Bought a bottle of beer yesterday from a train station
Discussion
Yesterday was hot.
I was hot.
I was thirsty.
In fact, I was hot and thirsty.
Train stations are cold in winter and hot in summer.
Yesterday was hot in the train station.
I walked into a hot shop at the hot station.
I saw bottles of beer in the fridge.
The fridge was cold.
The beer was cold.
I was hot.
I bought a cold beer.
I then tried to remove lid from beer.
Lid was not a twisty one.
Lid stayed put.
I asked 'check-out Ahmed' for a bottle opener.
Request was denied.
Clarification was sort for reason for denial.
None was given.
I asked what he suggested and he said 'use a key or something.'
I gave him a key and the bottle and said 'show me'.
He refused because it was not company policy.
Beer grew warm.
Beer eventually got put into my fridge at home.
I used my own bottle opener to open the beer.
I drank the cold beer.
I won't buy beer from a train station again.
I was hot.
I was thirsty.
In fact, I was hot and thirsty.
Train stations are cold in winter and hot in summer.
Yesterday was hot in the train station.
I walked into a hot shop at the hot station.
I saw bottles of beer in the fridge.
The fridge was cold.
The beer was cold.
I was hot.
I bought a cold beer.
I then tried to remove lid from beer.
Lid was not a twisty one.
Lid stayed put.
I asked 'check-out Ahmed' for a bottle opener.
Request was denied.
Clarification was sort for reason for denial.
None was given.
I asked what he suggested and he said 'use a key or something.'
I gave him a key and the bottle and said 'show me'.
He refused because it was not company policy.
Beer grew warm.
Beer eventually got put into my fridge at home.
I used my own bottle opener to open the beer.
I drank the cold beer.
I won't buy beer from a train station again.
deadmau5 said:
Teeth and lighters are the prefered methods if there is no bottle opener to hand.
Could never do it with teeth - makes me wince whenever I see someone else doing it.I spent a good couple of hours mastering the lighter trick last summer after trying it once before. It was much harder than I remembered. Until I realised they were twistcaps
There must have been hundreds of "bottle opening tool opportunities" at the train station. Thin aluminium signs are perfect for this, or even on-street parking restriction signs. Ergo, you fail as a hunter-gatherer, beer-drinking man.
You have been banished to drinking those cans of Shandy that sweetshops used to sell, alongside Coke and Fanta.
You have been banished to drinking those cans of Shandy that sweetshops used to sell, alongside Coke and Fanta.
Famous Graham said:
deadmau5 said:
Teeth and lighters are the prefered methods if there is no bottle opener to hand.
Could never do it with teeth - makes me wince whenever I see someone else doing it.I spent a good couple of hours mastering the lighter trick last summer after trying it once before. It was much harder than I remembered. Until I realised they were twistcaps
Steps
1. Hold the beer close to the bottle cap in one hand. The gap between your fingers and lip of the bottle cap needs to be a little less than the width of your lighter. I guess a lighter is about 3 inches tall, 3/4 inches wide, and 1/4 inch thick.
2. You're going to use the bottom end of the lighter to remove the bottle cap, not the metal part. Hold the metal end of the lighter firmly in your other hand the same way you hold a box cutter.
3. Relax your hand on the beer, rest one edge of the lighter on the side of your finger closest to the bottle cap between two of your knuckles (e.g. the intermediate phalanx of your index finger), and push down enough on the lighter to slip the other edge up under the cap. The bottom of the lighter should now be standing up vertically between your finger and the lip of the bottle cap, trapped in a gap of 3/4 of an inch between your finger and the cap.
4. Squeeze down on the beer and you should feel one edge of the lighter digging into the flexed muscle between your knuckles on the side of your finger and the other edge should now be pushing up on the bottle cap causing it to dig into the soft plastic edge of your lighter. Most of the force required to pop off the bottle cap comes just from squeezing the beer so if you don't feel a lot of pressure on your finger, start over with your fingers just slightly closer to the cap.
5. While squeezing very hard on the beer for just a moment, push down on the metal end of the lighter. This will cause the lighter to bend the lip of the bottle cap out away from the beer bottle. If all goes well, the cap will fly off but if you manage to at least bend the cap a little, you're doing great; just start again on the other side of the cap and pry that side away from the bottle too.
Tips
• Instead of prying all the way around the bottle cap, optimize your technique by drying off your hands and wiping away the condensation on the beer bottle.
• If you squeeze really, really hard the cap will fly off without even prying on it: then, you can even do this trick with a hard lighter.
• Use the second bone from the tip of your index finger because the muscle there is pretty tough.
• If you don't have a lighter, you can use another unopened bottle of beer as a lever. Once you've finished the first five, you can take one of the bottle caps and put it back on an empty and use that one to open the last bottle.
Warnings
• Don't choke up on the lighter and don't push the lighter towards the beer. If you do and the lighter doesn't pop off the cap in the first try, you can cut your knuckle on the bottle cap.
• The lighter can burst if squeezed too hard...almost always this is due to the pressure of, for instance, throwing a lighter onto the ground. But if you've got a very strong grip, and you snap the lighter, be prepared for ringing in your ears!
• Once you learn this trick, you will be able to open a beer bottle with anything. Do not use a metal object to open beer this way, as it can chip the top of the bottle, causing the drinker to cut their lips on the broken glass.
Things you’ll need
• A bottle of beer
• A soft plastic lighter
1. Hold the beer close to the bottle cap in one hand. The gap between your fingers and lip of the bottle cap needs to be a little less than the width of your lighter. I guess a lighter is about 3 inches tall, 3/4 inches wide, and 1/4 inch thick.
2. You're going to use the bottom end of the lighter to remove the bottle cap, not the metal part. Hold the metal end of the lighter firmly in your other hand the same way you hold a box cutter.
3. Relax your hand on the beer, rest one edge of the lighter on the side of your finger closest to the bottle cap between two of your knuckles (e.g. the intermediate phalanx of your index finger), and push down enough on the lighter to slip the other edge up under the cap. The bottom of the lighter should now be standing up vertically between your finger and the lip of the bottle cap, trapped in a gap of 3/4 of an inch between your finger and the cap.
4. Squeeze down on the beer and you should feel one edge of the lighter digging into the flexed muscle between your knuckles on the side of your finger and the other edge should now be pushing up on the bottle cap causing it to dig into the soft plastic edge of your lighter. Most of the force required to pop off the bottle cap comes just from squeezing the beer so if you don't feel a lot of pressure on your finger, start over with your fingers just slightly closer to the cap.
5. While squeezing very hard on the beer for just a moment, push down on the metal end of the lighter. This will cause the lighter to bend the lip of the bottle cap out away from the beer bottle. If all goes well, the cap will fly off but if you manage to at least bend the cap a little, you're doing great; just start again on the other side of the cap and pry that side away from the bottle too.
Tips
• Instead of prying all the way around the bottle cap, optimize your technique by drying off your hands and wiping away the condensation on the beer bottle.
• If you squeeze really, really hard the cap will fly off without even prying on it: then, you can even do this trick with a hard lighter.
• Use the second bone from the tip of your index finger because the muscle there is pretty tough.
• If you don't have a lighter, you can use another unopened bottle of beer as a lever. Once you've finished the first five, you can take one of the bottle caps and put it back on an empty and use that one to open the last bottle.
Warnings
• Don't choke up on the lighter and don't push the lighter towards the beer. If you do and the lighter doesn't pop off the cap in the first try, you can cut your knuckle on the bottle cap.
• The lighter can burst if squeezed too hard...almost always this is due to the pressure of, for instance, throwing a lighter onto the ground. But if you've got a very strong grip, and you snap the lighter, be prepared for ringing in your ears!
• Once you learn this trick, you will be able to open a beer bottle with anything. Do not use a metal object to open beer this way, as it can chip the top of the bottle, causing the drinker to cut their lips on the broken glass.
Things you’ll need
• A bottle of beer
• A soft plastic lighter
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