How would you react if...........

[Cara Van Man]

your wife had to have a/both breast removed due to cancer?

I not talking about the intial worrying about the disease, but the first time you see her naked and there is a massive scar. Is there a massive scar? Anyone have any experience of this?

Does it affect how you see her or does it not matter?

• MODS please leave this here for now, cheers.

[escargot]

bleh, hope this is hypothetical mate. If not, I hope you both get through it ok.

[Dupont666]

your wife thinking of going through with this?

My mother is currently deciding what to do as she has breast cancer and is still not certain that the lop em off approach is the one that she wants to do, she is prefering to have the cancer cut out... My dad gets no say in it and hes happy as long as she is fit and well and thats all that he cares about.

[Cheeky Jim]

I'd rather have a scar to look at, than no wife.

You love her through good and bad. She is still the same person underneath no matter what.

[Wacky Racer]

Cheeky Jim said:

I'd rather have a scar to look at, than no wife.

You love her through good and bad. She is still the same person underneath no matter what.

In fact I think you would love her more, if you really care about her.

[Scotfox]

Cheeky Jim said:

I'd rather have a scar to look at, than no wife.

You love her through good and bad. She is still the same person underneath no matter what.

Sums things up for me very nicely.


In some cases reconstrucion is possible afterwards.

Edited by Scotfox on Monday 13th July 14:03

[lazyitus]

Heavy stuff.

I think if your love is strong enough, you would adjust and cope. A test of character for sure. If you were one of those characters Pee, you'd stand a great chance of dealing with it.

[Steve-O56]

The mother in law has just gone through all this, you'd be supprised at how good the reconstructive surgery is that follows these types of operations. From her accounts she looks exactly as she did before she was diagnosed.

If it is the case and your other half is in this very unfortunate situation then you have my thoughts go out to you both.

[Odie]

I watched a good drama type program about this a few weeks ago, it had the woman out of scrubs in it (Dr reed).

I'll see if i can find a link.

edit -> http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Why_I_Wore_Lipstick_T...

Edit -> The woman that wrote that had her picture in a womans magazine topless. You can probably find it if you look hard enough. If i remember correctly they stretch the chest tissue to creat new breasts (im not sure what liquid they use) and then the woman can have nipples tattoo'd on (he didnt, she had a heart with angels wings tattoo'd on instead)

Edited by Odie on Monday 13th July 14:07

Edited by Odie on Monday 13th July 14:12

[Cara Van Man]

Hypothetical.......at the moment.

Edited by Cara Van Man on Monday 13th July 14:07

[ShadownINja]

What Cheeky Jim said.

Besides, if she feels less feminine afterwards, she can always have plastic surgery (I think it's done already).

[Famous Graham]

It would take some getting used to, to be frank. I'd like to think I could deal with it "properly" but until it happens...

That said, I certainly wouldn't counsel against it if the docs were advising it. As above - better that there's someone there to look at, at all.

ETA - I'd have my bks whipped out in an instant if it gave the best prognosis. Having implants to retain the "look & feel" would not be my first consideration - getting better would be.

Edited by Famous Graham on Monday 13th July 14:14

[samdale]

Cara Van Man said:

Hypothetical.......at the moment.

Edited by Cara Van Man on Monday 13th July 14:07

if, heaven forbid, you got cancer and had to lose a certain something d'you think she'd think of you any differently...?

[Don]

It's a lot better to be alive.

[WorAl]

It wouldnt affect how i felt about my OH, i love her no matter what and as said above, i'd rather have her scar to look at than no Mrs WorAl at all.

watched a programme about this the other day, with dawn porter in and there was one lass on who had a double vasectamy and had implats put in, they saved her nipple and she had a cracking pair. just looked like she'd had a boob job done.

[HRG.]

Scars are just life's way of reminding you of who you are and of how you got to where you are now Personally I find them fascinating.

[Famous Graham]

WorAl said:

there was one lass on who had a double vasectamy and had implats put in

Mastectomy.

Unless NolarDog was particularly blessed to begin with.

[Plotloss]

Never been through it but one assumes a person is with the person they are with because they love the whole person, not a couple of funbags.

Therefore the love will still be there once the ordeal is over with, irrespective of the outcome of it.

[Cara Van Man]

samdale said:

Cara Van Man said:

Hypothetical.......at the moment.

Edited by Cara Van Man on Monday 13th July 14:07

if, heaven forbid, you got cancer and had to lose a certain something d'you think she'd think of you any differently...?

no.

Actually, my main concern is not really what I think of her or how I see her, but how she sees herself. Knowing how my Mrs is, she's quite self conscious about anything she considers 'ugly' or out of place.

I'd just like to add, this is only hypothetical at the moment, but we do have a minor worry. I'm sure it's nothing, but I've got a lot of stuff racing through my head (which she probably has also)

[diesel head]

From a female perspective, it would be one of the things that terrified me the most, that my husband would no-longer find me attractive. It must be awful to worry what other think so to get encouragement and to be told you are still beautiful by the person you are most intimate with would be so very important.