Restraining Order/Injunction
Discussion
How easy is it to get one, and what constitutes good reason?
My son (aged 24) had a relationship with a woman for a while, during which she spun a few good ones off him (sudden introduction of her child , born whilst she was a minor, a year into the relationship, and then a phantom pregnancy, etc etc) but nothing which might generally be considered to be outside the mantra of an ordinarily messy relationship. However, since they split up 6 months or so back, she's turned the wick up, and has so far accomplished (amongst several other minor incidents):
- having had him falsely arrested for assault (no charges subsequently brought)
- having his car smashed to bits with a variety of heavy objects (believed to have been done by her jailbird brother and his scuzzy mate, although no proof outside her singing about it)
- writing a variety of scurrilous and defamatory comments all over the web (Facebook, Bebo etc)
He took what I thought was the sensible option and decided to fvck off abroad for the summer, as there wasn't much keeping him here other than the desire to shut her up for good, and went 2 weeks ago. However, he's sent me a mail today telling me that he's just been told that she's now booked a holiday to the same resort that he's in (we don't yet know who told her where he is). He says he's coming home again, flying back the day before she arrives.
Now clearly he could man up and just kick the silly b
h in the and be done with it, but given the history and the family background, I sense that taking that approach would just up the ante even more. I think it's time to go back to the authorities and get some sort of restraining order on her, although whether even that would work is questionable. So, over to the PH massif to:
a. jeer
b. make useless suggestions
c. actually come up with some way of dealing with this
Away you go......
My son (aged 24) had a relationship with a woman for a while, during which she spun a few good ones off him (sudden introduction of her child , born whilst she was a minor, a year into the relationship, and then a phantom pregnancy, etc etc) but nothing which might generally be considered to be outside the mantra of an ordinarily messy relationship. However, since they split up 6 months or so back, she's turned the wick up, and has so far accomplished (amongst several other minor incidents):
- having had him falsely arrested for assault (no charges subsequently brought)
- having his car smashed to bits with a variety of heavy objects (believed to have been done by her jailbird brother and his scuzzy mate, although no proof outside her singing about it)
- writing a variety of scurrilous and defamatory comments all over the web (Facebook, Bebo etc)
He took what I thought was the sensible option and decided to fvck off abroad for the summer, as there wasn't much keeping him here other than the desire to shut her up for good, and went 2 weeks ago. However, he's sent me a mail today telling me that he's just been told that she's now booked a holiday to the same resort that he's in (we don't yet know who told her where he is). He says he's coming home again, flying back the day before she arrives.
Now clearly he could man up and just kick the silly b
h in the and be done with it, but given the history and the family background, I sense that taking that approach would just up the ante even more. I think it's time to go back to the authorities and get some sort of restraining order on her, although whether even that would work is questionable. So, over to the PH massif to:a. jeer
b. make useless suggestions
c. actually come up with some way of dealing with this
Away you go......
Jgtv said:
Why he should have to come home rather than just avoid the cow I have no idea.
I'm guessing that you live a fairly sheltered life.Given that he managed to evade false charges and accusations over here, where he speaks the language and we're not entirely living in a police state, if it were you would you hang around abroad to see what she accuses you of next so that you can spend the next x years languishing in a foreign jail?
No, thought not.
Dupont666 said:
so she is going to the same resort???
Why does that mean he comes home... just stay away fom here or move resorts??
Plus hes a stupid tt for telling anyone where he was going to other than far away, sounds like he brought that on himself
Yes, same resort and quite clearly only to hassle him. I guess he could move for a couple of weeks, that may be an option, but the root cause needs dealing with. She's that unhinged that who knows what she's capable of next and where that could land him.Why does that mean he comes home... just stay away fom here or move resorts??
Plus hes a stupid t
t for telling anyone where he was going to other than far away, sounds like he brought that on himselfAs for telling people, he told a few "close" mates - it's times like this, etc etc.......
Dupont666 said:
so she is going to the same resort???
Why does that mean he comes home... just stay away fom here or move resorts??
Plus hes a stupid tt for telling anyone where he was going to other than far away, sounds like he brought that on himself
Steady on there chap. Why does that mean he comes home... just stay away fom here or move resorts??
Plus hes a stupid t
t for telling anyone where he was going to other than far away, sounds like he brought that on himselfBy the sounds of things, he kept his whereabouts quiet, but someone has been digging.
However, I have to ask why the Police have not been contacted already? If anything I would certainly have drawn the line at the car being vandalised.
C8PPO said:
Jgtv said:
Why he should have to come home rather than just avoid the cow I have no idea.
I'm guessing that you live a fairly sheltered life.Given that he managed to evade false charges and accusations over here, where he speaks the language and we're not entirely living in a police state, if it were you would you hang around abroad to see what she accuses you of next so that you can spend the next x years languishing in a foreign jail?
No, thought not.
But really he felt the need to come home! there is no chance he could have just kept his head down avoided her and got on with his work ( I assume he is working out there) explain the situation to his boss and stay off the booze while she is out there not to get tempted to lose his rag with her.
Sorry but he is running away from his problems, I don't think anyone should be doing that, if he is out working in some completely backward country I would agree but the chances are he is just done on the med right not exactly?
If he's on holiday for the whole summer, why doesn't he just move on to a different place and not tell anyone where he's going?
I actually very much doubt she's going to the same place as him anyway - she's probably just said it to wind him/you up.
Tell him to stay where he is. If she shows up, pack up overnight and move on.
Just ignore her. By paying her attention you're giving her more ammunition...
I actually very much doubt she's going to the same place as him anyway - she's probably just said it to wind him/you up.
Tell him to stay where he is. If she shows up, pack up overnight and move on.
Just ignore her. By paying her attention you're giving her more ammunition...
john_p said:
Keep a record of all things that have happened. Once you have a good few comments, make a harassment complaint to police.
She will no doubt be arrested and spoken to so be prepared for comeback on that if she has scummy relatives...
She will no doubt be arrested and spoken to so be prepared for comeback on that if she has scummy relatives...
Details, times, dates, photos, witnesses, the works.
Sounds really nasty and I think he was right to come back from the holiday - as you said, just too great a risk. Could also potentially get him stopped at the airport and all sorts of other unpleasantries.
I went through something similar about 14-15 years ago when I was roughly the same age.
I got accused of all sorts after the break-up, all of it bks. I moved several times within the local area and she still managed to find me and continue the grief. It took close to a year, but she finally gave up. Unfortunatly there was a bit of a punch-up at the end with some random bloke she had got together with. After that happened there was nothing more from her.
Thankfully in those days the internet wasn't really off the ground or it may have gone on longer.
All he can do is stick it out and avoid her. He's probably right to come back here while she's at the resort. You never know what may happen or be said that could end up harming him.
Good luck, you'll need it.
I got accused of all sorts after the break-up, all of it b
ks. I moved several times within the local area and she still managed to find me and continue the grief. It took close to a year, but she finally gave up. Unfortunatly there was a bit of a punch-up at the end with some random bloke she had got together with. After that happened there was nothing more from her.Thankfully in those days the internet wasn't really off the ground or it may have gone on longer.
All he can do is stick it out and avoid her. He's probably right to come back here while she's at the resort. You never know what may happen or be said that could end up harming him.
Good luck, you'll need it.
Make sure they're in the same public place at the same time and when she has a go at him get him to loudly, but sensibly tell her, in front of the gathered public, that she's pathetic for doing all of the useless and sad things she's been doing to him for the last year or so. Tell him to list them but to keep calm while he's doing it and at the very end of it get him to explain to her, with everyone listening, that she's a pathetic excuse for a woman and needs to grow up and move on with her life.
Then, walk away. At this point people who need to be aware of her will be and she'll probably be suitably embarassed not to try and give grief again. Nothing like a subtle public humiliation to shut fkwits up. 
Then, walk away. At this point people who need to be aware of her will be and she'll probably be suitably embarassed not to try and give grief again. Nothing like a subtle public humiliation to shut f
kwits up. Edited by Racefan_uk on Friday 22 May 17:28
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