My forthcoming stag do........ooohhhh sh......TTTT

[leeb]

So, its my stag do this saturday, 11 of us off for a day of quads, hovercrafting, comedy club then god knows what in bristol.

So far i have had 3 of my mates today on the phone, are you ready mate, dont worry about clothes we will look after ya, oh bring your passport.

Now i have organised it, so all they know location wise is bristol, no hotel address or any other details.

I do feel however, that i am going to get well and truly screwed over!!!

So now is as good a time as any, what are your stag night experiences.....from stag or tosser mates???

Edited by leeb on Monday 1st June 15:45

[schmalex]

Myself and pretty much all my mates got married around the same time, so we had 18 months of Stag do's pretty much every 2 or 3 months.

Not one of us got screwed over by the other mates, as we all agreed that we would be pretty grown up about the whole thing & go away, get trashed, relentlessly shark women & generally have a laugh, but draw the line at stupid pranks.

Sorry for putting a downer on it, but it is more than possible to have a brilliant stag do with looking like a bunch of cocks

[Dixie68]

Spent most of mine in A&E as my Dad blacked out, slid off his bar stool and cracked his head on the floor.
He was drinking with 4 RAF Linies, 2 Para's, 2 Royal Marines and several RN personnel. Still, at least we all knew first aid

[dirty boy]

I woke up in a bed with 2 other men

I was naked

Wasn't even my stag.

How cool is that!

[rhinochopig]

Stole the Stag's clothes and wallet whilst he was in the shower. Left red polka dot dress and red patent leather handbag on the bed with a post-it note saying where we'd be. Half an hour later he turned up looking as pretty as a picture. An added bonus was that it was also the Gay mardi gras that weekend. Stag turned out to be very popular, especially when he went to the toilet.

[sleep envy]

went on stag do a few weeks back - thursday to sunday

by midday on sat the groom was in hospital with alcohol poisoning, he needed 6 bags of sailine to rehydrate him and was still in a wheelchair for a further 24 hours as he was still pissed

the lightweight

[Cara Van Man]

sleep envy said:

wheelchair for a further 24 hours.

I hope it made pushing him from pub to pub easier.

[Dupont666]

Wasnt there one person that hired a midget and they handcuffed the lovely couple together all weekend so the stag had to take him everywhere?

Also forgot to say I only remembered about 5 mins before it happened that paintballing means the stag AND BESTMAN get equal shares of the pain... as a plus point we did get a tandom lapdance of 2 lovely women in the local strip joint and got a few extras not on the usual list of lap dances

Edited by Dupont666 on Monday 1st June 16:06

[sleep envy]

we collecting him from A&E an then took him to the pub and sat him in the beer garden with an OJ and a pack of crisps

somone took a pic of him in the hospital whilst he was slumped in the wheelchair with one of those paper bowls full of puke on his lap

it's been 'shopped so it looks like Lou Todd is pushing him around

[john_p]

My uncle's group of friends used to get into regular one upmanship on stag dos. The groom handcuffed, naked, to the cistern in the ladies' toilet was one story he likes to tell.

Or the authentic ball-and-chain they had specially imported from Germany - then attached to the groom's leg. By all accounts it had to be removed by the fire brigade and the groom hobbled down the aisle on his special day. Never spoke to any of his 'stag' members ever again

[rhinochopig]

One of the funniest tales, for the mental image painted, I ever heard about a stag weekend was told to me by one one of the paintball staff at a Stag I was on.

A very still drunk/hungover stag had reluctantly turned up for a game with his mates. After a while he'd got quite into and jumped out in front of one of his mates to surprise him. His mate jumped, and then shot him straight in the bks.

The staff member who was recounting the tale said that he'd heard this strange wailing noise and observed the stag emerge from the bushes limping like a 5 year old boy that had skinned his knee and needed his mummy. As he got closer he could hear him gently sobbing to himself and noticed the partially digested shredded wheat that was hanging/dripping from the vents in the face mask. As he'd been hit squarely in the jewels, he'd involuntarily puked into his mask (which had filled it) and was slowly leaking out of the gaps.

[Poledriver]

Dupont666 said:

Wasnt there one person that hired a midget and they handcuffed the lovely couple together all weekend so the stag had to take him everywhere?

That was at one which I "attended" The nidget got pissed and was paid to do it! He also had good fun with the stripper as they would not let him away from the stag!

[FWDRacer]

We pushed our stag round wearing a horses head whilst bound onto a (washing machine) delivery truck. He couldn't get in the curry house physically, so we propped him up at the window so he could see us tucking in.

Hardly got a second look in South Wales

[Neil_H]

One of my mates was doing a run-of-the-mill pub crawl when they encountered a hen night, so they handcuffed him with the hen from the other group.

At some point in the evening she decided she needed to 'drop some friends off at the pool' so he had to go into the cubicle while she curled one out.

[Cara Van Man]

Neil_H said:

One of my mates was doing a run-of-the-mill pub crawl when they encountered a hen night, so they handcuffed him with the hen from the other group.

At some point in the evening she decided she needed to 'drop some friends off at the pool' so he had to go into the cubicle while she curled one out.

fk me!.

Poor girl.

At least it wasn't the other way around.

[sleep envy]

Neil_H said:

One of my mates was doing a run-of-the-mill pub crawl when they encountered a hen night, so they handcuffed him with the hen from the other group.

At some point in the evening she decided she needed to 'drop some friends off at the pool' so he had to go into the cubicle while she curled one out.

was he hand cuffed to her wiping hand?

[RVVUNM]

I got tarred and feathered at Le Mans two years ago, thankfully my mates used golden syrup instead of tar.

[Poledriver]

RVVUNM said:

I got tarred and feathered at Le Mans two years ago, thankfully my mates used golden syrup instead of tar.

Did they follow that up with wasps or ants?

[Dupont666]

Neil_H said:

One of my mates was doing a run-of-the-mill pub crawl when they encountered a hen night, so they handcuffed him with the hen from the other group.

At some point in the evening she decided she needed to 'drop some friends off at the pool' so he had to go into the cubicle while she curled one out.

we almost did that after my mate had had a huge night the day before on guiness and curry, knowing full well the outcome, he didnt care the rest of the hen party thought it would be good until one of them overhead what the groom had been up to the previous night.... so they declined

So we attached big gob to the groom and took great delight at his screams from the bathroon as the groom unloaded 3 hours and 5 pints of guiness later.

[Jasandjules]

A friend of the family went abroad for the stag do, cleverly going two days before the wedding. Unfortunately, something went wrong (involving booze and some of Holland's cakes) and they missed the ferry back to the UK, and the wedding day... To say that the bride was f***ed off would be like saying Hitler had a slight disagreement with minorities.