Am I divorced?

[Blackpuddin]

Back in the 1970s when I was a stupid young man I married someone in South London. If it matters, she was a non-UK citizen.
For reasons I won't bother going into, that marriage didn't last long (months rather than years). We split amicably enough and I seem to remember we got a divorce just to tidy things up but my memory is patchy at the best of times.
I'm now trying to marry the person I've been with for the last 25 years or so and that person has raised the fair point about whether I got a decree nisi back in those dafter times.
I honestly can't remember so I've started the process of trying to find out. I've taken out membership of Ancestry. After filling out my family tree they confirmed the date and place of my marriage but they don't seem to have any information on divorce records.
It looks like a Govt outpost in Bury St Edmunds handles divorce-related stuff but there's nothing on the website that I can see in the way of historical divorce records.
So my question is, does any PHer know where I might be able to find this sort of information?
Thanks in advance for any suggestions, comical or otherwise.

[Alorotom]

Silly question, is the former Mrs still alive? Kinda doesnt matter if not.

[Wills2]

You can apply online via this gov page, scroll to the bottom and click the link costs £65

https://www.gov.uk/copy-decree-absolute-final-orde...

[Blackpuddin]

Alorotom said:

Silly question, is the former Mrs still alive? Kinda doesnt matter if not.

Sadly I have no idea on that.

[Blackpuddin]

Wills2 said:

You can apply online via this gov page, scroll to the bottom and click the link costs £65

https://www.gov.uk/copy-decree-absolute-final-orde...

Yes I looked at that thanks Wills but that page presumes the divorce has already happened and I don't know whether it did or not. We're talking nearly fifty years ago here. I can't remember what I was doing fifty hours ago!

[Wills2]

Blackpuddin said:

Wills2 said:

You can apply online via this gov page, scroll to the bottom and click the link costs £65

https://www.gov.uk/copy-decree-absolute-final-orde...

Yes I looked at that thanks Wills but that page presumes the divorce has already happened and I don't know whether it did or not. We're talking nearly fifty years ago here. I can't remember what I was doing fifty hours ago!

Yes but just conduct the search under that premise then you'll find out either way, or have missed something (not for the first time) if there is no record you're not etc..

[Stick Legs]

IANAL but surely you can obtain some kind of legal writ to say if you haven't even seen someone for around 50 years that you are divorced, even if the answer is to go though the paperwork and file for divorce on the basis of desertion or whatever it's called.

The idea that someone's spouse could just walk off one day, never contact them again, and they remain legally married for 50 years is a bit crazy.

[P-Jay]

Wills2 said:

Blackpuddin said:

Wills2 said:

You can apply online via this gov page, scroll to the bottom and click the link costs £65

https://www.gov.uk/copy-decree-absolute-final-orde...

Yes I looked at that thanks Wills but that page presumes the divorce has already happened and I don't know whether it did or not. We're talking nearly fifty years ago here. I can't remember what I was doing fifty hours ago!

Yes but just conduct the search under that premise then you'll find out either way, or have missed something (not for the first time) if there is no record you're not etc..

Yeah that's a pretty reliable way of knowing for sure.

OP is in a kind of Schrodinger's marriage, he is both married and divorced depending on whether his memory that marriage was finalised is correct. If he does check the records for a copy of his Decree Absolute, he's opened the box.

Actually, I'm going to go out on a limb, I'd going to say that the OP believes he IS still legally married, but it's been a very long time and see no way of getting hold of the ex to get divorced. As there's no need for a 'marriage licence' in the UK and really no easy central database that ties all our birth, marriage, death certificates etc together. This means he can 'give notice' and assuming his long lost ex doesn't turn up when the person marrying them asks him to state "I declare that I know of no legal reason why I may not be joined in marriage..." he can get married with little risk of being accused of polygamy later on. It's just easier to ask "am I divorced" than "I'm married but I haven't spoken to them in nearly 50 years... Can I get away with it."

Anyway, I'm *mostly* joking around,

[P-Jay]

Stick Legs said:

IANAL but surely you can obtain some kind of legal writ to say if you haven't even seen someone for around 50 years that you are divorced, even if the answer is to go though the paperwork and file for divorce on the basis of desertion or whatever it's called.

The idea that someone's spouse could just walk off one day, never contact them again, and they remain legally married for 50 years is a bit crazy.

You can, it's sometimes called divorce in absentia, but these days just "Divorce or end a civil partnership if your partner is missing" It's expensive on course costs, about £1k all in, and it's not quick. It also relies on you sending a notice to the best address you can think of for them and hoping it's returned not opened, instead of being binned by whoever lives there now.

[Blackpuddin]

Yes as I understand it there’s no time limit where you can say you haven’t seen someone for x years so that’s a divorce innit.

[CoolHands]

Just get married and don’t worry about it.

[Fessia fancier]

Could doubt on the marriage point impact any will? I think a marriage kind of resets a will but if the marriage is invalid perhaps not
I wonder if it is best to make a will post new marriage if there is doubt about whether he is actually divorced ?
Just a thought and I don’t know about the legalities

[bigpriest]

Sounds like the 70's was fun! You best check, you may have been married several times and changed your name

[Inbox]

I think it is more the doubts the current partner has about the marriage that need resolving.

Doubt much else matters at the moment.

[Blackpuddin]

bigpriest said:

Sounds like the 70's was fun! You best check, you may have been married several times and changed your name

Ha yes I suppose so, no not really, pretty sure I would have remembered that.

[Blackpuddin]

CoolHands said:

Just get married and don’t worry about it.

Tempting idea, what’s the worst that could happen?

[Blackpuddin]

Inbox said:

I think it is more the doubts the current partner has about the marriage that need resolving.

Doubt much else matters at the moment.

An insightful comment.

[Mikebentley]

Blackpuddin said:

bigpriest said:

Sounds like the 70's was fun! You best check, you may have been married several times and changed your name

Ha yes I suppose so, no not really, pretty sure I would have remembered that.

Can I ask was the marriage to a “non uk citizen “ a business arrangement?
Good luck in your new marriage.

[dundarach]

If you're not divorced, surely you're still married.

And she's your next of kin?

And entitled to half your wealth?

And pensions?

And house?

Er......

[Blackpuddin]

Thank you for those cheery thoughts :-)