Asking for money as a Wedding gift?

[parapaul]

I'm pretty sure this has been covered before, but I can't make the search function drag anything up.

We've decided we don't want presents, we'd rather have money or vouchers towards a new kitchen. What I'd like, if possible, is a general overview of how many people think that the 'begging for money' poems inside the invites are a good or bad idea?

Would it just be better to say nothing and let people ask what we want?

[JamieBeeston]

parapaul said:

I'm pretty sure this has been covered before, but I can't make the search function drag anything up.

We've decided we don't want presents, we'd rather have money or vouchers towards a new kitchen. What I'd like, if possible, is a general overview of how many people think that the 'begging for money' poems inside the invites are a good or bad idea?

Would it just be better to say nothing and let people ask what we want?

I'd much prefer to give cash than have to think of something to buy.. that said, registering for a gift list does help some 'pick a gift to their budget' as an unspecified cash request can potentially lead to embarrassment.

[Lost soul]

A Sensible request in my eyes , and yes i would rather give 100 quid or what ever towards a kitchen than buy the couple the third toaster of the day

[DocJock]

Have a 'wishing well' at the reception where guests can anonymously put in whatever they are comfortable with.

[Chilli]

DocJock said:

Have a BOUNCER at the reception where guests are forced to put 100 notes in each.

EFA!

[Herbie58]

If it's a new kitchen you want I'm pretty sure that B&Q, Wickes, Moben etc allow you to set up an account for weddings that guests can pay a gift amount into or you can request vouchers from the retailer of your choice.

If you don't do something like this, half your guests will happily give you money the other half will buy you toasters.

[HereBeMonsters]

Probably easier to ask for vouchers than actual cash. I have no idea why, but it's true.

[phumy]

Chilli said:

DocJock said:

Have a BOUNCER at the reception where guests are forced to put 100 notes in each.

EFA!

Haha, you jest, however this is how it works in Vietnam, you are given an envelope with the invitation and youre expected to put dosh into the envelope when signing in at the reception, no envelope and youre dead..... The bride and groom at least expect to recoup the money for the wedding and reception with, hopefully, a little left over to start them off. It also goes without saying that if you have blue eyes you are very expected to push your hand very deep into your pockets, infact more deeper than everyone else.

[sneijder]

Don't write on of those 'poems' though. Asking for money is OK nowadays methinks

[sday12]

sneijder said:

Don't write on of those 'poems' though. Asking for money is OK nowadays methinks

pikey, however B&Q vouchers as an option should be ok. IMHO.

[V8mate]

sday12 said:

sneijder said:

Don't write on of those 'poems' though. Asking for money is OK nowadays methinks

pikey, however B&Q vouchers as an option should be ok. IMHO.

We 'expressed a preference' for vouchers for two named stores.
You don't have to do the suggesting though; it's up to the parents to do the communicating regarding presents to the guests.

[sday12]

V8mate said:

We 'expressed a preference' for vouchers for two named stores.

^^^^^this

Some people would not like the option of cash only, like buying a ticket to a wedding.

Most people will think the idea of getting something valuable (i.e. kitchen) would be a good idea and get vouchers (mainly close family and friends)

Some people will always want to get you an 'individual' gift, i.e what they like, often the worst presents, even when you have set up a list with things you like, it's ok, you can sell them on ebay afterwards.

HTH.

[HereBeMonsters]

V8mate said:

sday12 said:

sneijder said:

Don't write on of those 'poems' though. Asking for money is OK nowadays methinks

pikey, however B&Q vouchers as an option should be ok. IMHO.

We 'expressed a preference' for vouchers for two named stores.
You don't have to do the suggesting though; it's up to the parents to do the communicating regarding presents to the guests.

We've recently had an invite to a Wedding (on Easter Sunday of all days?) which came from the bride's parents, and we have to reply to them as well. Slightly old fashioned?

[phumy]

HereBeMonsters said:

V8mate said:

sday12 said:

sneijder said:

Don't write on of those 'poems' though. Asking for money is OK nowadays methinks

pikey, however B&Q vouchers as an option should be ok. IMHO.

We 'expressed a preference' for vouchers for two named stores.
You don't have to do the suggesting though; it's up to the parents to do the communicating regarding presents to the guests.

We've recently had an invite to a Wedding (on Easter Sunday of all days?) which came from the bride's parents, and we have to reply to them as well. Slightly old fashioned?

Its called "traditional"

[HereBeMonsters]

phumy said:

HereBeMonsters said:

V8mate said:

sday12 said:

sneijder said:

Don't write on of those 'poems' though. Asking for money is OK nowadays methinks

pikey, however B&Q vouchers as an option should be ok. IMHO.

We 'expressed a preference' for vouchers for two named stores.
You don't have to do the suggesting though; it's up to the parents to do the communicating regarding presents to the guests.

We've recently had an invite to a Wedding (on Easter Sunday of all days?) which came from the bride's parents, and we have to reply to them as well. Slightly old fashioned?

Its called "traditional"

I have to say I was quite surprised. Proper church wedding as well (despite bride and groom never having been to church).
I just can't imagine my in-laws being arsed to do anything for our wedding. We did everything ourselves (including paying for it) and wouldn't have had it any other way. Same with 3 other friends who have all got married in the last few years.

[Jasandjules]

HereBeMonsters said:

We've recently had an invite to a Wedding (on Easter Sunday of all days?) which came from the bride's parents, and we have to reply to them as well. Slightly old fashioned?

Yes, and all the better for it.

Same as the last wedding we attended....

As for asking for money, I think these days people understand...

[Mini1275]

Chilli said:

DocJock said:

Have a BOUNCER at the reception where guests are forced to put 1000 notes in each.

EFA!

EFA!

[Four Cofffee]

I would rather be given the choice. But if you make the 'gift' thing hard enough (e.g. make them use a wedding list service where you pay through the nose) giving cash is the easiest and most cost effective thing.

I have just had an invitation where they are not opening the wedding list until about 8 weeks beforehand but have said that as an alternative they are very happy to accept a cash donation towards the honeymoon at any time. The later is much easier and probably better VFM all round IMHO.

Having said that, insisting only on cash feels a bit mercinary, especially towards the older generation who may expect to give a gift.

Edited by Four Cofffee on Tuesday 12th January 09:33

[JRM Rossi]

When we got married in november 2009 when we sent out invites i wrote a letter to say no presents just a donation to st johns hospital neonatel ward in chelmsford we raised £835
I also put in the letter there is only so many toasters you can sell on "flebay"
mind you we have been together for 17years
At least you get some thing usefull

[bigandclever]

parapaul said:

we'd rather have money or vouchers towards a new kitchen

I'm sure you would. Use the money you're spending on the wedding.

(c) Cantankerous Sod Financial Services.