Masochism: A serious debate...
Discussion
I've been discussing this subject with a friend recently and our opinions are somewhat divided...
To her, masochism relates to "sleaze", pervesion and someone who allows themselves to be abused.
To me it's something entirely different. It's a strength and a very intellectual "power".
What does it mean to you?
Are you masochistic?
What is "masochism"?
It's masochistic to want to be tied up and spanked/whipped or to be walked on by a stiletto-heeled woman, right?
But is it masochistic to want to run the London Marathon or (Edit: typo)swim the English Channel in November?
Are all women masochistic to a certain degree?
If you want to do something but don't do it because your self-confidence doesn't allow it, are you masochist by making yourself suffer the "What ifs?"
I'd be very interested in your views on this as it's a bit of a taboo subject that doesn't often get discussed.
Anyone?
To her, masochism relates to "sleaze", pervesion and someone who allows themselves to be abused.
To me it's something entirely different. It's a strength and a very intellectual "power".
What does it mean to you?
Are you masochistic?
What is "masochism"?
It's masochistic to want to be tied up and spanked/whipped or to be walked on by a stiletto-heeled woman, right?
But is it masochistic to want to run the London Marathon or (Edit: typo)swim the English Channel in November?
Are all women masochistic to a certain degree?
If you want to do something but don't do it because your self-confidence doesn't allow it, are you masochist by making yourself suffer the "What ifs?"
I'd be very interested in your views on this as it's a bit of a taboo subject that doesn't often get discussed.
Anyone?
Edited by Nolar Dog on Wednesday 12th August 15:50
You're only masochistic if you derive pleasure from deprivation, pain etc.
So being shy or lacking self confidence and not doing something doesn't equate to being masochistic, it's just being shy. If you deny yourself and get off on the fact you're now missing out, then you're a masochist.
Derivation of pleasure from the act is the key, not the act itself.
So being shy or lacking self confidence and not doing something doesn't equate to being masochistic, it's just being shy. If you deny yourself and get off on the fact you're now missing out, then you're a masochist.
Derivation of pleasure from the act is the key, not the act itself.
I think the difference is whether you are using the word as a colloquialism or not. As a colloquialism it is used to describe people with who do difficult jobs or hobbies by choice for fun but don't necessarily derive pleasure from it sexually, which if you are using the word as a technical term named after the writings of Leopold von Sacher-Masoch then you do.
Aye Kant Thaype!
Edited by sadako on Wednesday 12th August 15:54
Sound like you're getting Masochism and Machismo mixed up.
machismo
Dictionary: ma·chis·mo (mä-chēz'mō)
A strong or exaggerated sense of masculinity stressing attributes such as physical courage, virility, domination of women, and aggressiveness.
An exaggerated sense of strength or toughness: “People prefer raw-milk cheese for its subtlety and depth of flavor, not out of some kind of foodie machismo” (Corby Kummer).
masochism
Dictionary: mas·och·ism (măs'ə-kĭz'əm)
The deriving of sexual gratification, or the tendency to derive sexual gratification, from being physically or emotionally abused.
The deriving of pleasure, or the tendency to derive pleasure, from being humiliated or mistreated, either by another or by oneself.
A willingness or tendency to subject oneself to unpleasant or trying experiences.
machismo
Dictionary: ma·chis·mo (mä-chēz'mō)
A strong or exaggerated sense of masculinity stressing attributes such as physical courage, virility, domination of women, and aggressiveness.
An exaggerated sense of strength or toughness: “People prefer raw-milk cheese for its subtlety and depth of flavor, not out of some kind of foodie machismo” (Corby Kummer).
masochism
Dictionary: mas·och·ism (măs'ə-kĭz'əm)
The deriving of sexual gratification, or the tendency to derive sexual gratification, from being physically or emotionally abused.
The deriving of pleasure, or the tendency to derive pleasure, from being humiliated or mistreated, either by another or by oneself.
A willingness or tendency to subject oneself to unpleasant or trying experiences.
Nolar Dog said:
To her, masochism relates to "sleaze", perversion and someone who allows themselves to be abused.
It's not sleazy or perverted. One allows themselves to be "abused" because they want to be "abused". That's their thing. How can doing what someone wants you to do to them be "perverted"?Nolar Dog said:
To me it's something entirely different. It's a strength and a very intellectual "power".
Indeed.Nolar Dog said:
It's masochistic to want to be tied up and spanked/whipped or to be walked on by a stiletto-heeled woman, right?
Yes, but this is an intrinsically sexual thing. Domination, control, whatever.Nolar Dog said:
But is it masochistic to want to run the London Marathon or swim the English Channel in November?
No. The people who do this see it as a challenge. They know it will hurt, probably more hurt than they've ever had, but it's still just a challenge. It's mind over matter; pushing yourself to your limits, feeling the burn and all that crap. It is not a sexual thing.Nolar Dog said:
Are all women masochistic to a certain degree?
Yes, I think they are. To certain degrees.Nolar Dog said:
If you want to do something but don't do it because your self-confidence doesn't allow it, are you masochist by making yourself suffer the "What ifs?"
No, you're just lacking in self-confidence. You don't do something because not doing it feels better, you don't do something because you can't/won't do it.Hummm Nolar Dog you do like your 'different' subjects don't you 
I reckon most people have an element of masochism in them. Of course this is to varying degrees and also varying reasons behind it too I suppose.
Quite often I find myself doing things which I almost don't want to do, but do them through choice. A good example for me is going to the gym. I do not really like doing it but my OH spurs me on and we go together which helps a lot. However, when I am finally there I often really go for it. Rowing machine until every muscle is caning and I literally cannot go another stroke, running machine until my legs feel like they will fall off, weight machines lifting amounts which are JUST within my limit and not stopping until it's just about too much.
Is it masochism? I dunno about that but I do feel like if I am going to do something I don't really like (going to the gym) which is for a good reason (keeping fit/healthy) then I might as well make the most of it. Same kinda thing as when I go on a bike ride alone, I tend to cycle pretty fast (Speed Matters you know!) and keep going until I simply MUST stop. Seems kinda pointless to me to go for a namby pamby bike ride where you don't even get your heart racing.
No pain, no gain...?
I reckon most people have an element of masochism in them. Of course this is to varying degrees and also varying reasons behind it too I suppose.
Quite often I find myself doing things which I almost don't want to do, but do them through choice. A good example for me is going to the gym. I do not really like doing it but my OH spurs me on and we go together which helps a lot. However, when I am finally there I often really go for it. Rowing machine until every muscle is caning and I literally cannot go another stroke, running machine until my legs feel like they will fall off, weight machines lifting amounts which are JUST within my limit and not stopping until it's just about too much.
Is it masochism? I dunno about that but I do feel like if I am going to do something I don't really like (going to the gym) which is for a good reason (keeping fit/healthy) then I might as well make the most of it. Same kinda thing as when I go on a bike ride alone, I tend to cycle pretty fast (Speed Matters you know!) and keep going until I simply MUST stop. Seems kinda pointless to me to go for a namby pamby bike ride where you don't even get your heart racing.
No pain, no gain...?
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