Saturday afternoon rant
Saturday afternoon rant
Author
Discussion

andthensome

Original Poster:

3,296 posts

208 months

Saturday 20th June 2009
quotequote all
Who uses a horse and cart to take them to a fking wedding? I must have been at this junction for fking ages before i realised what was causing it, two very smug s who thought they were having the best day of their life but were actually just causing fking mayhem on the roads. Then i get up to tescos which is packed and find a space in the middle of nowhere only for me to turn round and come pulls right in next to me , the whole fking car park mate and you choose to park right next to me? you fking scrote!
Finally in tescos, which is a 2 min drive from my house has now taken 20min, so i really wasnt in the mood to be queuing but tescos are so fking smart they put only a few of the millions of tills they have so the queues are just stupidly wrong, i only wanted to get a fathers day car ( which is actually a good one for once!) and ive now got to wait for ages. Then theres some stupid short arse bint standing behind me close enough that she could count how many hairs i had on my head and poking me in the back so many fking times i almost needed to give her a fking shove away. Then at the self checkout scanners it takes ages and fking ages for it to load fanfkingtastic ,another 5min then some tt decides to break the one next to me so i havnt got a chance for the ugly who works there to sort mine out. Now finally on my way i have some woman nearly follow me to my car asking for money to help stray cats. Seriously who comes up with these charities? Its a fking ressesion and you want money to help some fking cats? well fk right off you homeless fking bint ive not got enough money as it is the last thing i want to do is hand over my money to you , you stupid fking tt

Rant over

Hammer67

6,298 posts

206 months

Saturday 20th June 2009
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Nice darts. 7/10

skip_1

3,496 posts

212 months

Saturday 20th June 2009
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7/10. Nice but maybe you should have really unleashed the FURY?

TheEnd

15,370 posts

210 months

Saturday 20th June 2009
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I can't help thinking off that runaway wedding horse a few months back, there was even cctv of it bolting past a pub with a screaming bride in the back.

She was injured slightly, so obviously i didn't find it funny, and i'm not laughing right now...

pokethepope

2,666 posts

210 months

Saturday 20th June 2009
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You drove two minutes to get a card, why not just walk or cycle?

mybrainhurts

90,809 posts

277 months

Saturday 20th June 2009
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pokethepope said:
You drove two minutes to get a card, why not just walk or cycle?
You just don't get it, do you...?

We must increase our carbon footprints...

Georgiegirl

869 posts

231 months

Saturday 20th June 2009
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That happened to me this afternoon too.....Martlesham?

pits

6,643 posts

212 months

Saturday 20th June 2009
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6/10 lack of paragraphs so gave up, started good though

CommanderJameson

22,096 posts

248 months

Saturday 20th June 2009
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tl;dr

Zippee

13,918 posts

256 months

Saturday 20th June 2009
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I know what you mean about people standing really close when queing and its infuriating. If you move forward a foot to put some room between you they always follow suit and move a foot as well. What really annoys them is when the person in front of you moves forward a couple of paces and you stay just where you are. The frustration of the person behind (after they've automatically tried to move forward) at not getting that extra couple of steps closer to their goal is very funny!

Pigeon

18,535 posts

268 months

Saturday 20th June 2009
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Thing to do is act as if you had no idea someone was standing so ridiculously close behind. Alleviate the boredom of queueing by swaying backwards and forwards, pretending not to notice that you're colliding with them on every rearward swing. Fling your arm behind you to scratch your back and ignore the fact that you've hit them. Fart. Take your jumper off and then sling it casually over your shoulder and into their face. If you have an umbrella stick it under your arm with the point facing backwards.

Alfanatic

9,339 posts

241 months

Saturday 20th June 2009
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Or just turn around and face them. Most get uncomfortable very quickly and give you some space.




most, not all....

andthensome

Original Poster:

3,296 posts

208 months

Sunday 21st June 2009
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Pigeon said:
Thing to do is act as if you had no idea someone was standing so ridiculously close behind. Alleviate the boredom of queueing by swaying backwards and forwards, pretending not to notice that you're colliding with them on every rearward swing. Fling your arm behind you to scratch your back and ignore the fact that you've hit them. Fart. Take your jumper off and then sling it casually over your shoulder and into their face. If you have an umbrella stick it under your arm with the point facing backwards.
Mehh its been done , they just take a battering