How to Stop Kids Destroying your Property...

[dibbers006]

I remember playing Basketball out in the Rain inbetween parked cars until 2am, I remember using fences as goal posts as we played football. I remember kicking stones on the way home from School trying to get them into car exhausts...

Yet I find myself sat with a heavy heart feeling sick as I peer through the curtains at the local kids jumping up and down on a fence that is falling down as it edges ever more perilously towards my car.

I can see them taking run ups and swinging loose wood at each other as they lean on my rickety wall and I can see them brushing between the parked cars with their hoods and their buttons and their ice lollies out of control.

I'm pretty sure I'm not a grumpy old miser but when did I cross the divide?!

And how the fk do I keep these kids away from my st without incurring some sort of gross retaliation or until they reach working age and can appreciate property and Insurance and Cost?!

I don't want them all to die and fk off. Just not near my stuff! They are too young to go the park alone and I'm presuming the parents don't know/ care.

Sure, I go out, have a quiet word... then what?

[sstein]

Kill them with fire.

[dibbers006]

sstein said:

Kill them with fire

That thought will keep my spirits up as I save for the Respray!

[Tycho]

[colonel c]

Rebuild the fence perhaps.

[Defcon]

Set to full auto and you'll have no pet/postman/milkman/overflying aircraft issue either.

Edited by Defcon on Monday 13th April 18:11

[Snake the Sniper]

colonel c said:

Rebuild the fence perhaps.

We'll have less of that sensible stuff on here thank you very much!

sstein said:

Kill them with fire.

Kill them. Kill them dead. That'll learn 'em.

[stormin]

Stand outside, near enough to be obvious, but not close enough to join in. Don't say anything, even if prompted by them - you're just 'gardening'...

Typical 'yoof of today' won't want some olddie hanging around with them.

[colonel c]

Snake the Sniper said:

colonel c said:

Rebuild the fence perhaps.

We'll have less of that sensible stuff on here thank you very much!

Naturally a fence feturing sharp spiky bits on the top...

[Slagathore]

Polar bear!!

[robinhood21]

Stuff a cushion up the back of your shirt/jumper/hoody and romp around your car/garden Quasimodo style - that should get them moving elsewhere.

[The Moose]

nuke them from orbit!

[AndrewW-G]

Tycho said:

Ahhh the old Franklin Mint "Princess Di memorial landmine"

[Jasandjules]

Just go out and say if that wall falls and they get hurt you won't be paying any money to them for it.... Then stick up a sign that says dodgy wall, get the fekc off or be prepared for pain.

[ALawson]

kick them all in the face

[IanMorewood]

Apparently pink fluorescent lights work as they then look all spotty and the chavets wont give them a BJ for a can of Tenants and a couple of fags.

[SellerOfSin]

You just need a guard rabbit.

[AngryApples]

Defcon said:

Set to full auto and you'll have no pet/postman/milkman/overflying aircraft issue either.

Edited by Defcon on Monday 13th April 18:11

Curious, that looks like Goalkeeper, but not a version I've seen

Is it?




P.S: round em up, remote island, RAF, bombing practice.

[speedtwelve]

It's a Vulcan Phalanx cannon, similar in function to Goalkeeper but a different system.

[driverrob]

A spot of gardening close by with classic FM on a bit loud should move them away.