S:censored:ty Kids!!!!!!
Discussion
Just Got back in from a Trip to IKEA, not really the favored 'man' trip lets be honest.
I've been putting off the 'adventure' for a few days (excuse: it'll be quieter on Monday Mornings
)
Anyway I get there and have the list from OH
(shes at work) and know the general locations of the list items (Remember Kids Preparation is the key to survival 
).
Amazingly I get parked only a few yards from the Lifts (damn Disabled/Family spaces were between us) and I enter the store and make my First and Only Mistake (past going in to IKEA
)I decide to go have a browse of the 'Living Room' section on my way to the sofa/chair area (main item on list was armchair)
F
K ME!!! I get halfway into the section I get hit by the smell of ST! 
the place reeked as I push through the hordes of families (so much for 'quiet' 
) I figure out the smell is coming from the Kiddy Changing Facilities
Then, just as I figure this out, I hear a Staff member telling another that someone has blocked the lavs with a diaper cause the 'Nappy bin' was full!! For FK Sake! What kind of Dumbas Bd Fking Moron tries to flush a Nappy!!I'm NOT a parent but even I KNOW THAT !!!!!!
I finally get away from the smell when I get to Bookcase/Cabinet area. There are a few displays around so have a snoop, only to stick my head round a office display to see a Mom changing her Kid on the Sofa in the display and yep it was a Fing Cp and Yep it Fing REEKED!!!
I go 'shelter' in the restaurant and have a Brew before running the final Gauntlet of Kids Section and 'Marketplace'
As I rush through the Kids Section I catch whiff of ST again and see a woman Changing another child on one of the display 'changing table' thinga-ma-jigs
I manage to navigate the 'Marketplace' quickly and acquire the List of Items ( see that preparation does help ) and get through the tills.
As I'm heading for the door I get intercepted by a Customer Service Bod wanting my opinion/summary of the 'IKEA shopping Experience'
'ding-ding' MY TURN so I responded...
"My summary of the IKEA shopping experience today would be.......
ST!!"
and walked out
I realise, before the PistonHeads Association of Parents (or PHAPs) jump on me, that kids (especially <3yo) do have accidents, I have also learned over the years that CP stinks.
But for FK Sake! If an establishment has provided you with the facilities USE THEM, even if they smell of ST (your gonna smell st anyway changing yours) And if they are Un-usable/Occupied go change them in the Lavs!! not on the Display pieces for everyone to see/experience/gag at....and not where some unlucky FER might later sit 'trying out' an item
..aannndd unclench
..
...Right I have some Furniture to assemble before the OH gets back......expect another Rant in 1-2 hours about 'Flat Fing Packed Furiture'
I've been putting off the 'adventure' for a few days (excuse: it'll be quieter on Monday Mornings
)Anyway I get there and have the list from OH
(shes at work) and know the general locations of the list items (Remember Kids Preparation is the key to survival ). Amazingly I get parked only a few yards from the Lifts (damn Disabled/Family spaces were between us) and I enter the store and make my First and Only Mistake (past going in to IKEA
)I decide to go have a browse of the 'Living Room' section on my way to the sofa/chair area (main item on list was armchair) F
K ME!!! I get halfway into the section I get hit by the smell of ST! the place reeked as I push through the hordes of families (so much for 'quiet' ) I figure out the smell is coming from the Kiddy Changing Facilities Then, just as I figure this out, I hear a Staff member telling another that someone has blocked the lavs with a diaper cause the 'Nappy bin' was full!!
For FK Sake! What kind of Dumbas Bd Fking Moron tries to flush a Nappy!!I'm NOT a parent but even I KNOW THAT !!!!!!I finally get away from the smell when I get to Bookcase/Cabinet area. There are a few displays around so have a snoop, only to stick my head round a office display to see a Mom changing her Kid on the Sofa in the display
and yep it was a Fing Cp and Yep it Fing REEKED!!! I go 'shelter' in the restaurant and have a Brew before running the final Gauntlet of Kids Section and 'Marketplace'
As I rush through the Kids Section I catch whiff of S
T again and see a woman Changing another child on one of the display 'changing table' thinga-ma-jigs I manage to navigate the 'Marketplace' quickly and acquire the List of Items ( see that preparation does help
) and get through the tills.As I'm heading for the door I get intercepted by a Customer Service Bod wanting my opinion/summary of the 'IKEA shopping Experience'
'ding-ding' MY TURN so I responded..."My summary of the IKEA shopping experience today would be.......
ST!!"and walked out
I realise, before the PistonHeads Association of Parents (or PHAPs) jump on me, that kids (especially <3yo) do have accidents, I have also learned over the years that C
P stinks.But for F
K Sake! If an establishment has provided you with the facilities USE THEM, even if they smell of ST (your gonna smell st anyway changing yours) And if they are Un-usable/Occupied go change them in the Lavs!! not on the Display pieces for everyone to see/experience/gag at....and not where some unlucky FER might later sit 'trying out' an item ..aannndd unclench
.....Right I have some Furniture to assemble before the OH gets back......expect another Rant in 1-2 hours about 'Flat F
ing Packed Furiture' 
Thought this was going to be the rant of the day / week it certainly looked promising but there was a serious lack of reference to chavs, the workshy, benefit scroungers populating the country on our tax payers money and filling their council flats with Ikea merchandise.
You see its easy to have a good rant take my example above and add the necessary expletives.
4/10 from me. Must try harder.
You see its easy to have a good rant take my example above and add the necessary expletives.
4/10 from me. Must try harder.
dibbers006 said:
maxrider said:
What's with the 'Randomly Capitalised Words' in the OP?
Made it Annoyingly Unreadable.
[/irony]
I like 'Randomly Capitalised Words'... for ME, it adds EMPHASIS.Made it Annoyingly Unreadable.
[/irony]
k would you want to emphasise words like 'changing', 'lifts', 'staff', 'got' and the dozens of other words deemed to require a capital first letter? 
maxrider said:
dibbers006 said:
maxrider said:
What's with the 'Randomly Capitalised Words' in the OP?
Made it Annoyingly Unreadable.
[/irony]
I like 'Randomly Capitalised Words'... for ME, it adds EMPHASIS.Made it Annoyingly Unreadable.
[/irony]
k would you want to emphasise words like 'changing', 'lifts', 'staff', 'got' and the dozens of other words deemed to require a capital first letter? 
maxrider said:
dibbers006 said:
maxrider said:
What's with the 'Randomly Capitalised Words' in the OP?
Made it Annoyingly Unreadable.
[/irony]
I like 'Randomly Capitalised Words'... for ME, it adds EMPHASIS.Made it Annoyingly Unreadable.
[/irony]
k would you want to emphasise words like 'changing', 'lifts', 'staff', 'got' and the dozens of other words deemed to require a capital first letter? 
Yeah you Stupid t
t... Type properly damn You.ph1l5 said:
You should of told your woman as it is " I am going to the Petrolhead Nirvana meet at the Ace Cafe tonight, and I MIGHT stop off to Ikea on my way back" Job done.
Erm...yes..I might of...although turning up to such events with a piece of POANG sticking outta my pu-tang might cause some irritation for me ..and consternation from the crowd Gassing Station | The Lounge | Top of Page | What's New | My Stuff