Wanting to get married, not sure about wedding.
Discussion
Gosh, there is an awful lot of wedding talk on here at the moment so I may as well add another thread to the mix 
We will be getting married in the next few years and whilst I can't wait to be married I find myself having a major problem with the wedding. Essentially I'm from a very small family and don't feel comfortable rocking up along side my OH's bigger, more extravagent family especially as I'm mindful of how my (single) mother may feel which in turn is making me fell uncomfortable.
Has anyone else been in a similar situation and how did you deal with it?
Whilst my OH is not looking for wedding of the year she is certainly wanting some element of a 'fairytale' day and her family are supportive of that, I feel a major case of party pooping coming on!
We will be getting married in the next few years and whilst I can't wait to be married I find myself having a major problem with the wedding. Essentially I'm from a very small family and don't feel comfortable rocking up along side my OH's bigger, more extravagent family especially as I'm mindful of how my (single) mother may feel which in turn is making me fell uncomfortable.
Has anyone else been in a similar situation and how did you deal with it?
Whilst my OH is not looking for wedding of the year she is certainly wanting some element of a 'fairytale' day and her family are supportive of that, I feel a major case of party pooping coming on!
raf_gti said:
We will be getting married in the next few years ...
[This isn't aimed at you; more of a general query.]Why do some people aspire to be married so far in advance?
If a couple want to be married, why don't they just do it? Even organising the biggest bash in the world wouldn't take more than nine months.
It seems to be like people who say they are going to give up smoking at some future date; if they really wanted to give up they'd just do it.
No advice, but interested in replies. I'm in the same situation. My family consists of me and my mum (dad died last year).
OH and I have talked about getting married, he has a large family & loads of friends from childhood (always lived in the same area whereas I have moved around a lot). His idea of a wedding is a big traditional do with lots of people, trouble is, his guests could easily outnumber mine by about 5 or 6 times! My idea is something small and intimate. I guess it's about compromise but I'm actually not looking forward to the wedding bit very much, would quite happily slope off abroad just the 2 of us.
OH and I have talked about getting married, he has a large family & loads of friends from childhood (always lived in the same area whereas I have moved around a lot). His idea of a wedding is a big traditional do with lots of people, trouble is, his guests could easily outnumber mine by about 5 or 6 times! My idea is something small and intimate. I guess it's about compromise but I'm actually not looking forward to the wedding bit very much, would quite happily slope off abroad just the 2 of us.
FastLaneGirl said:
No advice, but interested in replies. I'm in the same situation. My family consists of me and my mum (dad died last year).
OH and I have talked about getting married, he has a large family & loads of friends from childhood (always lived in the same area whereas I have moved around a lot). His idea of a wedding is a big traditional do with lots of people, trouble is, his guests could easily outnumber mine by about 5 or 6 times! My idea is something small and intimate. I guess it's about compromise but I'm actually not looking forward to the wedding bit very much, would quite happily slope off abroad just the 2 of us.
Shall we swap OHs for the big day OH and I have talked about getting married, he has a large family & loads of friends from childhood (always lived in the same area whereas I have moved around a lot). His idea of a wedding is a big traditional do with lots of people, trouble is, his guests could easily outnumber mine by about 5 or 6 times! My idea is something small and intimate. I guess it's about compromise but I'm actually not looking forward to the wedding bit very much, would quite happily slope off abroad just the 2 of us.
You describe my situation perfectly, as lovely and accomodating as my 'new' family will be I just don't feel comfortable with being so vastly outnumbered!
V8mate>> We have been living together for over a year, bought a house and business together and whilst we are not 'officially' engaged as of yet it is going to be a case of when rather than if I propose! I think after all we have been through in a short space of time the lsat thing we need is having a wedding hanging over us.
But yes, I agree with you, I know people who have been engaged for 8+ years and that is something I really don't get.
I married my wife in her locality.
My family had to travel several hundred miles to be there - consequently it was only the close family that actually came. There were more of her family there since they were local.
It was FINE! Just don't worry about it.
To be honest it will be a compromise - she'll get what she wants and you will lump it. Do it with a smile. And get used to it, boy.
My family had to travel several hundred miles to be there - consequently it was only the close family that actually came. There were more of her family there since they were local.
It was FINE! Just don't worry about it.
To be honest it will be a compromise - she'll get what she wants and you will lump it. Do it with a smile. And get used to it, boy.
FastLaneGirl said:
No advice, but interested in replies. I'm in the same situation. My family consists of me and my mum (dad died last year).
OH and I have talked about getting married, he has a large family & loads of friends from childhood (always lived in the same area whereas I have moved around a lot). His idea of a wedding is a big traditional do with lots of people, trouble is, his guests could easily outnumber mine by about 5 or 6 times! My idea is something small and intimate. I guess it's about compromise but I'm actually not looking forward to the wedding bit very much, would quite happily slope off abroad just the 2 of us.
Self and OH are exactly the same - however I'm completely on board with how she wants to get hitched, so we're hopefully heading off to the US next year for a combined wedding/honeymoon/holiday type thing, no family invited from either side. Thankfully my younger sister got married recently so took a bit of the pressure off me to have a "proper" wedding. Still having a bit of a party when we get back though!OH and I have talked about getting married, he has a large family & loads of friends from childhood (always lived in the same area whereas I have moved around a lot). His idea of a wedding is a big traditional do with lots of people, trouble is, his guests could easily outnumber mine by about 5 or 6 times! My idea is something small and intimate. I guess it's about compromise but I'm actually not looking forward to the wedding bit very much, would quite happily slope off abroad just the 2 of us.
gradeAfailure said:
FastLaneGirl said:
No advice, but interested in replies. I'm in the same situation. My family consists of me and my mum (dad died last year).
OH and I have talked about getting married, he has a large family & loads of friends from childhood (always lived in the same area whereas I have moved around a lot). His idea of a wedding is a big traditional do with lots of people, trouble is, his guests could easily outnumber mine by about 5 or 6 times! My idea is something small and intimate. I guess it's about compromise but I'm actually not looking forward to the wedding bit very much, would quite happily slope off abroad just the 2 of us.
Self and OH are exactly the same - however I'm completely on board with how she wants to get hitched, so we're hopefully heading off to the US next year for a combined wedding/honeymoon/holiday type thing, no family invited from either side. Thankfully my younger sister got married recently so took a bit of the pressure off me to have a "proper" wedding. Still having a bit of a party when we get back though!OH and I have talked about getting married, he has a large family & loads of friends from childhood (always lived in the same area whereas I have moved around a lot). His idea of a wedding is a big traditional do with lots of people, trouble is, his guests could easily outnumber mine by about 5 or 6 times! My idea is something small and intimate. I guess it's about compromise but I'm actually not looking forward to the wedding bit very much, would quite happily slope off abroad just the 2 of us.
My aim is to keep it as small as possible & not have any of this overly formal malarkey (hats excepted!)V8mate said:
raf_gti said:
We will be getting married in the next few years ...
[This isn't aimed at you; more of a general query.]Why do some people aspire to be married so far in advance?
If a couple want to be married, why don't they just do it? Even organising the biggest bash in the world wouldn't take more than nine months.
It seems to be like people who say they are going to give up smoking at some future date; if they really wanted to give up they'd just do it.
To get the venue(s) you want for the ceremony and 'do' you have to book in advance - the more popular the venue(s) the longer you have to wait.
I've tried to talk my OH into the idea of getting married abroad, budgeting to pay for her and my immediate family to fly out, accomodation etc, thinking it would be a pretty big carrot towards a wedding that doesn't have her extended family to ruin our special day.
"That sounds nice. We'd have to have a big party with all my family there when we got back though."
Doh....
"That sounds nice. We'd have to have a big party with all my family there when we got back though."
Doh....
EINSIGN said:
HOGEPH said:
Get married in Vegas, broadcast the wedding on the internet.
Worked for me.
How and where did you set that up. We are planning a small tacky wedding like this...Worked for me.
(I did suggest the nude skydiving one, but herself veto'd it.
)I got married in the Mandalay Bay Hotel. I would imagine most of the big hotels on the Strip have their own chapel. All I had to do was choose a date, choose some songs for the piano player, choose some flowers, and cough up some money for said services. They did the rest of the organising. The only other requirement was a $55 marriage licence from the courthouse to hand to the vicar type bloke prior to the service.
The ceremony was broadcast live on t'internet, and remained available to view for a month, so just about all my relations got a chance to see me surrender.
The organising was unstressful, it was far cheaper than a top hat/marquee style do, and we had a bloody good holiday at the same time.
I remain legally married in the eyes of the State Of Nevada. (The wife has just poked her head over my shoulder and reminded me that I am legally married, full stop!)
Lemmonie said:
My marriage taught me that to be honest weddings are all bulls
te.
Its my marriage that counts not the bloomin day.
For the record i had a medium sized fairytale wedding and it wasnt the best day of my life, yesterday was and tomorrow will be
#te.Its my marriage that counts not the bloomin day.
For the record i had a medium sized fairytale wedding and it wasnt the best day of my life, yesterday was and tomorrow will be
Just remember that the probability of the marriage lasting is inversely proportional to the cost of the wedding.
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