I don't think I've ever ranted before...

[Famous Graham]

..I'm generally too laid back.

But something tipped me over the edge today.

Dodderers.

Old folk, tourists, amblers, fking unaware cretins who don't have any fking awareness of their own fking space.

People who saunter along a high street that's been halved by roadworks and randomly stop right in front of you to gawp at something in-fking-consequential like a gargoyle. Or wander along texting on their phones, unaware that there's someone behind you wanting to move faster than a fking sloth on dope.

Then step sideways RIGHT into the path you were going to take to get around the s.

I started playing a game today - how many wkers could I kill with a knife to the back of the neck. Clearly playing too much Assassin's Creed on the Xbox but I reached 34 tts despatched by my knife before I reached my local and achieved equilibrium.

Never, EVER, try to run an errand along Princes St in Edinburgh on a Saturday. During the fking Fringe.

[Four Cofffee]

Famous Graham said:

..I'm generally too laid back.

But something tipped me over the edge today.

Dodderers.

Old folk, tourists, amblers, fking unaware cretins who don't have any fking awareness of their own fking space.

People who saunter along a high street that's been halved by roadworks and randomly stop right in front of you to gawp at something in-fking-consequential like a gargoyle. Or wander along texting on their phones, unaware that there's someone behind you wanting to move faster than a fking sloth on dope.

Then step sideways RIGHT into the path you were going to take to get around the s.

I started playing a game today - how many wkers could I kill with a knife to the back of the neck. Clearly playing too much Assassin's Creed on the Xbox but I reached 34 tts despatched by my knife before I reached my local and achieved equilibrium.

Never, EVER, try to run an errand along Princes St in Edinburgh on a Saturday. During the fking Fringe.

Or anywhere in central London, ever.

Tourists photographing every building, reading fking tube maps, debating whether to eatin Mc Donalds or Pizza hut.

[kit80]

Self awareness is running a closed second to common sense in what general public is seriously missing!

I avoid most places on a saturday, they are fking everywhere.


Well done on the rant.

[mybrainhurts]

you need some of this ------>

[Papa_Hotel]

Worst "I-have-an-x-box" topic ever.

Agree though. I hate when people have no purpose on a walk, no end goal... no A-to-B, just pissing about for the sake of it. s. They're never aware of what's going on around them, stopping suddenly for no reason or veering from side to side making it impossible to get past without smacking into them. Of course, if you did smack into them, you're the . Old people and slow people.... gah.

[Alfanatic]

Famous Graham said:

..
Then step sideways RIGHT into the path you were going to take to get around the s.
..

Why do people do that? It happens to me all the time! Do they do this for a laugh?

[mybrainhurts]

I find this is not a problem if I shout ......SWINE FLU, COMING THROUGH...AAAAAAAA TISHOOO

[mrmaggit]

You didn't want to hear this, but 6/10.

Too much boring swearing, bonus point for number, no previous history mentioned, not enough emotion.

Better luck next time.

You should know what to put in a rant to have a good score by now.

[MartG]

Loses a few points for not mentioning folk who stop to talk in shop doorways

[Jag-D]

Not enough pure anger related violence or swear words

You score a miserable 5/10

But yeah..I'm with you on that!

[Dupont666]

try using the tube... they can subconsciously see you and when you move left they do to block you and the same with the right, the pisser being when they get to the bottom of a stairwell of their choosing say piccadilly and they need to stop at the bottom to read the signs and then get the tube map out and not get out of the way of the other 40-50 people wandering down most of which know the route, they then wonder why londoners are rude when trying to get home, it makes it worse when there is a group of 3-5 and they all stop.

[King Herald]

And in the airport, when you're hurrying up the ramp to get to the next plane, and three crumblies decide to walk abreast at 0.0001mph, totally closing off the ramp, and people are right up behind them, trying to slip through a gap that's opening and closing, opening and closing, as said crumblies waddle to and fro, oblivious to the fact that all the other 200 people sitting behind them on the plane didn't actually STAY on the fkin' plane after they got off.....

And breathe.....

[i remember]

You should try COD4 , you know how to knife them and then you can also imagine mowing them down with an mp5

HTH

[Famous Graham]

As I said, I'm too laid back to ever have a proper, 10/10, full on rant I can live with 5 or 6.

Although I'm still investing in a stabby thing.

[fathomfive]

What about the muppets who stand talking at the end of the aisle in supermarkets with their trolleys blocking the way?

Utterly fking ignorant s.

[V8mate]

Alfanatic said:

Famous Graham said:

..
Then step sideways RIGHT into the path you were going to take to get around the s.
..

Why do people do that? It happens to me all the time! Do they do this for a laugh?

I was heading along (at 'on a mission' pace) towards Liverpool St station during evening rush hour; huge volumes of people, but most moving in the same direction as me.

Ended up behind some sloth. He wasn't a 'suit', but neither tourist nor vagrant either. So, I darted on way to go round him and he suddenly, in his slothdom, moved the same way to block me. Didn't seem to be a reason for his movement, like avoiding an oncoming pedestrian.

So I waited a few seconds, spotted an opportunity and darted the other way. Guy moves that way too. I'm suspecting a ruse. Third try, back the other way, and the motherfker blocks me again.

I grabbed him, one hand firmly gripping each arm just below the shoulder, pick him up and move him out of the way. I'm no a particularly physically violent person, and my actions were entirely spontaneous. So I think I shocked mysef as much as I didhim

Anyway, I sped past leaving him to verbalise his displeasure in the crowd behind me.

[V8mate]

fathomfive said:

What about the muppets who stand talking at the end of the aisle in supermarkets with their trolleys blocking the way?

Utterly fking ignorant s.

Or people who meet friends and stand there with trolleys pointing in opposite directions across an aisle opening having a chat?

Or even worse, in Tesco, the staff with those enormous trollies do shopping for home delivery customers. On their own, they completely block aisles and are oblivious to what's going on around them; when two of them meet and stop for a chat, you're into tailback territory.

[Kermit power]

V8mate said:

fathomfive said:

What about the muppets who stand talking at the end of the aisle in supermarkets with their trolleys blocking the way?

Utterly fking ignorant s.

Or people who meet friends and stand there with trolleys pointing in opposite directions across an aisle opening having a chat?

Or even worse, in Tesco, the staff with those enormous trollies do shopping for home delivery customers. On their own, they completely block aisles and are oblivious to what's going on around them; when two of them meet and stop for a chat, you're into tailback territory.

Use Ocado, so you don't have to go to a supermarket in the first place. Failing that, just be very polite, very loudly!

There's not much they can do to even pretend to complain, as the actual content of what you're saying isn't rude. If they do come out with "no need to shout" or something similar, just tell them you wouldn't have needed to shout if they'd moved at any of the first three times you'd asked them to without raising their voice. Cue them promptly apologising and questioning their own hearing!

[Mobile Chicane]

Not that I'm a regular shopper at Harrod's or anything, but there are certain items that are difficult to find anywhere else.

I get really irritated by the crowds of gormless gawping tourists who clog up the Food Halls when I'm in a hurry and on a mission.

Buy something, or fk off!

[TooLateForAName]

I like gargoyles.