Wedding Gift Etiquette

[C8PPO]

We're getting married in a couple of weeks, and have already received gifts via different channels. Some people have purchased gifts from our gift list, so we can see who's given what, but we don't actually receive the gifts from the shop until after the wedding.

Others have sent mostly cheques, and some gift vouchers.

So, question 1: when should we bank the cheques? Now, i.e. before the wedding, or after? And question 2: do we write letters of thanks now, or, again, after the wedding with everyone else's?

Fire away.....

[staceyb]

After for both.

[Merc fan]

I think it's perfectly good manners to bank the cheques immediately and send letters when you get back from honeymoon when you can do all the letters at once. By the sound of it, you're only a few weeks away so it won't matter.

[Jasandjules]

After for both.

And may I say well done on actually sending thank you cards etc..

[missdiane]

I would say after too.

[sday12]

Definatley after

[bluetone]

I would say it depends on the time delay between writing cheque and the funds leaving account. Normally once you write a cheque, you expect your account to be hit within about 1 week. If there is a delay, there is the possibility of someone forgetting that their account is not in fact as healthy as it appears, if they have forgotten about the cheque. This actually did happen a while back when a friend of mine left it quite late after the wedding to cash all the cheques (by a few months IIRC) - this upset at least one other friend, who had quite understandably assumed the cheque had gone through some time a go.

So I would not worry too much about etiquette just practicality if I were you.



Jordan if you are reading this, count to 20 before posting in order to let your blood pressure return to normal

[2something]

Congrats!

Thank you letters - after wedding and honeymoon.

Banking cheques - just do it when you next go to the bank.
Some people aren't a fan of having cheques being banked a long time after they write them, so I wouldn't leave it too long.
On the other hand banking them rightaway *might* look a little bit greedy - it shouldn't, they happily sent you the cheque, but folk are strange.

[bluetone]

2something said:

On the other hand banking them rightaway *might* look a little bit greedy - it shouldn't, they happily sent you the cheque, but folk are strange.

There is that but at the expense of sounding sexist, I wouldn't expect a bloke to think that way...

[trooperiziz]

After to both, don't count your chickens, she may not turn up

[Nolar Dog]

Is it not possible that some of the cheques are dated as your wedding day anyway?

If so you won't be able to bank then yet anyway.
Just a thought.

Congratulations on the wedding too.

[C8PPO]

Great replies, thanks, much along the lines of what we thought but wanted to check.

Most of the cheques seem to be in her name anyway, so I'll be making sure she turns up

[Graham E]

IMO after for both - and to add personally I'd have only opened them on the day / after, because it's a wedding present, not a "getting married in 2 weeks and couldn't resist peeking" present. But then, I'm quite old fashioned in that way =)

[C8PPO]

Strangely, there was pressure from the MIL2B to open them now, so SWMBO2B did. They were all actually cards with cheques etc inside.

[Chrisgr31]

Although I would say after for both, if I sent a cheque I might worry you had not received it if it was not banked or no thank you.

So you could write now and say that to ensure the cheque isn;t lost you intend banking it in the next 7 days please let me know if you'd prefer us to wait until after the wedding day.

Oh and you could always write your thank yous now for the gift list item and just post date them!

[davido140]

Jasandjules said:

And may I say well done on actually sending thank you cards etc..

+1 I think I've had one or two thank you cards out of the 10-15 weddings I've been to over the last 5 years.

If I ever slip up and get married I wont be asking for gifts at all, I dont particularly agree with it and I've known some right cheeky mother fkers with some of the expensive crap they put on thier lists.