Inappropriate things to say to your OH

[Office_Monkey]

If your GF says that her arse is bouncy, apparently slapping it and agreeing is not the thing to do.
Was in the doghouse slightly yesterday

Someone out there must have committed a more severe transgression than I, surely?

Feel free to share your stories (and outcomes)

[soad]

Office_Monkey said:

If your GF says that her arse is bouncy, apparently slapping it and agreeing is not the thing to do.

Sorry, butt...doing the above is asking for trouble.

[Johnny]

Does calling someone 'fko' count as offensive?

[mat13]

apparently romantic baths together are ruined by farting....

[OnTheOverrun]

My GF is convinced I fancy her younger sister and keeps going on about it. I finally told her I actually fancied her mum more but would be quite happy to try all three at once and then issue a final opinion. She didn't seem impressed.

[Cara Van Man]

I may have mentioned during 'rag week' that I'd settle for the rear entrance if the front door was out of bounds.

I got neither.

[Kit80]

When I was pregnant I complained my legs where like the size of tree trunks, he looked and replied "not long enough, more like tree stumps"

I would have slapped him had I not been laughing so much.

[TheForceV4]

OnTheOverrun said:

My GF is convinced I fancy her younger sister and keeps going on about it. I finally told her I actually fancied her mum more but would be quite happy to try all three at once and then issue a final opinion. She didn't seem impressed.

Gold!!!

[isee]

Calling her hopeleselly useless when she could not figure out how to open the boot in the car (my hands were taken up with the shopping).

Saying "she's the fat one here" in a slightly flirting manner to the waitress who has brought a third starter to the table for two and could not remember which one of us ordered it. (in my defence i am fat and OH is very fit)

[911motorsport]

On committing the fatal error of mentioning her monthly cycle as the reason for her being cranky, do NOT claim her water retention as being the obvious indication

[stones_throw]

Two months later and i am STILL paying for calling her my ex-girlfriends name.

[Slikk]

Upon being asked "Will you always talk to me during sex"? the reply "Depends if I can reach my phone" was aparently the wrong thing to say

[Steve_W]

mat13 said:

apparently romantic baths together are ruined by farting....

[TheForceV4]

Slikk said:

Upon being asked "Will you always talk to me during sex"? the reply "Depends if I can reach my phone" was aparently the wrong thing to say

But what are you meant to discuss exactly? Current affairs?

[james_tigerwoods]

"It makes your hips look big" - to my ex when she tried on a dress. In a woman's clothes shop. At a busy period.

Posted before:

I said - You're not a 'thin' person

What I meant was - You're not like those skinny birds whose bones you can see

What she heard was - You're partial to pies

[aclivity]

Someone asked us if we were going to have more kids, we both said "no, I don't think so". We then got to discussing if I would have the snip, or if she would have something done. I said "I can't have the snip, we may split up and I may meet someone else and decide to have more children".




The person who had asked the question was the midwife. My wife was in labour with our twins at the time.





Actually, she took it very well in the joking spirit it was intended, however the midwife was not amused. I guess it has become an "amusing anecdote" that she tells people now.

[whitechief]

TheForceV4 said:

Slikk said:

Upon being asked "Will you always talk to me during sex"? the reply "Depends if I can reach my phone" was aparently the wrong thing to say

But what are you meant to discuss exactly? Current affairs?

The pedestrianisation of Norwich High street?

[Asterix]

Apparently during sex saying, 'Oooohhhhh, just like mummy does it', doesn't help spice things up.

Oh, and when asked why I don't use the cross trainer as much as she does saying, 'don't need to, I'm not as fat as you', doesn't allow you to be in a postion to say, 'Oooohhhh, just like mummy does it'.

Edited by Asterix on Wednesday 13th January 13:09

[TheCarpetCleaner]

whitechief said:

TheForceV4 said:

Slikk said:

Upon being asked "Will you always talk to me during sex"? the reply "Depends if I can reach my phone" was aparently the wrong thing to say

But what are you meant to discuss exactly? Current affairs?

The pedestrianisation of Norwich High street?

[bazking69]

Coming home steaming drunk, falling into bed, jumping on her and announcing 'come on, your go fatty'...!