seriously considering doing something stupid
Discussion
I dont normally discuss my personal life on here but ive seen others do it im not after self pity or anything ive just reach a stage where all odds seem to be against me all the time.
Ive suffered really bad in the past with severe depression and at one stage I suffered a nervous breakdown and ended up in hospital after trying to commit sucide after a traumatic marraige breakdown.
As of Monday night I was forced to move out of my home with my 5 year old in tow after mths of arguments over partners son.
He's 23 and refuses to go or look for work spending most of days either in bed or playing xbox games he has a list of excuse of why he cant work or look for work and was even offered a postion in my company but coudnt be bothered to turn up and stayed in bed all day.
He was also given a previous opportunity by my ex employer he worked a total of 3 days then moaned because had been stopped i paid the difference that he been stopped out of my money why i sorted it out turns out he had spent all afternoon sat on the sofa watching tv in the show room in stead of working.
As i moved in with my partner in her house so my name is not on the rent book to win custody of my 5 year old as he was being placed for addoption due to the fact the ex wife is now a drug addict.
I did have a council flat but lost that due to the fact whilst going for custody of my boy as i wasnt living in the flat all the time.
Went to the local council to apply for emergency housing but was refused due to this fact lucky for me my boss has put me up on his floor and his wife is looking after my son whilst im going to work.
Looks like i may have to go private which is proving a struggle as i cant raise the captial for mths rent and deposit and even that might got tits up if they do a credit check on me as i have poor credit history.
The council are willing to house my child but will split me and my child up by placing him in foster care.
The argument started after she told her son that we wanted to move out and get a place of our own he threw a wobbly started threating violence etc she now sided with him and basically stabbed me in the back.
Since she found out we spent the first night in the car she txt me to say she will look after the boy until im sorted but think this is just her guilt playing on her mind she wont stand up to her son who is a right bully.
Im under so much stress i dont know what to do for the best im seroiusly considering suicide again as everything i seem to touch goes wrong and maybe my boy would be be better off with out me
Please excuse the spelling and grammer but im writing this as im thinking it ive got so much spinning round and round in my head
i didnt think i was asking to much by asking her son to get job to help pay towards the bills as £40 a fortnight is a joke as a result of this im now homeless.
thankyou for taking the time to read this
Ive suffered really bad in the past with severe depression and at one stage I suffered a nervous breakdown and ended up in hospital after trying to commit sucide after a traumatic marraige breakdown.
As of Monday night I was forced to move out of my home with my 5 year old in tow after mths of arguments over partners son.
He's 23 and refuses to go or look for work spending most of days either in bed or playing xbox games he has a list of excuse of why he cant work or look for work and was even offered a postion in my company but coudnt be bothered to turn up and stayed in bed all day.
He was also given a previous opportunity by my ex employer he worked a total of 3 days then moaned because had been stopped i paid the difference that he been stopped out of my money why i sorted it out turns out he had spent all afternoon sat on the sofa watching tv in the show room in stead of working.
As i moved in with my partner in her house so my name is not on the rent book to win custody of my 5 year old as he was being placed for addoption due to the fact the ex wife is now a drug addict.
I did have a council flat but lost that due to the fact whilst going for custody of my boy as i wasnt living in the flat all the time.
Went to the local council to apply for emergency housing but was refused due to this fact lucky for me my boss has put me up on his floor and his wife is looking after my son whilst im going to work.
Looks like i may have to go private which is proving a struggle as i cant raise the captial for mths rent and deposit and even that might got tits up if they do a credit check on me as i have poor credit history.
The council are willing to house my child but will split me and my child up by placing him in foster care.
The argument started after she told her son that we wanted to move out and get a place of our own he threw a wobbly started threating violence etc she now sided with him and basically stabbed me in the back.
Since she found out we spent the first night in the car she txt me to say she will look after the boy until im sorted but think this is just her guilt playing on her mind she wont stand up to her son who is a right bully.
Im under so much stress i dont know what to do for the best im seroiusly considering suicide again as everything i seem to touch goes wrong and maybe my boy would be be better off with out me
Please excuse the spelling and grammer but im writing this as im thinking it ive got so much spinning round and round in my head
i didnt think i was asking to much by asking her son to get job to help pay towards the bills as £40 a fortnight is a joke as a result of this im now homeless.
thankyou for taking the time to read this
Edited by toggs on Wednesday 22 July 15:39
Justayellowbadge said:
toggs said:
maybe my boy would be be better off with out me
Chap, no. Just no.Think of him. He needs his dad. He really does.
Apply to another council - BANES or SCC out of Bristol. Say you have to move because you are being threatened by her son. Emotional threats are as real a physical ones. Get out, get a new start. There is no reason for Social Services to take your son away unless there is something you are not disclosing. Why did you not stay in the council flat they allocated to you? Sounds very dodgy that you couldn't stay there because of a custody thing, I would have thought the opposite was true.
Pick yourself up, dust yourself down and start again. What would your son do without you? Foster care cannot replace a natural parent's unconditional love and care. Sometimes the child is placed in care for their own safety - violent/alcoholic parents, etc. Doesn't sound like that in this cse though.
Pick yourself up, dust yourself down and start again. What would your son do without you? Foster care cannot replace a natural parent's unconditional love and care. Sometimes the child is placed in care for their own safety - violent/alcoholic parents, etc. Doesn't sound like that in this cse though.
What chance does your boy stand in life with a father that committed suicide and a drug addict mother?
He needs you. Alive.
You sound like a decent bloke who's had a tough time. Concentrate on making your's and your boy's life better.
I can't offer any constructive advice on your current predicament, but there must be agencies out there that can help. Seek them out, do it for your boy.
edit for spelling
He needs you. Alive.
You sound like a decent bloke who's had a tough time. Concentrate on making your's and your boy's life better.
I can't offer any constructive advice on your current predicament, but there must be agencies out there that can help. Seek them out, do it for your boy.
edit for spelling
Edited by ehonda on Wednesday 22 July 15:47
ehonda said:
What chance does your boy stand in life with a father that committed suicide and a drug addict mother?
He needs you. Alive.
You sound like a decent bloke who's had a tough time. Concentrate on making your's and your boy's life better.
I can't offer any constructive advice on your current predicament, but there must be agancies out there that can help. Seek them out, do it for your boy.
That's the one.He needs you. Alive.
You sound like a decent bloke who's had a tough time. Concentrate on making your's and your boy's life better.
I can't offer any constructive advice on your current predicament, but there must be agancies out there that can help. Seek them out, do it for your boy.
king hell i've got tears in my eyes after reading that...take the above advice, don't do something stupid and take your life, your kid really does need you.Not doing a Michael Winner impression but calm down, think about it rationally.
You've got options, although the one option you DON'T have is suicide.
You've got support from a couple of quarters there so the odds aren't stacked against you.
If your (possibly temporarily ex)partner has offered to take care of your son in the time it takes you to get a place at least that's there, even if you don't take her up on it.
You've got options, although the one option you DON'T have is suicide.
You've got support from a couple of quarters there so the odds aren't stacked against you.
If your (possibly temporarily ex)partner has offered to take care of your son in the time it takes you to get a place at least that's there, even if you don't take her up on it.
My wife's brother took his own life and left an 8 month old son with a rather unsuitable mother. 5 years down the line and the fall-out is still having a huge impact on the whole family - and most of all on the little boy, who doesn't understand why he doesn't have a full time Dad like most of his school friends...
I won't go into any more detail about that, other than to say taking your own life will do nobody any favours... The boy needs his Dad, especially as there seems to be so much other instability in his life. Things will turn around, it won't be easy, but they will turn around for you and your son, you just have to stay as positive as possible and keep going.
There are lots of organisations out there that can help, the Samaritans is a good place to start for some emotional support, then CAB for some practical advice.
I really feel for you, and I hope you can find it in yourself to turn the corner and feel better. Truly, your lad doesn't deserve being without his Dad.
Good luck and stay strong
I won't go into any more detail about that, other than to say taking your own life will do nobody any favours... The boy needs his Dad, especially as there seems to be so much other instability in his life. Things will turn around, it won't be easy, but they will turn around for you and your son, you just have to stay as positive as possible and keep going.
There are lots of organisations out there that can help, the Samaritans is a good place to start for some emotional support, then CAB for some practical advice.
I really feel for you, and I hope you can find it in yourself to turn the corner and feel better. Truly, your lad doesn't deserve being without his Dad.
Good luck and stay strong
Tyre Smoke said:
Why did you not stay in the council flat they allocated to you? Sounds very dodgy that you couldn't stay there because of a custody thing, I would have thought the opposite was true
Sorry I didnt disclose the full story of why he was taking into care to start with and why i had to fight for custody id rather not disclose it all i will say is that is wasnt any wrong doing on my part it happened whilst he was in the care of his real mother.In regards to flat the flat was unsuitable as it was only a one bedroom I had to show the social services that i could provide a proper home for him and made the error of not telling the council i was living with partner as the time i was claiming benefits and didnt want to lose my benefits as every little money at the time helped.
Im a not a benefits cheat far from it im a hard working tax paying person but at the time I just did what I had to do in order to win custody of my boy as the solicters fees were sky high so whilst i was on benefits i was entitled to leagal aid.
I dont want to miss lead anyone
Just so there are no excuses - phone them... NOW...
http://www.samaritans.org/
Tel: 08457 90 90 90
and after that:
http://www.citizensadvice.org.uk/
http://www.samaritans.org/
Tel: 08457 90 90 90
and after that:
http://www.citizensadvice.org.uk/
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