The 'watch rather than help' mentality
Discussion
Went sledging today with some friends, and we were sitting halfway up and to the side of a 400m slope with loads of people sledging down it. At the bottom of the hill there's a wooden fence with barbed wire, and an iron gate.
Suddenly a mate shouts "Oh look at that kid" and basically a young boy (roughly 6) was hurtling down the hill at some speed with his father running after him trying desperately to catch him up, and shouting 'jump off'. It was pretty obvious what was going to happen and we all stood in terror hoping he'd magically pass through the gap in the fence. Alas no, the sledge hit the gate, the boy was flung against the railings like a rag doll, then dropped to the floor.
I ran as fast as I dared down the hill towards them, and when I got there someone else was already asking the boy the right questions and then set about checking his limbs - luckily she was a hospital nurse. I only have basic first aid training so was happy to leave everything to her, but as I stood there for a few minutes I noticed that not one other person came along to help. There were loads of people present, most of whom had surely seen/heard the commotion, yet chose to do nothing. The nurse decided he was 'ok' but would have some serious bruising tomorrow, the Dad thanked me for offering to help and off everyone went.
Half an hour later, two teenage guys came off a sledge, and one of them stayed on the floor - obviously something was wrong. A couple of his mates gathered round, hands in pockets and not really speaking. So I went over, asked what hurt and he replied "my wrist". Having broken both of mine over the years I could relate to it, and slid his sleeve up for a closer look. No obvious bumps or swelling, but I think he might have done his scafoid (sp?) and suggested he got it x-rayed just to be on the safe side. He's still lying down at this stage, so I said to the group of approx 10 mates of his, "Don't just stand there, help him up then!" They laughed a bit, but no-one stepped forward! b
ds! I picked him up myself, and walked away without a thank you. No-one else stepped forward to see if the guy was ok, and this was halfway down the main slope everyone was using so it was pretty obvious to everyone that something wasn't right.
So I sat back down with my mates feeling a mixture of disappointment at those around me (my mates included) and a strange sense of satisfaction that I did something (however small). I hope if I have an accident someone will come and help me - maybe not!
Suddenly a mate shouts "Oh look at that kid" and basically a young boy (roughly 6) was hurtling down the hill at some speed with his father running after him trying desperately to catch him up, and shouting 'jump off'. It was pretty obvious what was going to happen and we all stood in terror hoping he'd magically pass through the gap in the fence. Alas no, the sledge hit the gate, the boy was flung against the railings like a rag doll, then dropped to the floor.
I ran as fast as I dared down the hill towards them, and when I got there someone else was already asking the boy the right questions and then set about checking his limbs - luckily she was a hospital nurse. I only have basic first aid training so was happy to leave everything to her, but as I stood there for a few minutes I noticed that not one other person came along to help. There were loads of people present, most of whom had surely seen/heard the commotion, yet chose to do nothing. The nurse decided he was 'ok' but would have some serious bruising tomorrow, the Dad thanked me for offering to help and off everyone went.
Half an hour later, two teenage guys came off a sledge, and one of them stayed on the floor - obviously something was wrong. A couple of his mates gathered round, hands in pockets and not really speaking. So I went over, asked what hurt and he replied "my wrist". Having broken both of mine over the years I could relate to it, and slid his sleeve up for a closer look. No obvious bumps or swelling, but I think he might have done his scafoid (sp?) and suggested he got it x-rayed just to be on the safe side. He's still lying down at this stage, so I said to the group of approx 10 mates of his, "Don't just stand there, help him up then!" They laughed a bit, but no-one stepped forward! b
ds! I picked him up myself, and walked away without a thank you. No-one else stepped forward to see if the guy was ok, and this was halfway down the main slope everyone was using so it was pretty obvious to everyone that something wasn't right.So I sat back down with my mates feeling a mixture of disappointment at those around me (my mates included) and a strange sense of satisfaction that I did something (however small). I hope if I have an accident someone will come and help me - maybe not!
bramley said:
Went sledging today with some friends, and we were sitting halfway up and to the side of a 400m slope with loads of people sledging down it. At the bottom of the hill there's a wooden fence with barbed wire, and an iron gate.
Sounds really sensible. 
When i was a kid we used to sledge down the local park, many people would often dive on a big plastic sheet and slide down. Only problem is it went straight onto a road.
What was the dad doing letting his kid sledge there when there was a danger of that happening? Bloody hell, I bet he needed a stiff drink when he got home with his kid still alive, but only cos of good luck. I'm sure I read a story of some girls hitting a gate or fence on a sledge last year and dying.
I saw a man come off a motorbike into a drainage ditch once. He had a compound fracture of his foot, the bone had stuck into the dirt so was covered in crap and there was blood everywhere. I've never seen so much blood, it was absolutely pumping out. I am no expert, but I think he was in shock and had regressed to the state of a kid, despite being a mid 30s or so bloke. Would follow instructions, but didn't seem to be able to think for himself. I helped him out of the ditch, retrieved his personal belongings and got him off to the hospital. There were lots of other people just standing around laughing at him though. Lucky for him I saw him I guess as when you're bleeding heavily with broken bones, you don't really need a load of guffawing idiots watching you struggling in a ditch while pinned underneath your bike.
I saw a man come off a motorbike into a drainage ditch once. He had a compound fracture of his foot, the bone had stuck into the dirt so was covered in crap and there was blood everywhere. I've never seen so much blood, it was absolutely pumping out. I am no expert, but I think he was in shock and had regressed to the state of a kid, despite being a mid 30s or so bloke. Would follow instructions, but didn't seem to be able to think for himself. I helped him out of the ditch, retrieved his personal belongings and got him off to the hospital. There were lots of other people just standing around laughing at him though. Lucky for him I saw him I guess as when you're bleeding heavily with broken bones, you don't really need a load of guffawing idiots watching you struggling in a ditch while pinned underneath your bike.
The Riddler said:
bramley said:
Went sledging today with some friends, and we were sitting halfway up and to the side of a 400m slope with loads of people sledging down it. At the bottom of the hill there's a wooden fence with barbed wire, and an iron gate.
Sounds really sensible. Actually it did surprise me how popular the place was given what was at the bottom, and it's not like it levelled out particularly before the barrier of doom. Mind you, this is the county that brings you cheese rolling so it's maybe not that surprising
I've experienced this mentality myself after being knocked off my bike by a car that didn't stop. As I was laying in the road I was amazed at how many other cars managed to pick their way carefully around me!
Not sure where the mentality comes from, general stupidity and some embarrassment maybe?
Not sure where the mentality comes from, general stupidity and some embarrassment maybe?
OnTheOverrun said:
No-one helped the kid because they were scared of being called a paedo by his dad and no-one helped the group of teenage lads because they were a group of teenage lads.
HTH
The nurse that helped (i thought it was the kid's mum initially) had to take the boy's trousers off to check his limbs, and part of me is glad I didn't have to do that. It's the right thing to do of course, but I still wouldn't have felt entirely comfortable doing it, I probably would have concluded that he's alive, he's breathing, is talking and therefore do a basic check on his limbs without removing clothing. HTH
Piglet - I think that's how I would have felt in the past tbh. My decision to go and help was because I saw it happen, have basic knowledge and have kids myself (it was quite nasty watching it all unfold, particularly the Dad chasing after him but unable to prevent the inevitable). In the boy's case, he could have needed carrying half a mile to the main road over the fields, or need blankets/coats to keep warm, or someone simply to call 999. Better to have a few people on standby for those things IMO.
I didn't see the start of the incident, I suspect the sledge simply took off way faster than his Dad expected. I wouldn't have let my kids go solo in that field.
I've seen a fairly busy road full of people on a night out watch a group of a about 4 lads laying into one other and about to start on his girlfriend. By the time I realised I got over just in time to stop her getting hit and the small group ran off. Nobody else even moved and even a few people I was out with walked away saying they weren't getting involved. After the lad put his shirt back on he tried to hit me and at that point I wondered why I bothered. Fortunately his girlfriend was thankful and the police quickly arrived.
Even with his girlfriend trying to tell him what happened and that I had only helped her and stopped them hitting him any further he still told the police I was responsible. Fortunately it was all on a number off CCTV cameras and the police thanked me for coming to her aid and told me I could get off home. It's easy to see why people sometimes don't bother though.
Even with his girlfriend trying to tell him what happened and that I had only helped her and stopped them hitting him any further he still told the police I was responsible. Fortunately it was all on a number off CCTV cameras and the police thanked me for coming to her aid and told me I could get off home. It's easy to see why people sometimes don't bother though.
Piglet said:
TBH if I didn't have any specific skills ie not a Doctor or a nurse and there were already people with the kid then I wouldn't get involved either. I can't really add much to the party...
- tend to agree: my Dad taught me - if you can do something useful, help - if you can't, stay the heck out of the way & let them that can, through.Glocko said:
that makes perfect sense; I live next to a rather steep busy hill with a t junction (castle hill in n'which if you know it). When the worst hit last Tuesday the traffic was a nightmare. Some peoples cars just wouldn't move. There was a lady in a C Class Merc outside the house blocking the junction to my estate and other cars were struggling to go round her. Went outside to see if she needed help, She couldn't move from her spot so I told her to turn left into my estate to at least make it easier for other cars. I told a woman in a Frontra to just wait to give the Merc some move to drop back and turn in. The pavement was full of people watching the chaos that was unfolding at this intersection the cars behind or on the other side too weren't going anywhere but didn't help either. Unbelievable mentality 
Edited by muffinmenace on Saturday 9th January 22:03
What a bloody idiot. Although he was probably drunk, angry and confused, but still, if his girl had said that you had just come over to help you'd have thought he'd have thanked you after he straightened up a bit. Although I guess in his mind, all he knew was getting whacked and also seeing your face on the scene, so he probably associated the 2 things together. Easy enough to do while pizzled off your face.
I hope he apologised deeply to you afterwards.
I hope he apologised deeply to you afterwards.
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