Father of the Bride (desig)

[Dibble]

My sister is getting married later this year, but our Dad died a good few years ago. My sister has asked me to be the "Father of the Bride", and of course I've agreed.

Now I think I know what I need to say in my speech - I basically welcome the groom into the family, thank everyone for tipping up - but is there anything else I should cover?

Thanks in advance.

[Piglet]

Ahhh that's nice of her to ask you. I not a great fan of the protocol of weddings, where you "have" to do or not do things, they ought to be what your sis wants it to be.

I'd go for the standard welcoming him to the family and saying what a fab sister she is. Personally, I'd also mention your Dad and how much he would have wanted to be there and how proud he would have been of her.

[TubbyTommy]

I got married in August last year and was welcomed into the OH family but i thought that the bride married into the grooms family. Am i wrong on that one then?

[Piglet]

TubbyTommy said:

I got married in August last year and was welcomed into the OH family but i thought that the bride married into the grooms family. Am i wrong on that one then?

In case you haven't noticed, you both become part of each other's family....

[Deva Link]

There's a pretty standard structure, which I guess might need to be modified slightly:

- You welcome everyone to the wedding and the groom's parents into the family
- Say how beautiful the bride looks (you then have the chance to recount a story about when she was younger)
- Welcome the groom into the family
- Offer some advice or words of wisdom about married life (Maybe that doesn't work unless you're married, but you could do it in the 3rd person)
- Thank anyone who has made the wedding special (caterers, vicar etc)
- Propose a toast to the bride and groom

I found that parts of some of the speeches here http://www.hitched.co.uk/speeches/samples/samplesp... (there are hundreds of them) quite useful.

[Dibble]

Piglet said:

Ahhh that's nice of her to ask you. I not a great fan of the protocol of weddings, where you "have" to do or not do things, they ought to be what your sis wants it to be.

I'd go for the standard welcoming him to the family and saying what a fab sister she is. Personally, I'd also mention your Dad and how much he would have wanted to be there and how proud he would have been of her.

Thanks for that Piglet - I should've mentioned that, but you're quite right. Our Dad won't be there, but I know he'd want to be.

He will get a mention. 16 years, and I still think of him every day.

[Piglet]

Dibble said:

Piglet said:

Ahhh that's nice of her to ask you. I not a great fan of the protocol of weddings, where you "have" to do or not do things, they ought to be what your sis wants it to be.

I'd go for the standard welcoming him to the family and saying what a fab sister she is. Personally, I'd also mention your Dad and how much he would have wanted to be there and how proud he would have been of her.

Thanks for that Piglet - I should've mentioned that, but you're quite right. Our Dad won't be there, but I know he'd want to be.

He will get a mention. 16 years, and I still think of him every day.

I'm sure you do, and I'm sure your sis does and she'll especially think of him on her wedding day. You'll do a fab job though I'm sure x

[tribbles]

I was given that honour for my sister - but that's only because she doesn't get on with Dad.

Unfortunately, a friend of hers did the father's speech for me, so I can't offer any advice.

[Simpo Two]

Dibble said:

He will get a mention. 16 years, and I still think of him every day.

Know how you feel. I've photographed many weddings and the 'absent friends' bit can be quite choking.



NB: Need a tog?

Edited by Simpo Two on Sunday 14th February 21:49

[Dibble]

Simpo Two said:

Dibble said:

He will get a mention. 16 years, and I still think of him every day.

Know how you feel. I've photographed many weddings and the 'absent friends' bit can be quite choking.

NB: Need a tog?

I got married a few months after my oldest sister died; tough gig my speech and mentioning her.

I think the tog's sorted for this gig - and we're the other end and side of the country for you I'm afraid!

[ellroy]

I had to do the same thing for my little sis two years ago, still got a book of the requirements for the fathers speach/duties kicking around. Yours if you want it drop me a pm and i'll happily send it on.

[NDA]

Dibble said:

I got married a few months after my oldest sister died; tough gig my speech and mentioning her.

Impossibly hard I would imagine.

[DickyC]

When I was father of the bride to my eldest step daughter a couple of years ago, I began my speech as follows:

"Being father of the bride while not being the bride's father, I asked the family what sort of a speech I should make. Short was very popular."

It went down well and I was permitted an easy ride over what was actually quite a long speech.

[V8mate]

Dibble said:

My sister has asked me to be the "Father of the Bride"

Pick up the bill?

[Steve Martin]

Feel free to pm me.

[DickyC]

Steve Martin said:

Feel free to pm me.

[Evangelion]

Just don't fall into the trap of saying something like, "He's up there now ... stealing the lead off the roof"

[bramley]

Deva Link said:

There's a pretty standard structure, which I guess might need to be modified slightly:

- You welcome everyone to the wedding and the groom's parents into the family
- Say how beautiful the bride looks (you then have the chance to recount a story about when she was younger)
- Welcome the groom into the family
- Offer some advice or words of wisdom about married life (Maybe that doesn't work unless you're married, but you could do it in the 3rd person)
- Thank anyone who has made the wedding special (caterers, vicar etc)
- Propose a toast to the bride and groom

I found that parts of some of the speeches here http://www.hitched.co.uk/speeches/samples/samplesp... (there are hundreds of them) quite useful.

OP - by all means use hitched as a reference for the structure, but please don't use any jokes from there. As a wedding photographer I have heard them all more times than I care to remember and I get the distinct impression most of the guests have too!

[Don]

I did the "Father of the Bride Speech" for my kid sister as my Dad, by that time, had become a little too confused by Alzheimer's to reliably get through a speech: he read a short blessing instead.

Speech tips: Cover the points of etiquette, keep it short, if you can make it funny that's great but make sure the jokes are completely and utterly inoffensive. Everyone is on your side and no-one is judging so you don't have to compete with Jack Dee and Eddie Izzard.

It's best if you don't read the speech verbatim - it often sounds stilted. Make your notes bullet points and key phrases to encourage a natural style. Make sure your notes are in a LARGE font so they're easy to read.

HTH

[Don]

On the humour front it's best to use family jokes. Everyone's life has had a list of funny situations. Boil those down to the funny bit and use them, rather than telling "after dinner speaker" jokes that everyone has heard fifty times.