Row with housemate
Discussion
Just had a major falling out with one of my several housemates over security. Me and MrsPhillT thought it might amuse/boil the piss of some PHers, so the whole sorry saga is reprinted here. It's a long 'un, be forwarned.
Background - I recently moved into a large shared house in Dubai with my girlfriend, who already lived there with some housemates. Most of them are sound, but one - we'll call him Mick - is a lazy sod who always leaves the place in a mess and seems to try his utmost to find fault with everything anyone suggests.
No one has ever locked the house - it's a very safe area within a gated community. But recently we've had two incidents when random pissed people have ended up getting into the house - one who followed Mick home from a party, and another who last week just randomly walked in and woke up my housemates by blundering into their room in the middle of the night. He left an unpaid taxi driver outside, who called the police - not good when, in theory, shared gender houses are not allowed.
So, while Mick and another housemate, Mark, were on holiday last week, the other six of us decided it was high time we lock the door. An email was sent around to everyone canvassing opinion. Mick and Mark got back, and the below email transcript is what happened next. The conversation is copied to everyone in the house, names have been changed.
MICK
Re the keys, me and Mark both don't think it is necessary - both times the perpetrators were drunken idiots, and were no threat to anyone or their possessions.
MRS PHILLT
Re locking the house: in your absence, the remaining six of us decided it would be much safer and generally more sensible to lock the house, as you would do if you were living in the UK...
I know we haven't locked it up til now, and although I objected at first, I just kind of rolled with it (albeit unhappily!) because Paul [former housemate] gave me so much abuse for suggesting we should lock it.
But Kevin pointed out that it's stupid to leave it unlocked, from a security and safety point of view, especially cos most of us have lots of vaulables in the house. There's no reason why we can't all just carry a key with us, and means we are protected in case any random decides to walk in during the day. The fact that two people have done it while drunk just shows how vulnerable the house is!
Dunno if you and Mark still have the keys that Laura got cut when we first moved in - if not, just grab one from any of us to get a copy (it only costs about dhs10)
MICK
In our absence? all six of us (two of whom have been in my house for less than 2 months)? Surely that's a bit out of order to decide something when we are away? And no, it is not the same as the UK, not in any way whatsoever. It is Dubai - there are no burglaries in Dubai, and certainly none in a gated community down in the Springs / Meadows complex. I will not be cutting a key or locking the door, and will break in if I have to. Start locking it when I leave on June 3rd if you must.
How about I promise to pay for any item that is stolen from the house whilst it is unlocked, would this make you happier?
MARK
I don't have a key or anywhere to get it cut nearby.
I really don't think it is necessary, there are only two months left, the guy next door is just a pleb as was previous; and most importantly even with these new rules - the doors wouldnt have been locked on either of those two occasions with those new rules - as everyone was in the house at the time; which emphasises what a pointless exercise locking the doors would be.
I seriously doubt we are going to start locking the doors when we are all in and in bed like grandparents, are we.
If you absolutely insist then we need to leave a key somewhere for people who don't remember keys and lose things, like in the gas cupboard or something.
I would also point out that half of you leave the backdoor wide open all the time and the kitchen door to the yard always seems to be open. So if most of you can't be arsed with that why bother with the front door?
MICK
I second this, and have informed Mrs PhillT why I think it is ludicrous. There probably hasn't been a burglary in the Meadows since the complex was built, and I'm almost certain there isn't going to suddenly be a spate now. If you want me to pay for any item stolen in the month I am going to be there then I will.
I also think it is unfair that you decided this when we were away - it leaves me thinking you knew we would object.
I will not cut a key or lock the door, so if you choose to lock me out I will find a way in to my house the way I see fit.
I have made my decision and will not change it. I am not locking the front door - end of discussion.
PHILLT
I fail to see any problem here.
People have wandered into our unlocked, uninsured house and stood over us while we sleep. And it's not the first time it's happened. For the sake of turning a piece of metal in a door, it won't happen again. What's the problem?
From a group point of view, it's a normal, sensible thing to do - wherever you are in the world. There might not be as many burglaries in Dubai as the UK, but they do happen. From a personal point of view, I'd like my home to be secure when I'm asleep or not there.
How long people have lived at the house has no bearing whatsoever - they pay rent, they have as much say as anyone else.
We can get you extra keys cut if you need them - you'll need them to give back when we move out, anyway.
Mick, why on earth would you not want to turn a key when you leave and arrive, but are quite happy to pay for anything stolen or any damage caused by you breaking in?
MRS PHILLT
I really didn't think a simple thing like locking the doors would cause so much aggro!
It's something for us all to decide as a group, the six of us discussed it while you (Mick and Mark) were away and decided it would be a good idea, and seeing as it was a 6:2 majority (not to mention being a reasonably sensible idea) I didn't think there would be any problem!
It's not like we're asking to install retina scanners and fingerprint detectors or anything, come on guys!
MICK
6:2! 6 f
king 2! are you taking the fking piss! two of you are going out with people and were not orginally supposed to move in - one of whom has been in the house for hardly any period of time and was not invited by any of us. Another moved in less than 6 months ago, and another moved in 2 weeks ago. Don't fking wind me up.
MRS PHILLT
I am really sorry, am I missing something? I don't understand why I am getting so much abuse for this!!
MICK
I'm sorry, but your e-mail infuriated me beyond belief. the only people who should be voting on such matters should be me, you, Laura and Mark - certianly not PhillT and definitely not Kevin. You cannot just make a house decision when we are away, it is not fair and it is bloody rude - how can you not understand that?
I am not going to say any more as I am ill, tired and not really wanting to get so angry at work. As I said earlier, I will pay for anything that is stolen while we are in the house - is this not a fair comprimise?
PHILLT
Have some respect Mick - we're making a completely reasonable request. There's no need to respond in that way.
We all live in the house, we all contribute towards the running of it, and we're all entitled to a say on what happens no matter how long we've lived there.
If you have a problem with me, Ted, Kevin or Kate living with you then you've had plenty of time and opportunity to take it up with us.
Rather than stamping your feet, maybe you'd like to put a reasoned view on why you don't want to lock the house even though the rest of us think it's a good idea?
MARK
No offence mate, but Kevin and Kate pay full rent, they absolutely have a say.
Ted has never tried to force anything through on me ever, and has always been a respectful inhabitant given that he was not part of the original deal. I would object if he did, and roger him accordingly. I dont mind you being in the house but for the record, I really think you and Ted share your decisions like you share a room, and share rent.
I think lumping you all in together as an argument against Mick is sneaky.
All my valid points about the door have not been acknowledged, and the point is I don't think the logic makes sense.
-do we intend to lock it when we go to bed each night? I doubt any of you will actually do this in reality.
-what about the other doors you all leave open constantly?
The original point about the door was that there are always so many people going in and out and there is more or less always someone in that it was a waste of time.
As I said, if you insist, put a key in the gas cupboard, and provide me with one as well - as i really dont have the time or inclination to go and get one when i dnt really agree with it.
Equally, I bet you even with keys we will end up locking people in, locking people out and just go back to the status quo anyway.
I also think all my points have been reasonably made and expressed, and I am absolutely not abusing you here Mrs PhillT.
MICK
As I said earlier, I will pay for anything that is stolen from the house while I am living there. I hope you consider this a fair compromise - and you don't report any dodgy incidents that don't smell right, as I will have the police around in a shot.
Admittedly, I went overboard on that e-mail and I apologise, but as I just said to Mrs PhillT I am ill, extremely tired and not exactly warming to her e-mails she keeps sending me.
I have now said three times that I will pay for anything that is stolen while I live there. This is fair - unlike deciding something when your housemates are on holiday.
is it not reasonable to suggest that locking the door is a pointless exercise when there is no need to it PhillT? Is Mark's comment that it would not have stopped the two idiots entering our house in the first place, not reason? You tell me.
LAURA
I understand how it seems quite assinine to start locking the door(s) at this juncture, when we have lived in the villa for almost a year now & have never really locked up (except for that time Terry [another former housemate] got locked out of course, but everyone should simply learn a lesson from that).
At the same time, locking up/keeping a key on you is not difficult to do & can't hurt. If not locking up is making even one person uncomfortable then I agree that the answer should be to begin locking up. I seriously doubt we will need to lock up often during hours that would effect anyone anyway, as there is pretty much always someone home during the day & evening when most of us are coming in & out.
I for one, am seriously annoyed about the police showing up at our villa twice now because of drunken morons sauntering in/not paying taxis/whatever. That's a problem, seeing that we live in a very co-ed house, filled with alcohol (which I'm not quite sure if that's a probem or not for the people who don't have a liquor license or if one is good for the whole house).
I know not everyone wants to or intends to stay in Dubai, but I will be furious if anything happens that gets me kicked out. Call me paranoid, but I'd rather take lengths to stay out of trouble in Dubai when possible.
MICK
"I for one, am seriously annoyed about the police showing up at our villa twice now because of drunken morons sauntering in/not paying taxis/whatever."
But Mark has pointed out they would have got in anyway? The first one definitely, as he followed me in. And, he was trying to get in when the police arrived, he wasn't actually inside the house.
If the thought of losing valuable items is making someone uncomfortable, then I have stated four times I will pay for anything that goes missing while I live there. If the thought of being kicked out because you have no alcohol licence, then by all means go and get and alcohol licence. The co-ed thing has already been discussed, as we live in a private gated community I thought we all came to the conclusion it was fine?
LAURA
The points made in this email & others are valid, but like Mrs PhillT I simply just don't understand why something as simple & harmless as locking up is an issue.
PHILLT
Apparently my view is not valid, but for the record, before I leave the debate to someone else:
- Locking the door would be a lot easier than paying for anything nicked
- Paying for nicked stuff doesn't stop random people walking in
- Personally, I would lock the door at night, and it would have kept the last bloke out
- Democracy is not sneaky
- All doors should be locked, not just the front
- It's not exactly a massive chore on anyone.
And I'm done.
MICK
Incidentally Phill, I never appoorved of you moving in, and told Mrs PhillT so on many occasions - ask her if you must. I have accepted you moving in regardless, and have tried to keep my mouth shut, seeing as I am going home in a month. But seeing as you now are trying to use my e-mails as a way to get the rest of the house against me, maybe I should be less forgiving?
This bit was just between me and Mick, after I took offense at his outburst against MrsPhillT
PHILLT
Mick,
Sorry to hear you're under the weather. Get well soon, etc.
Also sorry to hear you didn't want me living at the house - I didn't know that, and will talk to Bec about it. As mentioned though, if anything I'm doing is causing you a problem in the house, feel free to talk to me about it.
I'm not trying to use your emails for any agenda at all - all I'm doing is replying to them and addressing the points raised, as a resident of the house that doesn't want random people walking in and the police being called, or his stuff being nicked. It's not an us vs you thing, or anything like that. It's a debate and nothing more, and one I'll now leave to the others.
Putting that whole issue aside for a moment: don't you EVER address my girlfriend in that way again - by email, by phone, in person, whatever. I've tried to show you respect and courtesy at all times, but I will not put up with you abusing her like that, no matter how ill or tired you are. It's absolutely not acceptable, is that clear?
MICK
Are you threatening me Phill?
PHILLT
Just advising you in no uncertain terms not to talk to Mrs PhillT in that way again. I'm sure you wouldn't put up with someone talking to your girlfriend in that manner, and neither will I.
As far as I'm concerned, the matter's closed now.
MICK
How was it that bad Phill? she is a 30-year-old woman? can she not fend for herself? I did not abuse her once in the e-mail - read it again. I also apologised.
She is also someone I have known and lived with since I have been here, so being a boyfriend of 3 months or whatever it is does not give you the right to get so ttty with me.
I will not tolerate you threatening me, "in no uncertain terms".
Sent to everyone again
MICK
Ok guys. After the e-mail I just received from PhillT, I have decided it is either me or him moving out right away, for fear of me exploding when I next see him. I am not living with anyone like him. It is clear he will want to stay, so I presume it will have to be me.
MRS PHILLT
Oh COME ON guys, this is ridiculous.
This all started with a discussion about KEYS, for christ's sake.
Let's just talk about this tonight. Sensibly.
And no more emails.
(now I feel like a school teacher
MICK
No Mrs PhillT, I am not having anyone living in my house threaten me, no matter how badly I behave. It is absolutely unbelievable.
Bring on the judgements!
Edited as I forgot to change a couple of names...
Background - I recently moved into a large shared house in Dubai with my girlfriend, who already lived there with some housemates. Most of them are sound, but one - we'll call him Mick - is a lazy sod who always leaves the place in a mess and seems to try his utmost to find fault with everything anyone suggests.
No one has ever locked the house - it's a very safe area within a gated community. But recently we've had two incidents when random pissed people have ended up getting into the house - one who followed Mick home from a party, and another who last week just randomly walked in and woke up my housemates by blundering into their room in the middle of the night. He left an unpaid taxi driver outside, who called the police - not good when, in theory, shared gender houses are not allowed.
So, while Mick and another housemate, Mark, were on holiday last week, the other six of us decided it was high time we lock the door. An email was sent around to everyone canvassing opinion. Mick and Mark got back, and the below email transcript is what happened next. The conversation is copied to everyone in the house, names have been changed.
MICK
Re the keys, me and Mark both don't think it is necessary - both times the perpetrators were drunken idiots, and were no threat to anyone or their possessions.
MRS PHILLT
Re locking the house: in your absence, the remaining six of us decided it would be much safer and generally more sensible to lock the house, as you would do if you were living in the UK...
I know we haven't locked it up til now, and although I objected at first, I just kind of rolled with it (albeit unhappily!) because Paul [former housemate] gave me so much abuse for suggesting we should lock it.
But Kevin pointed out that it's stupid to leave it unlocked, from a security and safety point of view, especially cos most of us have lots of vaulables in the house. There's no reason why we can't all just carry a key with us, and means we are protected in case any random decides to walk in during the day. The fact that two people have done it while drunk just shows how vulnerable the house is!
Dunno if you and Mark still have the keys that Laura got cut when we first moved in - if not, just grab one from any of us to get a copy (it only costs about dhs10)
MICK
In our absence? all six of us (two of whom have been in my house for less than 2 months)? Surely that's a bit out of order to decide something when we are away? And no, it is not the same as the UK, not in any way whatsoever. It is Dubai - there are no burglaries in Dubai, and certainly none in a gated community down in the Springs / Meadows complex. I will not be cutting a key or locking the door, and will break in if I have to. Start locking it when I leave on June 3rd if you must.
How about I promise to pay for any item that is stolen from the house whilst it is unlocked, would this make you happier?
MARK
I don't have a key or anywhere to get it cut nearby.
I really don't think it is necessary, there are only two months left, the guy next door is just a pleb as was previous; and most importantly even with these new rules - the doors wouldnt have been locked on either of those two occasions with those new rules - as everyone was in the house at the time; which emphasises what a pointless exercise locking the doors would be.
I seriously doubt we are going to start locking the doors when we are all in and in bed like grandparents, are we.
If you absolutely insist then we need to leave a key somewhere for people who don't remember keys and lose things, like in the gas cupboard or something.
I would also point out that half of you leave the backdoor wide open all the time and the kitchen door to the yard always seems to be open. So if most of you can't be arsed with that why bother with the front door?
MICK
I second this, and have informed Mrs PhillT why I think it is ludicrous. There probably hasn't been a burglary in the Meadows since the complex was built, and I'm almost certain there isn't going to suddenly be a spate now. If you want me to pay for any item stolen in the month I am going to be there then I will.
I also think it is unfair that you decided this when we were away - it leaves me thinking you knew we would object.
I will not cut a key or lock the door, so if you choose to lock me out I will find a way in to my house the way I see fit.
I have made my decision and will not change it. I am not locking the front door - end of discussion.
PHILLT
I fail to see any problem here.
People have wandered into our unlocked, uninsured house and stood over us while we sleep. And it's not the first time it's happened. For the sake of turning a piece of metal in a door, it won't happen again. What's the problem?
From a group point of view, it's a normal, sensible thing to do - wherever you are in the world. There might not be as many burglaries in Dubai as the UK, but they do happen. From a personal point of view, I'd like my home to be secure when I'm asleep or not there.
How long people have lived at the house has no bearing whatsoever - they pay rent, they have as much say as anyone else.
We can get you extra keys cut if you need them - you'll need them to give back when we move out, anyway.
Mick, why on earth would you not want to turn a key when you leave and arrive, but are quite happy to pay for anything stolen or any damage caused by you breaking in?
MRS PHILLT
I really didn't think a simple thing like locking the doors would cause so much aggro!
It's something for us all to decide as a group, the six of us discussed it while you (Mick and Mark) were away and decided it would be a good idea, and seeing as it was a 6:2 majority (not to mention being a reasonably sensible idea) I didn't think there would be any problem!
It's not like we're asking to install retina scanners and fingerprint detectors or anything, come on guys!
MICK
6:2! 6 f
king 2! are you taking the fking piss! two of you are going out with people and were not orginally supposed to move in - one of whom has been in the house for hardly any period of time and was not invited by any of us. Another moved in less than 6 months ago, and another moved in 2 weeks ago. Don't fking wind me up. MRS PHILLT
I am really sorry, am I missing something? I don't understand why I am getting so much abuse for this!!
MICK
I'm sorry, but your e-mail infuriated me beyond belief. the only people who should be voting on such matters should be me, you, Laura and Mark - certianly not PhillT and definitely not Kevin. You cannot just make a house decision when we are away, it is not fair and it is bloody rude - how can you not understand that?
I am not going to say any more as I am ill, tired and not really wanting to get so angry at work. As I said earlier, I will pay for anything that is stolen while we are in the house - is this not a fair comprimise?
PHILLT
Have some respect Mick - we're making a completely reasonable request. There's no need to respond in that way.
We all live in the house, we all contribute towards the running of it, and we're all entitled to a say on what happens no matter how long we've lived there.
If you have a problem with me, Ted, Kevin or Kate living with you then you've had plenty of time and opportunity to take it up with us.
Rather than stamping your feet, maybe you'd like to put a reasoned view on why you don't want to lock the house even though the rest of us think it's a good idea?
MARK
No offence mate, but Kevin and Kate pay full rent, they absolutely have a say.
Ted has never tried to force anything through on me ever, and has always been a respectful inhabitant given that he was not part of the original deal. I would object if he did, and roger him accordingly. I dont mind you being in the house but for the record, I really think you and Ted share your decisions like you share a room, and share rent.
I think lumping you all in together as an argument against Mick is sneaky.
All my valid points about the door have not been acknowledged, and the point is I don't think the logic makes sense.
-do we intend to lock it when we go to bed each night? I doubt any of you will actually do this in reality.
-what about the other doors you all leave open constantly?
The original point about the door was that there are always so many people going in and out and there is more or less always someone in that it was a waste of time.
As I said, if you insist, put a key in the gas cupboard, and provide me with one as well - as i really dont have the time or inclination to go and get one when i dnt really agree with it.
Equally, I bet you even with keys we will end up locking people in, locking people out and just go back to the status quo anyway.
I also think all my points have been reasonably made and expressed, and I am absolutely not abusing you here Mrs PhillT.
MICK
As I said earlier, I will pay for anything that is stolen from the house while I am living there. I hope you consider this a fair compromise - and you don't report any dodgy incidents that don't smell right, as I will have the police around in a shot.
Admittedly, I went overboard on that e-mail and I apologise, but as I just said to Mrs PhillT I am ill, extremely tired and not exactly warming to her e-mails she keeps sending me.
I have now said three times that I will pay for anything that is stolen while I live there. This is fair - unlike deciding something when your housemates are on holiday.
is it not reasonable to suggest that locking the door is a pointless exercise when there is no need to it PhillT? Is Mark's comment that it would not have stopped the two idiots entering our house in the first place, not reason? You tell me.
LAURA
I understand how it seems quite assinine to start locking the door(s) at this juncture, when we have lived in the villa for almost a year now & have never really locked up (except for that time Terry [another former housemate] got locked out of course, but everyone should simply learn a lesson from that).
At the same time, locking up/keeping a key on you is not difficult to do & can't hurt. If not locking up is making even one person uncomfortable then I agree that the answer should be to begin locking up. I seriously doubt we will need to lock up often during hours that would effect anyone anyway, as there is pretty much always someone home during the day & evening when most of us are coming in & out.
I for one, am seriously annoyed about the police showing up at our villa twice now because of drunken morons sauntering in/not paying taxis/whatever. That's a problem, seeing that we live in a very co-ed house, filled with alcohol (which I'm not quite sure if that's a probem or not for the people who don't have a liquor license or if one is good for the whole house).
I know not everyone wants to or intends to stay in Dubai, but I will be furious if anything happens that gets me kicked out. Call me paranoid, but I'd rather take lengths to stay out of trouble in Dubai when possible.
MICK
"I for one, am seriously annoyed about the police showing up at our villa twice now because of drunken morons sauntering in/not paying taxis/whatever."
But Mark has pointed out they would have got in anyway? The first one definitely, as he followed me in. And, he was trying to get in when the police arrived, he wasn't actually inside the house.
If the thought of losing valuable items is making someone uncomfortable, then I have stated four times I will pay for anything that goes missing while I live there. If the thought of being kicked out because you have no alcohol licence, then by all means go and get and alcohol licence. The co-ed thing has already been discussed, as we live in a private gated community I thought we all came to the conclusion it was fine?
LAURA
The points made in this email & others are valid, but like Mrs PhillT I simply just don't understand why something as simple & harmless as locking up is an issue.
PHILLT
Apparently my view is not valid, but for the record, before I leave the debate to someone else:
- Locking the door would be a lot easier than paying for anything nicked
- Paying for nicked stuff doesn't stop random people walking in
- Personally, I would lock the door at night, and it would have kept the last bloke out
- Democracy is not sneaky
- All doors should be locked, not just the front
- It's not exactly a massive chore on anyone.
And I'm done.
MICK
Incidentally Phill, I never appoorved of you moving in, and told Mrs PhillT so on many occasions - ask her if you must. I have accepted you moving in regardless, and have tried to keep my mouth shut, seeing as I am going home in a month. But seeing as you now are trying to use my e-mails as a way to get the rest of the house against me, maybe I should be less forgiving?
This bit was just between me and Mick, after I took offense at his outburst against MrsPhillT
PHILLT
Mick,
Sorry to hear you're under the weather. Get well soon, etc.
Also sorry to hear you didn't want me living at the house - I didn't know that, and will talk to Bec about it. As mentioned though, if anything I'm doing is causing you a problem in the house, feel free to talk to me about it.
I'm not trying to use your emails for any agenda at all - all I'm doing is replying to them and addressing the points raised, as a resident of the house that doesn't want random people walking in and the police being called, or his stuff being nicked. It's not an us vs you thing, or anything like that. It's a debate and nothing more, and one I'll now leave to the others.
Putting that whole issue aside for a moment: don't you EVER address my girlfriend in that way again - by email, by phone, in person, whatever. I've tried to show you respect and courtesy at all times, but I will not put up with you abusing her like that, no matter how ill or tired you are. It's absolutely not acceptable, is that clear?
MICK
Are you threatening me Phill?
PHILLT
Just advising you in no uncertain terms not to talk to Mrs PhillT in that way again. I'm sure you wouldn't put up with someone talking to your girlfriend in that manner, and neither will I.
As far as I'm concerned, the matter's closed now.
MICK
How was it that bad Phill? she is a 30-year-old woman? can she not fend for herself? I did not abuse her once in the e-mail - read it again. I also apologised.
She is also someone I have known and lived with since I have been here, so being a boyfriend of 3 months or whatever it is does not give you the right to get so t
tty with me.I will not tolerate you threatening me, "in no uncertain terms".
Sent to everyone again
MICK
Ok guys. After the e-mail I just received from PhillT, I have decided it is either me or him moving out right away, for fear of me exploding when I next see him. I am not living with anyone like him. It is clear he will want to stay, so I presume it will have to be me.
MRS PHILLT
Oh COME ON guys, this is ridiculous.
This all started with a discussion about KEYS, for christ's sake.
Let's just talk about this tonight. Sensibly.
And no more emails.
(now I feel like a school teacher
MICK
No Mrs PhillT, I am not having anyone living in my house threaten me, no matter how badly I behave. It is absolutely unbelievable.
Bring on the judgements!
Edited as I forgot to change a couple of names...
Edited by PhillT on Sunday 10th May 11:36
Good grief that guy Mick is a . C. U. N. T., just in case there is any misunderstanding. And the other guy who doesn't want the door locked sounds more reasonable-ish but still, it's only a key. The bird who says 'if one person is uncomfortable with it unlocked then we should lock it' is bang on. Security and feeling safe in your home is a basic human right IMO and should be respected.
When I moved into my flat the door into the building had no lock on it. Apparently never had. I insisted that this 1. invalidated my insurance (lies) and 2. was unacceptable in the modern world. I'm sure in 'The Archers' thats all well and good but is it worth the risk?? How much effort is turning a key FFS.
This is your opportunity to get this guy MIck out of the house, which will obviously be a etter place without him. USE IT!.
Some people just CANNOT live with others, no matter how much they try or want to. They just can't. It sounds like you have one of those people.
. C. U. N. T., just in case there is any misunderstanding. And the other guy who doesn't want the door locked sounds more reasonable-ish but still, it's only a key. The bird who says 'if one person is uncomfortable with it unlocked then we should lock it' is bang on. Security and feeling safe in your home is a basic human right IMO and should be respected.When I moved into my flat the door into the building had no lock on it. Apparently never had. I insisted that this 1. invalidated my insurance (lies) and 2. was unacceptable in the modern world. I'm sure in 'The Archers' thats all well and good but is it worth the risk?? How much effort is turning a key FFS.
This is your opportunity to get this guy MIck out of the house, which will obviously be a etter place without him. USE IT!.
Some people just CANNOT live with others, no matter how much they try or want to. They just can't. It sounds like you have one of those people.
Having read the whole lot, I'd like to point out that you're all st at diplomacy, have little tact when dealing with with potential problematic situations, and when put in a stressful situation, make overblown threats escalating a small problem into a huge issue, massively affecting people's general happyness.
Do you fancy a job working for the DVLA?
t at diplomacy, have little tact when dealing with with potential problematic situations, and when put in a stressful situation, make overblown threats escalating a small problem into a huge issue, massively affecting people's general happyness.Do you fancy a job working for the DVLA?
Graham E said:
Having read the whole lot, I'd like to point out that you're all st at diplomacy, have little tact when dealing with with potential problematic situations, and when put in a stressful situation, make overblown threats escalating a small problem into a huge issue, massively affecting people's general happyness.
Do you fancy a job working for the DVLA?
t at diplomacy, have little tact when dealing with with potential problematic situations, and when put in a stressful situation, make overblown threats escalating a small problem into a huge issue, massively affecting people's general happyness.Do you fancy a job working for the DVLA?
I thought I was fairly diplomatic during the whole thing. Perhaps my email to Mick was a but strong, but I was very angry at him hurling expletives at my girlfriend for no reason. If he'd done it vocally while I was in the room, I'd have been a lot less tactful.
If I was Mick, I'd be going a bit Tonto as well.
He's been there 2 years, you've wandered in 2 months ago and started making changes - not only that, you did it behind his back.
Not surprised he's miffed, making 'I'm defending my girl' threats is also comedy, she's 30 and should by now be able to handle herself...she's managed up til you turned up.
I think you are all snakes in the grass.... democracy... bks
He's been there 2 years, you've wandered in 2 months ago and started making changes - not only that, you did it behind his back.
Not surprised he's miffed, making 'I'm defending my girl' threats is also comedy, she's 30 and should by now be able to handle herself...she's managed up til you turned up.
I think you are all snakes in the grass.... democracy... b
ksDid you miss out any emails? I can't see where Mick was "abusing" your girlfriend?
Also, everyone knew the house rules when they moved in. If a rule is to be changed, it should be changed unanimously. Otherwise, the people with the problems with the existing rules should accept them or move out.
Also, everyone knew the house rules when they moved in. If a rule is to be changed, it should be changed unanimously. Otherwise, the people with the problems with the existing rules should accept them or move out.
Cheeky Jim said:
If I was Mick, I'd be going a bit Tonto as well.
He's been there 2 years, you've wandered in 2 months ago and started making changes - not only that, you did it behind his back.
Not surprised he's miffed, making 'I'm defending my girl' threats is also comedy, she's 30 and should by now be able to handle herself...she's managed up til you turned up.
I think you are all snakes in the grass.... democracy... bks
In fairness, he's not been there two years, he's been there less than a year. I've been there for about four or five months, longer than several other housemates. And we all pay rent.He's been there 2 years, you've wandered in 2 months ago and started making changes - not only that, you did it behind his back.
Not surprised he's miffed, making 'I'm defending my girl' threats is also comedy, she's 30 and should by now be able to handle herself...she's managed up til you turned up.
I think you are all snakes in the grass.... democracy... b
ksI didn't demand changes, we - that's me and everyone else, including other original housemates - decided it would be a good idea and sent the mail just as a notice. The fact that it was while they were away was coincidental, as the latest nutter wandered in after they'd gone on holiday.
Sure, my gf can defend herself, but I'm not one for sitting idly by while someone's a tit towards her.
Incidentally, the house in in MrsPhillT's name - she organises all the bills and deals with the landlord, and she and I pay the largest portion of the rent.
I don't see why this Mick chap has such an issue. He's leaving in 3 weeks time anyway, so why not just lock the door if that is what the majority are requesting. Offering to pay for any items stolen isn't really the answer to the situation and who really wants random strangers just wandering in, regardless of their intentions and regardless of someone offering to pay if anything were stolen.
I'm not sure how he can see it better to pay for anything stolen and making him out of pocket, when it's easier just to lock the door surely
I'm not sure how he can see it better to pay for anything stolen and making him out of pocket, when it's easier just to lock the door surely
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