Discussion
Reading another thread strikes up a whole new topic. When I was younger mine was a mixture of a right selfish bugger, who at times was spiteful, yet one who could show care and some outstanding qualities.
Moving on, he's a frail old boy now and needs as much support as possible, and I kind of forgive and forget the bad side of him. Looking back I can see his bad side was the outcome of his weaknesses in his personality. Is it so bad to forgive and forget a parent for their past misgivings ?
Moving on, he's a frail old boy now and needs as much support as possible, and I kind of forgive and forget the bad side of him. Looking back I can see his bad side was the outcome of his weaknesses in his personality. Is it so bad to forgive and forget a parent for their past misgivings ?
ZR1cliff said:
Is it so bad to forgive and forget a parent for their past misgivings ?
No, people change, priorities change etc etc. He may have learnt alot from his mistakes. Perhaps a meaningful chat would be good?On the plus side, my dad is brilliant, he's always been there for me, always tried steered me the right way, not that I always went, but even then he was there to pick up the pieces. Now i'm older he's more like a best mate.
After my father died (I was only 24) one clear realisataion that came to me was the fact that when people are alive, you only notice the 5% they get wrong. When they are dead, you realise there was 95% they got right and you never noticed. The hard bit is finding the 95% while you can appreciate it.
I love mine 
We've had our difficult patches and life wasn't ideal as there was a lot of heartache (to the point I'm actually ashamed to have come from my birth parents..) but as I've grown we've come to have the best relationship ever.
He is an over perfectionist and difficult - but ace.
We've had our difficult patches and life wasn't ideal as there was a lot of heartache (to the point I'm actually ashamed to have come from my birth parents..) but as I've grown we've come to have the best relationship ever.
He is an over perfectionist and difficult - but ace.
ehonda said:
to the op - Are you me? That's all depressingly familiar.
I'm trying to get on with the forgiving and forgetting thing, but sometimes it can be tough.
There are times when I look in his eyes now when I care/visit him and I know he's sorry. That's enough for me to forgive him and make sure I don't return any ill will.I'm trying to get on with the forgiving and forgetting thing, but sometimes it can be tough.
My Dad is great.
Always been proud of him. Never wished he wasn't my Dad.
He's in his sixties now, and I still look at him, and think that I'll be glad if I'm as laid back and cool as him in 25 years time.
I genuinely feel sorry for people who's relationships with their own fathers was s
te. Makes me appreciate mine even more.
Always been proud of him. Never wished he wasn't my Dad.
He's in his sixties now, and I still look at him, and think that I'll be glad if I'm as laid back and cool as him in 25 years time.
I genuinely feel sorry for people who's relationships with their own fathers was s
te. Makes me appreciate mine even more.ZR1cliff said:
Reading another thread strikes up a whole new topic. When I was younger mine was a mixture of a right selfish bugger, who at times was spiteful, yet one who could show care and some outstanding qualities.
Moving on, he's a frail old boy now and needs as much support as possible, and I kind of forgive and forget the bad side of him. Looking back I can see his bad side was the outcome of his weaknesses in his personality. Is it so bad to forgive and forget a parent for their past misgivings ?
Mine was abit like that too..Moving on, he's a frail old boy now and needs as much support as possible, and I kind of forgive and forget the bad side of him. Looking back I can see his bad side was the outcome of his weaknesses in his personality. Is it so bad to forgive and forget a parent for their past misgivings ?
Always so tight with his money, didn't really want to do anything.. Unless it was for him, etc.
But now hes in hospital, bare in mind i'm only 18.. Hes 52, hes got ventricle failure and a whole load of other things.. I go up there as much as possible, even when he was in London and it was over an hour of travelling each way.
Sometimes when I was a kid he could be cranky, its only lately that I've realised this was usually when he was after working like a dog on overtime so we'd want for nothing so he was tired. He never spoils himself even to this day and is always willing to help out in any way he can.
I doubt I'll ever know the full extent of all he's done for me, but whatever it was I appreciate it, I'm a good, level headed, independent adult now, with a good education and good future prospects and I owe a lot to, not just my Dad but both my parents for giving me that.
And I certainly forgive them any wrong they did me, it was usually only for my own good and we all make mistakes.
I doubt I'll ever know the full extent of all he's done for me, but whatever it was I appreciate it, I'm a good, level headed, independent adult now, with a good education and good future prospects and I owe a lot to, not just my Dad but both my parents for giving me that.
And I certainly forgive them any wrong they did me, it was usually only for my own good and we all make mistakes.
anonymous said:
[redacted]
Are you my brother?Thing is, you can forgive people for making mistakes, I find this quite easy. What I can't forgive is making no effort, being feeble, being weak and spineless and not being accountable for ones actions.
As an adult and a father myself now, I know I am not perfect, I know I am not patient enough sometimes. But i do try and will always support my kids in doing what they want to do and help them to achieve all they want and all they are capable of, no matter what life throws at me personally. Good, bad, right or wrong I will never be in a position of not having been there to support them in all aspects of their life.
Edited by TedMaul on Wednesday 22 April 14:11
tamore said:
blimey, to buck the trend a little, tamore snr is a great old fella. there are few people i laugh as much with, even amongst my close circle of friends.
Having just become a Dad, I'm hoping that my daughter will be able to say this in future. It's a shame that the lessons I've had from my Dad will be in how not to behave 
My Dad is and has always been brilliant. All my life he's been supportive, kind and generous, even when I've mucked up. Even now at 81 having lost my mum 3 years ago he's fit and healthy with most of his faculties and loves nothing more than working on his restoration of a Humber Hawk estate. Oh and he still has a twinkle in the eye for the ladies. I just hope I have his vitality at his age.
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