Someone make up a dream for me, I'm too lazy..
Discussion
Right. So have a text from this bloody girl I like this morning 'ha, dreamt of you'. That's good, right? Dumb me replied, 'wow, strange, I dreamt of you too' (knew she would eat it up).
Later in the day - 'so what was your dream?'. Except I didn't have one. So now can someone please make up a dream that is both romantic but not overtly sexual.. and strange at the same time, because I'm busy at work... thanks!
(bullet points are fine, I'll add in the details)
Later in the day - 'so what was your dream?'. Except I didn't have one. So now can someone please make up a dream that is both romantic but not overtly sexual.. and strange at the same time, because I'm busy at work... thanks!
(bullet points are fine, I'll add in the details)
f13ldy said:
You put a bag over her head, bundled her into the boot of your car and chucked her off a large bridge.
If that don't make her weak at the knees move her along.
Na I think what you should be saying to make her weak at the knees.... is reenacting a certain scene from misery with her, or a certain scene from boxing Helena.If that don't make her weak at the knees move her along.
That should assist you
I work with someone from some sandy country the name of which escapes me.
He told me the other day he dreamed he was 'making love' to his ex girlfriend under the stars in the desert and he would kill the barsteward who married her.
As he was telling me this he had his eyes closed and was rocking back and forth.
By the time he opened his eyes I was gone.
Don't tell her that one.
He told me the other day he dreamed he was 'making love' to his ex girlfriend under the stars in the desert and he would kill the barsteward who married her.
As he was telling me this he had his eyes closed and was rocking back and forth.
By the time he opened his eyes I was gone.
Don't tell her that one.
- she was there
- The pussy cat dolls turn up
- Hamilton turns up and asks you if you want his girlfriend or the car
- You turn into Optimus Prime and take both the girlfriend and the car
- You then set the lap record at monaco
- You bone all of the pussy cat dolls still in the form of Optimus Prime
Edited by SoapyShowerBoy on Thursday 4th June 11:35
SoapyShowerBoy said:
*she was there
Isn't one of them a man?!- The pussy cat dolls turn up
- Hamilton turns up and asks you if you want his girlfriend or the car
- You turn into Optimus Prime and take both the girlfriend and the car
- You then set the lap record at monaco
- You bone all of the pussy cat dolls still in the form of Optimus Prime
Edited by SoapyShowerBoy on Thursday 4th June 11:35
A+ for effort though..
SoapyShowerBoy said:
*she was there
Whenever i see your name all i can think of is Rape on a Rope- The pussy cat dolls turn up
- Hamilton turns up and asks you if you want his girlfriend or the car
- You turn into Optimus Prime and take both the girlfriend and the car
- You then set the lap record at monaco
- You bone all of the pussy cat dolls still in the form of Optimus Prime
Edited by SoapyShowerBoy on Thursday 4th June 11:35
- I was riding a motorbike in a race
- I saw you standing in front of a large mirror
- I pulled you into the mirror and into a strange world
- We were chased by two motorcycle riders around a strange looking room
- everything was in black and white
- I pushed you back through the mirror into you bedroom so you would be safe
Should do the trick
- You spotted her across the dance floor at a club.
- Both smiled at each other.
- Went up and danced togeather.
- You then lost her.
- Went looking for her as you were worried.
- Found her passed out somewhere and tried to help her.
- Realised she was to fat to lift so you chucked your load up her and went home.
Anything from here should do...
Part 1 of the Romance Book said:
"Oo'd djoo say yoo woz," she screeched, as my hairy pelvis slapped
against her pale bruised thighs, "Caancil?"
"No love," I grunted, pausing to take a sip from the bottle of cider
on her bedside table, "Sky. I'm here to fix your Sky."
She took a draw on her cigarette, and looked down at my turgid drill-
bit, ploughing the greasy fold. She blew smoke down there, the artful
cow, so it encircled my hips.
"Shaat yowr fackin WHINING!" she screamed through to the bawling
children in the next room, almost putting me off my stroke.
I gazed into her blackened and bloodshot eyes.
Huh, I mused to myself, as I thumped a hairy knuckle into one of her
pale, chewed and veiny topsies.
So this is what love feels like.
Part 2 of the Romance Book said:
"Uh... uh... Embassy Regal...oh... oh... scratchcards..."
Christ, I think, looking up. She's writhing around like a loony, her
eyes rolling back in her head.
I try to shift her off me, but she's clamped tight.
Oh great. She's stuck in a "cum loop".
I've seen this before, of course. This is why I had my pelvis
reinforced with titanium.
I look at my watch. Jesus. There's nothing for it. I have to get her
off. The bookies opens in half an hour.
I pick up the cider bottle, now empty, and swing in into her face,
whack!
She slumps off me, and onto the floor, where she lies amidst the
cigarette butts and empty crisp packets.
Christ, this girl loves Monster Munch.
And she looks so horny, lying there with her teeth all smashed out,
and that freaky yellow stuff coming out of her ears.
Peaceful like.
I pull on my leather dungarees and my "sex boots", and tighten the
surgical chest strap that holds my "vitals" in place. Mechanical
organs and such.
I check her wrist for a pulse.
Oh.
Sad, that.
See Rammage, I tell myself, that what love'll do to you, you damn fool.
I let myself out of her dreadful flat to the sound of her screaming
brats.
And as I walk back to my van with a heavy heart, I think, must ring
social services. Yes, from a callbox. After the bookies.
If I remember.
Courtesy of Rod...
ETA Personally I'd tell her you reckon she has an a
hole like a broken catflap.
HTH.
Part 1 of the Romance Book said:
"Oo'd djoo say yoo woz," she screeched, as my hairy pelvis slapped
against her pale bruised thighs, "Caancil?"
"No love," I grunted, pausing to take a sip from the bottle of cider
on her bedside table, "Sky. I'm here to fix your Sky."
She took a draw on her cigarette, and looked down at my turgid drill-
bit, ploughing the greasy fold. She blew smoke down there, the artful
cow, so it encircled my hips.
"Shaat yowr fackin WHINING!" she screamed through to the bawling
children in the next room, almost putting me off my stroke.
I gazed into her blackened and bloodshot eyes.
Huh, I mused to myself, as I thumped a hairy knuckle into one of her
pale, chewed and veiny topsies.
So this is what love feels like.
Part 2 of the Romance Book said:
"Uh... uh... Embassy Regal...oh... oh... scratchcards..."
Christ, I think, looking up. She's writhing around like a loony, her
eyes rolling back in her head.
I try to shift her off me, but she's clamped tight.
Oh great. She's stuck in a "cum loop".
I've seen this before, of course. This is why I had my pelvis
reinforced with titanium.
I look at my watch. Jesus. There's nothing for it. I have to get her
off. The bookies opens in half an hour.
I pick up the cider bottle, now empty, and swing in into her face,
whack!
She slumps off me, and onto the floor, where she lies amidst the
cigarette butts and empty crisp packets.
Christ, this girl loves Monster Munch.
And she looks so horny, lying there with her teeth all smashed out,
and that freaky yellow stuff coming out of her ears.
Peaceful like.
I pull on my leather dungarees and my "sex boots", and tighten the
surgical chest strap that holds my "vitals" in place. Mechanical
organs and such.
I check her wrist for a pulse.
Oh.
Sad, that.
See Rammage, I tell myself, that what love'll do to you, you damn fool.
I let myself out of her dreadful flat to the sound of her screaming
brats.
And as I walk back to my van with a heavy heart, I think, must ring
social services. Yes, from a callbox. After the bookies.
If I remember.
Courtesy of Rod...
ETA Personally I'd tell her you reckon she has an a
hole like a broken catflap.HTH.
Edited by LukeBird on Thursday 4th June 11:47
You were on holiday, on a sunny beach..like the one in the film (she'll love that...unless she's albino)
You were both in the water having a hug, when spongebob square pants came out the water and started talking to you about his next car choice.
Ohh fk this I'm crap at this kind of thing, then some weird st happenend, back doors, oxo tower, MX5.....lady gaga's a hermaphrodite.
Fact!
You were both in the water having a hug, when spongebob square pants came out the water and started talking to you about his next car choice.
Ohh f
k this I'm crap at this kind of thing, then some weird st happenend, back doors, oxo tower, MX5.....lady gaga's a hermaphrodite.Fact!
David Thorne said:
I hate it when people tell me "I had a weird dream last night...". I dont care, it didn't really happen and it is going to be boring. Just because you dreamt it doesn't make it interesting to anyone. I knew someone who told me a dream and it went on for about twenty minutes. That is nineteen minutes and sixty seconds longer than I have to care about something that didn't really happen. Another time she was telling me about a dream her auntie had, so not only was I listening to something that didn't really happen, I was listening to something that didn't really happen to someone I didn't even know. I glass over and my mind wanders after the words "I had a weird dream last night..." so it is just a waste of everyones time. The statement she made, "If you cared about me you would be interested in my dreams", I will put down to the fact that she was an idiot and possibly slightly crazy because she owned more than two cats.
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