Returning to normal life after being a hostage
Discussion
After reading the wonderful news of the release of Peter Moore, I began to wonder about the above, how on earth will he return to normal life after the ordeal he has been through?
Will he continue to be debriefed? Do people who have been through this sort of thing ever manage to return to everyday life?
Will he continue to be debriefed? Do people who have been through this sort of thing ever manage to return to everyday life?
Hard question to answer and it very much depends on the makeup of the individual.
Some just get over it - in a few weeks/months it's little more than another memory to be talked about as any other. Others it can be traumatic for years and memories, flashbacks and a gammut of thoughts, feelings and emotions can plague them every day for the rest of their lives; PTSD with a few additional spikes and barbs.
Some get survivor's guilt, others don't. Some find a way of putting it into a meaningful context, others never do.
It is a very individual thing.
Perhaps the worst thing is that people have an expectation of how someone 'should' be behaving. That's when things get messy.
Some just get over it - in a few weeks/months it's little more than another memory to be talked about as any other. Others it can be traumatic for years and memories, flashbacks and a gammut of thoughts, feelings and emotions can plague them every day for the rest of their lives; PTSD with a few additional spikes and barbs.
Some get survivor's guilt, others don't. Some find a way of putting it into a meaningful context, others never do.
It is a very individual thing.
Perhaps the worst thing is that people have an expectation of how someone 'should' be behaving. That's when things get messy.
.A friend was a hostage in a war zone, he was a soldier. The army didn't really offer them enough help he says and definitely when he came home he appeared very unhinged for a year or two after it.
I can remember ridiculous behaviour like being in a car with him and him asking me if he should just drive on through a stop sign at a blind junction to see what would happen. He would get into fights all the time if he went to bars too. One time he was thrown out of a bar and went back with a crossbow! It was like he had no real regard for others, or infact his own mortality after his ordeal.
Thankfully he's better now...and is a policeman!
I can remember ridiculous behaviour like being in a car with him and him asking me if he should just drive on through a stop sign at a blind junction to see what would happen. He would get into fights all the time if he went to bars too. One time he was thrown out of a bar and went back with a crossbow! It was like he had no real regard for others, or infact his own mortality after his ordeal.
Thankfully he's better now...and is a policeman!
Read the Terry Waite, Brian Keening,John Mcarthy books. All were imprisoned together at some point in their captivity yet the vast difference in how they all dealt with it is stark. I once met Keening and he said you never get over it, but you learn to cope with it over time, a lot of time. But then reading his book
he seemed to be the one of the three who retained as much mental stability as I suppose you can in that situation (not that I could ever imagine the horror of being captive in those conditions), yet Terry Waite went off his head on religion. He told his story in about eight million pages of which six million were ranting about god.
he seemed to be the one of the three who retained as much mental stability as I suppose you can in that situation (not that I could ever imagine the horror of being captive in those conditions), yet Terry Waite went off his head on religion. He told his story in about eight million pages of which six million were ranting about god.
Weirdly I always thought that Brian Keenan looked the most traumatised on the telly pictures of him being released. I remember watching it and feeling massive pity / sympathy for him. Not that Terry Waite or John McCarthy looked like they had had a walk in the park either mind you.
TW was a C of E envoy, so he had faith before he went.
I remember listening to a radio interview with Sandi Toksvig who was a family friend of JM and that was quite thought provoking when she discussed his coming home - and also Jill Morell's suffering as the face of those that are left here trapped in a hinterland of not knowing.
TW was a C of E envoy, so he had faith before he went.
I remember listening to a radio interview with Sandi Toksvig who was a family friend of JM and that was quite thought provoking when she discussed his coming home - and also Jill Morell's suffering as the face of those that are left here trapped in a hinterland of not knowing.
TooLateForAName said:
Herbie58 said:
Terry Waite went off his head on religion. He told his story in about eight million pages of which six million were ranting about god.
He may have been like that beforehand. Remember how and why he got there.
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