Wedding costs and cohabitation
Discussion
This was prompted by reading another thread in which the OP talked about down sizing cars to save up for a wedding, I was going to suggest weddings are …… but then thought the better of it, as that was not the OP’s question.
This got me thinking, how expensive is a wedding in the UK, the internet suggests around £18,400, to me that sounds rather expensive. However, a search reveals, that’s about average for Southern/Western Europe. India is a lot more expensive (not surprising) and America, where the average is $30,000.
Has the cost of a wedding, led to more people cohabitating? For the average couple, £18,400 is not an insignificant amount of money. What are your opinions/experiences?
This is not an anti marriage/divorce thread; please don’t turn it into one.
This got me thinking, how expensive is a wedding in the UK, the internet suggests around £18,400, to me that sounds rather expensive. However, a search reveals, that’s about average for Southern/Western Europe. India is a lot more expensive (not surprising) and America, where the average is $30,000.
Has the cost of a wedding, led to more people cohabitating? For the average couple, £18,400 is not an insignificant amount of money. What are your opinions/experiences?
This is not an anti marriage/divorce thread; please don’t turn it into one.
daqinggregg said:
This was prompted by reading another thread in which the OP talked about down sizing cars to save up for a wedding, I was going to suggest weddings are …… but then thought the better of it, as that was not the OP’s question.
This got me thinking, how expensive is a wedding in the UK, the internet suggests around £18,400, to me that sounds rather expensive. However, a search reveals, that’s about average for Southern/Western Europe. India is a lot more expensive (not surprising) and America, where the average is $30,000.
Has the cost of a wedding, led to more people cohabitating? For the average couple, £18,400 is not an insignificant amount of money. What are your opinions/experiences?
This is not an anti marriage/divorce thread; please don’t turn it into one.
People often correlate "getting married" with "having a massive wedding". They are not the same thing, many people (myself included) are very happy with a registry office marriage ceremony and a day/night down the local pub or village hall after. Or indeed not having much of a party at all - a good friend of mine had a meal in a restaurant (8 people total) and has gone on to have a long and successful marriage (29 years and counting, 4 kids).This got me thinking, how expensive is a wedding in the UK, the internet suggests around £18,400, to me that sounds rather expensive. However, a search reveals, that’s about average for Southern/Western Europe. India is a lot more expensive (not surprising) and America, where the average is $30,000.
Has the cost of a wedding, led to more people cohabitating? For the average couple, £18,400 is not an insignificant amount of money. What are your opinions/experiences?
This is not an anti marriage/divorce thread; please don’t turn it into one.
I think the rise in cohabiting might be more related to the more transient nature of society, which leads to more separations/divorces, hence more people are reluctant to enter a strong legal arrangement these days.
Be curious to see the spread in prices.
I’m guessing a registry wedding with a pub afterwards would be a lot cheaper than the 18k you suggest.
Having said that if you go to a venue and agonize over what colour chairs you want then I’d guess that the cost would be a lot more than 18k…..
It is a silly business but I guess people just get carried away.
I’m guessing a registry wedding with a pub afterwards would be a lot cheaper than the 18k you suggest.
Having said that if you go to a venue and agonize over what colour chairs you want then I’d guess that the cost would be a lot more than 18k…..
It is a silly business but I guess people just get carried away.
I've been with my mrs for ages. We've got a young son and plan to have another child soon. Neither of us particularly feel the need to get married despite people asking us about it all the time. Cost is a consideration, but neither of us particularly like being in the limelight and would just feel a bit awkward about it all too.
tegwin said:
Be curious to see the spread in prices.
I’m guessing a registry wedding with a pub afterwards would be a lot cheaper than the 18k you suggest.
We got hitched in a registry office, and got two supermarket checkout ladies to witness (gave them £10 each), we then went to the pub and had a pie and a pint. Twas a great day.I’m guessing a registry wedding with a pub afterwards would be a lot cheaper than the 18k you suggest.
Total cost about £80.
The money we saved went towards a new Aston Martin, which we got two weeks later. (New wife's name on the car!)
Edited by GetCarter on Wednesday 24th January 08:47
How long is a piece of string? Neither of us could see the point in spending five figures on a glorified party so we just went to the registry office with our immediate families and then for a meal at a decent restaurant. The total cost was can't have been much more than £1k, maybe £2k if you include the cost of the rings.
Ultimately a wedding costs £200 or whatever the registry office fee is (it seems to vary by region). Anything else is simply an excuse to throw money away on a big party and some fancy clothes and jewelry.
Ultimately a wedding costs £200 or whatever the registry office fee is (it seems to vary by region). Anything else is simply an excuse to throw money away on a big party and some fancy clothes and jewelry.
Edited by kambites on Wednesday 24th January 08:59
Currently looking at venues. It depends on what you want but in the south west 18k doesn’t get you much.
An example of a quote from yesterday at a mid range place.
Canapés £11 pp
3 course food £48pp
Drinks package(bottle of peroni, glass of perseco and 2 glasses wine £26pp
Evening food £18.50pp
Room hire £3200
Council registrar £650 ish
Then you have to get decoration and an entertainment on top of that.
That’s before hotel costs and dresses etc.
An example of a quote from yesterday at a mid range place.
Canapés £11 pp
3 course food £48pp
Drinks package(bottle of peroni, glass of perseco and 2 glasses wine £26pp
Evening food £18.50pp
Room hire £3200
Council registrar £650 ish
Then you have to get decoration and an entertainment on top of that.
That’s before hotel costs and dresses etc.
And it's not just the actual wedding, but the stag/hen nights too. A friend of my son had a long weekend at an outdoor activity centre, while another had a trip to Las Vegas. But that's an expense for the wedding guests, not the bride and groom.
I met my mates at a pub, though we did get carried away with the excitement and ended up going to a club afterwards.
I met my mates at a pub, though we did get carried away with the excitement and ended up going to a club afterwards.
I think it depends what you want to do / include in the costs.
The rings and dress cost for one person would be the entire wedding cost for another!
We did a hotel in Cambridge for 110 people back in 2011. All in it was about 22K and the honeymoon was another 8K on top. That includes every single thing (excluding engagement ring).
(The do at the hotel was about £11k of that from memory)
The rings and dress cost for one person would be the entire wedding cost for another!
We did a hotel in Cambridge for 110 people back in 2011. All in it was about 22K and the honeymoon was another 8K on top. That includes every single thing (excluding engagement ring).
(The do at the hotel was about £11k of that from memory)
Edited by fat80b on Wednesday 24th January 08:57
GetCarter said:
We got hitched in a registry office, and got two supermarket checkout ladies to witness (gave them £10 each), we then went to the pub and had a pie and a pint. Twas a great day.
Total cost about £80.
The money we saved went towards a new Aston Martin, which we got two weeks later. (New wife's name on the car!)
Did you get rid of the plate?Total cost about £80.
The money we saved went towards a new Aston Martin, which we got two weeks later. (New wife's name on the car!)
Edited by GetCarter on Wednesday 24th January 08:47
Because both 10 NA and 1 ONA are on different vehicles.
When we were looking at venues for our wedding, we thought the price (generally including everything) was quite expensive - you soon realise that adding the word wedding to anything gives a licence to print money - so we decided to do everything ourselves to save a bit of cash (ha!). In the end, once we'd factored in venue (a barn), furniture, decorations and lighting, food (by far the most expensive bit), flowers, photographer, band, drinks, toilets (!), registrar, insurance, outfits for bride, bridesmaids etc. (except my suit, which we didn't include in our calculations because I can still wear it) and various other bits and pieces, it all came to......
£18,366!!! - almost bang average. This was coming up 9 years ago so I assume it would be a chunk more now.
We had a decent amount of help from my family, which I think is often the case these days. I didn't include the cost of my suit, the rings or the honeymoon which between them would have almost doubled the cost!
It was pretty stressful organising it all over about a six month period, but I'd probably do the same thing if was doing it now with hindsight. It was a special day and incredibly memorable.
I'm not surprised at that average price to be honest these days, some of the venues we looked at, some of which weren't even that special (like just a hotel somewhere) were upwards of £30 grand and that doesn't include some of the stuff listed above. There is also a fair degree of keeping up with the Jones' or even one-upmanship involved I suspect.
£18,366!!! - almost bang average. This was coming up 9 years ago so I assume it would be a chunk more now.
We had a decent amount of help from my family, which I think is often the case these days. I didn't include the cost of my suit, the rings or the honeymoon which between them would have almost doubled the cost!
It was pretty stressful organising it all over about a six month period, but I'd probably do the same thing if was doing it now with hindsight. It was a special day and incredibly memorable.
I'm not surprised at that average price to be honest these days, some of the venues we looked at, some of which weren't even that special (like just a hotel somewhere) were upwards of £30 grand and that doesn't include some of the stuff listed above. There is also a fair degree of keeping up with the Jones' or even one-upmanship involved I suspect.
18k is probably a bit low for the South East. As above Venue + Food + Drinks etc most packages were coming out at minimum 20k for a wedding party of around £100 guests. Food was the most expensive at around £70-100pp before canapes and drinks which amused me because the same meals on their non-wedding menu were often about 1/3 or 1/4 the price 
But back to the original point. We've cohabited for about 6-7 years now. Since finishing university we lived in a flat together and saved for about 5 years to buy the house. I told her we're not getting married until we've bought the house because I know how expensive weddings are and didnt want the deposit savings raided for a one day party. Anyways, we've been in our house about 18 months now and are getitng married in July
But back to the original point. We've cohabited for about 6-7 years now. Since finishing university we lived in a flat together and saved for about 5 years to buy the house. I told her we're not getting married until we've bought the house because I know how expensive weddings are and didnt want the deposit savings raided for a one day party. Anyways, we've been in our house about 18 months now and are getitng married in July
We're getting married in June.
We're just eloping to Cornwall and the wedding is at a castle where we're staying for a few days.
All in we're looking at probably £5k, including dress, rings, photographer, makeup etc.
Much cheaper and easier, no family to worry about, and I get a frikkin castle.
We're just eloping to Cornwall and the wedding is at a castle where we're staying for a few days.
All in we're looking at probably £5k, including dress, rings, photographer, makeup etc.
Much cheaper and easier, no family to worry about, and I get a frikkin castle.
I'm getting married in 9 weeks and we're currently in the process of paying all of our suppliers.
The reception (around 70 guests) is about £9,500. Flowers, venue dressing, suits, DJ, photographer etc, about another £3k more. A friend is making our cake and another has done all the invites and things like that.
Not cheap by any stretch of the imagination, and some days we wish we'd just organised a very small gathering and saved all the stress and expense, but I have no doubt it'll be a day to remember and one where I get to marry a truly amazing woman. In that sense, it's worth every penny!
The reception (around 70 guests) is about £9,500. Flowers, venue dressing, suits, DJ, photographer etc, about another £3k more. A friend is making our cake and another has done all the invites and things like that.
Not cheap by any stretch of the imagination, and some days we wish we'd just organised a very small gathering and saved all the stress and expense, but I have no doubt it'll be a day to remember and one where I get to marry a truly amazing woman. In that sense, it's worth every penny!
As someone has mentioned, wedding costs and marriage costs aren't the same.
My first marriage was an over the top affair that came to nearly £30k, absolute waste of money, thankfully I didn't have to pick up the full bill (I wouldn't even if I could have). Honeymoon was another £3k. Rings over £4k.
Second marriage cost less than a grand, just my wife, daughter and me, plus a couple of my wife's friends as witnesses. Including a week's holiday in Snowdonia. Bespoke handmade rings a few hundred quid.
The second wedding was nicer in every way.
My first marriage was an over the top affair that came to nearly £30k, absolute waste of money, thankfully I didn't have to pick up the full bill (I wouldn't even if I could have). Honeymoon was another £3k. Rings over £4k.
Second marriage cost less than a grand, just my wife, daughter and me, plus a couple of my wife's friends as witnesses. Including a week's holiday in Snowdonia. Bespoke handmade rings a few hundred quid.
The second wedding was nicer in every way.
We kept things fairly informal but still made a day of it.
The better/bigger room in Bristol registry office.
Agreed private hire of a local restaurant for the afternoon.
Top floor of a bar for the evening.
35ish people for the day, 100+ for the evening and cost around £1500 all in - all food, lunch drinks, flowers, cake, dress, rings etc.
At the point in a couples life where you’re not generally at your earning potential and hitting big expenses - house, kids etc we didn’t see the need to cripple ourselves with debt.
All planned in under four weeks too!
The better/bigger room in Bristol registry office.
Agreed private hire of a local restaurant for the afternoon.
Top floor of a bar for the evening.
35ish people for the day, 100+ for the evening and cost around £1500 all in - all food, lunch drinks, flowers, cake, dress, rings etc.
At the point in a couples life where you’re not generally at your earning potential and hitting big expenses - house, kids etc we didn’t see the need to cripple ourselves with debt.
All planned in under four weeks too!
I got married in 2004, every single thing back then seemed to be "That's one thousand pounds"
A few candles and flowers dotted around the venue? "That's one thousand pounds"
A glass of champagne for each of your guests on arrival? "That's one thousand pounds"
A photographer to be with the bridal party as they get ready? "That's one thousand pounds"
A couple of cars to take the bridal party to the venue? "That's one thousand pounds"
A nibbles buffet in the evening, a few mini pizza's. chicken, etc? "That's one thousand pounds"
A wedding cake? "That's one thousand pounds"
Hire a few wedding suits for the day? "That's one thousand pounds"
A DJ who will simply plug his Apple laptop into the PA system and occasionally talk? "That's one thousand pounds"
A simple roast dinner for 100 people of whom you will never see the majority of them again? "That's five thousand pounds"
A bottle of red and white wine on each table? "That's one thousand pounds"
A dress that will be worn once and then stuffed in a cupboard with mud all over the hem? "That's MORE than one thousand pounds"
etc.
I assume you can double all those prices now.
However, it's when you get divorced you realise what real expense is!
A few candles and flowers dotted around the venue? "That's one thousand pounds"
A glass of champagne for each of your guests on arrival? "That's one thousand pounds"
A photographer to be with the bridal party as they get ready? "That's one thousand pounds"
A couple of cars to take the bridal party to the venue? "That's one thousand pounds"
A nibbles buffet in the evening, a few mini pizza's. chicken, etc? "That's one thousand pounds"
A wedding cake? "That's one thousand pounds"
Hire a few wedding suits for the day? "That's one thousand pounds"
A DJ who will simply plug his Apple laptop into the PA system and occasionally talk? "That's one thousand pounds"
A simple roast dinner for 100 people of whom you will never see the majority of them again? "That's five thousand pounds"
A bottle of red and white wine on each table? "That's one thousand pounds"
A dress that will be worn once and then stuffed in a cupboard with mud all over the hem? "That's MORE than one thousand pounds"
etc.
I assume you can double all those prices now.
However, it's when you get divorced you realise what real expense is!
We tried to save money by having it in my Parents garden, 160 people for the day, canapes and three course meal, band, massive marquee. we bought all the booze in france, 75 bottles of champagne, 150 bottles of wine and 600 cans of beer, and it pretty much all was drunk. Oh and it rained.
i don't recall how much it cost, but I recall we might as well have not bothered saving money.
i don't recall how much it cost, but I recall we might as well have not bothered saving money.
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