Just came across this, nearly laughed my arse literally off
Discussion
http://www.dontevenreply.com/index.php
It's a bunch of emails responding to ads with both sides posted. Like this gem:
Original ad:
I am a 18 year old looking for a summer job. it is hard for me to find work and I just want a job so I can afford a car for college next summer. I can clean, babysit, answer phones, pretty much whatever as long as it pays!!
From Mike Anderson to ***********@***********.org
Hey,
I saw your ad looking for work and I think I have a job for you! I am looking for an assistant on my farm for the summer. It will involve working outdoors. Let me know if you are interested.
Mike
From Stephanie ******* to Me
Hi Mike! I am interested in your job! I love animals and used to ride horses so a farm would be great! what kind of work would I be doing, and where is your farm located? it needs to be close to ******** so my parents can drop me off and pick meup
From Mike Anderson to Stephanie *********
Stephanie,
It is very close to **********. I'm glad to hear you are familiar with horses, because you will be primarily working with horses.
My farm gets all the old horses that other farms don't need anymore, and they are starting to take up a lot of room in my stable, which I want to turn into a garage for my new truck. Therefore, the horses need to go. As my assistant, you will be in charge of killing the horses and dumping them in the lake behind my farm.
I used to have a captive bolt pistol (cattle gun) that I used to put them down, but it broke when I tried to use it to tap a keg. You'll probably have to use my 12-gauge shotgun to put them down. Sometimes they don't die right away when you shoot them, and will start freaking out. You just have to stay calm and keep shooting. Don't worry, I'll show you how to use the shotgun if you aren't familiar with one.
You then need to use my chainsaw to cut the horses into smaller parts that you can carry down to the lake. It can get a little messy, so I suggest wearing some clothes that you don't care about, or some clothes that the horse blood would compliment.
The lake isn't mine, it is my neighbor's. He gets kind of angry when he sees me dumping dead horses in his lake, so you have to make sure he isn't around when you do it. I have some cinderblocks you can use to weigh the horses down so he won't see them.
I have a lot of horses, and each horse takes about an hour and a half to dispose of, so you should have plenty of work. The job will pay $15 an hour. When can you start?
Mike
From Stephanie ******* to Me
omg that is HORRIBLE! That is truely awful and sick!! Why cant you just give the poor horses away? sorry but I am not helping you slaughter horses!!!
From Mike Anderson to Stephanie *********
Stephanie,
I'm sorry if you are a bit surprised, but this is how farms work. You can't give away old horses, you have to kill them. I thought about it, and if you don't want to use the chainsaw to cut up the horses, you can just use my truck to drag them down to the lake. Do you have your license or permit? If not, this could be good driving practice for you. You don't want to pass up on this great job opportunity.
Mike
From Stephanie ******* to Me
No that is not how farms work you are just SICK! I am NOT interested
From Mike Anderson to Stephanie *********
Stephanie you are going to regret this some day when you try to get a real job. I think this would look great on your resume.
There are better ones, too!
It's a bunch of emails responding to ads with both sides posted. Like this gem:
Original ad:
I am a 18 year old looking for a summer job. it is hard for me to find work and I just want a job so I can afford a car for college next summer. I can clean, babysit, answer phones, pretty much whatever as long as it pays!!
From Mike Anderson to ***********@***********.org
Hey,
I saw your ad looking for work and I think I have a job for you! I am looking for an assistant on my farm for the summer. It will involve working outdoors. Let me know if you are interested.
Mike
From Stephanie ******* to Me
Hi Mike! I am interested in your job! I love animals and used to ride horses so a farm would be great! what kind of work would I be doing, and where is your farm located? it needs to be close to ******** so my parents can drop me off and pick meup
From Mike Anderson to Stephanie *********
Stephanie,
It is very close to **********. I'm glad to hear you are familiar with horses, because you will be primarily working with horses.
My farm gets all the old horses that other farms don't need anymore, and they are starting to take up a lot of room in my stable, which I want to turn into a garage for my new truck. Therefore, the horses need to go. As my assistant, you will be in charge of killing the horses and dumping them in the lake behind my farm.
I used to have a captive bolt pistol (cattle gun) that I used to put them down, but it broke when I tried to use it to tap a keg. You'll probably have to use my 12-gauge shotgun to put them down. Sometimes they don't die right away when you shoot them, and will start freaking out. You just have to stay calm and keep shooting. Don't worry, I'll show you how to use the shotgun if you aren't familiar with one.
You then need to use my chainsaw to cut the horses into smaller parts that you can carry down to the lake. It can get a little messy, so I suggest wearing some clothes that you don't care about, or some clothes that the horse blood would compliment.
The lake isn't mine, it is my neighbor's. He gets kind of angry when he sees me dumping dead horses in his lake, so you have to make sure he isn't around when you do it. I have some cinderblocks you can use to weigh the horses down so he won't see them.
I have a lot of horses, and each horse takes about an hour and a half to dispose of, so you should have plenty of work. The job will pay $15 an hour. When can you start?
Mike
From Stephanie ******* to Me
omg that is HORRIBLE! That is truely awful and sick!! Why cant you just give the poor horses away? sorry but I am not helping you slaughter horses!!!
From Mike Anderson to Stephanie *********
Stephanie,
I'm sorry if you are a bit surprised, but this is how farms work. You can't give away old horses, you have to kill them. I thought about it, and if you don't want to use the chainsaw to cut up the horses, you can just use my truck to drag them down to the lake. Do you have your license or permit? If not, this could be good driving practice for you. You don't want to pass up on this great job opportunity.
Mike
From Stephanie ******* to Me
No that is not how farms work you are just SICK! I am NOT interested
From Mike Anderson to Stephanie *********
Stephanie you are going to regret this some day when you try to get a real job. I think this would look great on your resume.
There are better ones, too!
Original ad:
WANTED - Microwave
I am looking for a used microwave. WHITE ONLY
From Me to *********@************.org:
I have a LG microwave that I want to sell for $30. I am aware that your ad said whites only, but I am an African American. I sincerly hope that this won't be a problem for you, and we can put race issues aside and just do business.
Thank you,
Jamal
From Amy ****** to Me:
I am so sorry that you misread my ad. I meant the microwave should be white, because it would match my kitchen.
Amy
From Me to Amy ******:
Oh, so because I am black, you think that I can't read? It really is amazing that the world we live in is still so racist. I'm sorry, but your insults have left me feeling sick. I don't think I can sell my microwave to a bigot.
Sincerely offended,
Jamal
From Amy ****** to Me:
I wasn't suggesting that you couldn't read. I'm not racist. If you read my whole email you would see that the ad was looking for a white microwave, not a white person. I changed the ad to avoid any confusion.
Amy
From Me to Amy ******:
So now you think that because I am black, I am too lazy to read your whole e-mails. Your racism is overwhelming. You will never get my microwave from me. I will, however, sell you a burning cross for your next klan meeting. Does $20 for the cross sound fair?
From Amy ****** to Me:
I can't write anything without you being offended! I give up!
From Me to Amy ******:
So you don't want the microwave?
From Amy ****** to Me:
Will you still sell it to me?
From Me to Amy ******:
I would never sell anything to a racist.
From Amy ****** to Me:
Ugh I'm done with you.
WANTED - Microwave
I am looking for a used microwave. WHITE ONLY
From Me to *********@************.org:
I have a LG microwave that I want to sell for $30. I am aware that your ad said whites only, but I am an African American. I sincerly hope that this won't be a problem for you, and we can put race issues aside and just do business.
Thank you,
Jamal
From Amy ****** to Me:
I am so sorry that you misread my ad. I meant the microwave should be white, because it would match my kitchen.
Amy
From Me to Amy ******:
Oh, so because I am black, you think that I can't read? It really is amazing that the world we live in is still so racist. I'm sorry, but your insults have left me feeling sick. I don't think I can sell my microwave to a bigot.
Sincerely offended,
Jamal
From Amy ****** to Me:
I wasn't suggesting that you couldn't read. I'm not racist. If you read my whole email you would see that the ad was looking for a white microwave, not a white person. I changed the ad to avoid any confusion.
Amy
From Me to Amy ******:
So now you think that because I am black, I am too lazy to read your whole e-mails. Your racism is overwhelming. You will never get my microwave from me. I will, however, sell you a burning cross for your next klan meeting. Does $20 for the cross sound fair?
From Amy ****** to Me:
I can't write anything without you being offended! I give up!
From Me to Amy ******:
So you don't want the microwave?
From Amy ****** to Me:
Will you still sell it to me?
From Me to Amy ******:
I would never sell anything to a racist.
From Amy ****** to Me:
Ugh I'm done with you.
Original ad:
WILMINGTON TO CHICAGO
I'm driving out to Chicago on 9/1 around noon. I'm looking for someone to split the cost of gas/tolls. If interested, send me an email.
From Me to ***********@*********.org
Hi!
I am trying to go to Chicago, and the 1st sounds good to me. I took my ex-girlfriend's EZ-pass out of her car when she wasn't looking, so we can use that to pay for tolls. I have a few things I want to bring, do you have a lot of room?
Mike
From Brian ****** to Me:
Hi Mike,
Will the easy pass still work even though it isn't in your ex's car? I do have some room, what are you trying to bring?
From Me to Brian ******:
Brian,
I just want to bring a few duffel bags of clothes. Also, yes, the EZ pass will still work.
Mike
From Brian ****** to Me:
That shouldn't be a problem. By the way, how old are you? Can you tell me a bit about yourself?
From Me to Brian ******:
I am 25, and I am a landscaper. I actually am going to Chicago for a national landscaper convention.
I just remembered, I also need to bring my weedwhacker. Will that fit in your car?
Mike
From Brian ****** to Me:
It should...I have a Honda Civic but it has a trunk access panel and we might be able to lay it across the back seat/trunk.
From Me to Brian ******:
Great! I also have a mini-fridge that I want to bring (my hotel doesn't have one, and I need to keep my vodka chilled). Can we squeeze this in as well?
Mike
From Brian ****** to Me:
How big is it. I need room for my things too.
From Me to Brian ******:
It is about half the size of a normal fridge. I have some duct tape and rope, we could strap it to the roof of your car.
From Brian ****** to Me:
I don't want to do that sorry. How about you bring it and we can see if it will fit.
From Me to Brian ******:
Sounds good! I'm sure it will fit. I also want to bring my TV...it is a 50" flat screen. Is that a problem? I really hate the small TVs they have at the hotel.
From Brian ****** to Me:
How much s
t are you bringing dude? Are you trying to move to Chicago? I said I have a Civic... not a moving van.
From Me to Brian ******:
I'm not bringing that much stuff, just my clothes, weedwhacker, mini-fridge, and TV. You said you had room for my stuff...now you don't? I don't understand. Does this mean we can't take my recliner either?
From Brian ****** to Me:
Are you for real?
From Me to Brian ******:
Yes I am for real.
I just had an idea...Does your Civic have a hitch? I want to bring my Ford F250 truck, could we hook it to your car? It would be nice for me to have my truck in Chicago so I don't have to ride in those dirty cabs everywhere. We could put some of the stuff I want to bring in the bed of my truck, since you "suddenly" don't have that much room.
From Brian ****** to Me:
Why don't you just drive your goddamn truck there. This is crazy
From Me to Brian ******:
Don't get me wrong, I love my truck, but it isn't so good on gas mileage. Can't we just tow it there? It works out better this way, because I wanted to bring my four wheeler but was afraid to ask you because you seem to be getting all pissy about me bringing my stuff.
From Brian ****** to Me:
Why the hell do you need all this st for a trip to chicago. If anything it is your truck that should be towing my Civic. For christ's sake man, get real.
From Me to Brian ******:
Oh, do you think your Civic isn't capable of towing my truck? I understand. Tell you what, I'll talk to my friend Anthony. He's a mechanic, and could put a better motor in your car so it has more power to tow my truck. It shouldn't cost that much. What is your number? I'll tell him to give you a call.
From Brian ****** to Me:
I'm done talking to you.
From Me to Brian ******:
So am I still getting the ride? I talked to Anthony and he actually needs a ride to Chicago too. I told him he could come if he helps pay for gas. Do you have an extra seat for him? He might have some stuff he wants to bring.
WILMINGTON TO CHICAGO
I'm driving out to Chicago on 9/1 around noon. I'm looking for someone to split the cost of gas/tolls. If interested, send me an email.
From Me to ***********@*********.org
Hi!
I am trying to go to Chicago, and the 1st sounds good to me. I took my ex-girlfriend's EZ-pass out of her car when she wasn't looking, so we can use that to pay for tolls. I have a few things I want to bring, do you have a lot of room?
Mike
From Brian ****** to Me:
Hi Mike,
Will the easy pass still work even though it isn't in your ex's car? I do have some room, what are you trying to bring?
From Me to Brian ******:
Brian,
I just want to bring a few duffel bags of clothes. Also, yes, the EZ pass will still work.
Mike
From Brian ****** to Me:
That shouldn't be a problem. By the way, how old are you? Can you tell me a bit about yourself?
From Me to Brian ******:
I am 25, and I am a landscaper. I actually am going to Chicago for a national landscaper convention.
I just remembered, I also need to bring my weedwhacker. Will that fit in your car?
Mike
From Brian ****** to Me:
It should...I have a Honda Civic but it has a trunk access panel and we might be able to lay it across the back seat/trunk.
From Me to Brian ******:
Great! I also have a mini-fridge that I want to bring (my hotel doesn't have one, and I need to keep my vodka chilled). Can we squeeze this in as well?
Mike
From Brian ****** to Me:
How big is it. I need room for my things too.
From Me to Brian ******:
It is about half the size of a normal fridge. I have some duct tape and rope, we could strap it to the roof of your car.
From Brian ****** to Me:
I don't want to do that sorry. How about you bring it and we can see if it will fit.
From Me to Brian ******:
Sounds good! I'm sure it will fit. I also want to bring my TV...it is a 50" flat screen. Is that a problem? I really hate the small TVs they have at the hotel.
From Brian ****** to Me:
How much s
t are you bringing dude? Are you trying to move to Chicago? I said I have a Civic... not a moving van.From Me to Brian ******:
I'm not bringing that much stuff, just my clothes, weedwhacker, mini-fridge, and TV. You said you had room for my stuff...now you don't? I don't understand. Does this mean we can't take my recliner either?
From Brian ****** to Me:
Are you for real?
From Me to Brian ******:
Yes I am for real.
I just had an idea...Does your Civic have a hitch? I want to bring my Ford F250 truck, could we hook it to your car? It would be nice for me to have my truck in Chicago so I don't have to ride in those dirty cabs everywhere. We could put some of the stuff I want to bring in the bed of my truck, since you "suddenly" don't have that much room.
From Brian ****** to Me:
Why don't you just drive your goddamn truck there. This is crazy
From Me to Brian ******:
Don't get me wrong, I love my truck, but it isn't so good on gas mileage. Can't we just tow it there? It works out better this way, because I wanted to bring my four wheeler but was afraid to ask you because you seem to be getting all pissy about me bringing my stuff.
From Brian ****** to Me:
Why the hell do you need all this s
t for a trip to chicago. If anything it is your truck that should be towing my Civic. For christ's sake man, get real.From Me to Brian ******:
Oh, do you think your Civic isn't capable of towing my truck? I understand. Tell you what, I'll talk to my friend Anthony. He's a mechanic, and could put a better motor in your car so it has more power to tow my truck. It shouldn't cost that much. What is your number? I'll tell him to give you a call.
From Brian ****** to Me:
I'm done talking to you.
From Me to Brian ******:
So am I still getting the ride? I talked to Anthony and he actually needs a ride to Chicago too. I told him he could come if he helps pay for gas. Do you have an extra seat for him? He might have some stuff he wants to bring.
Symbolica said:
Original ad:
WANTED - Microwave
I am looking for a used microwave. WHITE ONLY
From Me to *********@************.org:
I have a LG microwave that I want to sell for $30. I am aware that your ad said whites only, but I am an African American. I sincerly hope that this won't be a problem for you, and we can put race issues aside and just do business.
Thank you,
Jamal
From Amy ****** to Me:
I am so sorry that you misread my ad. I meant the microwave should be white, because it would match my kitchen.
Amy
From Me to Amy ******:
Oh, so because I am black, you think that I can't read? It really is amazing that the world we live in is still so racist. I'm sorry, but your insults have left me feeling sick. I don't think I can sell my microwave to a bigot.
Sincerely offended,
Jamal
From Amy ****** to Me:
I wasn't suggesting that you couldn't read. I'm not racist. If you read my whole email you would see that the ad was looking for a white microwave, not a white person. I changed the ad to avoid any confusion.
Amy
From Me to Amy ******:
So now you think that because I am black, I am too lazy to read your whole e-mails. Your racism is overwhelming. You will never get my microwave from me. I will, however, sell you a burning cross for your next klan meeting. Does $20 for the cross sound fair?
From Amy ****** to Me:
I can't write anything without you being offended! I give up!
From Me to Amy ******:
So you don't want the microwave?
From Amy ****** to Me:
Will you still sell it to me?
From Me to Amy ******:
I would never sell anything to a racist.
From Amy ****** to Me:
Ugh I'm done with you.
That is TOP CLASS sir!!!WANTED - Microwave
I am looking for a used microwave. WHITE ONLY
From Me to *********@************.org:
I have a LG microwave that I want to sell for $30. I am aware that your ad said whites only, but I am an African American. I sincerly hope that this won't be a problem for you, and we can put race issues aside and just do business.
Thank you,
Jamal
From Amy ****** to Me:
I am so sorry that you misread my ad. I meant the microwave should be white, because it would match my kitchen.
Amy
From Me to Amy ******:
Oh, so because I am black, you think that I can't read? It really is amazing that the world we live in is still so racist. I'm sorry, but your insults have left me feeling sick. I don't think I can sell my microwave to a bigot.
Sincerely offended,
Jamal
From Amy ****** to Me:
I wasn't suggesting that you couldn't read. I'm not racist. If you read my whole email you would see that the ad was looking for a white microwave, not a white person. I changed the ad to avoid any confusion.
Amy
From Me to Amy ******:
So now you think that because I am black, I am too lazy to read your whole e-mails. Your racism is overwhelming. You will never get my microwave from me. I will, however, sell you a burning cross for your next klan meeting. Does $20 for the cross sound fair?
From Amy ****** to Me:
I can't write anything without you being offended! I give up!
From Me to Amy ******:
So you don't want the microwave?
From Amy ****** to Me:
Will you still sell it to me?
From Me to Amy ******:
I would never sell anything to a racist.
From Amy ****** to Me:
Ugh I'm done with you.
I tip my hat to you.
Loved this one:
..........................
Posted at: 2009-11-25 02:31:59 | 154 comments | Add Comment
Original ad:
We are a little league team looking for a sponsor for the upcoming season. Email if you are interested in helping out. Thanks!
From Me to ********@***********.org
Good afternoon,
I came across your ad looking for a sponsor for your little league team. I am interested if you still need one. Let me know, and we can discuss the details.
Thanks,
Mike
From Joe ********* to Me:
Hey Mike,
My name is Joe. I have been the coach of this team and greatly appreciate the offer. We still do need a sponsor and I would like to hear what you have to offer. The league will not start up again until mid-April so we will have some time. Let me know what you were thinking for sponsorship, you can email or call me anytime at (***)***-****
Thanks,
Joe
From Me to Joe *********:
Joe,
I am glad to hear you are still interested. I would like to have my company name on your team's uniform and fence sign. How much would it cost to do this?
Mike
From Joe ********* to Me:
Hi Mike,
The cost to fully sponsor our team would be $800. It would cover ordering the jerseys and equipment. At the end of the season you will be recognized at our ceremony and will receive a framed photo of the team and your own uniform. What is your company's name and do you have a website?
Thanks,
Joe
From Me to Joe *********:
That sounds reasonable Joe. I am the founder of an adult film company called BarelyLegalSuperSluts. We specialize in 18+ amateur pornography and I would like to get our name out there. We plan on lanuching our site around April, so I think the timing would be perfect with your league. I can forward you our logo and we will discuss designs for the uniforms.
Mike
From Joe ********* to Me:
Mike,
Do you realize this sponsorship is for a little league team?
Joe
From Me to Joe *********:
Yes, you told me that. I think it is great that I'll be able to help kids enjoy America's greatest pastime.
From Joe ********* to Me:
and you honestly expect a bunch of kids to be sporting a jersey that says Barely Legal Super Sluts?
From Me to Joe *********:
Is it too long to fit on the jersey? We could just call them the Super Sluts for short as long as the sign on the field included the link to our website.
From Joe ********* to Me:
No that isn't the problem. This team is for kids and we can't have them wearing shirts that say Super Sluts on them. It is highly offensive and the league most likely wouldn't even allow it.
From Me to Joe *********:
How about we call them the Barely Legal Little Leaguers? I would include a free copy of our Super Sluts Slurping Loads DVD for every parent that attends the game. The DVD features over 3 hours of sluts with hilarious outtakes and alternate endings. I could even have a few of our stars come out and mud wrestle during the 7th inning stretch. I think it could pull in a lot more of an audience for your little league.
From Joe ********* to Me:
No! Thats even worse! Look Mike I appreciate you trying to help our team out but this is absolutely the wrong place to be advertising your porn. If you would still like to contribute you can but we cannot have your company name associated with our team.
From Me to Joe *********:
If this is how you treat every sponsor that wants to help your team out, you will never get any money. Sooner or later you are going to have to we yourself out to someone, which is a valuable lesson learned in my Big Sluts: Big Loads DVD. I could give that one out to the parents instead, due to the educational value.
From Joe ********* to Me:
You just dont quit do you? Aint happening so go to hell!
..........................
Posted at: 2009-11-25 02:31:59 | 154 comments | Add Comment
Original ad:
We are a little league team looking for a sponsor for the upcoming season. Email if you are interested in helping out. Thanks!
From Me to ********@***********.org
Good afternoon,
I came across your ad looking for a sponsor for your little league team. I am interested if you still need one. Let me know, and we can discuss the details.
Thanks,
Mike
From Joe ********* to Me:
Hey Mike,
My name is Joe. I have been the coach of this team and greatly appreciate the offer. We still do need a sponsor and I would like to hear what you have to offer. The league will not start up again until mid-April so we will have some time. Let me know what you were thinking for sponsorship, you can email or call me anytime at (***)***-****
Thanks,
Joe
From Me to Joe *********:
Joe,
I am glad to hear you are still interested. I would like to have my company name on your team's uniform and fence sign. How much would it cost to do this?
Mike
From Joe ********* to Me:
Hi Mike,
The cost to fully sponsor our team would be $800. It would cover ordering the jerseys and equipment. At the end of the season you will be recognized at our ceremony and will receive a framed photo of the team and your own uniform. What is your company's name and do you have a website?
Thanks,
Joe
From Me to Joe *********:
That sounds reasonable Joe. I am the founder of an adult film company called BarelyLegalSuperSluts. We specialize in 18+ amateur pornography and I would like to get our name out there. We plan on lanuching our site around April, so I think the timing would be perfect with your league. I can forward you our logo and we will discuss designs for the uniforms.
Mike
From Joe ********* to Me:
Mike,
Do you realize this sponsorship is for a little league team?
Joe
From Me to Joe *********:
Yes, you told me that. I think it is great that I'll be able to help kids enjoy America's greatest pastime.
From Joe ********* to Me:
and you honestly expect a bunch of kids to be sporting a jersey that says Barely Legal Super Sluts?
From Me to Joe *********:
Is it too long to fit on the jersey? We could just call them the Super Sluts for short as long as the sign on the field included the link to our website.
From Joe ********* to Me:
No that isn't the problem. This team is for kids and we can't have them wearing shirts that say Super Sluts on them. It is highly offensive and the league most likely wouldn't even allow it.
From Me to Joe *********:
How about we call them the Barely Legal Little Leaguers? I would include a free copy of our Super Sluts Slurping Loads DVD for every parent that attends the game. The DVD features over 3 hours of sluts with hilarious outtakes and alternate endings. I could even have a few of our stars come out and mud wrestle during the 7th inning stretch. I think it could pull in a lot more of an audience for your little league.
From Joe ********* to Me:
No! Thats even worse! Look Mike I appreciate you trying to help our team out but this is absolutely the wrong place to be advertising your porn. If you would still like to contribute you can but we cannot have your company name associated with our team.
From Me to Joe *********:
If this is how you treat every sponsor that wants to help your team out, you will never get any money. Sooner or later you are going to have to w
e yourself out to someone, which is a valuable lesson learned in my Big Sluts: Big Loads DVD. I could give that one out to the parents instead, due to the educational value.From Joe ********* to Me:
You just dont quit do you? Aint happening so go to hell!
What a brilliant site...Original ad:
litter of 6 kittens up for adoption! they are all 3 weeks old and are looking for a good home. contact if interested.
From Mike Hunt to *********@***********.org
Hi,
I am interested in taking all six kittens off of your hands. How much do you want for them?
Mike
From Shannon ******* to Me
Mike,
Are you going to take care of all of these kittens? I want to make sure they all find a good home, and was expecting to sell them one at a time. Are you able to house all six of them?
From Mike Hunt to Shannon *******
Shannon,
To be honest, I own a pet Bengal Tiger and he is on a strict diet of cats. I usually feed him one cat every couple of days, so this litter should hold him over for a while. Don't worry though, I'll take good care of the kittens until I feed them to him.
Mike
From Shannon ******* to Me
That is horrible! You will not get a single kitten from me. I really hope you are not serious.
From Mike Hunt to Shannon *******
Shannon,
I was kidding. I seriously need all six kittens though. Disregard anything I said about a tiger.
From Shannon ******* to Me
NO.
Awesome website said:
Original ad:
i am 17 years old and looking to buy my first car! if you have a good, cheap and reliable car for a student please let me know. thank you!
From Mike Anderson to ***********@*******.org
Hey there!
I saw your ad and have a great car for a young driver such as yourself. I am selling my beautiful 1992 Toyota Camry. This car is almost perfect. 148,342 miles on it. I need to go to Wawa tomorrow, so that mileage might change. I'm estimating it will be somewhere around 148,347 miles. If this is a problem, let me know and I will ride my bike to Wawa.
The car has a few MINOR problems but nothing too bad:
- The ashtray is stuck shut from when I accidentally spilled a beer on it. I think there is like $2 in change in there, so if you can open the ashtray, it's all yours.
- Due to a bad trip in Philly, I no longer have a radio. I run an old boom box through the cigarette lighter, however, and it sounds great. It is a 1986 Sony Cassette player. I'll throw in a Raffi cassette tape for an extra $10. The tape is Raffi in Concert with the Rise & Shine Band, and is an excellent album.
- The glovebox is locked and I lost the key to it, so it won't open. Unfortunately there was a tuna sandwich locked in there, and you can smell it in the car. It isn't that bad if you light some incense. I dropped a few sticks of incense between the seats, you can have them if you find em.
- The hood latch is broken and the hood will occasionally fly up and hit the windshield while driving. The windshield is currently cracked from the last time this happened, but the crack isn't that bad. In fact, it helps air out the stench of the tuna.
- Needs new front and rear brakes. The ones on there don't really stop, but if you give the emergency brake a good tug it should take care of everything.
- There is a hornets nest somewhere under the hood. I have no idea where. Occasionally a hornet will blow in through the air conditioning vent, but I will include a fly swatter above the visor.
- There is some blood on the passenger seat and all over the side of the door. If you are ever pulled over and the police ask about it, just tell them the previous owner hit a deer. Don't say who I am though.
- I bought the car from someone who replaced the original horn with a freight train horn. It is really loud and I don't recommend using it, I have caused several accidents with it.
Besides these problems, this is a great starter car for any young driver! I actually call it the "ladies mobile" because the chicks dig it.
I am asking $6000 for it, but am willing to negotiate.
Thanks,
Mike
From joey ******* to Me
hey thanks for the offer! $6000 sounds like a little much for that car. my dad only gave me a $4000 budget, would you be willing to take that?
From Mike Anderson to joey ********
Son, you obviously have no experience in buying vehicles. When I said I was willing to negotiate, I meant I was willing to take more money for the car if you wanted to give it to me. Minimum is $6,000. Talk to your dad, and he will tell you that this car is a once-in-a-lifetime deal. He'll be pissed if he saw that you passed this up.
Mike
From joey ******* to Me
What the hell is wrong with you? That car is a piece of st! Stop e-mailing my son, you moron.
i am 17 years old and looking to buy my first car! if you have a good, cheap and reliable car for a student please let me know. thank you!
From Mike Anderson to ***********@*******.org
Hey there!
I saw your ad and have a great car for a young driver such as yourself. I am selling my beautiful 1992 Toyota Camry. This car is almost perfect. 148,342 miles on it. I need to go to Wawa tomorrow, so that mileage might change. I'm estimating it will be somewhere around 148,347 miles. If this is a problem, let me know and I will ride my bike to Wawa.
The car has a few MINOR problems but nothing too bad:
- The ashtray is stuck shut from when I accidentally spilled a beer on it. I think there is like $2 in change in there, so if you can open the ashtray, it's all yours.
- Due to a bad trip in Philly, I no longer have a radio. I run an old boom box through the cigarette lighter, however, and it sounds great. It is a 1986 Sony Cassette player. I'll throw in a Raffi cassette tape for an extra $10. The tape is Raffi in Concert with the Rise & Shine Band, and is an excellent album.
- The glovebox is locked and I lost the key to it, so it won't open. Unfortunately there was a tuna sandwich locked in there, and you can smell it in the car. It isn't that bad if you light some incense. I dropped a few sticks of incense between the seats, you can have them if you find em.
- The hood latch is broken and the hood will occasionally fly up and hit the windshield while driving. The windshield is currently cracked from the last time this happened, but the crack isn't that bad. In fact, it helps air out the stench of the tuna.
- Needs new front and rear brakes. The ones on there don't really stop, but if you give the emergency brake a good tug it should take care of everything.
- There is a hornets nest somewhere under the hood. I have no idea where. Occasionally a hornet will blow in through the air conditioning vent, but I will include a fly swatter above the visor.
- There is some blood on the passenger seat and all over the side of the door. If you are ever pulled over and the police ask about it, just tell them the previous owner hit a deer. Don't say who I am though.
- I bought the car from someone who replaced the original horn with a freight train horn. It is really loud and I don't recommend using it, I have caused several accidents with it.
Besides these problems, this is a great starter car for any young driver! I actually call it the "ladies mobile" because the chicks dig it.
I am asking $6000 for it, but am willing to negotiate.
Thanks,
Mike
From joey ******* to Me
hey thanks for the offer! $6000 sounds like a little much for that car. my dad only gave me a $4000 budget, would you be willing to take that?
From Mike Anderson to joey ********
Son, you obviously have no experience in buying vehicles. When I said I was willing to negotiate, I meant I was willing to take more money for the car if you wanted to give it to me. Minimum is $6,000. Talk to your dad, and he will tell you that this car is a once-in-a-lifetime deal. He'll be pissed if he saw that you passed this up.
Mike
From joey ******* to Me
What the hell is wrong with you? That car is a piece of s
t! Stop e-mailing my son, you moron. Vegan Housemate
Posted at: 2009-12-16 13:51:38 | 216 comments | Add Comment
Original ad:
Hey there! My roommate and I are looking for another housemate. We live in a large apartment in Upper Darby. There are two bedrooms and a spacious living area. The rent is $250 a month, which includes cable, internet, electric, and water.
My roommate and I are both vegans and will only live with another vegan. IF YOU AREN'T A VEGAN, YOU NEED NOT APPLY. We are looking for someone who will help with the cooking, in addition to the rent.
If you are a vegan and want to live with two vegans who respect your personal space, please e-mail us. Include some information about yourself, including your source of income.
From Me to ***********@***********.org:
Hey,
I saw your ad, and I can't tell you how happy I was to see that there are fellow vegans looking for a roommate. It is so hard to find someone to live with who respects my way of life. Are you guys still looking for someone to live with?
Mike
From Joanna ******** to Me:
Yes, we still are seeking a third housemate. Can you tell us about yourself?
From Me to Joanna ********:
Well, I am a 24 year old male, and I am currently make a living by being employed. It pays well. Now, as I said earlier, I am a hardcore vegan. I totally respect your lifestyle, but I will occasionally eat a veal burger, maybe two or three times a week. I hope that isn't a big deal. If it is, I can eat it outside, but I will still need to cook it in the kitchen. But besides that, I am easy to get along with. I love watching TV. I hope you guys like CSPAN and late night HBO as much as I do. I also love music, and think I will be a great addition to your apartment.
Mike
From Joanna ******** to Me:
You're not a vegan if you eat veal. Seriously, veal? That is perhaps the single worst thing a vegan can eat. Calves that are raised to become veal are ripped from their mothers at birth so they get anemia. Then they are starved of milk, food, and exercise. They often are put in crates so they cannot move at all; they just stand and suffer until their ultimate death. Veal goes against everything veganism stands for. How you even consider calling yourself a vegan astounds me.
From Me to Joanna ********:
Well thanks for the veal history lesson. My ex used to bh to me about veal all the time, so I know all about it. Frankly, I think that is why I enjoy veal. Knowing that the calf suffered so much to make himself that much more tender and delicious for me makes it worth every bite. If I didn't eat veal, it would probably expire and be thrown away. Then, the calf would have died in vein. You wouldn't want that, would you. Seriously, veal isn't that bad. They give the calf a nice safe home to live in. Would you rather they just let the calf just be let loose out in the wild? Then, it would probably be killed by a lion or something. By supporting veal, you are supporting the safe life of cows everywhere.
Seeing as how you got all uppity about the veal, I guess I should tell you that I own two shotguns and an assault rifle for hunting and will need to store them in the apartment. I didn't think it would be a big deal, but I may as well tell you everything. Don't worry though, both the shotguns are registered and the assault rifle has the serial numbers filed off of it so it doesn't have to be registered.
From Joanna ******** to Me:
Don't worry, you don't need to tell me anything else because you aren't going to live with us. I highly doubt there is anything about your life that even makes you close to being a vegan. You're argument sounds like something a twelve-year-old would say. You're clearly just claiming to be vegan to live in a cheap apartment. If you really think you are vegan, think again. Vegans don't hunt, idiot.
From Me to Joanna ********:
C'mon, it isn't like I'm eating the animals after I kill them. I just kill them because I hate deer. I can't tell you how many times I've stepped in deer st - they st everywhere. They are worse than old people. One time my little brother ate some deer st because he thought it was beans. We had to take him to the hospital to get him tested for Lyme disease. I'm just killing deer to make Pennsylvania a better, safer place for children. I'm not eating them, so relax. I still don't eat chicken or burgers or any of that st. You are really picky about the vegans that you want to live with. So when is the lease for your place up? I'm looking for a place to live for about five or six months, and the sooner I can move in, the better.
From Joanna ******** to Me:
YOU'RE NOT A VEGAN!
From Joanna ******** to Me:
Not eating certain kinds of meat doesn't make you a vegan. Veganism is a lifestyle which prohibits using any kind of animal product, be it food, clothes, or anything else. Hunting is absolutely unacceptable and your reasons for hunting are ridiculous. You won't be living at my apartment so give it up.
From Me to Joanna ********:
Wow, I never thought I would find someone as pretentious as Bono, but you take the cake. Next time I bite into a savory beef brisket, I'll think of you.
Posted at: 2009-12-16 13:51:38 | 216 comments | Add Comment
Original ad:
Hey there! My roommate and I are looking for another housemate. We live in a large apartment in Upper Darby. There are two bedrooms and a spacious living area. The rent is $250 a month, which includes cable, internet, electric, and water.
My roommate and I are both vegans and will only live with another vegan. IF YOU AREN'T A VEGAN, YOU NEED NOT APPLY. We are looking for someone who will help with the cooking, in addition to the rent.
If you are a vegan and want to live with two vegans who respect your personal space, please e-mail us. Include some information about yourself, including your source of income.
From Me to ***********@***********.org:
Hey,
I saw your ad, and I can't tell you how happy I was to see that there are fellow vegans looking for a roommate. It is so hard to find someone to live with who respects my way of life. Are you guys still looking for someone to live with?
Mike
From Joanna ******** to Me:
Yes, we still are seeking a third housemate. Can you tell us about yourself?
From Me to Joanna ********:
Well, I am a 24 year old male, and I am currently make a living by being employed. It pays well. Now, as I said earlier, I am a hardcore vegan. I totally respect your lifestyle, but I will occasionally eat a veal burger, maybe two or three times a week. I hope that isn't a big deal. If it is, I can eat it outside, but I will still need to cook it in the kitchen. But besides that, I am easy to get along with. I love watching TV. I hope you guys like CSPAN and late night HBO as much as I do. I also love music, and think I will be a great addition to your apartment.
Mike
From Joanna ******** to Me:
You're not a vegan if you eat veal. Seriously, veal? That is perhaps the single worst thing a vegan can eat. Calves that are raised to become veal are ripped from their mothers at birth so they get anemia. Then they are starved of milk, food, and exercise. They often are put in crates so they cannot move at all; they just stand and suffer until their ultimate death. Veal goes against everything veganism stands for. How you even consider calling yourself a vegan astounds me.
From Me to Joanna ********:
Well thanks for the veal history lesson. My ex used to b
h to me about veal all the time, so I know all about it. Frankly, I think that is why I enjoy veal. Knowing that the calf suffered so much to make himself that much more tender and delicious for me makes it worth every bite. If I didn't eat veal, it would probably expire and be thrown away. Then, the calf would have died in vein. You wouldn't want that, would you. Seriously, veal isn't that bad. They give the calf a nice safe home to live in. Would you rather they just let the calf just be let loose out in the wild? Then, it would probably be killed by a lion or something. By supporting veal, you are supporting the safe life of cows everywhere.Seeing as how you got all uppity about the veal, I guess I should tell you that I own two shotguns and an assault rifle for hunting and will need to store them in the apartment. I didn't think it would be a big deal, but I may as well tell you everything. Don't worry though, both the shotguns are registered and the assault rifle has the serial numbers filed off of it so it doesn't have to be registered.
From Joanna ******** to Me:
Don't worry, you don't need to tell me anything else because you aren't going to live with us. I highly doubt there is anything about your life that even makes you close to being a vegan. You're argument sounds like something a twelve-year-old would say. You're clearly just claiming to be vegan to live in a cheap apartment. If you really think you are vegan, think again. Vegans don't hunt, idiot.
From Me to Joanna ********:
C'mon, it isn't like I'm eating the animals after I kill them. I just kill them because I hate deer. I can't tell you how many times I've stepped in deer s
t - they st everywhere. They are worse than old people. One time my little brother ate some deer st because he thought it was beans. We had to take him to the hospital to get him tested for Lyme disease. I'm just killing deer to make Pennsylvania a better, safer place for children. I'm not eating them, so relax. I still don't eat chicken or burgers or any of that st. You are really picky about the vegans that you want to live with. So when is the lease for your place up? I'm looking for a place to live for about five or six months, and the sooner I can move in, the better.From Joanna ******** to Me:
YOU'RE NOT A VEGAN!
From Joanna ******** to Me:
Not eating certain kinds of meat doesn't make you a vegan. Veganism is a lifestyle which prohibits using any kind of animal product, be it food, clothes, or anything else. Hunting is absolutely unacceptable and your reasons for hunting are ridiculous. You won't be living at my apartment so give it up.
From Me to Joanna ********:
Wow, I never thought I would find someone as pretentious as Bono, but you take the cake. Next time I bite into a savory beef brisket, I'll think of you.
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