*THE WORLD* Fix everything, put it all right, right here.
*THE WORLD* Fix everything, put it all right, right here.
Author
Discussion

dirty boy

Original Poster:

14,860 posts

239 months

Wednesday 23rd December 2009
quotequote all
Tell us what you think is wrong, then tell us how you'd fix it.

Anything.

Nuclear, immigration, prostitution, CO2.

Keep it brief, keep it simple, we're in the lounge.



Me.

Prisons

a) need to be a valuable deterrant in themselves, criminals need to know how bad and awful life in there will be

b) they cost too much to run, let's save some serious cash here.

  • 3 meals a day, consisting of the following: water, wholewheat bread/rice and pasta (no sauces), carrots, broccoli, peas, porridge, apples, oranges, eggs and milk, that will give them all the nutrients they need to be healthy.
  • 3 hours of excercise in a yard per day. 1 hour after food for one hour (allowing for digestion). The yard will be of wire fence construction, unscalable, and a rough dirt surface, absolutely no other items other than entertainment will be provided by means of one football per 20 inmates. This will encourage inmates into integrating and staying fit, if they don't then they're not getting fat due to their diet.
By having a simple diet and excercise, they will remain healthy and not become a burden on the health service upon release, they're also venting out via physical excercise regularly.

  • Cells 7x7, one bed, one matress, one toilet, indestructible. Standard issue clothing. st or fk up your mattress, you don't get another for 3 months. Mess your cell up with st or piss, automatic 3 month addition to your sentence. No personal belongings other than a maximum of 10 photos and a prison radio. All cells to have one small window with bars. Escape simply not an option.
  • Military approach to personal hygiene in the mornings.
  • Inmates will be locked up for the remainder, books will be allowed, but restricted to items similar to "The Animals of Farthing Wood" or "Dr Suess" I don't want them reading Andy McNab and to start getting ideas.
  • If they don't eat, let them starve
  • If they fight or abuse each other or guards, they will remain locked up in their cells with their radio and photos confiscated.
  • No fags, no drugs, no alcohol. Cold turkey? Tough. No pocket money, no benefits, no posessions.
  • One monitored phone call per inmate per week.
  • Visiting once per month, Saturday morning, behind glass.
  • No suicide watch, if that's what they want, then fine, don't make the taxpayer pay to keep them alive unecessarily.
That should do for me, i'll have to rely on the legal system to give the correct sentences, but someone else can fix that if necessary.

Gareth350

1,557 posts

209 months

Wednesday 23rd December 2009
quotequote all
Make hookers legal?! biggrin

V8mate

45,899 posts

219 months

Wednesday 23rd December 2009
quotequote all
dirty boy said:

Stuff...
Quiet day at the office?

dirty boy

Original Poster:

14,860 posts

239 months

Wednesday 23rd December 2009
quotequote all
V8mate said:
dirty boy said:

Stuff...
Quiet day at the office?
Just winding down.

ErnestM

11,621 posts

297 months

Wednesday 23rd December 2009
quotequote all
Tax - the last vestigial remnants of feudal society. Either get rid of all taxes or give us our serfs and peasants back. Can't be bothered which...

evenflow

8,877 posts

312 months

Wednesday 23rd December 2009
quotequote all
dirty boy said:

Stuff...
You've got my vote!

Sixpackpert

5,325 posts

244 months

Wednesday 23rd December 2009
quotequote all
Anyone driving with foglamps on when not foggy should be shot, on site, no questions asked.

Should help with congestion and lower CO2 as a handy side effect.

T89 Callan

8,422 posts

223 months

Wednesday 23rd December 2009
quotequote all
Make stupid people illegal. That would solve a st load of problems.

GingerWizard

4,721 posts

228 months

Wednesday 23rd December 2009
quotequote all
People should have to apply for a licence to have kids, once they have the first 2. They would need to be able to prove that they could look after them. If they dont they dont get any additional income from the state. (thinking of these jobless twunts that stay at home feeding and shagging there ugly munting wives all day!)

Also every one in the country who is allowed to be here should have finger prints taken and then stored (cash incentive might help) and then anyone who is arrested/stop searched should be detained indeffinatly untill the outcome of the asylum case is resolved. (if people dont want finger prints taken then they MUST have photographic ID.

Gwiz

norby1

472 posts

203 months

Wednesday 23rd December 2009
quotequote all
Sleeping policemen, road humps, suspension breakers, whatever you want to call them....would a line of traffic going down a road infested with these blighters actually emit more C02, and other baby seal killing nasties than the same line of traffic moving at a normal pace?

As opposed to the speed up, brake for the hump, speed up, brake for the hump which you normally get?

If I was President of the World, this would be where I would start.

Actually, binning exhaust noise limits at race circuits would be plan number 2

anonymous-user

84 months

Wednesday 23rd December 2009
quotequote all
I have some very very good ideas for fixing the world, however on the grounds that most are a bit.....forthright shall we say, and the remainder are downright........evil, then i'm keeping them to myself as i dont want to offend.

rocksteadyeddie

7,971 posts

257 months

Wednesday 23rd December 2009
quotequote all
snowy slopes said:
I have some very very good ideas for fixing the world, however on the grounds that most are a bit.....forthright shall we say, and the remainder are downright........evil, then i'm keeping them to myself as i dont want to offend.
You are in The Lounge. I wouldn't worry about that too much. Let's hear 'em.

madmatt1985

1,116 posts

237 months

Wednesday 23rd December 2009
quotequote all
bring back the death sentances

ofcorsa

3,546 posts

273 months

Wednesday 23rd December 2009
quotequote all
My simple solution to prison overcrowding, Make everyone in prison work, Make them work shifts, While some sleep others are working, Simples 3 times as many beds

anonymous-user

84 months

Wednesday 23rd December 2009
quotequote all
rocksteadyeddie said:
snowy slopes said:
I have some very very good ideas for fixing the world, however on the grounds that most are a bit.....forthright shall we say, and the remainder are downright........evil, then i'm keeping them to myself as i dont want to offend.
You are in The Lounge. I wouldn't worry about that too much. Let's hear 'em.
Lets just say it involves lots of deportations, tactically nuking a few countries, pissing off the eueopean union, lots of border patrols at the chunnel, and forcibly retreiving the 23 billion quid that that fking idiot blair gave away a while back

toxgobbler

2,903 posts

221 months

Wednesday 23rd December 2009
quotequote all
Why not offshore prisons, we do the same for call centres, shift them to somewhere like Poland/Hungary/etc, would cost a lot less, it's still in the EU, they have a slightly more old fashioned view of prisons too...

davidspooner

24,138 posts

224 months

Wednesday 23rd December 2009
quotequote all
No tax below £15k. 20% tax on income above £15k. No other taxation (eg council tax).

Dormitory accommodation and 12 hours a day work for those that need state help - no benefits/tax credits etc. Very happy to provide food and shelter to those in need, but living on the state should not be a desirable lifestyle choice.


norby1

472 posts

203 months

Wednesday 23rd December 2009
quotequote all
snowy slopes said:
rocksteadyeddie said:
snowy slopes said:
I have some very very good ideas for fixing the world, however on the grounds that most are a bit.....forthright shall we say, and the remainder are downright........evil, then i'm keeping them to myself as i dont want to offend.
You are in The Lounge. I wouldn't worry about that too much. Let's hear 'em.
Lets just say it involves lots of deportations, tactically nuking a few countries, pissing off the eueopean union, lots of border patrols at the chunnel, and forcibly retreiving the 23 billion quid that that fking idiot blair gave away a while back
Ah the basics then...biggrin

anonymous-user

84 months

Wednesday 23rd December 2009
quotequote all
Yeah y'know, i could go into serious detail but thats the nub of it

TheCarpetCleaner

7,294 posts

232 months

Wednesday 23rd December 2009
quotequote all
Make carpets a legal requirement in every home.

And make it a legal requirement to have them cleaned. Every month. By me.

Would simultaneously solve, and create all my worlds problems...