Random Thoughts..
Discussion
- More often than not, when someone is telling me a story all I can think about is that I can't wait for them to finish so that I can tell my own story that's not only better, but also more directly involves me.
- Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realise you're wrong.
- Have you ever been walking down the street and realised that you're going in the complete opposite direction of where you are supposed to be going? But instead of just turning a 180 and walking back in the direction from which you came, you have to first do something like check your watch or phone or make a grand arm gesture and ****** to yourself to ensure that no one in the surrounding area thinks you're crazy by randomly switching directions on the sidewalk.
- I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.
- Is it just me, or are 80% of the people in the "people you may know" feature on Facebook people that I do know, but I deliberately choose not to be friends with?
- Do you remember when you were a kid, playing Nintendo and it wouldn't work? You take the cartridge out, blow in it and that would magically fix the problem. Every kid did that, but how did we all know how to fix the problem? There was no internet or message boards or FAQ's. We just figured it out. Today's kids are soft.
- There is a great need for sarcasm font.
- How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
- I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.
- I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.
- I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.
- How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear what they said?
- I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars teams up to prevent a d*ck from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers!
- Every time I have to spell a word over the phone using 'as in' examples, I will undoubtedly draw a blank and sound like a complete idiot. Today I had to spell my boss's last name to an attorney and said "Yes that's G as in...(10 second lapse)..ummm...Goonies".
- What would happen if I hired two private investigators to follow each other?
- While driving yesterday I saw a banana peel in the road and instinctively swerved to avoid it...thanks Mario Kart.
- Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.
- I find it hard to believe there are actually people who get in the shower first and THEN turn on the water.
- I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.
- Bad decisions make good stories.
- Whenever I'm Facebook stalking someone and I find out that their profile is public, I feel like a kid on Christmas morning that just got the Red Ryder BB gun that I always wanted. 546 pictures? Don't mind if I do!
- Why is it that during an ice-breaker, when the whole room has to go around and say their name and where they are from, I get so incredibly nervous? Like I know my name, I know where I'm from, this shouldn't be a problem …
- You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you've made up your mind that you just aren't doing anything productive for the rest of the day.
- Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after DVDs? I don't want to have to restart my collection.
- There's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.
- I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to.
- I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Dammit!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voicemail. What'd you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run away?
- I like all of the music in my iTunes, except when it's on shuffle, then I like about one in every fifteen songs in my iTunes.
- As a driver I hate pedestrians and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
- Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.
- I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.
- Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet my ass everyone can find and push the Snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time every time...
- My 4-year old son asked me in the car the other day "Dad what would happen if you ran over a ninja?" How the h*ll do I respond to that?
- I wonder if cops ever get p*ssed off at the fact that everyone they drive behind obeys the speed limit.
- I think the freezer deserves a light as well.
- The other night I ordered take away and when I looked in the bag, saw they had included four sets of plastic cutlery. In other words, someone at the restaurant packed my order, took a second to think about it, and then estimated that there must be at least four people eating to require such a large amount of food. Too bad I was eating by myself. There's nothing like being made to feel like a fat b*stard before dinner.
I laughed through most of these!
Especially the games console one.. Too right!
- Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realise you're wrong.
- Have you ever been walking down the street and realised that you're going in the complete opposite direction of where you are supposed to be going? But instead of just turning a 180 and walking back in the direction from which you came, you have to first do something like check your watch or phone or make a grand arm gesture and ****** to yourself to ensure that no one in the surrounding area thinks you're crazy by randomly switching directions on the sidewalk.
- I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.
- Is it just me, or are 80% of the people in the "people you may know" feature on Facebook people that I do know, but I deliberately choose not to be friends with?
- Do you remember when you were a kid, playing Nintendo and it wouldn't work? You take the cartridge out, blow in it and that would magically fix the problem. Every kid did that, but how did we all know how to fix the problem? There was no internet or message boards or FAQ's. We just figured it out. Today's kids are soft.
- There is a great need for sarcasm font.
- How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
- I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.
- I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.
- I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.
- How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear what they said?
- I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars teams up to prevent a d*ck from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers!
- Every time I have to spell a word over the phone using 'as in' examples, I will undoubtedly draw a blank and sound like a complete idiot. Today I had to spell my boss's last name to an attorney and said "Yes that's G as in...(10 second lapse)..ummm...Goonies".
- What would happen if I hired two private investigators to follow each other?
- While driving yesterday I saw a banana peel in the road and instinctively swerved to avoid it...thanks Mario Kart.
- Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.
- I find it hard to believe there are actually people who get in the shower first and THEN turn on the water.
- I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.
- Bad decisions make good stories.
- Whenever I'm Facebook stalking someone and I find out that their profile is public, I feel like a kid on Christmas morning that just got the Red Ryder BB gun that I always wanted. 546 pictures? Don't mind if I do!
- Why is it that during an ice-breaker, when the whole room has to go around and say their name and where they are from, I get so incredibly nervous? Like I know my name, I know where I'm from, this shouldn't be a problem …
- You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you've made up your mind that you just aren't doing anything productive for the rest of the day.
- Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after DVDs? I don't want to have to restart my collection.
- There's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.
- I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to.
- I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Dammit!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voicemail. What'd you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run away?
- I like all of the music in my iTunes, except when it's on shuffle, then I like about one in every fifteen songs in my iTunes.
- As a driver I hate pedestrians and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
- Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.
- I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.
- Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet my ass everyone can find and push the Snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time every time...
- My 4-year old son asked me in the car the other day "Dad what would happen if you ran over a ninja?" How the h*ll do I respond to that?
- I wonder if cops ever get p*ssed off at the fact that everyone they drive behind obeys the speed limit.
- I think the freezer deserves a light as well.
- The other night I ordered take away and when I looked in the bag, saw they had included four sets of plastic cutlery. In other words, someone at the restaurant packed my order, took a second to think about it, and then estimated that there must be at least four people eating to require such a large amount of food. Too bad I was eating by myself. There's nothing like being made to feel like a fat b*stard before dinner.
I laughed through most of these!
Especially the games console one.. Too right!
When you are reading something you're not interested in. You read it first time, nothing, you read it again, nothing. You read it a third time.. carefully. You get to the end and realise that you couldn't recite one word in the paragraph you have just read three times, never mind absorbed the content.
Jonny671 said:
Have you ever been walking down the street and realised that you're going in the complete opposite direction of where you are supposed to be going? But instead of just turning a 180 and walking back in the direction from which you came, you have to first do something like check your watch or phone or make a grand arm gesture and ****** to yourself to ensure that no one in the surrounding area thinks you're crazy by randomly switching directions on the sidewalk.
I find myself doing thatElskeggso said:
Jonny671 said:
Have you ever been walking down the street and realised that you're going in the complete opposite direction of where you are supposed to be going? But instead of just turning a 180 and walking back in the direction from which you came, you have to first do something like check your watch or phone or make a grand arm gesture and ****** to yourself to ensure that no one in the surrounding area thinks you're crazy by randomly switching directions on the sidewalk.
I find myself doing that
Nintendo as a kid?
When I was a kid we didn't have an inside toilet.
We only had 3 channels on the TV..
..And that finished at 11.30pm.. daytime TV? yeah, that was for school programmes.
We didn't have a telephone in the house, but still kept in touch with our families and friends by.........
...............Going out and visiting them.
Yous young uns had it easy.
When I was a kid we didn't have an inside toilet.
We only had 3 channels on the TV..
..And that finished at 11.30pm.. daytime TV? yeah, that was for school programmes.
We didn't have a telephone in the house, but still kept in touch with our families and friends by.........
...............Going out and visiting them.
Yous young uns had it easy.
"if you're going to cut and paste a huge bit of text to look like you wrote it, at least take all the americanisms out first. "
What?, even if he is American?.
The Nintendo cartridge thing we learned from blowing on the heads of tape players to remove dust that caused cassette tapes to sound funny.
If you punched a Dolphin it would turn on your and ram you to death. I know they are capable of this as Flipper would regularly kill any sharks that threatened Bud and Sandy.
What?, even if he is American?.
The Nintendo cartridge thing we learned from blowing on the heads of tape players to remove dust that caused cassette tapes to sound funny.
If you punched a Dolphin it would turn on your and ram you to death. I know they are capable of this as Flipper would regularly kill any sharks that threatened Bud and Sandy.
Edited by redtwin on Thursday 10th September 23:28
Jonny671 said:
- Have you ever been walking down the street and realised that you're going in the complete opposite direction of where you are supposed to be going? But instead of just turning a 180 and walking back in the direction from which you came, you have to first do something like check your watch or phone or make a grand arm gesture and ****** to yourself to ensure that no one in the surrounding area thinks you're crazy by randomly switching directions on the sidewalk.
I usually do this but once in Soho (London) I was marching along, saw this dodgy looking hood rat near a street corner I was passing, hands inside his hoodie pockets, head down but watching for something. Never thought anything of it, wanted to keep moving and marched on...soon after I realised I'd taken a wrong turn and I was walking down this dead street with no one around.I thought, 'This looks a bit dodgy round here', so instead of doing the usual fake look in a shop window/whatever, I stopped dead, absolutely dead and spun around instantly in the same movement just thinking, 'I want to be out of here fast' - and that acne riddled hood rat was right behind me, like 24 imperial inches behind and I never heard a thing.
As I spun around I looked him straight in the eye and he was looking right at me but looked like he got a bit of a shock - he swerved out of the way and put his head down. Must have taken him by surprise but I felt sure I was going to get mugged. I was so glad I didn't dawdle around before changing direction.
Why is ‘abbreviation’ such a long word?
If Teflon is non-stick, how do they get it to stick to the frying pan?
When you get a wrong number, why is it never engaged?
Before the Plague, what did people avoid things like?
How can a bearded man tell a barefaced lie? Or a bald man a hair-raising story?
If you keep fleas as pets, do you have to dust them with dog powder?
When in a crowded bus or train somebody treads on our toes, why do WE always apologise to THEM?
If rhinoceros horn is meant to be an aphrodisiac, how come they’re an endangered species?
Why isn’t the word ‘palindrome’ spelt the same way backwards?
How come people in pubs and restaurants insist in pointing to an empty chair and asking if anyone’s sitting in it?
If a parrot gets food poisoning, what is he as sick as?
Why is ‘dyslexia’ such a difficult word to spell?
Can a shortsighted person have a faraway look in his eye?
Is there such a place as the front of beyond?
What if the Hokey-Cokey really IS what it’s all about?
If ‘flammable’ means ‘likely to catch fire’, how come inflammable things aren’t fireproof?
How do they grow seedless grapes?
What does an occasional table do … the rest of the time?
If someone’s been ill, and is now better, why does he say he’s as ‘right as rain’? What’s right about rain?
Which reminds me, why do people always say, “It’s raining out,” when it’s obviously raining down?
Have you ever thought how stupid the phrase ‘now, then’ is?
If Teflon is non-stick, how do they get it to stick to the frying pan?
When you get a wrong number, why is it never engaged?
Before the Plague, what did people avoid things like?
How can a bearded man tell a barefaced lie? Or a bald man a hair-raising story?
If you keep fleas as pets, do you have to dust them with dog powder?
When in a crowded bus or train somebody treads on our toes, why do WE always apologise to THEM?
If rhinoceros horn is meant to be an aphrodisiac, how come they’re an endangered species?
Why isn’t the word ‘palindrome’ spelt the same way backwards?
How come people in pubs and restaurants insist in pointing to an empty chair and asking if anyone’s sitting in it?
If a parrot gets food poisoning, what is he as sick as?
Why is ‘dyslexia’ such a difficult word to spell?
Can a shortsighted person have a faraway look in his eye?
Is there such a place as the front of beyond?
What if the Hokey-Cokey really IS what it’s all about?
If ‘flammable’ means ‘likely to catch fire’, how come inflammable things aren’t fireproof?
How do they grow seedless grapes?
What does an occasional table do … the rest of the time?
If someone’s been ill, and is now better, why does he say he’s as ‘right as rain’? What’s right about rain?
Which reminds me, why do people always say, “It’s raining out,” when it’s obviously raining down?
Have you ever thought how stupid the phrase ‘now, then’ is?
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