Facing your final years single?
Discussion
Thinking on from the how long do you want to live thread there were a few comments that made me feel this one was worth posting.
Those comments were about being single in your old age. This made me think I will probably be one of them. I don't have any fear of death, but I find myself thinking a lot about what if I get dementia and how will I have some reassurance I won't be scammed or have my money taken by the powers that be and get shoved into a sh*tty care home and forgotten until I die.
My dad is 80, I have a brother 3 years younger than me who lives the other side of the world, literally, and a nephew and that's it relatives-wise. My mother and her mother both got dementia so I saw how that goes.
I date but I am under no illusion I will find someone to end my days with. I can't wait to retire and fill my days til my hearts content. But the dementia what if does nag away at me.
I have half joked to friends nearby that if I dropped dead tomorrow it would probably be a week before anyone actually came round to see if I was ok!
Anyone else in a similar middle aged position?
Those comments were about being single in your old age. This made me think I will probably be one of them. I don't have any fear of death, but I find myself thinking a lot about what if I get dementia and how will I have some reassurance I won't be scammed or have my money taken by the powers that be and get shoved into a sh*tty care home and forgotten until I die.
My dad is 80, I have a brother 3 years younger than me who lives the other side of the world, literally, and a nephew and that's it relatives-wise. My mother and her mother both got dementia so I saw how that goes.
I date but I am under no illusion I will find someone to end my days with. I can't wait to retire and fill my days til my hearts content. But the dementia what if does nag away at me.
I have half joked to friends nearby that if I dropped dead tomorrow it would probably be a week before anyone actually came round to see if I was ok!
Anyone else in a similar middle aged position?
Yep, resigned to seeing out my days single. The whole 'Dying alone' thing has crossed my mind recently after my dad passed away late last year but I don't fear it at all. A big part of that is that a decade or so ago I nearly went after choking on some food, actually blacked out as the ambulance arrived so I know that for me it all goes dark and all the sensations just switch off. Very serene really so I only have to fear whatever pain comes before the last minute or so!
The issue of not being 'found' for a while is one I worry about though, not for me more for the poor soul who finds me. It can easily be a week or two between my contact with friends and family (outside of work stuff) and am regularly just going in little trips with no notice or anyone knowing where I've gone, I'm pretty much guaranteed to be one of those stories you hear of the body being discovered weeks or months later! But t then that's the fate of being a natural loner I suppose. Don't know why I worry though, I'll be dead.
The issue of not being 'found' for a while is one I worry about though, not for me more for the poor soul who finds me. It can easily be a week or two between my contact with friends and family (outside of work stuff) and am regularly just going in little trips with no notice or anyone knowing where I've gone, I'm pretty much guaranteed to be one of those stories you hear of the body being discovered weeks or months later! But t then that's the fate of being a natural loner I suppose. Don't know why I worry though, I'll be dead.
It’s a good one this, and perhaps it didn’t gain the traction deserved due to its late posting USA time, and then the day-time Lounge crew got into gear.
I’m a big loner myself , I have relationships but at arms length - just enough to get out of if I want / have too.
I was 51 last month and sure as s
t I won’t have another 51 years (both my parents died aged 59 a long time ago - so I’ve got family genes going against me.
My lifestyle isn’t as squeaky clean as it should be at my age, when I still think I’m still 18.
I put it down to this. I don’t think I’ll be skeletal when I’m discovered, if I go in my sleep, my neighbours are way too nosey and wondering if I left a will!!!! I haven’t.
I may end up in the Welshbeef thread?
‘Jim H hasn’t been posting - did he get banned?
But that could be months?
No, I leave my time stamp open on WhatsApp, I’ve got a lot of pals and I’m sure they’d notice I’d been missing a few days. One very good mate notices if I’ve been gone from one day! So I don’t think I’d get too decayed.
But I do think about it often. Ironically I visited a good friend of mine this morning for a catch up and chat. We were deeply into it, that chat and next thing there was this almighty crash and a bang.
A guy had gone down suddenly, he just collapsed and hit his head badly on the way down. It’s an open plan office, I didn’t know who it was my mate only knew him on first name terms. Luckily where we work there is a dedicated emergency service who came immediately to his support and he was whisked off - I hope he’s ok.
It’s a morbid subject really but it is worth consideration. You can go out like a bloody light unfortunately.
I just think when your number is up, it’s up.
And it ain’t like the lottery. And I think this thread does tie into the ‘how long do you want to live thread’ as the OP mentions.
Have a good weekend Gentlemen.
I’m a big loner myself , I have relationships but at arms length - just enough to get out of if I want / have too.
I was 51 last month and sure as s
t I won’t have another 51 years (both my parents died aged 59 a long time ago - so I’ve got family genes going against me.My lifestyle isn’t as squeaky clean as it should be at my age, when I still think I’m still 18.
I put it down to this. I don’t think I’ll be skeletal when I’m discovered, if I go in my sleep, my neighbours are way too nosey and wondering if I left a will!!!! I haven’t.
I may end up in the Welshbeef thread?
‘Jim H hasn’t been posting - did he get banned?
But that could be months?
No, I leave my time stamp open on WhatsApp, I’ve got a lot of pals and I’m sure they’d notice I’d been missing a few days. One very good mate notices if I’ve been gone from one day! So I don’t think I’d get too decayed.
But I do think about it often. Ironically I visited a good friend of mine this morning for a catch up and chat. We were deeply into it, that chat and next thing there was this almighty crash and a bang.
A guy had gone down suddenly, he just collapsed and hit his head badly on the way down. It’s an open plan office, I didn’t know who it was my mate only knew him on first name terms. Luckily where we work there is a dedicated emergency service who came immediately to his support and he was whisked off - I hope he’s ok.
It’s a morbid subject really but it is worth consideration. You can go out like a bloody light unfortunately.
I just think when your number is up, it’s up.
And it ain’t like the lottery. And I think this thread does tie into the ‘how long do you want to live thread’ as the OP mentions.
Have a good weekend Gentlemen.
I'm recently separated. I may date again but no way am I marrying or living with a woman again. I have kids so they will be around and hopefully don't move round the world. Ultimately I'll die alone and as someone else said it might be days before anyone notices.
There is a bit of dementia in the family and my Dad's worried. He still works at 71, doesn't need to financially but think he likes to keep his brain active.
As I said on the other thread I don't want to spend my final years pissing myself in some care home. Live a long healthy life and then drop dead instantly.
There is a bit of dementia in the family and my Dad's worried. He still works at 71, doesn't need to financially but think he likes to keep his brain active.
As I said on the other thread I don't want to spend my final years pissing myself in some care home. Live a long healthy life and then drop dead instantly.
I expect someone will find me rotted into the floor at some point - not for a while, hopefully. Most of my mates are quite a bit older than me, I don't see my neighbours all that often. Not looking good for my chances. I keep meaning to tidy up a bit. I try not to think about it too much, really, as there's pretty much nothing I can do about it.
I had a weird wobble when I was single & entered my 40’s thinking I might be on my own all my days, (have girlfriend now but will never have kids now - she does)
My family have all tended to have long life & my grandparents going was that 1st time I’d thought - “when I die who’d visit my grave, who would share my grave?”
I have a good relationship with my siblings & their kids, & the intention to leave them all some cash so fingers crossed they’ll raise a glass to me on my birthday if my current relationship does go tits up.
My family have all tended to have long life & my grandparents going was that 1st time I’d thought - “when I die who’d visit my grave, who would share my grave?”
I have a good relationship with my siblings & their kids, & the intention to leave them all some cash so fingers crossed they’ll raise a glass to me on my birthday if my current relationship does go tits up.
My uncle was widowed at age 73, he lived till he was 92.
sold his house when his wife died and moved to sheltered housing with a café or you and friends could cook together, and a huge lounge or he could be private in his one bedroom flat in the complex. Plenty of organised days out, cinema nights in the lounge and he made some good friends,
He was amazed that there was a large number of women of his age who wanted to share his bed, not really for sex ,just for company.
He was very happy, he was scared stiff about living on his own but loved every minute.
sold his house when his wife died and moved to sheltered housing with a café or you and friends could cook together, and a huge lounge or he could be private in his one bedroom flat in the complex. Plenty of organised days out, cinema nights in the lounge and he made some good friends,
He was amazed that there was a large number of women of his age who wanted to share his bed, not really for sex ,just for company.
He was very happy, he was scared stiff about living on his own but loved every minute.
E3134 said:
My uncle was widowed at age 73, he lived till he was 92.
sold his house when his wife died and moved to sheltered housing with a café or you and friends could cook together, and a huge lounge or he could be private in his one bedroom flat in the complex. Plenty of organised days out, cinema nights in the lounge and he made some good friends,
He was amazed that there was a large number of women of his age who wanted to share his bed, not really for sex ,just for company.
He was very happy, he was scared stiff about living on his own but loved every minute.
How does that work financially?sold his house when his wife died and moved to sheltered housing with a café or you and friends could cook together, and a huge lounge or he could be private in his one bedroom flat in the complex. Plenty of organised days out, cinema nights in the lounge and he made some good friends,
He was amazed that there was a large number of women of his age who wanted to share his bed, not really for sex ,just for company.
He was very happy, he was scared stiff about living on his own but loved every minute.
I thought they were rented and to be eligible you had to have little savings.
Are there developments you can buy into ?
Bluevanman said:
How does that work financially?
I thought they were rented and to be eligible you had to have little savings.
Are there developments you can buy into ?
We looked into this for my mum after my dad passed away and she viewed a property from this company I thought they were rented and to be eligible you had to have little savings.
Are there developments you can buy into ?
https://www.mccarthyandstone.co.uk/
She decided to stay alone in her home of 40 years instead but did like the idea of a ready made social life and owning a home without worrying about any maintenance etc
Bluevanman said:
E3134 said:
My uncle was widowed at age 73, he lived till he was 92.
sold his house when his wife died and moved to sheltered housing with a café or you and friends could cook together, and a huge lounge or he could be private in his one bedroom flat in the complex. Plenty of organised days out, cinema nights in the lounge and he made some good friends,
He was amazed that there was a large number of women of his age who wanted to share his bed, not really for sex ,just for company.
He was very happy, he was scared stiff about living on his own but loved every minute.
How does that work financially?sold his house when his wife died and moved to sheltered housing with a café or you and friends could cook together, and a huge lounge or he could be private in his one bedroom flat in the complex. Plenty of organised days out, cinema nights in the lounge and he made some good friends,
He was amazed that there was a large number of women of his age who wanted to share his bed, not really for sex ,just for company.
He was very happy, he was scared stiff about living on his own but loved every minute.
I thought they were rented and to be eligible you had to have little savings.
Are there developments you can buy into ?
Minimum age was 65, which was probably a good thing, he was in a home in Gateshead,
Have a look at the Anchor site if this appeals, he said it was the best decision for him but not everyone wants to live so close to others.
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