What do I want for my birthday?

[SiH]

Afternoon all, it's my birthday in a couple of weeks and I have no idea what I'd like. My wife and rellies are accusing me of being rubbish and not giving them any ideas, frankly I would have thought they should put more effort into it!

So my question to you all is, what do I want for my birthday?

[soad]

Weekend Caterham hire?

[mitzy]

Any hobbies?

[Sixpackpert]

Butt plug?
Gag?
Bible?

[mitzy]

E.R Box Set

[Justayellowbadge]

For using the word 'rellies' what you want is a slap.

[blindswelledrat]

Justayellowbadge said:

For using the word 'rellies' what you want is a slap.

I was about to type exactly that.

[SiH]

Justayellowbadge said:

For using the word 'rellies' what you want is a slap.

Thought that would be the case, I felt slightly contemptuous of myself for using it, but frankly couldn't be arsed to delete it!

Thanks for the ideas, I'm seeing the general trend of cars and sex/porno coming through. "Pistonheads... Speeding along with a hooker with her ankles and wrists gaffer taped together in your boot while off your tits on coke Matters."

My wife's pretty liberal but I suspect that a butt plug and a gag might take her a little by surprise, and if she thinks she's going to stick it in my arse she's got another thing coming!

[Don]

Tell the relatives you want contibutions for a day at the Silverstone Rally School.

Tell the wife a bottle of Bollinger Grand Annee, lingerie from Victoria's Secret and some cooperation.

[littlegreenfairy]

If there is nothing you can think of, and nothing you want....what is the point of getting something?

[ErnestM]

Don said:

Tell the relatives you want contibutions for a day at the Silverstone Rally School.

Tell the wife a bottle of Bollinger Grand Annee, lingerie from Victoria's Secret and some cooperation.

Don,

Do you think they do lingerie in his size?

Good call on the Bollinger however

[Neil H]

littlegreenfairy said:

If there is nothing you can think of, and nothing you want....what is the point of getting something?

Agreed. You don't need anything, so why ask for anything?

I'll never understand these "tell me what I want for my birthday/ christmas" and "I want to spend some money, tell me what to buy" threads.

[13th]

Some people are so difficult to buy for! but luckily our friends have good imaginations! Mr 13th who is a nightmare to buy for was spoiled by our friends at his recent birthday. All the presents were fantastic, but the jigsaws and other pictures of us both framed and on t shirts were great, the sex bell!!! p.s. Mr 13th want's to take that back as it doesn't work ;-) the boobs caused great hilarity and were a supprising hit with the women!! great Lambo stuff of course the drink was a welcome addition to my winary. A scarf to match the car! not an easy one to source I'm sure. Oh and a great fixture for the lambo that is bound to cause great offence every where we go........... top that up with the fart machine and the Sat Nag and there are plenty of suggestions to keep your family happy!

But the one that made me laugh the most was our very own dear Veronica





ETA :- I forgot the helicopter!!!!!

Edited by 13th on Tuesday 9th February 13:53

[SiH]

Neil H said:

littlegreenfairy said:

If there is nothing you can think of, and nothing you want....what is the point of getting something?

Agreed. You don't need anything, so why ask for anything?

I'll never understand these "tell me what I want for my birthday/ christmas" and "I want to spend some money, tell me what to buy" threads.

It's not a case of getting something for the sake of getting it. I'm usually pretty frugal and would rather people didn't spend anything at all but they're pretty insistent and I have no imagination or knowledge of the sort of gadget or toy that's available at the moment. I'm merely looking for ideas and very often people will be aware of something that I might like, that's all.

[Hitch78]

My wife always complains that there's never anything to buy me because if there's something I fancy I've usually already bought it myself. We have an agreement now where she buys me experiences. So far it's included dinner in several fantastic restaurants, a days rally driving tuition, sailing lessons and weekends away. Sadly the night with Cheryl Cole and the Kelly Brook soapy tits massage still haven't happened....

As for relatives I tell them not to get me anything, but to come and visit or to meet us for sunday lunch or dinner or a few pints. Life is much better since I developed these rules as I really did not like people spending their hard-earned on st I'd never used for the sake of me having something to open at Christmas or on Birthdays.

I have also placed an outright ban on the giving of either cash or vouchers. I have witnessed my two BiL's exchnage cards with the same value of vouchers in for the same store and at that point my heart sank.

Finally, if all else fails ask them for bizarre bottles of booze and throw some fantastic cocktails down their throats at your next bbq or party.

[Hitch78]

13th said:

Some people are so difficult to buy for! but luckily our friends have good imaginations! Mr 13th who is a nightmare to buy for was spoiled by our friends at his recent birthday. All the presents were fantastic, but the jigsaws and other pictures of us both framed and on t shirts were great, the sex bell!!! p.s. Mr 13th want's to take that back as it doesn't work ;-) the boobs caused great hilarity and were a supprising hit with the women!! great Lambo stuff of course the drink was a welcome addition to my winary. A scarf to match the car! not an easy one to source I'm sure. Oh and a great fixture for the lambo that is bound to cause great offence every where we go........... top that up with the fart machine and the Sat Nag and there are plenty of suggestions to keep your family happy!

But the one that made me laugh the most was our very own dear Veronica






ETA :- I forgot the helicopter!!!!!

Edited by 13th on Tuesday 9th February 13:53

Someone's been on the Sherry early today...

[Hitch78]

13th said:

Some people are so difficult to buy for! but luckily our friends have good imaginations! Mr 13th who is a nightmare to buy for was spoiled by our friends at his recent birthday. All the presents were fantastic, but the jigsaws and other pictures of us both framed and on t shirts were great, the sex bell!!! p.s. Mr 13th want's to take that back as it doesn't work ;-) the boobs caused great hilarity and were a supprising hit with the women!! great Lambo stuff of course the drink was a welcome addition to my winary. A scarf to match the car! not an easy one to source I'm sure. Oh and a great fixture for the lambo that is bound to cause great offence every where we go........... top that up with the fart machine and the Sat Nag and there are plenty of suggestions to keep your family happy!

But the one that made me laugh the most was our very own dear Veronica






ETA :- I forgot the helicopter!!!!!

Edited by 13th on Tuesday 9th February 13:53

Someone's been on the Sherry early today...

[A911DOM]

Its mine in a few weeks too and the Mrs has already bought:

Halfords professional tool kit (the 'daddy' sized one)

and she's also ordered me a tailored race suit for use on track days - Nothing fancy, just a single layer proban jobbie - but to my specifications and colour and size.

Oh, and my sister was in Edinburgh recently and has bought me a bottle of duty free Whisky (as yet unknown brand)

All good!

[13th]

Hitch78 said:

13th said:

Some people are so difficult to buy for! but luckily our friends have good imaginations! Mr 13th who is a nightmare to buy for was spoiled by our friends at his recent birthday. All the presents were fantastic, but the jigsaws and other pictures of us both framed and on t shirts were great, the sex bell!!! p.s. Mr 13th want's to take that back as it doesn't work ;-) the boobs caused great hilarity and were a supprising hit with the women!! great Lambo stuff of course the drink was a welcome addition to my winary. A scarf to match the car! not an easy one to source I'm sure. Oh and a great fixture for the lambo that is bound to cause great offence every where we go........... top that up with the fart machine and the Sat Nag and there are plenty of suggestions to keep your family happy!

But the one that made me laugh the most was our very own dear Veronica






ETA :- I forgot the helicopter!!!!!

Edited by 13th on Tuesday 9th February 13:53

Someone's been on the Sherry early today...

No! that's marilyn on the left not Sherry!

[anonymous-user]

Mrs Slopes asked me what i wanted for my upcoming birthday, she ignored me when i said
BJ
Threesome
Drive a REALLY fast car
To be hand fed a kobe steak and trimmings by a naked rosamund pike and rebecca demornay

TBH i consider myself lucky that i can still function pretty normally after that