Question re zombies and stupid people
Question re zombies and stupid people
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Discussion

funkyrobot

Original Poster:

18,789 posts

251 months

Saturday 11th July 2009
quotequote all
Hi all.

Now that the UK seems to be full of thickos and common sense is steadily becoming far from common (courtesy of our loverly gubberment), if a zombie hoard were to attack, where would they go for good quality, juicy, fresh brains?

The way the country is heading (adverts about not putting hot drinks near the edge of tables near kids, elf and safety making everything seem so damn dangerous etc) got me wondering.

If you were a zombie you would want to chew on interesting, lovely grey juicy brains that were packed full of nutrients. Unfortunately, with today's society, I think you would be hard pressed to find anything much more fulfilling than the cognitive equivalent of a wafer!

Imagine tucking into the average citizen's brain, what would you find? A whole host of dead cells and a strange taste that resembles that of celery, i.e. nothing!

So, as we progress with our 'do as I say', 'do not think for yourself' Jeremy Kyle led thicko society, what hope is there of a good old zombie uprising if there is nothing to snack on?

Edited by funkyrobot on Saturday 11th July 11:59


Edited by funkyrobot on Saturday 11th July 12:00

Uhura_Fighter

7,018 posts

206 months

Saturday 11th July 2009
quotequote all
funkyrobot said:
Hi all.

Now that the UK seems to be full of thickos and common sense is steadily becoming far from common (courtesy of our loverly gubberment), if a zombie hoard were to attack, where would they go for good quality, juicy, fresh brains?
Up North.

Pesty

42,655 posts

279 months

Saturday 11th July 2009
quotequote all
Uhura_Fighter said:
Up North.
Yeah but they would starve to death on their way through the midlands.

TheD

3,142 posts

222 months

Saturday 11th July 2009
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Down South....That is where all these so called decision makers live after all.

Uhura_Fighter

7,018 posts

206 months

Saturday 11th July 2009
quotequote all
TheD said:
Down South....That is where all these so called decision makers live after all.
Then you would have to question why the zombies are running about, probably someone in the South fked up wink

Mk2 Jim

543 posts

209 months

Saturday 11th July 2009
quotequote all
Pesty said:
Uhura_Fighter said:
Up North.
Yeah but they would starve to death on their way through the midlands.
Sadly I think they'd have given up all hope and got bored somewhere just outside of London.

Timberwolf

5,374 posts

241 months

Saturday 11th July 2009
quotequote all
Ah, but you've gotta think Zombie.

Do you really want to chew on something that's all stringy and overused? Where the neural pathways have gone all tough and crispy from the electrical impulses that course through them, day in, day out?

Or do you want something virgin, unused, fresh as the day it grew?

Plus think about it this way. Your primary mode of movement is shambling. Slow, methodical, gets things done... but not great in a chase situation. Certainly not great when your prey is smart and a tool user.

But the stupid people? Ah. Lunchtime in the supermarket - the stupid people aren't going to notice you drooling, shambling along at 0.5 miles per hour, and groaning... matter of fact, they'll think you're just one of them.

Imagine that. Fresh brains. No more use than is absolutely necessary for a few decades of breathing and processing the storyline of Neighbours. And they're not even going to run.

Yep. It's the stupid that have most to fear from a zombie infestation.

Mexico.

1,254 posts

210 months

Saturday 11th July 2009
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Russia then Africa oh hang on just Russia.

Evangelion

8,346 posts

201 months

Saturday 11th July 2009
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I'd go straight to Westminster and eat the government front bench.

Their brains must be really fresh.

After all, they've never been used.

drivin_me_nuts

17,949 posts

234 months

Saturday 11th July 2009
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Scotland.

If they can eat the average Edingurgh brain deep fried with sauce then you know we're all doomed ...

Oakey

27,966 posts

239 months

Saturday 11th July 2009
quotequote all
funkyrobot said:
Hi all.

Now that the UK seems to be full of thickos and common sense is steadily becoming far from common (courtesy of our loverly gubberment), if a zombie hoard were to attack, where would they go for good quality, juicy, fresh brains?

The way the country is heading (adverts about not putting hot drinks near the edge of tables near kids, elf and safety making everything seem so damn dangerous etc) got me wondering.

If you were a zombie you would want to chew on interesting, lovely grey juicy brains that were packed full of nutrients. Unfortunately, with today's society, I think you would be hard pressed to find anything much more fulfilling than the cognitive equivalent of a wafer!

Imagine tucking into the average citizen's brain, what would you find? A whole host of dead cells and a strange taste that resembles that of celery, i.e. nothing!

So, as we progress with our 'do as I say', 'do not think for yourself' Jeremy Kyle led thicko society, what hope is there of a good old zombie uprising if there is nothing to snack on?

Edited by funkyrobot on Saturday 11th July 11:59


Edited by funkyrobot on Saturday 11th July 12:00
You just reminded me of something that happened last night. My girlfriend's house is on a hill bordering a housing estate so we get good views across a wide area of the peasants below. Last night I heard a big car driving past and looking out see a 55plate Bentley CGT creeping past. The Bentley parks at the bottom of the hill and a youngish looking guy, about 40, gets out crosses the small field and goes into one of the council houses on the other side. Now, the house he went to is next door to someone I know and I know that the guy living there is an alcoholic about 80yrs old. I also know that some young looking girls (early twenties) are often seen going in and out of said house. Clearly it's a knocking shop. How retarded do you have to be to visit a knocking shop on the local council estate and park your Bentley outside?

So if anyone here owns a CGT with the reg **55 EPL, you may wish to be more subtle in the future.

mybrainhurts

90,809 posts

278 months

Saturday 11th July 2009
quotequote all
funkyrobot said:
where would they go for good quality, juicy, fresh brains?
Hello...? wavey