Lotus ensure compact toilet roll!
Discussion
Does anybody else have these bloody annoying things at work.
They are fecking useless!
The paper is single ply and when you pull it out it tears off so you sit there with a single piece of paper not even big enough to wipe a sparrows arse!
And to find the end of the toilet roll after it tears off involves standing upside down peering up the hole in the bottom of the dispenser.
You pull the paper on off comes one feckin segment again.
It takes 2 mins to take a dump and 20 mins to wipe your arse!
I try not to use the work facilities anyway but when I do these things drive me fecking nuts!
I have just ripped one apart
They are fecking useless!
The paper is single ply and when you pull it out it tears off so you sit there with a single piece of paper not even big enough to wipe a sparrows arse!
And to find the end of the toilet roll after it tears off involves standing upside down peering up the hole in the bottom of the dispenser.
You pull the paper on off comes one feckin segment again.
It takes 2 mins to take a dump and 20 mins to wipe your arse!
I try not to use the work facilities anyway but when I do these things drive me fecking nuts!
I have just ripped one apart
Edited by Kentish on Monday 15th February 12:59
You wipe your arse? Puff.
Seriously, it's time for you to invest in your own locker store of charmin, or your preferred brand.
Then when it's time to release the hostages you can quietly mosey on over to the locker, collect the said equipment and stroll to the traps. If anyone dares interupt this solomn procedure with a question you can just hold the roll up towards them (without acknowledging them in any way) and continue towards your destiny.
Seriously, it's time for you to invest in your own locker store of charmin, or your preferred brand.
Then when it's time to release the hostages you can quietly mosey on over to the locker, collect the said equipment and stroll to the traps. If anyone dares interupt this solomn procedure with a question you can just hold the roll up towards them (without acknowledging them in any way) and continue towards your destiny.
I'm not sure if they're the same dispenser, but we've got one with three rolls in, so you can switch to a fresh roll when one runs out. Fantastic! Never caught without. Except the rolls are bloody shrink wrapped! So you have to wedge your hand in at some god forsaken angle and ferret around to unwrap the roll before you can get any paper 
You wipe your arse? Puff.
Seriously, it's time for you to invest in your own locker store of charmin, or your preferred brand.
Then when it's time to release the hostages you can quietly mosey on over to the locker, collect the said equipment and stroll to the traps. If anyone dares interupt this solomn procedure with a question you can just hold the roll up towards them (without acknowledging them in any way) and continue towards your destiny.
Seriously, it's time for you to invest in your own locker store of charmin, or your preferred brand.
Then when it's time to release the hostages you can quietly mosey on over to the locker, collect the said equipment and stroll to the traps. If anyone dares interupt this solomn procedure with a question you can just hold the roll up towards them (without acknowledging them in any way) and continue towards your destiny.
Kentish said:
It's easier to kick it hard and then do this:-
Cor - is that "Thing" from The Addams Family?It doesn't even have an arse.
Hey, do you think The Addams Family had an "Arse"?
Like a severed arse that crawled about the place?
They'd never show it on the telly of course, or in the films.
No one really wants to see that sort of thing, do they.
ProfessorPeach said:
Kentish said:
It's easier to kick it hard and then do this:-
Cor - is that "Thing" from The Addams Family?It doesn't even have an arse.
Hey, do you think The Addams Family had an "Arse"?
Like a severed arse that crawled about the place?
They'd never show it on the telly of course, or in the films.
No one really wants to see that sort of thing, do they.
(hur hur...a poo joke)
Timmy35 said:
For some reason I thought this was a strange case of a sports car maunfacturer deciding to venture into the toilet roll business.
You get Porche Mountain Bikes, Ferrari Watches, so why not Lotus Bogroll.
Or for that matter TVR jonnies.
If it's Lotus, doesn't it have to start with an 'E'?You get Porche Mountain Bikes, Ferrari Watches, so why not Lotus Bogroll.
Or for that matter TVR jonnies.
Lotus Evac, maybe.
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