Discussion
This idea has been shamelessly stolen from the B3ta forums, but as PH seems to have a vast array of people working in IT roles with varying degrees of boredom/monotony I thought it'd be good to get your stories.
I used to work on the NTL Support Desk, supporting the NTL cable technicians, all who had little laptops to help setting up the network connections/set top boxes. The company I was at operated a swap service for any knackered hardware, so you'd get the usual 'I've dropped my laptop down the stairs, can I have a new one please?' calls. The thing the technicians didn't understand is that we'd refurb any damaged hardware and put it back into circulation. However, NTL spent a bit of money and started introducing new, touch screen netbook style things and as soon as the engineers got wind of this, the calls escalated. I got a call from some young bloke who's wireless card wasn't worked he'd tried everything obviously, much to his annoyance after walking him through some fixes it worked again, he was pretty despondent. About an hour later, I get another call, same bloke needing to swap his laptop, I thought it was a recurrence of the same issue, oh no, he'd accidentally reversed over it. The desk got an angry call the following morning, his laptop was swapped for a refurbed one that was in worse condition than the one he destroyed.
NTL tightened up the amount of swaps that were happening because of escalating costs, we had to interrogate these technicians and usually get a raft of abuse for it. One particular bloke phoned up saying he'd lost his laptop, naturally assuming he was being a cock I asked him how he managed to lose a laptop. Turns out he lived in Doncaster, during some serious flooding a local river near his house burst it's banks, his living room has 6ft of water in it and his van had been washed away. Can't fault him for working through it though!
I used to work on the NTL Support Desk, supporting the NTL cable technicians, all who had little laptops to help setting up the network connections/set top boxes. The company I was at operated a swap service for any knackered hardware, so you'd get the usual 'I've dropped my laptop down the stairs, can I have a new one please?' calls. The thing the technicians didn't understand is that we'd refurb any damaged hardware and put it back into circulation. However, NTL spent a bit of money and started introducing new, touch screen netbook style things and as soon as the engineers got wind of this, the calls escalated. I got a call from some young bloke who's wireless card wasn't worked he'd tried everything obviously, much to his annoyance after walking him through some fixes it worked again, he was pretty despondent. About an hour later, I get another call, same bloke needing to swap his laptop, I thought it was a recurrence of the same issue, oh no, he'd accidentally reversed over it. The desk got an angry call the following morning, his laptop was swapped for a refurbed one that was in worse condition than the one he destroyed.
NTL tightened up the amount of swaps that were happening because of escalating costs, we had to interrogate these technicians and usually get a raft of abuse for it. One particular bloke phoned up saying he'd lost his laptop, naturally assuming he was being a cock I asked him how he managed to lose a laptop. Turns out he lived in Doncaster, during some serious flooding a local river near his house burst it's banks, his living room has 6ft of water in it and his van had been washed away. Can't fault him for working through it though!
Edited by Nardies on Thursday 15th October 17:04
I once did a short stint of working on the support desk of the company I used to work for in London. It was a media production company, so you'd think most would have a vague idea of how to work a computer.
I had a phone call from someone who said their computer wasn't working at all. Despite using that particular computer for a number of months, the night before they'd somehow decided to switch it off, not by using shut down as they'd done since the release of Windows 98, but by switching the power off.
What they had actually done was switched the screen off, and had overnight somehow transferred their memory of the 'big' power switch from the monitor to the computer itself, while entirely erasing the memory of the power button on the screen.
Basically they were switching the computer on and off with the monitor switched off.
I had a phone call from someone who said their computer wasn't working at all. Despite using that particular computer for a number of months, the night before they'd somehow decided to switch it off, not by using shut down as they'd done since the release of Windows 98, but by switching the power off.
What they had actually done was switched the screen off, and had overnight somehow transferred their memory of the 'big' power switch from the monitor to the computer itself, while entirely erasing the memory of the power button on the screen.
Basically they were switching the computer on and off with the monitor switched off.
I worked for a hardware company in the '80s as a product manager. We had a site specific issue with a woman's desktop PC - kept getting surge failures. So, I was having a look through the call log, and to paraphrase:
week1: Machine dead, swap out and restore - ok
week2: Machine dead, swap out and restore - ok
week3: Machine dead, swap out and restore. Install anti-stat mat at desk.
week4: Machine dead, swap out and restore. Suggest woman stops wearing nylon underwear to work.
week5: Machine dead, swap out and restore. Doctor's appointment made for user.
It turned out that this woman was one of the few people on the planet that generates a positive electromagnetic force from within. I no longer have the actual call log, but the detail made hysterical reading, especially the report on the conversation between the engineer and user on whether the woman wore nylon Underwear!
Another bloke we had on a mainframe was causing data checks by passing 2400ft tapes up his arm to carry them - across a magnetic rumation bracelet.
Another bloke cleaned all the tape drive heads and transport mechanism with JIF rather tha cleaning fluid. We had data checks out of all those drives for years despite changing all the internals. On inspection, you would always find a little blob of JIF on the tape.
There are hundreds more from mainframe days but they are even more boring than these...
week1: Machine dead, swap out and restore - ok
week2: Machine dead, swap out and restore - ok
week3: Machine dead, swap out and restore. Install anti-stat mat at desk.
week4: Machine dead, swap out and restore. Suggest woman stops wearing nylon underwear to work.
week5: Machine dead, swap out and restore. Doctor's appointment made for user.
It turned out that this woman was one of the few people on the planet that generates a positive electromagnetic force from within. I no longer have the actual call log, but the detail made hysterical reading, especially the report on the conversation between the engineer and user on whether the woman wore nylon Underwear!
Another bloke we had on a mainframe was causing data checks by passing 2400ft tapes up his arm to carry them - across a magnetic rumation bracelet.
Another bloke cleaned all the tape drive heads and transport mechanism with JIF rather tha cleaning fluid. We had data checks out of all those drives for years despite changing all the internals. On inspection, you would always find a little blob of JIF on the tape.
There are hundreds more from mainframe days but they are even more boring than these...
A friend of mine was trying to sort out a problem on a client site and asked if he could have the 'Master Security' ID and password.
"Certainly not, but you can have the 'field engineer' one."
"Well OK, that's better than nothing."
"The ID is 'Field', and the password 'Engineer'."
So he tried ID of 'Master' and password of 'Security', and it worked!
"Certainly not, but you can have the 'field engineer' one."
"Well OK, that's better than nothing."
"The ID is 'Field', and the password 'Engineer'."
So he tried ID of 'Master' and password of 'Security', and it worked!
Whilst working for RR at their datacentre in Derby, which at the time was the largest in Europe we used to 'joust' on the tape trollies... running the length of the machine rooms and using mops as lances... that stopped after an unexplainable broken arm...
Persauding new starts that they had to go into the floor voids, and then only if they could find their way to a certain server 'by touch', was a rite of passage...
having an irate caller ring up the helpdesk and shout - 'I have pressed the help key, why is nobody here helping me!' they thought it rang a bell on the helpdesk and someone would come to help...
Hearing a co-worker explain that the best thing to do would be to pack the PC back in the box it came from and let us pick it up... when asked why - their deadpan reply was '' Because you're obviously too f
king stupid to have a PC of your own ''
Going to a new secreatrys desk who was having problems... only to find the problem was that her mouse was at the edge of the mousemat, and the cursor wasn't far enough over to the right and she didn't know what to do ( like lift it up, and put the mouse in the middle of the mat again )..
Persauding new starts that they had to go into the floor voids, and then only if they could find their way to a certain server 'by touch', was a rite of passage...
having an irate caller ring up the helpdesk and shout - 'I have pressed the help key, why is nobody here helping me!' they thought it rang a bell on the helpdesk and someone would come to help...
Hearing a co-worker explain that the best thing to do would be to pack the PC back in the box it came from and let us pick it up... when asked why - their deadpan reply was '' Because you're obviously too f
king stupid to have a PC of your own ''Going to a new secreatrys desk who was having problems... only to find the problem was that her mouse was at the edge of the mousemat, and the cursor wasn't far enough over to the right and she didn't know what to do ( like lift it up, and put the mouse in the middle of the mat again )..
I "worked" in IT for around 5 years, mainly in Java, Lotus Notes, mySQL/SQL etc. In all that time nobody sussed that I had no idea what I was doing. A 12yo with any interest in development would know more than me (as was eventually realised in my last few months by bonce, a ph member I worked with
)
It makes me wonder how many other IT "professionals" are just winging it! In fact I know 60% of them just blag their way through it as there is some unwritten rule of never saying "I don't know"
I am sure the average IT bod has changed since I left around 5 years ago.
However, I always thought the reason IT software is so unstable and incompatable is because it was originally written by men who wore dodgy jumpers. A legacy still being suffered today.
End mini rant!
ETA Omg I used the word "legacy" noooooooooo!
)It makes me wonder how many other IT "professionals" are just winging it! In fact I know 60% of them just blag their way through it as there is some unwritten rule of never saying "I don't know"
I am sure the average IT bod has changed since I left around 5 years ago.
However, I always thought the reason IT software is so unstable and incompatable is because it was originally written by men who wore dodgy jumpers. A legacy still being suffered today.
End mini rant!
ETA Omg I used the word "legacy" noooooooooo!
Edited by GTIR on Friday 16th October 10:01
While at uni I worked at a well known IT retailer. We'd constantly have people coming in to drop PCs off, they'd always give you a crap overview of the problem "it crashes a bit" and then want a diagnosis. Obviously this is totally impossibe so you'd say "lets find out when we've got it on the bench".
For some reason people looked disapointed that an ID of the problem couldn't be found immediately. Therefor, a total genius that I work with came up with the LRF failure. So now we'd reply thusly
PCW Bod - "Ah, sounds to me like an LRF failure"
User - "What's that"
PCW Bod -"it's part of the setup, if it fails it causes the PC to become unstable"
LRF = Little Rubber Feat. If one of those fails on your PC then the whole box becomes "unstable"
For some reason people looked disapointed that an ID of the problem couldn't be found immediately. Therefor, a total genius that I work with came up with the LRF failure. So now we'd reply thusly
PCW Bod - "Ah, sounds to me like an LRF failure"
User - "What's that"
PCW Bod -"it's part of the setup, if it fails it causes the PC to become unstable"
LRF = Little Rubber Feat. If one of those fails on your PC then the whole box becomes "unstable"
CampDavid said:
While at uni I worked at a well known IT retailer. We'd constantly have people coming in to drop PCs off, they'd always give you a crap overview of the problem "it crashes a bit" and then want a diagnosis. Obviously this is totally impossibe so you'd say "lets find out when we've got it on the bench".
For some reason people looked disapointed that an ID of the problem couldn't be found immediately. Therefor, a total genius that I work with came up with the LRF failure. So now we'd reply thusly
PCW Bod - "Ah, sounds to me like an LRF failure"
User - "What's that"
PCW Bod -"it's part of the setup, if it fails it causes the PC to become unstable"
LRF = Little Rubber Feat. If one of those fails on your PC then the whole box becomes "unstable"
Where do the feet go? every pc ive ever had ends up with only 3.For some reason people looked disapointed that an ID of the problem couldn't be found immediately. Therefor, a total genius that I work with came up with the LRF failure. So now we'd reply thusly
PCW Bod - "Ah, sounds to me like an LRF failure"
User - "What's that"
PCW Bod -"it's part of the setup, if it fails it causes the PC to become unstable"
LRF = Little Rubber Feat. If one of those fails on your PC then the whole box becomes "unstable"
D'oh they are feet, i guess they walk.
A customer complained that 2 particular (and of course vital) reports that he needed wouldn't print out.
What he didn't say was that no reports or anything else would print. He also didn't say that the printer was out of paper and had a missing ink cartridge.
The print queue had about 1,500 jobs in it going back 11 months, all waiting for the printer's consumables to be replaced!
What he didn't say was that no reports or anything else would print. He also didn't say that the printer was out of paper and had a missing ink cartridge.
The print queue had about 1,500 jobs in it going back 11 months, all waiting for the printer's consumables to be replaced!
GTIR said:
I "worked" in IT for around 5 years, mainly in Java, Lotus Notes, mySQL/SQL etc. In all that time nobody sussed that I had no idea what I was doing. A 12yo with any interest in development would know more than me (as was eventually realised in my last few months by bonce, a ph member I worked with)
It makes me wonder how many other IT "professionals" are just winging it! In fact I know 60% of them just blag their way through it as there is some unwritten rule of never saying "I don't know"
I am sure the average IT bod has changed since I left around 5 years ago.
However, I always thought the reason IT software is so unstable and incompatable is because it was originally written by men who wore dodgy jumpers. A legacy still being suffered today.
End mini rant!
ETA Omg I used the word "legacy" noooooooooo!
Contractor I know spent 80% of his working week travelling from one site to another. Only after about a year was it realised he wasn't actually doing any work at these sites. Just going in, reading a few event logs etc.)It makes me wonder how many other IT "professionals" are just winging it! In fact I know 60% of them just blag their way through it as there is some unwritten rule of never saying "I don't know"
I am sure the average IT bod has changed since I left around 5 years ago.
However, I always thought the reason IT software is so unstable and incompatable is because it was originally written by men who wore dodgy jumpers. A legacy still being suffered today.
End mini rant!
ETA Omg I used the word "legacy" noooooooooo!
Edited by GTIR on Friday 16th October 10:01
Drove a new M5 too.
Tony*T3 said:
GTIR said:
Stuff
Contractor I know spent 80% of his working week travelling from one site to another. Only after about a year was it realised he wasn't actually doing any work at these sites. Just going in, reading a few event logs etc.Drove a new M5 too.
How was your M5 Sir Tony!
I used to work for Digital Equipment in their training centre.
I was the techie that looked after all the Vaxes.
When RK06 drives were replaced with RK07s (7mb to 14mb) we found out you could still use RK07 disk pack in RK06 drives if you stuck some tape over the ID slot. The downside was the lids no longer locked.
A particularly snotty instructor was demonstrating to his students how to unload a disk pack and opened the drive with the disk still spinning at around 90mph. He pulled it out of the drive with the top handle. Everything was fine until he slaned it slightly to put it in its case.
The gyroscopic effect pulled him all over the machine room for about 30 seconds.
I suppose you had to be there but it was funny as fk at the time
I was the techie that looked after all the Vaxes.
When RK06 drives were replaced with RK07s (7mb to 14mb) we found out you could still use RK07 disk pack in RK06 drives if you stuck some tape over the ID slot. The downside was the lids no longer locked.
A particularly snotty instructor was demonstrating to his students how to unload a disk pack and opened the drive with the disk still spinning at around 90mph. He pulled it out of the drive with the top handle. Everything was fine until he slaned it slightly to put it in its case.
The gyroscopic effect pulled him all over the machine room for about 30 seconds.
I suppose you had to be there but it was funny as f
k at the time Many years ago my boss was having company paid broadband installed in his house, it was due to be delivered between 10am and 4pm, I was to go to his house, and wait for it to arrive then set it up. It actually arrived at about 9.15, after that I spent the entire day playing Ultima online on my laptop and watching Sky TV! Good times!
Same boss (who was American) called me and said, I’m going to take the printer back to the states for the holidays, is that okay, assuming he meant the little inkjet on his desk I said yes. He then calls me from the airport complaining that they’re charging £275 excess baggage for it, and that he’s not paying so would I go and collect it. When I arrived at the airport I see him standing next to the main office laser printer (a big HP 4000 thingy), which he’d even taken the time shrink-wrap!! He preferred the how it printed and figured nobody would need it over the holidays. Idiot.
Nowadays I try and stay clear of these antics.
Same boss (who was American) called me and said, I’m going to take the printer back to the states for the holidays, is that okay, assuming he meant the little inkjet on his desk I said yes. He then calls me from the airport complaining that they’re charging £275 excess baggage for it, and that he’s not paying so would I go and collect it. When I arrived at the airport I see him standing next to the main office laser printer (a big HP 4000 thingy), which he’d even taken the time shrink-wrap!! He preferred the how it printed and figured nobody would need it over the holidays. Idiot.
Nowadays I try and stay clear of these antics.
Gassing Station | The Lounge | Top of Page | What's New | My Stuff