Feeling down... marriage/life/inlaws

[aabbaa1980]

i hope you chaps dont mind, i have been feelig really down. just wanted to send my feelings into the void.

4 years ago i got married, my family disowned me as a result. 4 years on i am really unhappy; i have no family support and only a few friends. i am having issues with my inlaws and they basically as a result of my outburst a few days ago think i am an ass. i suppose i had enough of them.. and it all came out. i find my wife is not the women i ideally wanted... life sucks right now. got a kid due in 3 months... i been out of work for 4/5 months. thankfully i start a new job soon; really looking forward to it.

it feels good to just write this out... its coming off my chest now. thanks for reading.

[Steamer]

Make sure you find something to put a smile on your face tomorrow then.

Jan 5th - statistically the most depressing day of the year!

[Simbu]

[quote=aabbaa1980] i find my wife is not the women i ideally wanted... life sucks right now. got a kid due in 3 months... i been out of work for 4/5 months. [quote]

Sounds like alot to be dealing with at once, especially without the support you'd want from family! I suspect your wife has been experiencing her share of 'pregnancy mental', not to mention the stress of thinknig about financing having a child if you've been out of work.

But, it sounds like things are on the up. A new job will releive alot of pressure and allow some time away form the missus (too much time together can be a bad thing) and while i don't speak from experience, i bet in 3 month's time the negative feelings you have will fade into the background

[chunkymonkey71]

totally know how you feel, man.

PM me if you want to chat.

[missdiane]

In what way is your wife not ideal? Could it be the stress getting to you?

[Elskeggso]

Good luck with the job, a big change like that is bound to make a difference

[aabbaa1980]

i am really tearful reading your comments. i am so shocked guys that your comments has touched me so deep. thanks guys.

[aabbaa1980]

missdiane said:

In what way is your wife not ideal? Could it be the stress getting to you?

she is constantly moody, swears at me so freely. of course i end up replying. its changed my personality for the worse.

i just turned 29... i am not experienced with dealing with families and inlaws. i told my mother inlaw about her daughter and her behaviour and she takes her daughters side. the mother inlaw went on to say that we are not suitable for each other. i feel like never seeing them again. i feel like telling her something but i dont know what i should say; i dont want to be rude. apparently she thinks i am an a'hole.

I live so close to them.. about 300 meters away from them. i need to move i think asap! hoping to move by early 2011.

i am sure i am to blame; i am sure i am not innocent and my frustration has led to me saying to much.

i felt like going out and getting drunk; lol but i dont drink ever!

[Catz]

You're probably just feeling a bit down after being out of a job for a while, plus this time of year makes lots of people feel rubbish anyway. Your wife probably isn't her normal self due to all the hormones coursing round her body so give her a bit of leeway for the moment.

Get the new job on the go, look forward to the birth of your child and hopefully in 3/4 months all will be well again. Try to think about a new family unit, you, your wife and your new baby.

[Mobile Chicane]

When you've reached rock bottom (and it sounds as though you have), remember that the only way is up.

Open a bottle of something fizzy to celebrate.

Edited by Mobile Chicane on Monday 4th January 23:43

[Justayellowbadge]

Grow up. You are about to be parent.

You no longer have the luxury of acting like a sixth former.

[aabbaa1980]

Justayellowbadge said:

Grow up. You are about to be parent.

You no longer have the luxury of acting like a sixth former.

i think you are right. i need to get a grip!

i just don't want anything to do with my in-laws. don't even want them seeing the kid! am i being unreasonable?

[Justayellowbadge]

aabbaa1980 said:

Justayellowbadge said:

Grow up. You are about to be parent.

You no longer have the luxury of acting like a sixth former.

i think you are right. i need to get a grip!

i just don't want anything to do with my in-laws. don't even want them seeing the kid! am i being unreasonable?

Yes.

[aabbaa1980]

Justayellowbadge said:

aabbaa1980 said:

Justayellowbadge said:

Grow up. You are about to be parent.

You no longer have the luxury of acting like a sixth former.

i think you are right. i need to get a grip!

i just don't want anything to do with my in-laws. don't even want them seeing the kid! am i being unreasonable?

Yes.

surely if they think 4 years on they think i am not suited to their daughter and that i am an ass why should i let them see my kid?!

[Mobile Chicane]

aabbaa1980 said:

Justayellowbadge said:

aabbaa1980 said:

Justayellowbadge said:

Grow up. You are about to be parent.

You no longer have the luxury of acting like a sixth former.

i think you are right. i need to get a grip!

i just don't want anything to do with my in-laws. don't even want them seeing the kid! am i being unreasonable?

Yes.

surely if they think 4 years on they think i am not suited to their daughter and that i am an ass why should i let them see my kid?!

The sight of a little pink bundle will turn them...

[anonymous-user]

Have you though about making up with your family, it may sound mad but you never know they could be missing you too...

On another note pregnant women can be really vile, just let them have their way and don't asume anything.

Edited by anonymous-user on Monday 4th January 23:58

[Hedders]

TVR Moneypit said:

Although whilst trying to type this I have just dropped an entire semi melted tub of chocolate brownie ice cream all over the beige carpets, spilling around 95% of it. I'd been looking forward to that all afternoon, and now it is covered in cat hair

Have you got one of those vaccuum cleaners designed to get pet hairs out of stuff?

[TubbyTommy]

I have a idea of how you feel I was in a similar situation not long ago. As been said the only way is up it doesn't help with the in laws being so close. Mine are about 2 miles to close to me but the wife insists on seeing them every other day and speaking to them on the phone minimum 2 hours a night when we aren't there.

Recently I did blow my top with them and since then they don't seem to be as pushy as they were before. Just try not to bottle up emotions because one day they will explode and that can cause some serious upset.

Think of the positives you have to look forward to I.e new job, new child. Things always turn out good in the end.

[Kit80]

aabbaa1980 said:

Justayellowbadge said:

aabbaa1980 said:

Justayellowbadge said:

Grow up. You are about to be parent.

You no longer have the luxury of acting like a sixth former.

i think you are right. i need to get a grip!

i just don't want anything to do with my in-laws. don't even want them seeing the kid! am i being unreasonable?

Yes.

surely if they think 4 years on they think i am not suited to their daughter and that i am an ass why should i let them see my kid?!

Your kid is not a weapon you retard.

[Plotloss]

aabbaa1980 said:

Justayellowbadge said:

aabbaa1980 said:

Justayellowbadge said:

Grow up. You are about to be parent.

You no longer have the luxury of acting like a sixth former.

i think you are right. i need to get a grip!

i just don't want anything to do with my in-laws. don't even want them seeing the kid! am i being unreasonable?

Yes.

surely if they think 4 years on they think i am not suited to their daughter and that i am an ass why should i let them see my kid?!

Because like it or not, it will be their daughter's child too and your child will benefit from having Grandparents regardless of how you feel about them.

Remember also that your wife is going through some fairly serious hormonal changes, if you're 3-4 months out you're right in the arrival of the hormone ferry which is like those tense few days every four weeks but magnified somewhat.

Now man up and start putting your child first. Too few people do that these days.