Miserable following break up.

[Cap'n Custud]

Well it's been a long few months but finally things are coming to a close with me and my ex boyfriend of 5 1/2 years. So why do I feel so rotten? I was the one who left him and I handled it so badly, he did too and his persistance scared me off.

I feel awful now for ending this though I know somewhere deep down it was the right thing to do. Will the guilt ever pass?

I miss his friendship and his company but I just can't see him as a boyfriend anymore. Lord I am hurting right now....

[bobbylondonuk]

Cap'n Custud said:

Well it's been a long few months but finally things are coming to a close with me and my ex boyfriend of 5 1/2 years. So why do I feel so rotten? I was the one who left him and I handled it so badly, he did too and his persistance scared me off.

I feel awful now for ending this though I know somewhere deep down it was the right thing to do. Will the guilt ever pass?

I miss his friendship and his company but I just can't see him as a boyfriend anymore. Lord I am hurting right now....

find another dude that will do a good job as a substitute!

[Andy Zarse]

Stop the navel gazing!

Life just got better!

[Lil' Joe]

Cap'n Custud said:

I miss his friendship and his company but I just can't see him as a boyfriend anymore. Lord I am hurting right now....

No reason to lose his friendship. Don't see him for a while though as thAt won't help. Go and have fun, go on holiday, go and get laid, go and meet some friends, go for a hoon.

Stop sitting at home or you will not feel better mate.

[King Herald]

Cap'n Custud said:

Well it's been a long few months but finally things are coming to a close with me and my ex boyfriend of 5 1/2 years. So why do I feel so rotten? I was the one who left him and I handled it so badly, he did too and his persistance scared me off.

I feel awful now for ending this though I know somewhere deep down it was the right thing to do. Will the guilt ever pass?

I miss his friendship and his company but I just can't see him as a boyfriend anymore. Lord I am hurting right now....

Time does heal, though passing the time is the painful part. You need to do other things, find other pastimes, go out more, to fill the gap, and take your mind of things. Sitting at home feeling miserable and wallowing in agony is the worst/last thing to do.

And don't go to places you know he'll go! Leave the 'just good friends now' bit until all the wounds have healed.

[JJCW]

Start a new hobby, with totally new people They won't remind you of the ex, so you'll hopefully just have fun!

[parakitaMol.]

Cap'n Custud said:

Well it's been a long few months but finally things are coming to a close with me and my ex boyfriend of 5 1/2 years. So why do I feel so rotten? I was the one who left him and I handled it so badly, he did too and his persistance scared me off.

I feel awful now for ending this though I know somewhere deep down it was the right thing to do. Will the guilt ever pass?

I miss his friendship and his company but I just can't see him as a boyfriend anymore. Lord I am hurting right now....

I'm no counsellor but I'd recommend 3 things.

Avoid all connection related activities for at least 6 months.

Get into some new routines and activities as soon as you feel up to it... I discovered Wakeboarding and Climbing like this. Check out Craggy Island if it's near you.

Stay well away from new relationships (including casual sex ones) for a good 6 - 12 months at least. Despite what the men will predictably say !

[JJCW]

parakitaMol. said:

Check out Craggy Island if it's near you.

New centre better than old imo!

[D-Angle]

If you didn't feel miserable, then it would have been 5 1/2 years wasted. My ex left me after 6 years, and I felt exactly the same. Believe me it does get better.

[Jasandjules]

Keep reminding yourself why you split up.

[dmitsi]

You have to get out and start to be yourself. I'm single as of last Friday, we were together two years, but frankly it'd been going off since October. We were in different places (geographically and mentally). I feel a sense of responsibilty, but have made it clear we can talk whenever need be. Space is very important, you don't have to answer the call you know.

Best of luck with feeling better, I'll pop up to Surrey if you fancy a rebound lay and aren't a munter

Seriously just go out with friends, but don't wear yourself out. Focus the mind on something productive that will enhance your life. Stay cool like Fonzy.

[captainzep]

parakitaMol. said:

Check out Craggy Island if it's near you.

?

parakitaMol. said:

Stay well away from new relationships (including casual sex ones) for a good 6 - 12 months at least. Despite what the men will predictably say !

Hey there. Whoa. Don't characterise men as one homogenous lump. We're all members of planet human, OK? One nation under a groove.

As it happens I agree with parakitaMol. A single woman starved of sex for a year is a much more interesting proposition. 73% dirtier and suggestible.

Edited by captainzep on Monday 18th May 13:31

[parakitaMol.]

captainzep said:

parakitaMol. said:

Check out Craggy Island if it's near you.

?

It is a climbing wall and refers to the OP's profile location and the suggestion of new activities.

captainzep said:

Hey there. Whoa. Don't characterise men as one homogenous lump. We're all members of planet human, OK? One nation under a groove.

You missed the point - men generally suggest 'getting laid' as a fix - which might work for men, it rarely does for women - which the OP is.

Edited by parakitaMol. on Monday 18th May 13:47

[Mobile Chicane]

In three months time he'll be boning someone else, and you can feel better about the situation. Trust me on this one.

[MitchT]

Cap'n Custud said:

I feel awful now for ending this though I know somewhere deep down it was the right thing to do. Will the guilt ever pass?

I miss his friendship and his company but I just can't see him as a boyfriend anymore.

You sound like my ex. This is her stance on her split with me. She's very sad that it didn't work out and that she has lost me as a friend, but she was no longer in love with me so it had to end. If he didn't want to split (like I didn't) then he'll be feeling a whole lot worse than you, so just spare a thought for him and ride it out.

[captainzep]

parakitaMol. said:

captainzep said:

parakitaMol. said:

Check out Craggy Island if it's near you.

?

It is a climbing wall and refers to the OP's profile location and the suggestion of new activities.

There's a climbing wall on Craggy island? Who'd have thought it Ted?!

parakitaMol. said:

captainzep said:

Hey there. Whoa. Don't characterise men as one homogenous lump. We're all members of planet human, OK? One nation under a groove.

You missed the point - men generally suggest 'getting laid' as a fix - which might work for men, it rarely does for women - which the OP is.

I usually miss the point. But I missed it a smidgeon less this time because I was merely putting in a mock protest against stereotyping men, -shortly before saying something crass and stereotypically male. For lower level comedy effect. Both you and the OP have my humble mumbled apologies as I make you both a cup of tea whilst getting my coat.

[Cap'n Custud]

MitchT said:

Cap'n Custud said:

I feel awful now for ending this though I know somewhere deep down it was the right thing to do. Will the guilt ever pass?

I miss his friendship and his company but I just can't see him as a boyfriend anymore.

You sound like my ex. This is her stance on her split with me. She's very sad that it didn't work out and that she has lost me as a friend, but she was no longer in love with me so it had to end. If he didn't want to split (like I didn't) then he'll be feeling a whole lot worse than you, so just spare a thought for him and ride it out.

Spot on. That is exactly the situation. I do spare a thought for him, 5 years is a big friendship I just wish some of the nastiness of the past 14 or so months hadn't happened!

[Penny-lope]

I left my partner of 15 years, two years ago, and if I am honest I still feel guilty now and then. But it gets less and less every day (or at least every time he fks me off )

If in your head somewhere there is something telling you that you did the right thing, then one day you won't feel guilty....just takes a while

[tricky69]

Cap'n Custud said:

Well it's been a long few months but finally things are coming to a close with me and my ex boyfriend of 5 1/2 years. So why do I feel so rotten? I was the one who left him and I handled it so badly, he did too and his persistance scared me off.

I feel awful now for ending this though I know somewhere deep down it was the right thing to do. Will the guilt ever pass?

I miss his friendship and his company but I just can't see him as a boyfriend anymore. Lord I am hurting right now....

I was going out with one girl for about 4 years... if your ex is anything like most men is feeling massivly relieved not too waste any more time on a dead relationship and already moved on, not saying he is slaying someone else but feeling a great sense of freedom

[madbadger]

Chin up Den.

It will get better.