Bits of weird conversations you've overheard

[NobleLord]

Working in London, I get to hear bits of many conversations as I go about my business each day. Walking back from lunch today I passed 2 builders sat on a step opposite the site. As I passed I heard one say to the other.... "with my shoulders on the floor and my arse on the settee while she set to it"

So, what odd snippets of conversation have you overheard lately?

NL

[Rouleur]

I heard this somewhere in London:

'...so I got him to rest his shoulders on the floor and his backside on the sofa, then I lubed it and shoved it in...'

[Huntsman]

A while ago, trying to establish a new nickname for a bloke called phil, overheard from another conversation (dont ask) 'pigfker', so Phil is now know as 'pigfker' although as far as I know he never has been involved in porcine interference.

[Steamer]

".....covered in piss"


stolen from Phoenix Nights

[Devilstreak]

Was in London a few weeks ago with a few mates. Walking down a side street near Leicester Sq and some builder said to his mate "I ain't getting on my fking hands n fking knees and doing that to any fker".. Made us anyway.

[Ikemi]

I heard someone proclaim, "with a melon!?"

It sounded like a surprised question, rather than a serving suggestion ...

[Four Cofffee]

Steamer said:

".....covered in piss"


stolen from Phoenix Nights

Beaten to it! Whenever it suddenly drops quiet I say this.

[MikeCR]

NobleLord said:

Working in London, I get to hear bits of many conversations as I go about my business each day. Walking back from lunch today I passed 2 builders sat on a step opposite the site. As I passed I heard one say to the other.... "with my shoulders on the floor and my arse on the settee while she set to it"

So, what odd snippets of conversation have you overheard lately?

NL

lol classic

[Dr Jekyll]

"........and ninthly......."

[ShadownINja]

Four Cofffee said:

Steamer said:

".....covered in piss"


stolen from Phoenix Nights

Beaten to it! Whenever it suddenly drops quiet I say this.

[Charlie Foxtrot]

Four Cofffee said:

Steamer said:

".....covered in piss"


stolen from Phoenix Nights

Beaten to it! Whenever it suddenly drops quiet I say this.

a couple more you might like to try that I do when it goes quiet in public.

"...that is disgusting she is your sister!"


"...but anyway it turned out to be a dog so everything was allright."

[paulmurr]

Years ago while out in Edinburgh with my brother we walked past comedian Lee Hurst who was gabbing to his mate. All we heard as we walked past was...

'fking shat himself'

I still laughed tho

[central]

Many years ago - "...so I got down on my hands and knees..."

[Steve_W]

Ikemi said:

I heard someone proclaim, "with a melon!?"

It sounded like a surprised question, rather than a serving suggestion ...

Monty Python - Book at Bedtime/Jackanory or something similar read by Eric Idle IIRC?

[ErnestM]

Posh awards dinner while I was in college.

Two girls at a table that I'm sitting at don't notice the host of the event (a fraternity brother of mine) calling for all to settle down.

Just as the room quiets, one of the girls said (in a rather loud voice) "...so I told him there is no WAY you are going to get that in there, it's too big and wouldn't look right anyway..."

The host was her boyfriend at the time. He turned all shades of red...

ErnestM

ps: turns out she was talking about a converstion with her father when he was trying to move an old sofa into her apartment for her

[gib6933]

The one that sticks in my memory is:
"I followed her around for nearly an hour, but she never did it again"

[sonic_2k_uk]

Walking back from the cinema with a friend, we passed 2 girls.... "and Mandy likes bum sex"

[oobster]

Heard this said in a Geordie accent in some hotel somewhere once:

"and funnily enough it landed on all four wheels and they drove away"

[MynameisRob]

oobster said:

Heard this said in a Geordie accent in some hotel somewhere once:

"and funnily enough it landed on all four wheels and they drove away"

On the tv?

[Asterix]

Four Cofffee said:

Steamer said:

".....covered in piss"


stolen from Phoenix Nights

Beaten to it! Whenever it suddenly drops quiet I say this.

What a jumentous saying!