Last minute fancy dress advice...help!!

[f-fuxake]

I've just been told that the works Christmas dinner on Wednesday is fancy dress.
Due to shortage of cash I can't nip out and hire an outfit.
Any ideas for a cheap home made effort?
Thanks chaps

[Asterix]

Stick Branflakes all over your body and go as a leper.

[RizzoTheRat]

If you've got dark hair try a pair of black gloves, black socks and nothing else. 5 of spades.

[Neil H]

Do you have a green felt tip? Colour yourself in and go as the Incredible Hulk.

[Emsman]

I have an inflatable santa suit?

Step in, turn on fan, inflate to look like a proper fat fker.
Will have a look tonight, and courier up for you?

[Pothole]

what does your 'works' produce?

[f-fuxake]

Give me a shout Stu. 07545 160 908. I'll pay for the courier! :-)

[Emsman]

f-fuxake said:

Give me a shout Stu. 07545 160 908. I'll pay for the courier! :-)

Wont be home for a few hours, soon as i find it i will ring.

I can stand the courier, i think if i look back far enough, i might just owe you one!!

[DrTre]

Maybe it's a cursed Santa suit and all Emsmans luck will transfer over...

[f-fuxake]

OH NO!!!
Emsman's getting up into the loft!!


(BTW Pothole, it's a stroke rehab ward, nurses & therapists etc)

[Pothole]

so it's your work or work's CP then? Sorry, pet peeve...where the fk did the word 'works' come from in that application, annoys the st out of me.

[Justayellowbadge]

DrTre said:

Maybe it's a cursed Santa suit and all Emsmans luck will transfer over...

The Red suit of Patferrick?

[isee]

get the mankini borat style) on amazon (about a fiver)
and a nude opaque stocking on ebay (17 quid)
if you haven't got a real one, get a fake moustache.

Should be pretty memorable, HTH

[mattviatura]

Turn up wearing nothing but a pair of boxers. If anyone aske you've gone as premature ejaculation - just come in your shorts

[f-fuxake]

Pothole said:

Ranty stuff about punctuation

Does it really anger you so much?
Something tells me your disdain goes deeper than punctuation or the stresses of the day.
Get up on the couch and tell Dr Pistonhead about your childhood, did Mummy bring lots of 'uncles' home?!

[Penny-lope]

A walking Chrimbo prezzie....One large box, cut some holes for your head, arms and legs, the wrap and finish with a huge bow

Don't forget to wear feastive colour tights too

[ukwill]

i went a fancy dress party where they gave out awards to the top3 best outfits. the winner was a st... complete with nuts/sweetcorn embedded in the papier mache.

which reminds me, what happened to Topic Bars?

[HD Adam]

Emsman said:

I have an inflatable santa suit?

Step in, turn on fan, inflate to look like a proper fat fker.
Will have a look tonight, and courier up for you?

Noooooooooo.

It's a dead certainty that the suit will over pressure and you will die of the bends.

Probably

[Rach*]

I thought you looked like Ross Kemp?

Tight t-shirt etc

[Superhoop]

Just turn up an hour early, and when people ask what you're supposed to be say......





















Premature ejaculation - You've come early