Things kids say...

[Lefty Guns]

Looking at youtube this morning and my 2 year old comes over and asks to watch tractors.

"Dada, tractors stuck mud please"
"Thanks Dada"
"Look Dada, tractor stuck mud. Oh bugger!"

[Slagathore]

I heard a primary school kid describe one of his classmates as a "Hobo".

His mum's reaction was brilliant. She was not impressed at all.

Thankfully she didn't hear me laughing.

[markcjd]

Our 3 year old climbed into our bed last week and proudly announced he knew where babies come from.

Expecting the worst we asked where?

His answer, "Seaweed!" Buggered if I know but he seemed happy...

[Alfanatic]

Mine can't talk yet. Anyway, a few months ago she sat up and announced with some pride "Dawawawadadawa!" I said "Pardon?", so she looked at me and said, louder and more slowly, "DAWAWAWADADAWA!!"

I had to laugh. She also has a habit of sighing or going "hmm" at the perfect point in a conversation.

[mfmman]

markcjd said:

Our 3 year old climbed into our bed last week and proudly announced he knew where babies come from.

Expecting the worst we asked where?

His answer, "Seaweed!" Buggered if I know but he seemed happy...

"Flapjack" rubbish kids programme on Cartoon Network

HTH

[davido140]

Watch out, they grow up fast,

Last week my son told me he wasnt ignoring my question, he thought it was rhetorical.....

he's only 9.

Bloody Smartarse.

[wolf1]

Don't know what my two year old daughter has been up to but she called me a muppet the other day. Somehow I think her eight year old brother has had a hand in it.

[Soovy]

Mate of mine's son picked up the word "ar5ehole" at home. He shouted it at every opportunity!!

He got told it was naughty and stopped for a week.


They are very religious, and took him to a sombre prayer meeting shortly afterwards where a visiting Italian priest (I think he might even have been from the Vatican) was giving a very serious sermon.

"we all must work together, live together, look after each other, and we must pray for our souls....."


Quick as a flash, the boy leaps to his feet and bellows "we must pray for ar5eholes, we must pray for ar5eholes...."

Edited by Soovy on Saturday 11th July 19:47

[Cara Van Man]

Whilst having dinner a few months back, my 5 year old came out with something that made me laugh.

We were having salad when she declares "I hate Riccardo!!!".

I sat stunned and asked her why she didn't like him, never having met him (sleep envy).

She replied "No, I don't like Riccardo", pointing at the avocado on her plate

[Soovy]

Cara Van Man said:

Whilst having dinner a few months back, my 5 year old came out with something that made me laugh.

We were having salad when she declares "I hate Riccardo!!!".

I sat stunned and asked her why she didn't like him, never having met him (sleep envy).

She replied "No, I don't like Riccardo", pointing at the avocado on her plate

New trousers please.

[Oily Nails]

Went to the beach with my sister and her 2 year old girl a few weeks back.
So unpack the car and heading down the dunes, at the first glimpse of the sea my niece charges for the waves...

All the while screaming "BEACH! BEACH! BEACH! BEACH!"...


...unfortunately she had not quite got the word right and instead ran down a PACKED beach shouting..

"BICH! BICH! BICH! BICH!"


Cue a lot of blushing by my sister and some stern explanations to the niece...and me at it all

[srebbe64]

Some years ago my youngest daughter got a Polly Pocket stuck up her nose. We did out best to remove it, but no luck. On the way to A&E she said "where we going Daddy?" to which I replied "to a place they take things out of noses without hurting you". When we got there the place was heaving and we were asked to take a seat. About half an hour later a bloke hobbles in with a broken foot. He hopped over to the seat next to us, and my daughter jumps off my lap, looks at the bloke, and says "what you got stuck up your nose?" The place erupted with laughter!

[Gargamel]

Today my three year daughter and I were playing catch. I said one more go then I have to do some jobs.

She said, you must keep playing or I'll throw {the ball} at your goolies





I started looking for her older brother.....

[Antony Moxey]

A friend of mine and his wife were going out for the night so they asked the grandparents to babysit. Anyway, it was getting time for their three year old to go to bed, so the grandparents thought they'd give him a bath first. Gran tested the water and thought it OK temperature wise, so they lowered the lad in. As soon as his bum cheeks hit the water he jumped up into his granddad's arms shouting "f*** me that's hot".

[mikechandler]

Antony Moxey said:

A friend of mine and his wife were going out for the night so they asked the grandparents to babysit. Anyway, it was getting time for their three year old to go to bed, so the grandparents thought they'd give him a bath first. Gran tested the water and thought it OK temperature wise, so they lowered the lad in. As soon as his bum cheeks hit the water he jumped up into his granddad's arms shouting "f*** me that's hot".

That is brilliant

[Limey 666]

About 5 years ago me and the missus are driving past the riverside stadium in Middlesbrough and the replica endeavour ship from Australia is berthed up near there so we decide to tell the story of Captain Cook to the boys sat in the back in the back of the car as they were born in melbourne Australia but now living where Captain Cook was born so after explaining the story for about 10 minuites the youngest says is that where he tried to kill Peter Pan so I wish I hadnt bothered.

[Mars]

My 4yo son and I pass a Porsche garage. There's a bright "Tango" orange Cayman on show outside. It's quite striking, so I say "Wow, look at that". To which he replies, "I like that. Daddy, when I'm older I'd like a Land Rover like that, but in green please".

Lost for words.

And more recently he indicated that despite being able to ride his 2-wheeled bike well-enough he wasn't confident. He actually asked me to put "the sterilizers back on".

[Sheets Tabuer]

My 9 year old has said he wants to take over the world when he grows up.

[cazzer]

srebbe64 said:

Some years ago my youngest daughter got a Polly Pocket stuck up her nose.

You could have stopped there

[srebbe64]

Mars said:

And more recently he indicated that despite being able to ride his 2-wheeled bike well-enough he wasn't confident. He actually asked me to put "the sterilizers back on".

The other day my youngest daughter said that in history they learned how the children in London, during the war, were all evaporated.