Things toddlers say
Discussion
My lads came up with some crackers when they were little but my granddaughter has topped them.
She's eighteen months, imperious and a chatterbox. The letter S is a problem for her at present, she pronounces it as SH. This makes her frequent commands for toys and random adults to "SIT!" fairly exciting.
Happy Christmas came out as Hairy Piss Piss which raised a few eyebrows as well.
She's eighteen months, imperious and a chatterbox. The letter S is a problem for her at present, she pronounces it as SH. This makes her frequent commands for toys and random adults to "SIT!" fairly exciting.
Happy Christmas came out as Hairy Piss Piss which raised a few eyebrows as well.
My 26 months old little boy repeats things he hears, I normally don't swear in general conversation at home or work but I have been known to let off a few expletives when I am behind the steering wheel. The wife wasn't impressed when he kept repeating 'oh s
t' all day 
It was when the snow first came down and I still had on my road/track tyres
t' all day 
It was when the snow first came down and I still had on my road/track tyres
My 2 year old loves a program called 'I can cook', she calls it 'I ca cock' .
The other day i was trying to teach her to say 'I love you' whilst walking round a supermarket, she got slightly confused mid sentance and proudly said 'I love cock'. Poor little blighter couldn't understand why everyone within ear shot was laughing at her. Bless.
The other day i was trying to teach her to say 'I love you' whilst walking round a supermarket, she got slightly confused mid sentance and proudly said 'I love cock'. Poor little blighter couldn't understand why everyone within ear shot was laughing at her. Bless.
Turbo5 said:
My 26 months old little boy repeats things he hears, I normally don't swear in general conversation at home or work but I have been known to let off a few expletives when I am behind the steering wheel. The wife wasn't impressed when he kept repeating 'oh s
t' all day 
It was when the snow first came down and I still had on my road/track tyres
Until aged 5 and half, I thought caravans were called "buggers" (genuinely) after all the times I was in the car when Dad got stuck behind one! Me and my brother would look out for them and shout, "there's another bugger, Dad!"
t' all day 
It was when the snow first came down and I still had on my road/track tyres

poo at Paul's said:
Turbo5 said:
My 26 months old little boy repeats things he hears, I normally don't swear in general conversation at home or work but I have been known to let off a few expletives when I am behind the steering wheel. The wife wasn't impressed when he kept repeating 'oh s
t' all day 
It was when the snow first came down and I still had on my road/track tyres
Until aged 5 and half, I thought caravans were called "buggers" (genuinely) after all the times I was in the car when Dad got stuck behind one! Me and my brother would look out for them and shout, "there's another bugger, Dad!"
t' all day 
It was when the snow first came down and I still had on my road/track tyres

My 2.5 yo calls Bob The Builder 'Bob Bulla' and 'Ki Fix' is 'Fix it'.
I caught him cleaning his red little tikes car with a sponge and milk from his bottle. Until Mrs Shaid decides to give him a telling off!
He has a fascination with towers and loves nothing more than stacking things high and then stepping back and admiring his work. He knows the difference between daddy car and any other car.
I caught him cleaning his red little tikes car with a sponge and milk from his bottle. Until Mrs Shaid decides to give him a telling off!
He has a fascination with towers and loves nothing more than stacking things high and then stepping back and admiring his work. He knows the difference between daddy car and any other car.
My 3.5 year old daughter is funny with her words. For ages the word 'frog' sounded like the word 'f
k' and to see the looks on grandparents faces was priceless!
Also we had a problem with flies as we found a dead mouse in the conservatory. Once I called them b
ds; the next time Norby1 jr spots one,she pipes up "look daddy, a b
d!!!!" We are veeeerrrry careful with our language now!!!
She is also good with her cars, whenever she sees the Merc 3 pointed star, that is a daddy car, all
Vauxhalls are mummy cars and all Citroens are bubba (grandma) cars.
k' and to see the looks on grandparents faces was priceless!Also we had a problem with flies as we found a dead mouse in the conservatory. Once I called them b
ds; the next time Norby1 jr spots one,she pipes up "look daddy, a b
d!!!!" We are veeeerrrry careful with our language now!!!She is also good with her cars, whenever she sees the Merc 3 pointed star, that is a daddy car, all
Vauxhalls are mummy cars and all Citroens are bubba (grandma) cars.
My neice, then aged 4, found my flying gloves once.
"What are these"?
"They're my flying gloves"
Niece then proceeded to hold one of the gloves out in front of her, and let it drop to the floor.
Ditto with the second glove.
Then she gave me a slightly sad, pitying look - I know now what it is to be regarded as senile and gaga by the younger generation.
"No" she said, with a mixture of solemnity and condescension far beyond her years. "They don't"
"What are these"?
"They're my flying gloves"
Niece then proceeded to hold one of the gloves out in front of her, and let it drop to the floor.
Ditto with the second glove.
Then she gave me a slightly sad, pitying look - I know now what it is to be regarded as senile and gaga by the younger generation.
"No" she said, with a mixture of solemnity and condescension far beyond her years. "They don't"
Puggit said:
When Puggit jnr was first talking, he'd shout f..k instead of frog, while jumping around the back garden for all to see...
Better now than his first divorce. 
My mate's 4 year old insists on referring to me as 'daddy's boyfriend'. I went with him to pick him up from school, and on the way out his teacher asks "who's that with your daddy?" "THAT'S DADDY'S BOYFRIEND" he said, in as loud a voice as the little sod could muster. Cue lots of mums giving us that understanding "you make a nice couple" look, and a very long conversation about rugby and guns on the way home...
eharding said:
My neice, then aged 4, found my flying gloves once.
"What are these"?
"They're my flying gloves"
Niece then proceeded to hold one of the gloves out in front of her, and let it drop to the floor.
Ditto with the second glove.
Then she gave me a slightly sad, pitying look - I know now what it is to be regarded as senile and gaga by the younger generation.
"No" she said, with a mixture of solemnity and condescension far beyond her years. "They don't"
"What are these"?
"They're my flying gloves"
Niece then proceeded to hold one of the gloves out in front of her, and let it drop to the floor.
Ditto with the second glove.
Then she gave me a slightly sad, pitying look - I know now what it is to be regarded as senile and gaga by the younger generation.
"No" she said, with a mixture of solemnity and condescension far beyond her years. "They don't"

With credit to another poster, 'this is my new favourite thing'.
Justayellowbadge said:
Shaid GTB said:
daddy car
Brilliant. We have one of those.When mine turned 3 I stopped correcting him - he can tell the make and model at a distance before I've even seen them.
I think it is great. His mother and her lawyers call it an indicator of Aspergers.

Mrs Shaid once got in the drivers seat of 'Daddy Car' so he started crying demanding she gets out! Good lad....
When my 2.5 year old stated that 'daddy LOVES Kia's' I threatened to disown him.
Mind you he knows all the makes by their badges and even some of the models. And if I take the Monaro to work he HAS to see me leave from the front door, as he likes the noise (get them trained young to appreciate a V8).
The wife is now consigned to the back seat as he likes to sit up front to tell me which way to go at junctions.
Mind you he knows all the makes by their badges and even some of the models. And if I take the Monaro to work he HAS to see me leave from the front door, as he likes the noise (get them trained young to appreciate a V8).
The wife is now consigned to the back seat as he likes to sit up front to tell me which way to go at junctions.
Years ago i very very nearly strangled my oldest nephew. Let me set the scene for you: I buy ur-quattro(in black pre digital dash) its my pride and joy, go to see brother and his wife, tank girl, and there offspring. Point out to eldest offspring uncle snowy has a new car, his comment? Yeah its okay, but its not like daddy's montego....... the little git
Think he was about 5 at the time
Think he was about 5 at the timeIt's amazing what they pick up
When my lad was about 4 we were sat having dinner with the in-laws, can't remember what the dish was but there were marrowfat peas served.
Lad pipes up and says "Grandad, these are Manfat peas" - cue awkward silence with SWMBO and myself both sniggering away.
When my lad was about 4 we were sat having dinner with the in-laws, can't remember what the dish was but there were marrowfat peas served.
Lad pipes up and says "Grandad, these are Manfat peas" - cue awkward silence with SWMBO and myself both sniggering away.
Our lad used to be obsessed with diggers, but always missed the "d" sound, so walked round pointing and shouting "igger, igger" all the time.
Now picture the scene in Clarks shoe shop getting his feet measured, by a very helful coloured gentlemen with a big picture of a "igger" on the wall behind him.
Now picture the scene in Clarks shoe shop getting his feet measured, by a very helful coloured gentlemen with a big picture of a "igger" on the wall behind him.
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