Exiting rows of seats

Exiting rows of seats

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Discussion

fourstardan

Original Poster:

5,491 posts

158 months

Friday 11th October 2024
quotequote all
I watched a football game tonight with my son and really had an interesting event happen.

My son's four and the game was cheap enough to not be concerned about wasting any money on it, I just wanted to see what he thought of it all. (Loved it btw).

Anyway, sat in the middle of the row I needed to get him out for a wee, it was at about 40 mins in the game, I got up, indicated I'd like to get out "something like can I get out mate" and I and took him down then brought him back.

By 85 minutes we'd had enough and decided to depart....I get up again say "excuse me can I get out"....bloke (with his lovely Glasgow smile on his face) next to me looks at me and says "aren't you going to say please this time like you didn't do the first time when you made me stand up in front of my family"....

I said "well I did say excuse me"....Anyway the conversation ended, we left and didn't get into what he probably wanted that was a fight of some sorts as it felt he was bullying me into that.

What happened here honestly as my head is completely scrambled, I've been on planes, concerts, football games, cinemas for years and generally any human would understand the situation of getting out with a few words or indication you wanted to leave. Has the world now changed where you have to beg someone to get out of a row?

Lost of London


MattsCar

1,657 posts

119 months

Friday 11th October 2024
quotequote all
No, he is just an idiot who probably thinks he's "well hard" In front of his wife and kids.

One day he will do it to someone who will cave his face in.

Get on with life and enjoy more great days out with your lad.

fourstardan

Original Poster:

5,491 posts

158 months

Friday 11th October 2024
quotequote all
MattsCar said:
No, he is just an idiot who probably thinks he's "well hard" In front of his wife and kids.

One day he will do it to someone who will cave his face in.

Get on with life and enjoy more great days out with your lad.
Well I did notice he had already had a glasgow smiler so it's probably already happened before.




QuickQuack

2,467 posts

115 months

Friday 11th October 2024
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He might be an arrogant idiot, but he's correct. Even if you said excuse me, your sentence should've finished with please. It's common courtesy. Excuse me is not the same expression as please, they have different meanings and functions. I never say excuse me with adding please to the end of the phrase.

I would've just sighed at your rudeness and stood up to let you pass, but I'm glad there are people who are prepared to call it out.

QuickQuack

2,467 posts

115 months

Friday 11th October 2024
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PS shouldn't this be in the Lounge?

E63eeeeee...

4,990 posts

63 months

Saturday 12th October 2024
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QuickQuack said:
He might be an arrogant idiot, but he's correct. Even if you said excuse me, your sentence should've finished with please. It's common courtesy. Excuse me is not the same expression as please, they have different meanings and functions. I never say excuse me with adding please to the end of the phrase.

I would've just sighed at your rudeness and stood up to let you pass, but I'm glad there are people who are prepared to call it out.
Nope. The please would be redundant, excuse me is perfectly fine. Even Debretts makes no recommendation to use them together, the term "excuse me please" doesn't appear on their website once. I wish there were fewer people who think their arbitrary ideas about behaviour should apply to other people. It's far ruder to make a fuss about something trivial when the other person has clearly made an effort to be polite in the first place. It's a fking football match, of all things, not the opera. You're lucky to get more than a nudge as someone stands up. And not being a dick to harassed parents comes pretty early in my social etiquette rules too.

Lo-Fi

960 posts

84 months

Saturday 12th October 2024
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Might be because you say "football game". He probably thinks you're American...

Doggleg

571 posts

180 months

Saturday 12th October 2024
quotequote all
QuickQuack said:
He might be an arrogant idiot, but he's correct. Even if you said excuse me, your sentence should've finished with please. It's common courtesy. Excuse me is not the same expression as please, they have different meanings and functions. I never say excuse me with adding please to the end of the phrase.

I would've just sighed at your rudeness and stood up to let you pass, but I'm glad there are people who are prepared to call it out.
thumbup

fourstardan

Original Poster:

5,491 posts

158 months

Saturday 12th October 2024
quotequote all
Lo-Fi said:
Might be because you say "football game". He probably thinks you're American...
Maybe I am?

fourstardan

Original Poster:

5,491 posts

158 months

Saturday 12th October 2024
quotequote all
E63eeeeee... said:
Nope. The please would be redundant, excuse me is perfectly fine. Even Debretts makes no recommendation to use them together, the term "excuse me please" doesn't appear on their website once. I wish there were fewer people who think their arbitrary ideas about behaviour should apply to other people. It's far ruder to make a fuss about something trivial when the other person has clearly made an effort to be polite in the first place. It's a fking football match, of all things, not the opera. You're lucky to get more than a nudge as someone stands up. And not being a dick to harassed parents comes pretty early in my social etiquette rules too.
This was what my conclusion was, I've been to a lot of football matches and this particular incident has never arisen. I posted as I just found it rather disturbing and a shock based on this sort of anger being present at a football match that was in the family stand.

I think I'll just put this to bed into the file of the bloke clearly had a chip on his shoulder and he'll get just deserves one day.



Louis Balfour

28,176 posts

236 months

Saturday 12th October 2024
quotequote all
fourstardan said:
I watched a football game tonight with my son and really had an interesting event happen.

My son's four and the game was cheap enough to not be concerned about wasting any money on it, I just wanted to see what he thought of it all. (Loved it btw).

Anyway, sat in the middle of the row I needed to get him out for a wee, it was at about 40 mins in the game, I got up, indicated I'd like to get out "something like can I get out mate" and I and took him down then brought him back.

By 85 minutes we'd had enough and decided to depart....I get up again say "excuse me can I get out"....bloke (with his lovely Glasgow smile on his face) next to me looks at me and says "aren't you going to say please this time like you didn't do the first time when you made me stand up in front of my family"....

I said "well I did say excuse me"....Anyway the conversation ended, we left and didn't get into what he probably wanted that was a fight of some sorts as it felt he was bullying me into that.

What happened here honestly as my head is completely scrambled, I've been on planes, concerts, football games, cinemas for years and generally any human would understand the situation of getting out with a few words or indication you wanted to leave. Has the world now changed where you have to beg someone to get out of a row?

Lost of London
If you've been to all these places and asked people to move without saying "please", it's surprising that someone hasn't previously taken you to task.

If you are asking other people to inconvenience themselves on your behalf, however trivially, saying please and thank you is the minimum requirement.

The other chap wasn't the problem here. Your poor manners, and then being hurt when reminded about them, were the problem and it doesn't set the best example to your child.

Well done to the man for standing up to you.




fourstardan

Original Poster:

5,491 posts

158 months

Sunday 13th October 2024
quotequote all
Louis Balfour said:
If you've been to all these places and asked people to move without saying "please", it's surprising that someone hasn't previously taken you to task.

If you are asking other people to inconvenience themselves on your behalf, however trivially, saying please and thank you is the minimum requirement.

The other chap wasn't the problem here. Your poor manners, and then being hurt when reminded about them, were the problem and it doesn't set the best example to your child.

Well done to the man for standing up to you.
Thanks for the tips Louis. Now get out my way and let me get off the row.

Edited by fourstardan on Sunday 13th October 10:37

Antony Moxey

9,571 posts

233 months

Sunday 13th October 2024
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Usually you don’t need to say anything. I’ve always found if you get up from your seat at the footy people automatically expect it’s because you want to get past so shuffle round in their seat to give you room. Very rarely have I ever said anything except a brief ‘thank you’ for letting me pass.

The bloke was a dick, others on here supporting him are bordering on being equally so.

InitialDave

13,102 posts

133 months

Sunday 13th October 2024
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"Excuse me" alone is perfectly polite, you're fine.

I'd be charitable and assume he didn't hear you fully.

Dr Murdoch

3,729 posts

149 months

Sunday 13th October 2024
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As long as you keep saying : 'thanks' and/or 'sorry' as you shuffle along then you're fine in my book. Like others have just mentioned, just standing and turning towards the aisle usually indicates a desire to leave.

Edited by Dr Murdoch on Sunday 13th October 11:23

Countdown

44,176 posts

210 months

Sunday 13th October 2024
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Maybe it's just me but "Excuse me" on its own can sometimes sound a bit entitled/passive aggressive. I'd also be adding in a please/thanks/sorry/cheers mate as I waddled along the line...

Rayny

1,613 posts

215 months

Sunday 13th October 2024
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You 'needed' to leave your seats just 5 minutes before half time, and again just 5 minutes before the end of the match - That is just rude, whatever you said to the people seated near to you.

essayer

10,132 posts

208 months

Sunday 13th October 2024
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Rayny said:
You 'needed' to leave your seats just 5 minutes before half time, and again just 5 minutes before the end of the match - That is just rude, whatever you said to the people seated near to you.
That’s the issue I reckon. You weren’t taking the game seriously enough, in his eyes. Completely understand your timings with the lad, but to a ‘keen supporter’ it would be an annoyance

Panamax

5,949 posts

48 months

Sunday 13th October 2024
quotequote all
Countdown said:
Maybe it's just me but "Excuse me" on its own can sometimes sound a bit entitled/passive aggressive.
Agreed. There are better ways.

Pitre

5,253 posts

248 months

Sunday 13th October 2024
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Rayny said:
You 'needed' to leave your seats just 5 minutes before half time, and again just 5 minutes before the end of the match - That is just rude, whatever you said to the people seated near to you.
This. If you're a regular supporter who happens to sit on the end of a row it's very frustrating to have 'tourist'/non-commited spectators keep interrupting your viewing a few minutes before either half-time or full time. This is a fact, but you can choose to do with it what you wish, including not giving any consideration to others who you're inconveniencing. "Please" costs nothing...