Funeral culture

[Papa_Hotel]

What's the done thing where you're from?

I'm from rural Norn Iron and we attend funerals for absolutely anyone. I've been to dozens and the churches have always been packed, not just with people wanting to show their respects to the deceased but even people who didn't know the stiff but wantng to show sympathy and support for the relatives they did know. You know?

So anyway, I'm living in Edinburgh now and my brother-in-law's father died today. I asked my wfe when the funeral would be... I might as well have said "he was a anyway", the level of incredulity I was met with. I never knew the bloke, only met him once but still wanted to attend to be there for the BiL.

It seems the funeral culture in NI is very different to Edinburgh, or at least this corner of it where it seems is just immediate family that gets involved. Is this typical of the rest of the UK or is it just a case of 'you're never so alone as in the city'?

[Los Palmas 7]

Is it a Cafflick thing?

[Papa_Hotel]

Los Palmas 7 said:

Is it a Cafflick thing?

No. They eat their dead, don't they?

[Los Palmas 7]

Papa_Hotel said:

Los Palmas 7 said:

Is it a Cafflick thing?

No.

Right, just checking, no offense meant. I have been to a (mercifully) few funerals, all of them held in the North East of England and have found them to be well attended.

Different cultures/different areas of the country/depends on how well the deceased was liked.

I dunno.

[condor]

I'd say immediate family only is the norm at the crematorium and a memorial or requiem service in church if it's likely that a crowd wish to attend.

[Los Palmas 7]

Obviously, I hope that my funeral will be attended by a host of grieving women who realise that they will never be truly satisfied again. They will, of course, all be wearing short black dresses, with matching stockings and high heels.

You know, a bit like that Robert Palmer video, only with slightly more sombre music.

[condor]

You needed to post a you tube link to it...because I have no idea what video you're talking about

[Los Palmas 7]

condor said:

You needed to post a you tube link to it...because I have no idea what video you're talking about

You're joking, right? You've never seen the video to "Addicted To Love"?

Allow me to educate you:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xEqsZExmDzI

[condor]

No I hadn't seen the video before...but thank-you for educating me

Personally, I think the girls look too cold and calculating and doubt if they'd even attend a funeral....but of course, they were only acting in the video

[DrTre]

condor said:

No I hadn't seen the video before...but thank-you for educating me

Personally, I think the girls look too cold and calculating and doubt if they'd even attend a funeral....but of course, they were only acting in the video

S'alright, they'd only be acting at the funeral too.

[Los Palmas 7]

DrTre said:

S'alright, they'd only be acting at the funeral too.

Shut it.

[drivin_me_nuts]

Middle Eastern ones are often absolutely gut wrenching emotional affairs. They are often followed by a month of mourning with specific gatherings at 3, 7 and 40 days and then at the one year anniversary.

[King Herald]

drivin_me_nuts said:

Middle Eastern ones are often absolutely gut wrenching emotional affairs. They are often followed by a month of mourning with specific gatherings at 3, 7 and 40 days and then at the one year anniversary.

Why do the most devout of religious people get so upset at funerals? Afterall, they are the ones who spend their lives preaching that when they die they will go to a better place. So shouldn't they be rejoicing?

[mrmaggit]

I hope my funerals like the one for my mate Arthur. He died of a heart attack in 2000, the funeral chapel was so full it was standing (sardine-like) room only.

Bet it isn't though.

[bazking69]

Family or good friends only.
Luckily as a young man I have had very few dealings with funerals thus far, but sadly will be carrying a good friend of mine into the crematorium this time next week.

[drivin_me_nuts]

King Herald said:

drivin_me_nuts said:

Middle Eastern ones are often absolutely gut wrenching emotional affairs. They are often followed by a month of mourning with specific gatherings at 3, 7 and 40 days and then at the one year anniversary.

Why do the most devout of religious people get so upset at funerals? Afterall, they are the ones who spend their lives preaching that when they die they will go to a better place. So shouldn't they be rejoicing?

Interesting point. It's not really to do with religion though. It's to do with grieving with the loss of the person, in so far as it's your one chance to let go of your emotions, say what you need to say, cry, scream, mourn, do what ever you need to do to express your loss. It's hard not to be moved, the emotions are raw - but the outpourings of grief do seem to help. The wakes are immediately follow are often celebrations, at 3 days, gatherings for close family members to say their goodbyes, at 7 days to return to the graveside and 40 days another larger gathering to formally recognise the end of the mourning period. It is interesting in that it allows thoses grieving many opportunities to express their grief and move on. This is especially so for the one year anniversary, which are often the time of last goodbyes and the point where people consciously make decisions to move their lives forwards.

[staceyb]

All of my Mams family came to the funeral of my Dads Mam. Cousins from both sides came as well. As the OP said it's not just about paying respect to the deceased, it's about supporting the closer members of the family.

[sonic_2k_uk]

We buried my grandfather last weekend.

My sister bought her other half along, an absolute quality bloke from northern ireland.

First off, no one could really understand him, but as i know him pretty well we sat talking.

Turns out that in Ireland you tend to congregate at the dead person's house, with their body open in a coffin so that anyone who chooses can come and pay their respects, then all head down to the local for a massive piss-up.

Now that sounds like a funeral!!

Edited by sonic_2k_uk on Friday 28th August 14:14

[Groober]

My mums friend sadly passed away last year.

She didnt have a funeral (maybe she did for immediate family) but about a week after she died all her close friends and family recieved a bottle of bubbly delivered to their door with a card saying enjoy this on me.

I thought that was a great idea just for being a bit different.

[Halb]

mrmaggit said:

I hope my funerals like the one for my mate Arthur. He died of a heart attack in 2000, the funeral chapel was so full it was standing (sardine-like) room only.

Bet it isn't though.

The longer you live, the less likely it becomes...so be considerate and try and pop off early so ppl are young enough to enjoy themselves at it.