Woman trouble. Time to move on?
Discussion
About 6 months ago I reported to the world that me and my wife were splitting up. You might remember it as it turned into a 100+ page epic before it got canned. Anyway, she changed her mind in April and we tried again, then two weeks ago after three really good months together it all surfaced again and she's back in the rented place we sorted out for her first time round. All a bit sad.
Her reasons: "I love you but I'm not in love with you" and "I can't explain it..." I'm sure there a few on here that have heard that
. She's also gone down the "We must be friends..." route which I don't think I could handle.
This time it seems she seems more definite about what she wants (well, doesn't want). She's not saying anything to give me hope and she's quick to stamp on any idea of me still wanting her, but then there are some things she does that makes me wonder. For example:
Texting me every day, usually about regular things like not forgetting to put the rubbish out.
Texts to ask how I am. Platonic, but regular.
Extreme jealousy or angry reactions to me going out on the piss, or even the hint I might be on the pull (I'm not)
Extreme jealousy or angry reactions to the female friends I have on Facebook posting supportive messages for me (e.g. kisses or a heart)
Extreme jealousy or angry reactions to her so-called friend (in my opinion she's ugly, she has no personality, is apparently boring in bed and sleeps around while in relationships - so a real catch
) texting me.
Telling me how strange it will be to think of me with someone else.
Offering and requiring consoling hugs.
Going to leave the house, then stopping and returning before she's gone out of the door to talk about something.
What do you think these kinds of things mean, if anything? I will move on if I have to and am prepared for that, but I have to admit I'm finding the whole thing quite tough. I still love her deeply (and she knows it) and I will put effort into getting her back if it seems like there might be a chance. Despite all the mind-changing, she's still someone that I feel is worth fighting for. Just don't know if I'm wasting my time.
Thoughts? (be kind)
Her reasons: "I love you but I'm not in love with you" and "I can't explain it..." I'm sure there a few on here that have heard that
. She's also gone down the "We must be friends..." route which I don't think I could handle.This time it seems she seems more definite about what she wants (well, doesn't want). She's not saying anything to give me hope and she's quick to stamp on any idea of me still wanting her, but then there are some things she does that makes me wonder. For example:
Texting me every day, usually about regular things like not forgetting to put the rubbish out.
Texts to ask how I am. Platonic, but regular.
Extreme jealousy or angry reactions to me going out on the piss, or even the hint I might be on the pull (I'm not)
Extreme jealousy or angry reactions to the female friends I have on Facebook posting supportive messages for me (e.g. kisses or a heart)
Extreme jealousy or angry reactions to her so-called friend (in my opinion she's ugly, she has no personality, is apparently boring in bed and sleeps around while in relationships - so a real catch
) texting me.Telling me how strange it will be to think of me with someone else.
Offering and requiring consoling hugs.
Going to leave the house, then stopping and returning before she's gone out of the door to talk about something.
What do you think these kinds of things mean, if anything? I will move on if I have to and am prepared for that, but I have to admit I'm finding the whole thing quite tough. I still love her deeply (and she knows it) and I will put effort into getting her back if it seems like there might be a chance. Despite all the mind-changing, she's still someone that I feel is worth fighting for. Just don't know if I'm wasting my time.
Thoughts? (be kind)
From me reading that.. seems to me that she doesn't want you but doesn't want anyone else to have you?
By keeping you in "her loop".. majorly inside the friend zone...
Thats just my take on it pal..
Sounds very much like any ones ex. In my opinion i'd be out of there but i know how hard it can be
Adam B said:
NobleGuy said:
What do you think these kinds of things mean, if anything?
she doesn't want you but does not want anyone else to have you - is it really that hard to see?(sorry)
Sometimes I guess we just need confirmation.
I think I already know what you're saying is right. Thing is, there was a hint of something starting with a girl at work the first time round and within four days of my wife realising this she had changed her mind and we were together again.
Thirsty Camel said:
Try the old saying, if you love someone set them free and if they dont come back hunt them down and kill them shoot:
Serisouly I would move on, the fact that you have tried again and ended up the same place means she is not sure so move on.
LOL! When you say 'Not sure' I hear 'A chance'Serisouly I would move on, the fact that you have tried again and ended up the same place means she is not sure so move on.
i had the same thing but in no means so serious (she was a girl i was seeing not wife!!) we spent a year on and off, we would get together then she would say its not working after a few weeks, then i'd be on her case, and after a few weeks it would start all over again,
went on for over a year with friends telling me i was a mug etc, she even threw herself at my best mate ffs, and then i met another girl. 3 years on and im head over heels for the new girl, couldnt be happier. The first girl got very angry at this and now we dont speak, she even blanks me when im very civil and say hi at pubs etc. sad really. It seems a trick that women play all the time!! only want what they cant have, love the chase etc.
Really hope you get it sorted and she sorts her act out!!
went on for over a year with friends telling me i was a mug etc, she even threw herself at my best mate ffs, and then i met another girl. 3 years on and im head over heels for the new girl, couldnt be happier. The first girl got very angry at this and now we dont speak, she even blanks me when im very civil and say hi at pubs etc. sad really. It seems a trick that women play all the time!! only want what they cant have, love the chase etc.
Really hope you get it sorted and she sorts her act out!!
What does this say to me?
She wants a free ride and to 'go out' (shag) while can't bear to see you do the same?
Are you money'd? Maybe she wants what you have and can't bear to let it go while still taking you for a ride and living her 'free' life.
Who knows, all I can say is what I would do and thats cut the ties, completely. Too much pain being strung along, possibly by a free loader, imo
harsh I suppose but see what she does?
She wants a free ride and to 'go out' (shag) while can't bear to see you do the same?
Are you money'd? Maybe she wants what you have and can't bear to let it go while still taking you for a ride and living her 'free' life.
Who knows, all I can say is what I would do and thats cut the ties, completely. Too much pain being strung along, possibly by a free loader, imo
harsh I suppose but see what she does?
Oilchange said:
Too much pain being strung along...
In her defence she does seem to be pretty definite about staying single for 'a long time' and is keen to point out she's not interested in anyone else. Although I suppose her 'long time' and my 'long time' might be significantly different
I'm not moneyed really but I have always been able to pay all the bills with small (but not particularly significant) contributions from her here and there.
sonic_2k_uk said:
...she's probably a bit messed up in the head also...
Again in her defence, she does appear to be cut up about it too.
Edited by NobleGuy on Wednesday 2nd September 16:53
I blame the whole thing on your apparent complete lack of a spine.
Change your facebook status to "..is knackered after a pulling an absolute tramp last night" and when she gets mad, tell her she either wants you or she doesnt. And then block her form your profile, saying its for her own good as you have a big weekend coming up.
Whats wrong with her? Whats wrong with you....
Change your facebook status to "..is knackered after a pulling an absolute tramp last night" and when she gets mad, tell her she either wants you or she doesnt. And then block her form your profile, saying its for her own good as you have a big weekend coming up.
Whats wrong with her? Whats wrong with you....
sonic_2k_uk said:
Typical woman thing - once they've had you and no longer want you, it doesnt mean someone else can.
I wouldnt say give it up completely if your still madly head-over-heels with her, she's probably a bit messed up in the head also. But dont get hung up on it and let it ruin your life.
... to complete that, be also aware that once she's met someone she won't give a second thought about moving on.I wouldnt say give it up completely if your still madly head-over-heels with her, she's probably a bit messed up in the head also. But dont get hung up on it and let it ruin your life.
So you might as well get a head start. Be ready for some mentalista of epic proportions though.
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