and wife earned £1000 per month then she would pay 33% of the Mortgages & bills. She pays 100% for her clothes and other personal purchases as do I. This seems fair.
Same as us and works fairly well. We've had very few arguments or discussions about money.I've got a colleague who just has a joint account with his Wife and she actually messages him when we're away if he's spent some money (quite usual for one person to pick up the tab and claim back on expenses) and query why, who, when etc. f
k that.We've always had a joint account (and only a joint account other than savings) both salaries are paid in, mine is nearly 3x hers. All bills are paid from the joint account to.
We don't have her money and my money, we have our money. It's worked perfectly for 22 years. She doesn't use a credit card, doesn't run up debts anywhere.
It probably helps that my wife is incredibly good with money of course, and spends way less than she contributes on herself in the course of a month. We let each other know if there is any big spends coming up - she's going to the hairdresser for example.
It may not work for everyone - we both have friends who would never be able to manage such a scenario.
We don't have her money and my money, we have our money. It's worked perfectly for 22 years. She doesn't use a credit card, doesn't run up debts anywhere.
It probably helps that my wife is incredibly good with money of course, and spends way less than she contributes on herself in the course of a month. We let each other know if there is any big spends coming up - she's going to the hairdresser for example.
It may not work for everyone - we both have friends who would never be able to manage such a scenario.
We got a joint account and 50/50 after we got bored of a running tally on a spreadsheet of shared costs. But then we were earning very similar amounts. At some point between getting married and having kids we just flipped to salaries into joint account, and take out an equal "fun money" amount into personal accounts each month.
It's tricky when there's a big disparity. If the higher earner is happy with spending at the level of the lower one (on meals out, holidays, etc) then that works. If it doesn't then it needs to be scaled somehow by income. Once you're married and certainly once you have kids then it's really a shared pot.
Ultimately you need to set expectations and decide together. There was a good article from the YNAB budgeting software people that talks about there being three sets of priorities as a couple: yours, mine, ours. Can't find the original but this covers a lot of it: https://www.ynab.com/guide/budgeting-as-a-couple
It's tricky when there's a big disparity. If the higher earner is happy with spending at the level of the lower one (on meals out, holidays, etc) then that works. If it doesn't then it needs to be scaled somehow by income. Once you're married and certainly once you have kids then it's really a shared pot.
Ultimately you need to set expectations and decide together. There was a good article from the YNAB budgeting software people that talks about there being three sets of priorities as a couple: yours, mine, ours. Can't find the original but this covers a lot of it: https://www.ynab.com/guide/budgeting-as-a-couple
You'd think it would be easy, wouldn't you? But I don't know a single couple who don't have a surprisingly complex set-up for this!
Ours has evolved, originally, we had a joint account and we each paid in a proportional amount to cover rent & bills. This ended because my Wife can't budget, and she'd never have any money for food shopping after about 5 days of being paid...
So, we included shopping money, proportionally again, and that worked out okay for a bit. I'd get pissed off that I always had to pay the bill when we went out, or for holidays etc, but I always earned a lot more than she did and I don't covet shiny things generally.
Then we had kids, I budget carefully so when I'd get home from work and be told "oh, I spent £300 on clothes for the kids, you owe me £150" I'd lose my mind, but by then we were a family and I bought into the whole "happy wife, happy life thing" and we went the whole hog, joint account, one pot etc. This was a disaster, because as I told her at the time, she is magnetically opposed to money. I'd be worried about paying bills and feeding ourselves only to discover she'd spent far too much on cocktails, clothes and other crap. a stress induced bout of pneumonia and a short hospital stay later, I realised it was time to make big changes.
So, version 3.0 a joint account for daily spending and a second account for bills and food shopping, I told myself I don't really care about things (I honestly don't) as long as I don't have to worry about bills and shopping, and this was okay for a short while, but eventually it was a major contributing factor to 'the year of hell' and nearly coming to an end. I don't care how content you are, how much you love your family or whatever else, if you're living like a monk in old clothes and not doing much, and you still haven't got any spare money and you can't bear to look at the bank because you know it's nothing but Starbucks, M&S and whatever else, you'd going to lose it.
So, version 4.0, an account for bills, an account for normal spending AND a separate account each for pocket money. £500 a month, so I can spend what I like on my bikes, holidays with my mates, clothes. It's a good system because I know my Wife and Kids aren't going without, the bills are paid, and I don't have to worry much.
What I would say though, it really doesn't matter how you do it, all in one pot, completely separate or anywhere in between, it doesn't matter one bit unless you're on the same page (at least mostly). My Wife understands the things that cause me to worry / stress, and what I consider fair, equally I understand hers. We still argue a bit, for example, she thinks shoes she wears to work, aren't 'fun' so should come out of family money, I think she's clearly mad, especially as she wears them everywhere. I 'lost' that one, but I don't care really.
Ours has evolved, originally, we had a joint account and we each paid in a proportional amount to cover rent & bills. This ended because my Wife can't budget, and she'd never have any money for food shopping after about 5 days of being paid...
So, we included shopping money, proportionally again, and that worked out okay for a bit. I'd get pissed off that I always had to pay the bill when we went out, or for holidays etc, but I always earned a lot more than she did and I don't covet shiny things generally.
Then we had kids, I budget carefully so when I'd get home from work and be told "oh, I spent £300 on clothes for the kids, you owe me £150" I'd lose my mind, but by then we were a family and I bought into the whole "happy wife, happy life thing" and we went the whole hog, joint account, one pot etc. This was a disaster, because as I told her at the time, she is magnetically opposed to money. I'd be worried about paying bills and feeding ourselves only to discover she'd spent far too much on cocktails, clothes and other crap. a stress induced bout of pneumonia and a short hospital stay later, I realised it was time to make big changes.
So, version 3.0 a joint account for daily spending and a second account for bills and food shopping, I told myself I don't really care about things (I honestly don't) as long as I don't have to worry about bills and shopping, and this was okay for a short while, but eventually it was a major contributing factor to 'the year of hell' and nearly coming to an end. I don't care how content you are, how much you love your family or whatever else, if you're living like a monk in old clothes and not doing much, and you still haven't got any spare money and you can't bear to look at the bank because you know it's nothing but Starbucks, M&S and whatever else, you'd going to lose it.
So, version 4.0, an account for bills, an account for normal spending AND a separate account each for pocket money. £500 a month, so I can spend what I like on my bikes, holidays with my mates, clothes. It's a good system because I know my Wife and Kids aren't going without, the bills are paid, and I don't have to worry much.
What I would say though, it really doesn't matter how you do it, all in one pot, completely separate or anywhere in between, it doesn't matter one bit unless you're on the same page (at least mostly). My Wife understands the things that cause me to worry / stress, and what I consider fair, equally I understand hers. We still argue a bit, for example, she thinks shoes she wears to work, aren't 'fun' so should come out of family money, I think she's clearly mad, especially as she wears them everywhere. I 'lost' that one, but I don't care really.
We've always split the bills and food shopping 50/50. For the majority of our time together, I've probably earned slightly more than her but there's been periods where it's changed around. Normally the one thats earning more will cover things ad hoc so if there's some larger bill or expense needed, few nights out etc we'll cover it.
The rest of our money is our own and we keep it separate. We transfer the agreed amount into the joint accounts every month and that's it. That way there's never any issue with either of us spending money on whatever we want for ourselves. Our bonuses are kept separate as well, again we'll usually treat the other to something come bonus payday or go out to eat.
It should be said that we don't have any kids which is probably a big aspect for those who pool their incomes.
The rest of our money is our own and we keep it separate. We transfer the agreed amount into the joint accounts every month and that's it. That way there's never any issue with either of us spending money on whatever we want for ourselves. Our bonuses are kept separate as well, again we'll usually treat the other to something come bonus payday or go out to eat.
It should be said that we don't have any kids which is probably a big aspect for those who pool their incomes.
For us.
A joint account works good.
I put everything in, pay my CC, and keep about £50
My pension also goes in.
Her puts all hers in, her pays her CC, and keeps about £50
No big bills.
Biggest outgoing is £250 for council tax.
Just before end of month, all spare joint a/c money buys bonds.
Her earns double my salary.
Live on trust.
A joint account works good.
I put everything in, pay my CC, and keep about £50
My pension also goes in.
Her puts all hers in, her pays her CC, and keeps about £50
No big bills.
Biggest outgoing is £250 for council tax.
Just before end of month, all spare joint a/c money buys bonds.
Her earns double my salary.
Live on trust.
We worked out all our bills petrol,food,gas,electric,council tax mortgage water etc. Then I pay 2/3 into a joint account and she pays 1/3.
Anything "big" that comes up car mot, insurance etc we split separately 50/50 outside of what we put into the joint. The rest is our own money to do whatever with.
Anything "big" that comes up car mot, insurance etc we split separately 50/50 outside of what we put into the joint. The rest is our own money to do whatever with.
RayDonovan said:
Tim330 said:
In our house its % of total take home pay. Eg if I earned £2000 per month and wife earned £1000 per month then she would pay 33% of the Mortgages & bills. She pays 100% for her clothes and other personal purchases as do I. This seems fair.
Same as us and works fairly well. We've had very few arguments or discussions about money.
RicksAlfas said:
We're old fashioned. Since the day we were married it all goes in one pot.
Same, there's no concept of my money/your money etc, but then I have been with my wife since we were teenagers with no money. I guess if you meet someone later in life and either side has significant assets then it would be a trickier issue.Gassing Station | The Lounge | Top of Page | What's New | My Stuff